Author Topic: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes  (Read 1334 times)

~L

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Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« on: March 01, 2011, 08:07:02 PM »
Tonight I got the following fortunes in my cookies:

1.  A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.

2.  Great things happen when men and mountains meet.

To top that, the dictionary I used to check the spelling of fortune spells cookie Cooky.

ChrisRawk

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2011, 08:49:36 PM »
I got a cookie once that said "You did something wrong.  Think!  What did you do?"

If that wasn't enough the cookie was totally stale.
"Heave Ho!"

@ChrisNeri

~L

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2011, 11:47:55 AM »
This one:
 "They can because they think they can."
Yikes!!!!

Pidgeon

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2011, 11:53:02 AM »
I always just get a bunch of lucky numbers.

~L

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2011, 01:29:27 PM »
I have an old friend who was told a few lucky numbers by a fortune teller in India in the 1980's.  He'd never played the lottery before, but decided to play the numbers for a nominal amount.  Of course, he won, about 100 dollars, and still regrets not having had more faith and wagered more.  The fortune teller had also told him the names of his and his wife's parents and had gotten them correct. 

Hearts of Steele

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2011, 08:58:48 AM »
"You will find your Prince Charming."

I got that at two different restaurants.

"Dad gets mad."

AllisonLeGnome

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2011, 12:59:30 PM »
The only "fortune" I have ever actually saved:

"For those who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord."

It would occasionally fall out of my wallet and disappoint someone who thought I was carrying around an inspirational message.

buffcoat

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2011, 04:34:14 PM »
I got "His eyes wander, but his heart stays at home."

I was like, "Who? That bastard."
Who would support such a dummy???

fish

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2011, 08:13:39 PM »
"Geese can be troublesome."

cavorting with nudists

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2011, 08:27:48 PM »
"Geese can be troublesome."


Disappointing is right!  Do not buy into this!

http://www.idausa.org/geese/geese.html
I am over hope and change. I want hope and a motherfucking chainsaw.

wwwes

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2011, 12:56:36 PM »
"Maybe someday man will walk live on moon"
"Perhaps your stupidity could be the downfall"
« Last Edit: May 05, 2011, 01:57:31 PM by wwwes »

daveB from Oakland: No Refunds

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2011, 01:06:39 PM »
"Maybe someday man will walk on moon"

Shouldn't you be fired as a fortune-writer if you predict things that have already happened? Unless these are fortune cookies for doubtful conspiracy theorists.
Despite all my rage, I am still just a mouse in a cape ...

cavorting with nudists

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2011, 01:14:06 PM »
It really doesn't inspire confidence in the cookie's freshness.
I am over hope and change. I want hope and a motherfucking chainsaw.

wwwes

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #13 on: May 05, 2011, 01:58:21 PM »
"Maybe someday man will walk on moon"

Shouldn't you be fired as a fortune-writer if you predict things that have already happened? Unless these are fortune cookies for doubtful conspiracy theorists.
Typo, it was "man will LIVE on moon". But I have to think the only way you get fired as a fortune cookie writer is if you just start using profanity.

JonFromMaplewood

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Re: Disappointing Fortune Cookie fortunes
« Reply #14 on: May 05, 2011, 03:27:20 PM »
"If people are jumping out of windows, there must be a reason."
"I'm riding the silence like John Cage up in this piece." -Tom Scharpling