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FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: John Junk on August 16, 2007, 10:30:29 PM

Title: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: John Junk on August 16, 2007, 10:30:29 PM
Various Artists
The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 7: 1967
[Hip-O Select; 2007]
Rating: 9.9

9.9???
Couldn't you just give this thing a 10 if you love it so much fer Chrissakes??  What is the one-tenth of a quality that keeps it from being a 10??  Did anything ever get a ten?  Would the heavens open up and rain turds on us if something was given a 10?

I don't have a blog so you guys have to be subjected to this.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Sploops on August 17, 2007, 01:23:36 AM
You read pitchfork? ... Bwahahahahahahaha!!!   No but seriously, pitchfork?  Ahahahahahahaha!!!
Really though?  Wow.  I thought only lamewads read pitchfork. 





P.S.  I hate pitchfork.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: evan (giggles) on August 17, 2007, 02:19:05 AM
i read pitchfork when i want to laugh at horrible music journalism.

somehow music i like ALWAYS gets a 5.8 from them. on those rare occasions when they devote space to something i know of and like, it's as if they know exactly what it i'm enjoying at a particular juncture in time, and decide that i'm a 5.8 out of 10 for liking it.

the decimal rating system is both retarded and pretentious. why even "grade" an album. talk about its contents, and readers will respond to the quality of the writing and go hear it for themselves.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: chrisfoll577 on August 17, 2007, 07:28:51 AM
not to mention the review reads like a b- midterm essay for some sham 'sixties american pop culture studies' course at chicago university.  i'm just going to indiscriminately throw the race card out there and say pitchfork didn't give motown 67 a 10.0 because all the artists are black. there, i said it. i don't give a shit.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Sarah on August 17, 2007, 07:35:41 AM
I bet it's more because giving anything an absolutely positive review strikes them as unhep. 
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Dan B on August 17, 2007, 07:28:39 PM
They have good fast news about music I like.  The reviews, ehhh not so much.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: kenkwan on August 17, 2007, 08:37:09 PM
I agree with Dan B. I check the site every day for the news, but haven't read a review in three years. Although, one complaint I do have about the site, is to stop having news articles about bands touring, and then the shows are all dates in Europe. Are Europeans actually going to pitchfork to get tour dates?
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: bookem_dan-o on August 18, 2007, 07:13:11 PM
What's a good site to read good, critical, fun to read, but unpretentious record reviews?

I used to go to tinymixtapes.com a lot, but after seeing positive reviews of records by bands like Gomez and Pearl Jam, I no longer trust their critical taste.

Mark Prindle's site is always good for a laugh, but his reviews are so schizophrenic (not to mention infrequent) that they're only good for entertainment purposes only.

Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Dan B on August 18, 2007, 07:38:36 PM
www.stylusmagazine.com is pretty good.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Pride of Staten Island on August 20, 2007, 12:13:12 PM
Various Artists
The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 7: 1967
[Hip-O Select; 2007]
Rating: 9.9

9.9???
Couldn't you just give this thing a 10 if you love it so much fer Chrissakes??  What is the one-tenth of a quality that keeps it from being a 10??  Did anything ever get a ten?  Would the heavens open up and rain turds on us if something was given a 10?

I don't have a blog so you guys have to be subjected to this.

This one of the dozen or so things that drives me crazy about Pitchfork. How exactly does one quantify the difference between a 9.9 and a 10? Is there some sort of crazy mathematical formula they use to compute grades? I actually hope there is because it would go a long way into clarifying a rating system that is otherwise both inane and arbitrary. Ok, all rating systems are arbitrary but at least the difference between a 4 star album and a 5 star album is comprehensible. I cannot wrap my head around how one tenth of point means anything at all. It's just cutesy bulls-hit. (Incidentally, I called Tom during the "I Don't Get It" show. He told me it's like the rating system in the Olympics and then GOMPed me for doubting he could name all the members of the Wu Tang Clan.)

I've often thought about how they got the name Pitchfork anyway and I've concluded that it's some sort of "needle in the haystack" metaphor. They are assuming the role of the tool that will dig through the hay so that their reader might find the needle of musical worthiness. In actuality, they're just throwing hay all over the f--king place.

Joke inspired by Henry Owings and Chunklet (set up by Henry, punchline by me):

What's the difference between Pitchfork and a bucket of s-hit?

The bucket of s-hit may have been produced by someone who knows something about music.

Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: GetOffMyBone on August 20, 2007, 03:22:18 PM
I prefer Recommended, Not Recommended, and the off-chance of a Highly Recommended.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: buffcoat on August 20, 2007, 04:23:06 PM
I deem all new releases to be either "Successfully Recorded Sound to CD" or "Blank CD."  I don't like to hurt people's feelings - and sometimes I think the blank CD people might get offended.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Jason on August 20, 2007, 09:04:24 PM
Call me old fashioned but it either rocks, rots or rules.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Josh on August 20, 2007, 09:28:23 PM
Call me old fashioned but it either rocks, rots or rules.


What about Mighty Mighty Bosstones?
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Sploops on August 20, 2007, 10:10:53 PM
Call me old fashioned but it either rocks, rots or rules.


What about Mighty Mighty Bosstones?

(http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en-commons/2/27/DecayingPeachSmall.gif)
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: TL on August 21, 2007, 09:31:29 AM
Call me old fashioned but it either rocks, rots or rules.


What about Mighty Mighty Bosstones?

I don't know how Sploops could think they rot, when they obviously invented metal...  or ska...  or...  skettle...
Um, never mind.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Sarah on August 21, 2007, 09:52:50 AM
Hell, I'll still play 'em sometimes, especially postbar when I've hauled company home with me and don't feel like frightening people away with my music choices.  They don't rock, rot, or rule.  That scale always did need a "*shrug*" option.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: PatrickChew on August 21, 2007, 10:15:58 AM
Call me old fashioned but it either rocks, rots or rules.


What about Mighty Mighty Bosstones?

I don't know how Sploops could think they rot, when they obviously invented metal...  or ska...  or...  skettle...
Um, never mind.

That's ska-core to you.

(http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/5180ZKJP9PL._AA240_.jpg)
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: John Junk on August 21, 2007, 01:45:55 PM
Hell, I'll still play 'em sometimes, especially postbar when I've hauled company home with me and don't feel like frightening people away with my music choices.  They don't rock, rot, or rule.  That scale always did need a "*shrug*" option.

I think there sort of is a shrug option, and Pavement and Sebadoh are in it, among others.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Sarah on August 21, 2007, 07:10:30 PM
In Rock, Rot, and Rule?  I think not, sir.  Maybe for those wavering pantywaists at Pitchfork, but I doubt that Mr. Ronald Thomas Clontle would stoop to such indecisiveness.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: John Junk on August 21, 2007, 07:27:14 PM
Take another listen, son.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: Sarah on August 21, 2007, 07:55:00 PM
I really should, I suppose; it's been a while.
Title: Re: Sorry Pitchfork, but...
Post by: johnfgillson on September 01, 2007, 07:43:55 PM
I go to Pitchfork because it reminds me what comes out/came out on Tuesday. Am I missing an online site that does a better job at that? Metacritic misses a lot of good releases and Allmusic is just an eyesore and a bother to surf.