FOT Forum
The Best Show on WFMU => Show Discussion => Topic started by: Dorvid Barnas on July 04, 2007, 01:39:15 AM
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Exhibit A: Ambrosia's Joe "Louis" Puerta: Where is he now? Creeping out your niece!
[youtube=425,350]MhTjcOAzLJU&mode=related&search=[/youtube]
Exhibit B: Rogers Hornsby tries to get it together for long enough to celebrate Ambrosia.
[youtube=425,350]ewa6jhuFnEw[/youtube]
Exhibt C-Z - The lyrics to "Cowboy Star"
Of man's progress I don't give a hoot
And man's estrangements Of nature's arrangements
Has given cause for my heartbreak To boot
The simple life though Filled with strife
And struggle with the land
Still remained its simple self
And that I understand
So city smog and dog eat dog
For some may hold sublime
Well as for me If I had my way
I'd had lived Some other time
Praise the prairie
And pass the cake
I'd like to eat it too
But being born now was my mistake
I've passed the buckaroo
I'd say
You're right
No chance Why fight?
Why be A cowboy star
(But) Hump back brahmas
Lovely cow mamas
Saw dust floor saloons
Dance hall queens Romanced in my dreams
So why pop my balloon?
No chance
Why fight?
Still in my own right
I'd be A cowboy star
Dreams of my life
Are so carried away
If just in my dreams
I could Be for one day
Just for one day
Lost in my dreams
I'll be riding away
Like a cowboy star
Stage set: Sundown,
In my last Showdown I'll be....
[gunshot]
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Hornsby looks like Donnie Darko.
And the song is even better with the lyrics clarified.
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"And man's estrangements of nature's arrangements"
Wow, what a line! Are you sure Bob Dylban didn't write this song?
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Hornsby looks like Donnie Darko. Larry Flynt.
I bought both of these songs last night.
No more drinking during the show for me.
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Porcupine Pie
[youtube=425,350]fmaZW6ZN42E[/youtube]
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cowboy star was by far the worse of the two.
it went like this:
toto ->
seal (think 'kiss from a rose' with the swelling strings) ->
king crimson ->
ennio morricone ->
theme from 'city slickers' (can't you just picture billy crystal on horseback here? wearin' his mets cap?) ->
queen ->
gunshot!
HORRIBLE
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The YouTube community does not share our distaste:
Comments & Responses
lbhurt (5 months ago)
Fun stuff.
aeromachinespcpals (4 months ago)
Never heard this one previously by Neil or anyone. Good and fun for the kids.
CauseImLovely (2 months ago)
I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH MY MOM SANG IT TO ME WHEN I was younger!
megz0407 (2 months ago)
LOV THUZ SONG SO SO MUCH!! stiks in that hed... ma skool teacha waz singin it ta tha clazz tha otha dai!! hehe lovzn it. catch yo
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Wait a second isnt Rogers Hornsby the old time manager of the Giants like 60 years ago?
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cowboy star was by far the worse of the two.
it went like this:
toto ->
seal (think 'kiss from a rose' with the swelling strings) ->
king crimson ->
ennio morricone ->
theme from 'city slickers' (can't you just picture billy crystal on horseback here? wearin' his mets cap?) ->
queen ->
gunshot!
HORRIBLE
Evan, something tells me that you've traded some jam band tapes.
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cowboy star was by far the worse of the two.
it went like this:
toto ->
seal (think 'kiss from a rose' with the swelling strings) ->
king crimson ->
ennio morricone ->
theme from 'city slickers' (can't you just picture billy crystal on horseback here? wearin' his mets cap?) ->
queen ->
gunshot!
HORRIBLE
Evan, something tells me that you've traded some jam band tapes.
I am not ashamed of my pot-smoking high school days.
Confession: I had an E-TREE account.
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Hornsby looks like Donnie Darko if he didn't die when the plane fell on him,
Aged 25 years and rocked the drugs too hard.
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I'm going with Porcupine Pie. Cowboy Star might be more awful but it's that kind of amazing awful. I died laughing when that terrible sounding gunshot going off.
Porcupine Pie is just as corny as all get out and just makes me sick.
I'm sure that the FOT Voted worse band of all time, Insane Clown Posse, made a few stinkers that outrank these two. I am not about to find out.
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both of these songs are awesome.
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I think both songs are too funny to be the worst song ever. I think the worst song ever has to be literally unlistenable.
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I have a nomination: Scott Walker's Jolson and Jones. I defy you to listen to his disk "The Drift" from start to finish. I have done it three times. What does not kill you makes you stronger.
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I have a nomination: Scott Walker's Jolson and Jones. I defy you to listen to his disk "The Drift" from start to finish. I have done it three times. What does not kill you makes you stronger.
I much prefer the song from "the drift" with the sampled daffy duck voice. oh man, i'm in stitches whenever i hear that.
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Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music is easily the most unlistenable song of all time (pick any one of the four). But I don't think it's the worst because he was just doing it to get back at his record company.
Seriously - I challenge you to listen to all 4 sides of that record without doing anything to distract you. It's a remarkable experience to even try.
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Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music is easily the most unlistenable song of all time (pick any one of the four). But I don't think it's the worst because he was just doing it to get back at his record company.
Seriously - I challenge you to listen to all 4 sides of that record without doing anything to distract you. It's a remarkable experience to even try.
Ha! I was gonna mention that one. I love VU, and I love quite a lot of Lou Reed's solo stuff, but man oh manishevitz, that is truly awful music noise.
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Porcupine Pie just sort of teeters perfectly on the edge of awfulness, which keeps you listening until it can infect you with its crazy. I'd had enough of Cowboy Star ten seconds in.
I'm also fascinated with how Neil Diamond will mention blue jeans at the drop of a hat.
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Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music is easily the most unlistenable song of all time (pick any one of the four). But I don't think it's the worst because he was just doing it to get back at his record company.
Seriously - I challenge you to listen to all 4 sides of that record without doing anything to distract you. It's a remarkable experience to even try.
Ha! I was gonna mention that one. I love VU, and I love quite a lot of Lou Reed's solo stuff, but man oh manishevitz, that is truly awful music noise.
F.L./F.M.J.C.,
It was one of the first things I downloaded during the "Napster" phase of American music, just to hear what all the fuss was about. I've seen some people online try to defend it and pretend that there's some sort of discernible theme in there. Uh, no.
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I thought The Load-Out by Jackson Brown was declared the worst song ever? There's nothing worse than some millionaire singing an ode to the slobs working as his roadies like he's some friend to the working-man. P'shaw.
PS - I like Metal Machine Music
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I thought The Load-Out by Jackson Brown was declared the worst song ever? There's nothing worse than some millionaire singing an ode to the slobs working as his roadies like he's some friend to the working-man. P'shaw.
Stan mentioned this in the chat on Tuesday night -- the tune did indeed receive this dishonor on the 11/30/04 installment.
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I think Hornsby imitating Mohammad Ali and saying "Joe Frosia" is worse than both songs.
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Cowboy Star is the worst song ever
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Has nobody heard the Wiggles version of Porcupine Pie?
It's actually better than the original!!!
Check it out on iTunes.
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Porcupine Pie is pretty wacky, but I'd say it gets a pass because it sounds like he wrote it for his kids off the top of his head, and then decided to start playing it live, which is the sort of crazy think I love about Neil. (his writing a song about the movie E.T. is another example of this).
Cowboy Star is just awful all the way through. Though some people apparently like it...allmusic.com calls the song a "knockout"! HAHA! That whole Aaron Copeland section in the middle is SO BAD!
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are we supposed to be sending in song suggestions? If so, I have a winner.
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this isn't mine, but it's up there:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLYRdWxJ7zY
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sorry Andy, that song is super good compared to P. Pie and C. Star!
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Cowboy Star is just awful all the way through. Though some people apparently like it...allmusic.com calls the song a "knockout"! HAHA! That whole Aaron Copeland section in the middle is SO BAD!
I dunno, that Americana section sounds like it could be a heretofore unknown influence on Soupjam Stevens.
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this isn't mine, but it's up there:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLYRdWxJ7zY
I like Railroad Jerk's cover of this song.
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The truly amazing and horrible part about Cowboy Star is that in the first part the strings and brass are obviously played on a 70's synth; the middle 'Aaron Copeland' part features an actual orchestra. Since it's really 3 or 4 terrible mini-songs spliced together there's no consistency at all.
And I'm going to mention the Bee Gees' "New York Mining Disaster, 1941" as a possible challenger.
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Gentleman Jim,
Tom played New York Mining Disaster 1941 on the show one time, and my parents used to listen to that (and "Muskrat Love") on 8-track in our living room, so BACK OFF.
Really, though, Muskrat Love is one of the worst songs of all time, so you may be right about the Brothers Gibb number, too.
buffcoat
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Gentleman Jim,
Really, though, Muskrat Love is one of the worst songs of all time, so you may be right about the Brothers Gibb number, too.
buffcoat
The single edit, maybe, but the "album version" was the rat's meow.
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I still say "Piano Man" is the nadir of songwriting for me. I would add "My Humps" again, too, but I've realized that it's dignifying it too much to call it a "song," so...
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About a dozen people in my office currently have this song as their ringtone:
[youtube=425,350]x_mi8dC-Lts[/youtube]
This song is vomit inducing. AWFUL.
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worst song candidate?
[youtube=425,350]VFUGZpKXWiI[/youtube]
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Holy s hit, Josh - I had completely forgotten about that one!
(I don't think it's worst song worthy though.)
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[youtube=425,350]qknoN-mZAFE[/youtube]
This has to be in the ball park, and if I did this right, you can see what I am talking about
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About a dozen people in my office currently have this song as their ringtone:
[youtube=425,350]x_mi8dC-Lts[/youtube]
This song is vomit inducing. AWFUL.
Wow. That would be enough to make me grow a beard, change my name to something biblical, and purchase several firearms.
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[youtube=425,350]qknoN-mZAFE[/youtube]
This has to be in the ball park, and if I did this right, you can see what I am talking about
Do people who hang themselves think about other people who hung themselves? Maybe Michael Hutchence saw this video that fateful night and realized, like Herve, that he would never top that performance.
Oh, yeah, I forgot what MH was really doing. Uh, never mind.
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I think Cowboy Star is worse just because its so long and tuneless.
A good candidate for worst song ever (But I have grown to love it) is the hairdresser song from TV Carnage.
[youtube=425,350]zAR8LpQrVtY[/youtube]
The middle "Teasey Louise" section is super fantastique.
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Your taste is on my mind
[youtube=425,350]PJQVlVHsFF8[/youtube]
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And there is always this
[youtube=425,350]Q-xo-pdwmPI[/youtube]
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It might just be me, and maybe this isn't the worst song ever, but I can't stand Averil Levigne (sp?) and this song tops it off for me:
http://www.youtube.com/v/rGkV6HB1gck
A sample of the lyrics:
I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door
Even though I told him yesterday and the day before
I hate it when a guy doesn't get the tab
And I have to pull my money out and that looks bad (yeah)
Where are the hopes, where are the dreams
My Cinderella story scene
When do you think they'll finally see
Also, she sings a little anagram of her name somewhere towards the middle of the song. Gross.
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About a dozen people in my office currently have this song as their ringtone:
[youtube=425,350]x_mi8dC-Lts[/youtube]
This song is vomit inducing. AWFUL.
you are so DEER.
that song is genius
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I just thought of one...Dirty White Boy by Foreigner! What an awful, awful song...completely annoying title, and they repeat it over and over and over!
All I could find was this version on youtube...from them at some fair or something...
[youtube=425,350]KlMiHyRh0pQ[/youtube]
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Hey, baby, if youre feelin down
I know whats good for you all day
Are you worried what your friends see
Will it ruin your reputation lovin me
cause Im a dirty white boy
Yeah a dirty white boy
A dirty white boy
Dont drive no big black car
Dont look like no hollywood movie star
You want me to be true to you
You dont give a damn what I do to you
Im just a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Well, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
A dirty white boy
Ive been in trouble since I dont know when
Im in trouble now and I now somehow Ill find trouble again
Im a loner, but Im never alone
Every night I get one step closer to the danger zone
cause Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Cmon, cmon boy
Dirty white boy, white boy
Dirty white boy, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Hey, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy, yeah
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Hell, yeah, I'm a dirty white boy. I'm a lean, mean, ground-beef machine.
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While I am white, a boy, and sometimes dirty, I would never describe myself with those three words. I feel like the person who would is like a guy you meet at a bar who is kind of fun to talk to, and maybe you end up smoking a oney with him in the back alley, but then he starts talking about all the problems with "n words" (only he doesn't say n words), and then you feel depressed and go home.
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I think "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz has earned a place in song hell. Everything about this song is half-assed. Just reading these lyrics puts that terrible funk bass in my head:
I wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly
Id fly above the trees
Over the seas in all degrees
To anywhere I please
Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah
Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah
Lets go and see the stars
The milky way or even mars
Where it could just be ours
Lets fade into the sun
Let your spirit fly
Where we are one
Just for a little fun
Oh oh oh yeah !
I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah
I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah
I got to get away
Feel I got to get away
Oh oh oh yeah
I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah with you yeah yeah
Oh yeah !
I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah with you yeah yeah
I got to get away
I want to get away x4
Yeah
I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah with you yeah yeah
I got to get away
I want to get away x4
Yeah
I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah with you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
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[youtube=425,350]Exkpc-jylSI&mode=related&search=[/youtube]
"Funky Groove" by Reason To Live.
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[youtube=425,350]cXsGVH1Ej7s[/youtube]
Need I say more?
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I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door
Even though I told him yesterday and the day before
I hate it when a guy doesn't get the tab
And I have to pull my money out and that looks bad (yeah)
Where are the hopes, where are the dreams
My Cinderella story scene
When do you think they'll finally see
You're right, Erika. This song is the worst. I've never heard it before. But Avril is terrible in a whole other ball park. At least songs like Cowboy Star and the like are entertaining and a novelty, while Avril songs just really make me wanna cry...
Oh, and I, too, vote for Cowboy Star as the best worst song.
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Neil Diamond turned 67 today.
But I will remember it as the day that I learned "Porcupine Pie" was an actual, honest-to-goodness Neil Diamond song, and not a parody. I had listened to that entire Best Show episode cynically (or perhaps hopefully?) thinking it had to be a put-on.
Thanks, Neil... a double scoop, please
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I still think this song is worse than "Cowboy Star" and/or "Porcupine Pie," both of which are awful but at least have some (unintentional) comedy value. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you the single most manipulative song ever written: PowerSource's "Dear Mr. Jesus". This actually made the Billboard Hot 100.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTTdkG8eUWQ[/youtube]
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If we're walking down that ugly road, I will remind you of this gem, which I feel sure has already been posted, but how can you get enough of this sort of emotional roundhouse?
[youtube]VNsvE33pRSw[/youtube]
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I still think this song is worse than "Cowboy Star" and/or "Porcupine Pie," both of which are awful but at least have some (unintentional) comedy value. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you the single most manipulative song ever written: PowerSource's "Dear Mr. Jesus". This actually made the Billboard Hot 100.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTTdkG8eUWQ[/youtube]
Holy shit. We have a winner.
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I'm late to this thread (obviously), but I genuinely like "Dirty White Boy." Oops.
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I still think this song is worse than "Cowboy Star" and/or "Porcupine Pie," both of which are awful but at least have some (unintentional) comedy value. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you the single most manipulative song ever written: PowerSource's "Dear Mr. Jesus". This actually made the Billboard Hot 100.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTTdkG8eUWQ[/youtube]
Holy shit. We have a winner.
If you hate that you should check out Lil' Markie.
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If you hate that you should check out Lil' Markie.
Lil' Markie is the work of a sick, sick man.
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Ew boy. I think we have a new, serious contender here: The Guess Who's "Glamour Boy".
EXHIBIT A: The lyrics. (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Glamour-Boy-lyrics-The-Guess-Who/74E8519D53ABA4EA48256CE9002BF9D1) Apparently it costs $25,000 to look like a woman, but it costs an additional twelve grand to ensure that you also look like your sister.
EXHIBIT B: [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=AdRTEi9ZlbI[/youtube]
(It is actually worse on the record, since the LP version has an interlude about a fictional glam rock band called Ricky and the Balloons.)
The ironic thing it's all about how awful and phony glam is, but it wants to be an Elton John song so, so bad.
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Are we not counting the world of "Song-Poems" here? Almost any cut off of any of the MSR Madness compilations is a contender. Truly fascinating and amazing stuff.
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http://youtube.com/watch?v=EXcWpLlelVM
Red One
HEIDI!
Ohhh Ohhh
La La La
We Love designer
I am, I'm too fabu-lous
I'm so fierce that it's so nuts
I live, to be model thin
Dress me, I'm your manne-quin
(A bunch of designer names in a "French" accent)
Fashion put it all on me
Don't you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Fashion put it all on me
Don't you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Ohhhh Ohhhhh
La La La
We love designer
I need, some new stile-ttos
Can't walk, down the street in those
You are, who you wear it's true
A girl's just as hot as the shoe she chooses
(A bunch of designer names in a "French" accent)
Fashion put it all on me
Don't you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Fashion put it all on me
Don't you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Ohhhh Ohhhhh
La La La
We Love designer
Ohhhh Ohhhhh
La La La
We Love designer
Fashion put it all on me
Don't you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Fashion put it all on me
Don't you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Fashion put it all on me
Don't you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Fashion put it all on me
Don't you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Ohhh Ohhhhh
La La La
We love designer
Ohhh Ohhhhh
La La La
We love designer
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The Red Hot Chili Peppers are not just the worst band in history, but this ranking includes every last bar band, song poem, and demo tape. Any 14 year old's basement metal band is better. Earl Jam is better. People singing around the campfire is better. They are also the "worst" band in history, by which I mean morally, and this ranking includes Burzum, R. Kelly, and Charles Manson. Their music is so bad that it is actually sinful for them to make it.
So sure, you might have an individual song here or there that is worse. But I'll take Neil Diamond over RHCP any day.
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Ew boy. Zine humor.
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http://youtube.com/watch?v=EXcWpLlelVM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThyHAsnGalw
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Earl Jam is better.
I liked it when Ed Leo supported Earl Jam ;)
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worst song candidate?
[youtube=425,350]VFUGZpKXWiI[/youtube]
Angelo Badalamenti working title was "Donna and Maddy get James'd".
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GARBAGE DAY!