FOT Forum
FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: Chris L on September 24, 2007, 08:23:12 AM
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How come this game never took off in message board form? Am I the only one who'd like to see it revived?
In case anyone's got THE GUTS:
Bob Hope
Rosanna Arquette
The hero from the movie DEADLY PREY (see below)
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQySDbFb97s[/youtube]
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Whoops - sleepy; Bob HOPE, not Barker. Though Barker would fit the character better
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This is by far my favorite segment on TBSOWFMU. Here's my attempt:
Ted Prior, an out-of-luck farm boy moves to a small factory town in order to try to make some money to support his family. Bob Hope, the ruthless owner of the local steel plant, is known for grift and scams of all sorts, and has the local judges and police in his pocket. His daughter, Rosanna Arquette, is spoiled and out-of-touch. She first meets our hero as he's coming out of the steel plant one day and disses him something good. Later, we discover that Ted Prior is also some sort of martial arts expert, and he discovers the illegal fighting club (run by Barker) and tries to get some matches to make some money. There, out of his uniform and properly coiffed, Arquette becomes enchanted by his manly physique, powerful mullet, and honorable fighting techniques. Of course, she doesn't make the connection that it's the same guy.
Some sort of undetermined ethnic, possibly narco-gang comes to town and begins to terrorize the people; think Joe Mantegna in a vaguely Central American getup and mustache but with some weird accent. Perhaps it is from a business deal gone wrong for Bob Hope. The big showdown occurs when the gang comes to the plant, kill Bob Hope (with requisite death speech), kidnap Rosanna Arquette, and then Prior goes kung-fu batsh*t crazy and starts taking out bad guys left and right. He finally comes to her rescue and she makes the connection that he is the pitfighting gladiator and throws herself in his arms, begging for forgiveness. There is a solid 80s lovemaking montage with some soulful guitar in the background, and in the end Ted turns the plant over to the workers, rides off on a motorcycle with his woman.
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Bob Barker, the ruthless owner of the local steel plant,
Eh? What happened to Bob Hope? No matter; nice one.
I forgot to mention the person who answers (or anyone else, I suppose) should suggest 3 more names to keep the game going add infantileum
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Bob Barker, the ruthless owner of the local steel plant,
I forgot to mention the person who answers (or anyone else, I suppose) should suggest 3 more names to keep the game going add infantileum
Jim Brown
James Dean
Charo
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Jim Brown
James Dean
Charo
Jim Brown and James Dean star in this landmark drama as two men who overcome their racial differences and become closer than brothers, only to have their bond shattered by a pair of ferociously gyrating hips. While researching his family tree, Brown discovers that he and rival construction worker Dean are both direct descendents of the brutal King Leopold II of Belgium, who raped and/or artificially inseminated Congolese slaves and Belgian peasants alike. Stunned by a blood relation they didn't think possible, the two of them steal Dean's father's convertible and embark on a spiritual quest to Mexico, all the while brawling with rednecks and flouting society's corrupt rules. Once they arrive, however, both are tempted by vivacious nightclub singer Charo, who's also married to a famous bandleader/powerful, ruthless gangster (Xavier Cugat as himself). Soon Dean and Brown are rivals again and engage in a knockdown, drag out fight, after which Brown is gunned down in the street by Cugat's henchmen. Dean, overcome with guilt, swears revenge and trails the tuneful thug to his sprawling mansion. There he enacts deadly revenge upon Cugat, only to be coldbloodedly shot and killed by Charo while fleeing the premises (and possibly the premise). The one-and-only film from director Brendan Fraser Sr. broke racial barriers across the nation upon its initial release and still has the power to shock today. Don't miss Black Heart, White Pout.
Jackie Gleason
Asia Argento
Toshiro Mifune
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Jackie Gleason
Asia Argento
Toshiro Mifune
Great obscurity! You know, we've been following the rules incorrectly. We're supposed to include genre. But this is hard enough.
Zany buddy cop action/comedy.
Jackie Gleason is a veteran cop, cutting corners and doing as little as possible to get by. On a trip to the bar when he's supposed to be out on the beat, Gleason tries to flirt with Asia Argento, who we quickly learn is his new supervisor. The next day, Gleason is assigned a new beat and a new partner, the detective Toshiro Mifune who was only hired as a favor to friends. Humorous montages of Toshiro the ignorant (and culturally confused) and Jackie the incompetent are interrupted by a crime spree. Jackie and Toshiro become good friends and learn to again (or for once) be good cops and run by the book. Lots of high-fives and catch phrases are thrown around, as well as guys thrown into piles of cardboard boxes and slow motion shots of them running away from explosions. Somehow a scene with Asia in a leather jumpsuit is worked in. Bad guys are defeated, Jackie and Asia kiss, and something vaguely racist happens with Toshiro, like he ends up fishing while everyone else laughs at him. You'll explode in a laugh riot when you see Chubby and Chop Suey, Cops
Yeah, not the best.
Jay-Z, in his acting debut
Martin Short
Betty White
Pick your genre
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Jay-Z, in his acting debut
Martin Short
Betty White
Pick your genre
Whoops, I forgot about picking the genre. Let's say you can specify the genre or just go with whatever the names inspire.
Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter makes his surprising acting debut in this quirky, sensitive comedy drama from the people who brought you Otters Holding Hands (2009). Jigga plays Norman Westphal, a lonely Tae Bo instructor who spends all his free time collecting 78 RPM records and playing virtual world games like Third Life and Cyber Topeka. The course of his life irrevocably changes when he befriends two fellow eccentrics: Mabel Balducci (Betty White), a crotchety yet lovable ex-Broadway hoofer with Tourette's whose private press records Norman discovers at a friend's garage sale; and neighbor Zazz Gunnerson (Martin Short), a jittery, anxious, facially scarred bus driver who never got over his wife's death in a freak spelunking accident and is also obsessed with 60's French pop. The three of them decide to break out of their shells and embark on an epic cross country trip to New York, where Mabel hopes to nail one last Broadway audition. Due to a series of quirky circumstances, however, they must use a beat-up old jet pack that belonged to Zazz's uncle as their mode of transportation. Watch them hold on for emotional and physical life as they jet pack their way through a hilariously melancholy emotional journey that culminates in Norman's Mabel-inspired decision to cut a rap demo, which he performs in French as a tribute to Zazz. The film will inexplicably be named Boys and Girls in America after the Hold Steady album, and Craig Finn will have a cameo as a Davy Crockett hat-wearing street poet.
OK, here's three more (any genre). I thought I wasn't going to do any more if no one else jumped in but I might just keep doing it til infinity.
Catherine Deneuve
Burt Reynolds
EDIT: Creed Branton Bratton from The Office
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Also, I promise my next one (oh, there will be a next one... one way or another) will not involve some kind of road trip.
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I just want to say that I really enjoy this thread. I hope to contribute at one point, though not right now (drinks!).
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Awesome! Creed is, by far, the most under-appreciated character on TV.
His blog is second only to DFK's: http://blog.nbc.com/CreedThoughts/
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Awesome! Creed is, by far, the most under-appreciated character on TV.
His blog is second only to DFK's: http://blog.nbc.com/CreedThoughts/
Seconded!
Wouldn't want a whole show, but the moments he's on are the funniest of the weekly schedule - I liken it to early Tobias on Arrested Development.
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Catherine Deneuve
Burt Reynolds
Creed Bratton from The Office
Ooooo, this one is actually TOO good. I don't think I can do it justice.
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Burt and Creed are two washed-up former minor league hockey players in an unnamed Northeast town. Creed works at a pickle store mopping up and making the mix, which he routinely siphons off in an attempt to make his own liquor. He lives in a dank apartment with 5 cats and nightly watches documentaries about World War II too loudly. Burt is the manager of an appliance store and star of local television commercials. He obviously once had a power with the ladies but his mojo has dropped as old age and flab have set in. Rumors of mustache implants are possibly true, and referred to repeatedly.
Deneuve comes to town and makes a scene with her sexy behavior, drawing the ire of the prudish and squat women with forceful bangs and the attention of the older menfolks with montages of old skinny men starting to lift weights and buy new hats in an attempt to peacock. Apparently, she has left a rotten man in Paris who treated her wrong.
She senses that Burt is the pick of a slim litter and starts to seduce him, drawing jealous jabs from the other guys in town. Ridiculous fight scenes involves lots of men in big floppy winter hats slipping on ice and calling each other names like "hamneck" and "dinglescoop". In a twist, she enters the pickle store when the owner is out and is taken aback by the physique and perversion of Creed. Countless shots involving well-placed pickles occur.
Naturally, Creed and Burt come to words outside of the local Sizzler. Catherine intervenes, and reveals that, due to her having to flee a mean fellow, she is flat broke. A plan is made to rob the appliance store one town over, also giving Burt a competitive advantage. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say it's funny. Benson funny. In fact, Robert Guillaume makes a cameo.
In the end, we see a shot of Creed and Burt meeting back at the rendezvous point, bags of loot in their hands. Breathless and dressed in insane outfits, they both blurt "But where's Molie? I thought she was with you!" turn out their bags and discover nothing but salted fish. They realize they've been had, and then we freeze-frame over some greasy funk fueled harmonica playing.
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James Garner
Dabney Coleman
A return to the screen for Eminem
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Ooooo, this one is actually TOO good. I don't think I can do it justice.
Oh, I think you did. And then some.
Surely someone out there has a sterling idea for the Garner/Coleman/Mathers team.
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any movies really worth seeing out now? im in mood for movie but everything looks... lame..
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James Garner
Dabney Coleman
A return to the screen for Eminem
Marshall Mathers had reitred from the rap game and was enjoying a life of luxury, going so far as to sell his massive white t-shirt collection on eBay and remodel his home studio into a doggie day care center. But his peaceful existence is shattered by the return of a dangerous foe he thought was gone forever: his obsessed “biggest fan,” Stan. Turns out the rapper’s hit single was more autobiographical than he let on, and that the real Stan wasn’t actually in the car that went off the bridge at the end of the song. Instead, it was Stan’s brother Matthew, who was “an even bigger fan” of the rapper and thus had to be eliminated via the old brick-on-the-accelerator trick (NOTE: the authorities were never able to properly identify the bodies of Matthew or Stan’s girlfriend because gaseous pollution from a nearby power plant caused their bones to melt). Now Eminem once again finds himself on the receiving end of threatening letters like this one:
Dear Slim,
Writing a song about my story was in questionable taste
So I’m going to turn you into a form of edible paste.
I saw you last weekend at the Zach Galifianakis show
Now I’ll have to stab your atlantoaxialis lateralis slow
And so on.
Slim Shady becomes even more alarmed after hearing about the grizzly murder of Sir Elton John (James Garner, in a taut-yet-flamboyant cameo), with whom he performed “Stan” on the Grammy awards a few years ago. One night, in an elaborate set-piece, Elton is lured to a dinosaur museum where he believes he’ll be performing a benefit show for the Duke of Gloucester. Instead, he finds a hooded Stan waiting for him with a variety of crude but effective weapons fashioned from pterodactyl bones. An elaborate game of cat and mouse follows, culminating in Stan cornering Elton on the roof of the museum. Stan, whose face we never clearly see, pulls a gun and gravely intones “It’s only fitting that one dinosaur should kill another,” before shooting the skylight glass out from under Elton’s feet. The former Rocket Man plunges to the floor, where he’s impaled on a triceratops horn just before impact. Stan looks down at his well-predicted handiwork and spits out a terse “Goodbye English chode” before swiftly fleeing the scene.
Determined not to end up like Elton in any way, Eminem seeks out the one man he believes can help: Phil Collins (played by Dabney Coleman), whose song “In the Air Tonight” Eminem briefly referenced in “Stan” and who he becomes convinced is the disturbed fan’s next target. Having murdered a stalker in self-defense in the early 80’s (an incident which formed the basis of Genesis’ hit “Tonight, Tonight, Tonight,”) Collins is widely considered to be a grizzled, deadly expert in such matters. He reluctantly agrees to go along with Eminem’s plan to lure Stan to Collins’ mansion, knock him unconscious, pose him funny, and then call the authorities. While laying in wait in his office for Stan one fateful, stormy night, and with Eminem waiting in the next room, Collins absentmindedly fiddles with some unopened mail, until a certain suspicious envelope catches his eye. He slowly opens it and reads the letter inside, which is printed on Dr. Dre “Chronic 2001” stationary and reveals the movie’s shocking plot twist…
SPOILER
SPOILER
SPOILER
…that Eminem is actually Stan and always has been!!! The letter from Eminem unfurls the whole sick plot: that the stalker Phil murdered was Eminem’s real biological father (who Em repeatedly claimed he never knew); that the rapper’s entire career, the “In the Air Tonight” reference in “Stan,” and the Elton John murder were all just elaborate ploys to gain him access to the scene of his father’s murder (i.e. Phil’s house); that Matthew was actually Eminem’s brother and that Stan’s girlfriend who died was actually Eminem’s ex-wife Kim Mathers, who was later replaced in public appearances by a Russian-born look-a-like paid to go along with the ruse. A sheet-white Collins looks up to see Eminem standing behind him holding the instrumentthat killed his father: a self-defense drumstick with a retractable blade protruding from the thick end. Eminem maces Collins and rushes at him with the drumstick, but the English rocker instinctually dodges him and the blade becomes lodged in Collins’ desk. While Eminem struggles to free the drumstick from its temporary mahogany jail, a blinded Collins runs through the halls of his sprawling mansion in a desperate attempt to escape. As Eminem stalks him through the house, Collins must also endure the rapper’s newfound love of sinister quips, such as: “Hey Phil, since you can’t see anything does that mean you have an… invisible touch, har har?”
Thankfully, a diversion is provided during the melee by the sudden arrival of R&B singer Phillip Bailey, who dueted with Collins on the #1 hit “Easy Lover” in 1984. Bailey senses that Collins is in danger via some unspecified psychic ability, but almost immediately upon entering the house he’s stabbed with an axe that Eminem finds laying around. Collins, having regained sufficient eyesight, seizes this opportunity to sneak up behind Eminem, grab the drumstick, and stab him in the neck in the exact same spot where his father died. As Phil thrusts the blade deeper, he turns the tables on Eminem pun-wise and growls “I’m sending you to ‘another green world,’ which is also an album I played drums on,” just before dropping the rap superstar to the floor in a lifeless heap.
An exhausted Collins then collapses on the floor as we fade to black. When we fade back in, three months have passed and we see Phil sitting in his garden, soaking up sunshine as his maid brings him the mail. A particularly ominous envelope causes him to freeze, and as he slowly opens it we see the letter inside is printed on Dr. Dre “Chronic 2012” stationary. He drops the envelope to the ground and the camera pans in on the return address, which belongs to Eminem’s daughter, Hailie (NOTE: it’ll just say “Hailie,” and in the final cut we realized we didn’t explain that’s his daughter’s name, so I’m telling you now so you’ll know).
Alright, here's three more names:
Alejandro Jodorowsky
Tyra Banks
Dick Cavett
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I'd be very curious to see how James Garner and Dabney Coleman play short. And British.
Here's another take on the same trio: Eminem's mummy tells him that the man he always thought was his father is not and that he is in fact the by-product of a misguided threesome. Determined to confront his real papa, he tracks down the two male participants--played, of course, by Coleman and Garner--who are conveniently living in the same retirement community, where they have a "Grumpy Old Men" kind of relationship. Eminem gets a job as a handyman there, and hilarity ensues as he quizzes each geezer about his past, meeting with much crotchety resistance and many off-color reminiscences. Giving up on getting straight answers from either of them, he uses his access to the facilities to secure hair samples from the old coots' bathroom trash. Unfortunately, he manages to mix them up so that when he gets the results, he reveals all to the wrong man. Coleman (or Garner) is surprisingly thrilled to find out about his by-blow, but the excitement precipitates a heart attack. In the hospital, Eminem learns his supposed father's blood type and realizes that he could not be the man's son. Given his unfather's condition, he doesn't have the heart to explain the mistake, fearing the disappointment might lead to a final crisis. As he sits by the bedside, Garner (or Coleman) enters the room, heartbroken at the thought of losing his old friend/rival. The two settle down for a death watch. When the patient finally dies a touching death, his friend is devastated, having lost the only human being he cares about. Eminem reveals his true identity, and the surviving codger, overwhelmed with joy at the news that he's not alone in the world after all, has a fatal stroke. Eminem, having inadvertently caused the demise of both men, stares stonily into space. The end.
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Wow, these are both great. Once again Chris, you've picked some tough ones, so I'll have to think on this for a few...unless someone else wants to give it a shot!
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Let's revive this one, too, just to be redundant.
Here's an older trio:
Adolphe Menjou
Irene Handl
Dean Stockwell (as a child)