Tom’s Greatest Enemy, Ronald “Hot Rockin’ Ronny” Fuqua, was originally forced out of his slot on WFMU when Tom restarted his show in the early 2000s. Fuqua has embarked on a fascinating journey through the wilds of American radio entertainment.
Fuqua called in many times from 2000 to 2005, especially during the WFMU marathon. He has met up with several other Newbridge-related Best Show characters, including most prominently Roland Gorchnik and Maurice Kern.
WFMU, Jersey City, NJ – Hot Rockin’ Ronny plays New Classic Power Rock, featuring Triumph, REO Speedwagon, etc. He claims that he was cheated out of his show by Tom Scharpling. Scharpling denies this. (October 24, 2000 call; also an unarchived previous call)
Western Maine Message Board. Ronny posts the following: “Ha ha! I got you all. It wasn't Bern Dorn. It was me Hot Rockin' Ronny getting hot rockin' revenge on all of you stupid WMers! Eat my lobster meat.” (December 16, 2000)
RM Radio, Stark, Florida – More New Classic Power Rock. A new, much better band than FM or AM, RM eventually shuts down, and Ronny and all the other DJs never get paid. (December 19, 2000 call)
Silky Station, Philadelphia – Dr. Silk plays Silky Smooth, Luther Vandross-type music. Ronny describes Philadelphia as the best city in the world. (January 16, 2001 call)
WUSA, Boise Idaho - Ronny, as Sgt./Major/Captain John Q. America, plays America’s greatest marches. He is the toast of the town in Boise, getting with all the ladies. (March 6, 2001 call; March 27, 2001 call)
Superchunk Tour Diary - Ronny is referenced in Superchunk drummer Jon Wurster’s online tour diary. Wurster writes: “We're doing a taping for WFMU today for Terre T's show. It will air May 10th at 3:00 pm. I really love FMU but I wish they'd bring back that guy who had Scharpling's old slot --Hot Rockin' Ronny. He seemed to be a little more ‘with it.’” (May 1, 2001)
KMMD, Omaha, NE - As “Kid Midnight,” Ronny plays hits of the 40s and 50s and The Guess Who. He allegedly breaks Glen Jones of WFMU’s record for most consecutive hours on the air. This is thrown into doubt when a caller watching Ronny on The Shout! Network notes that there was a record skipping for 11 minutes. This record is documented in the “Grimness Book of World Records.” (June 5, 2001 call; June 12, 2001 call)
KPRN, Houston, Texas - Ronny broadcasts to thousands of listeners over the Kern Pharmaceuticals Radio Network. He is shafted by Maurice Kern. (August 7, 2001 call)
WCNT, Paymer’s Creek, GA - Ronny is known as Ron-Bob Ford, as the locals would not understand a name like Fuqua. Ronny plays bargain bin country music he buys during forays to the record stores in Macon, the closest city. Ronny and the Gorch steal the locals’ tractors, repaint them and sell them back to their owners. (January 8, 2002 call)
WCOL-FM, West Hoover, Maine - As “Joe College,” Ronny plays all college fight songs. (March 5, 2002)
Ameribel Radio, an island off the coast of Georgia - As “Major Damage,” Ronny broadcasts exclusively to American Air Force officers in Belgium. He successfully steals Dave, Tom Scharpling’s call screener. (August 27, 2002 call)
WDLT, Duluth, MN - Ronny gives out stickers to people entering the Civic Center. He has recently been fired his job as “High Plains Harry” on the Early Early Show which runs from 3-6 AM in Fargo, ND. Ronny was renting a house in Fargo from a rancher and “did something to his wife he didn’t like.” Tom: “What?” HRR: “I banged her.” The rancher was friends with the station manager and got Ronny fired. (March 9, 2004 call)
Jail and investing in Ye Olde Carbooze Filling Station, a drive-through bar - Ronny was in jail for shoplifting cutout Kool and the Gang, Alabama, Jane Wiedlin and The Hooters cassettes from a Target. He was known as Story Man in jail – his stories prevented him from getting beat up. (Mentioned July 27, 2004)
Con-Radio, The “Take Action Party” Political Convention, the VFW in Lowell, MA - Ronny calls from doing the announcements at a political convention for a nationwide prison and halfway house network. Inmates can pick up the station on their ankle bracelets. Ronny met Presidential Candidate Bart Kazooski and Vice Presidential Candidate Blackie O’Bannion in jail. (July 27, 2004 call)
Anchorage, Alaska - Dr. Dandy Dan Dannington of Swift Jocks for Truth mentions that "Ron the Don" Fuqua had the idea to put the Swift Jocks together. Ronny told Dannington that Tom had tried to spank him (Mentioned October 12, 2004).
KSUB - Ronny broadcasts from a submarine. (Mentioned December 21, 2004).
KernCo., 2nd stint - Ronny and Maurice Kern attempt to kill Tom with a deadly package. (December 21, 2004 call).
Alaska, DJing on a Crab Boat - Ronny calls and offers to fill in for Tom. He reveals that he has just finished DJing on a Crab Boat. (August 23, 2005 call)
FM 103, El Paso, Texas - Ronny is DJing as Ronald “Tex” Fuqua in El Paso. Brian Hottenstein of Anything, Inc. reveals that Ronny has received $500,000 from an uncle who has recently died. Ronny hired Anything, Inc. for $200,000 to design a photo shoot for Rolling Stone called “DJ Nation,” in which Ronny would brand “HRR” onto Tom’s buttocks. The caption for the photo will read the caption for the picture will read: “Hot Rockin’ Ronnie Fuqua takes down another lame DJ: WUFM DJ, Tom “The Squid” Scharpling." (Mentioned August 15, 2006 – shout out to Omar and Recidivism.org for this summary)
Mayubinatorial candidate Bob references Tom’s ectoplasmic theft Hot Rockin’ Ronny’s spot - (Mentioned July 31, 2007 – shout out to Omar and Recidivism.org for this summary)
