Don Imus on the Chopping Block

[Sarah]

Speaking of faggots, I don't much like it when some (our fearless leader included) use "girl" or "little girl" to insult boys/men, even in a joking way.  (I believe I commented on this on the old board.)  Clearly, people's using it isn't enough to make me boycott their work, but it saddens me.

On the other hand, I engage in this kind of behavior, too:  I will chastise both women and men by telling them they're acting like boys.  I do this only when the objects of my scorn are engaging in what I consider boylike behavior, but I'm stereotyping even so and grieve at this evidence that I am not yet perfect.

Do I overthink?  Yes indeed.  Am I sometimes too earnest?  Guilty.

[Tim K in DC]

The "c" word that that guy used to describe ann coulter, and which that director used to describe Lily Tomlin, is a word I dislike.  Here's a gay man's response to Ann Coulter's evil shenanigans that at least doesn't sink to her level: http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2007/03/faggots.html

Here is another NOT AT ALL safe for work response to Ann Coulter's evil shenanigans that hits (you be the judge of whether it sinks or rises) some, ah, amazing levels: http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com.* Two words: yogurt cannon. Filthy Laurie, I await your gleeful analysis...

*Editing note re. the toilet talk displayed here: I tried to bury the explicit terms exhibited above in html, but it didn't work. Jason, is there any way that some kind of magic could be worked in this department for links that happen to contain f-bombs and the like? I don't want to see Tom lose his Mennen sponsorship, you know?

[Emerson]

The "c" word that that guy used to describe ann coulter, and which that director used to describe Lily Tomlin, is a word I dislike.  Here's a gay man's response to Ann Coulter's evil shenanigans that at least doesn't sink to her level: http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2007/03/faggots.html

Context, my friend. I was more offended by Sullivan's pro-war pep talks in '03 than by that Huckabee's asshole using the "c" word.

~EmD

[John Junk]

I wasn't offended by the c-word in the Huckabees clip, and I actually like the Huckabees guy as a director.  I just dislike the word.  It is a word I dislike.  Maybe I should've saved it for the "Words I dislike" thread.

My point is that it's pretty much impossible for someone to effectively castigate someone else for use of the term "faggot" when, in the same blog,  you're unnecessarily calling that person a "cunt".  I mean that's just bush league.

[Jason]

{url=http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com/}Ifuckedinsectoidnutjob{/url}

That's how you link with the offensive word removed, the {}s should of course be replaced with []s.

Also I'm a huge fan of cunt, particulalrly as a word, as was Chaucer the father of English literature.

"For certeyn, olde dotard, by your leave,
You shall have queynte right enough at eve"

[Megan]

Just because you're a fan of a word doesn't mean it's not offensive.  Especially when you call me one.

[Sarah]

Oddly enough, I don't care when my Canadian friends call me a cunthead, even though it would hurt my feelings if they (or anyone else) called me a cunt.  This is because Canadians (perhaps only New Brunswickers; I'm not sure) use "cunthead" much the way Brits use "cunt":  as a generic term of abuse, rather than as an insult specific to women.  Oh, one can still fuss about a term for female genitalia being used to denote someone who's a jerk, but when it's applied equally to both sexes, some of the sting disappears, I find.

[Jason]

Would anyone agree that by considering certain words offensive then that person chooses to be offended?

[Megan]

I would say that if someone cannot see the offensiveness in the words they CHOOSE to use, then they are lacking in empathy, it doesn't make the word less offensive.  Also, when the words they CHOOSE to use are clearly meant to offend, then it's not a matter of anyone choosing to be offended, they are merely picking up on the offense the speaker means to convey.  Another example, calling someone's mother a "fat lump" is clearly offensive when the intent of the speaker is, precisely, to offend. 

[Laurie]

Jason, you really ought to respect your mother-in-law! For shame, young man.

[Sarah]

Yeah, what kind of cunthead are you, Jason?

[Jason]

I would say that if someone cannot see the offensiveness in the words they CHOOSE to use, then they are lacking in empathy, it doesn't make the word less offensive.  Also, when the words they CHOOSE to use are clearly meant to offend, then it's not a matter of anyone choosing to be offended, they are merely picking up on the offense the speaker means to convey.  Another example, calling someone's mother a "fat lump" is clearly offensive when the intent of the speaker is, precisely, to offend. 

Thank you for illustrating my point so well. There is a difference between what is said, what is intending to be conveyed and what the person who hears what is said understands it to mean. I don't think it is either possible or reasonable to expect somebody who is speaking to take into account the personal linguistic propriety or neurotic foibles of everyone they speak to.
I understand it's a powerful word, there are people who use it merely because it is offensive, but you can't just automatically be offended by it anymore than you can automatically accept it based on the speakers gender or nationality.

Coda

The week before last I met my father in NYC. We drank beer and told each other stories, at one point in the midst of laughter he called me a cunt Looking back it makes me feel warm and symbolizes how our familial relationship has developed into a loving friendship, yet two decades earlier, in the throes of hormone fuelled rebellion, I'd use the very same word to describe my utter hatred of him.

[Laurie]

Jason, that book you linked to in your last post... Is it worse than this one? Are all books with "cunt" in the title destined to suck?

[Josh]