FOT Forum
The Best Show on WFMU => Show Discussion => Topic started by: daveB from Oakland on March 26, 2008, 10:36:27 PM
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I'm writing this post from my bedroom, and I'm drinking a beer after a hard day at work.
This topic has already seen some discussion under a thread called the ghoulish voice (http://www.friendsoftom.com/forum/index.php/topic,2136.0.html), but I thought last night's EXTENDED edition of "coffin talk" deserved it's own thread. I'm not necessarily saying I'd like to hear it again, but that was some amazing radio performance art.
You know how AC/DC essentially has only one song, but it's a really great song? The coffin talk show is sort of like that. Coffin talk is three chords and the truth. Or one chord and the funny. Or something like that.
I'm going to log on to gawker and see if anybody's spotted Jack Nicholson shopping for a coffin ...
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Tom got in the zone right there
draining radio 3's like a young Danny Ainge
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This topic is stupid. You should all shop for a coffin.
*sips a dumb beer*
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http://www.coffin-talk.net/
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Huh?
*pause*
What?
*longer pause*
You sound stupid.
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whatever. you all sound stupid.
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Last night's show was definitely not an F. :D
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. [youtube=425,350]gqTXRGSoDg4[/youtube]
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http://www.coffin-talk.net/
is based in Allenhurst, New Jersey.
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Who actually shops for their own coffin? That would be so depressing.
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Oh, I dunno - maybe with a little bit of a sunnier disposition, Mr. Sploops, it could be ...empowering.
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And now everything comes full circle to Hearse chat:
http://www.coffin-talk.net/viewtopic.php?t=1837&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 (http://www.coffin-talk.net/viewtopic.php?t=1837&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0)
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Anyone else thinking about the Simpsons episode where they go to get a free autopsy, and Bart gets trapped in a coffin, and there's a camera in the coffin, and so they watch him trying to get out. And then Homer asks if the display has picture-in-picture, and the coffin salesman says "Why of course, this is the Contempo".
No?
I need a life.
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There's a line in one of the Jim Jarmusch movies, the one about the accountant in the old west, uttered by one of the characters. He threatens someone with a gun (or something) and then says, "...or you're gonna be pushin' up daisies out of a pine box."
I love that line.
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y'know whut shuld be on the top of HIS bucket list?
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Coffin Talk is the new Party Zone.
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I'm listening to the podcast and cracking up at work. Bravo Tom for sticking with it so long.
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Bravo Tom for sticking with it so long.
Commitment!
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I laffed really fucking hard. Coffin talk was WAAAAAAAAY IN THE ZONE!
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Pay-per-view funeral Webcasts go live in Britain
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23898318/
Despite criticism of the scheme as macabre, the company who launched the service, Wesley Music, is planning to offer it to crematoria across the country who will charge a one-off payment of around $150 for access to a funeral Webcast.
Mourners use the password to access a live online broadcast of the funeral service captured by a small camera mounted in the chapel.
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Cremation is cheaper and better for the planet. Shopping for a coffin should shop for a coffin.
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My cold beer is colder than your cold beer. And I had a longer day than your stupid day. Your (probably not very) cold beer should go shop for a coffin.
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Malcolm X was tough, and I think maybe he knew a thing or two about coffin talk. I just ran across this quotation:
"Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery."
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And now everything comes full circle to Hearse chat:
http://www.coffin-talk.net/viewtopic.php?t=1837&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 (http://www.coffin-talk.net/viewtopic.php?t=1837&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0)
Let's resurrect hearse chat!
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/36sharps/1936104431/
(I can't find the URL for just the photo, but this is a hearse my friends and I used to see about town all the time. I think the drapes + license plate are a little pretentious, though--maybe it's time for the owner to start shopping for a coffin.)
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/36sharps/1936104431/
(I can't find the URL for just the photo, but this is a hearse my friends and I used to see about town all the time. I think the drapes + license plate are a little pretentious, though--maybe it's time for the owner to start shopping for a coffin.)
He's probably way ahead of you on that. Where do you think he sleeps?
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This is old news, but still:
(http://img292.imageshack.us/img292/1666/40502783coffinmanager47fk6.jpg)
Manager Fred Elsner, the friendly face of shopping for a coffin
Low-cost coffins hit Costco
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3991921.stm
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just cremate me.
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Cremation is cheaper and better for the planet. Shopping for a coffin should shop for a coffin.
That's not true. In the UK 16% of mercury emissions into the atmosphere are caused by cremation, its a lower percentage in the US where cremations are less common. All cremations really do is save space and deprive angsty teenagers of places to hang out.
Resomation is a green alternative to cremation.
http://www.resomation.com/
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Never heard of that before. Interesting. I'd still prefer to donate my corpse to the lobster bait joint next door, though. I also like what the Parsis do with their dead.
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I also like what the Parsis do with their dead.
Care to enlighten?
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This is old news, but still:
(http://img292.imageshack.us/img292/1666/40502783coffinmanager47fk6.jpg)
Manager Fred Elsner, the friendly face of shopping for a coffin
Low-cost coffins hit Costco
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3991921.stm
I don't envy that guy. When the time comes to shop for your coffin it should be a meaningful, poignant experience, but for him it'll probably seem like just another day at the store.
A keen understanding of human nature; that's what I bring to all my posts.
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Cremation is cheaper and better for the planet. Shopping for a coffin should shop for a coffin.
That's not true. In the UK 16% of mercury emissions into the atmosphere are caused by cremation, its a lower percentage in the US where cremations are less common. All cremations really do is save space and deprive angsty teenagers of places to hang out.
Resomation is a green alternative to cremation.
http://www.resomation.com/
Huh. I didn't know I had that much mercury in me!
I stand corrected.
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And now everything comes full circle to Hearse chat:
http://www.coffin-talk.net/viewtopic.php?t=1837&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 (http://www.coffin-talk.net/viewtopic.php?t=1837&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0)
Let's resurrect hearse chat!
If you want to relive the thrill of me fighting on the internet with a fourteen year old and his mother then here you go:
http://www.friendsoftom.com/board/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl?board=fotboard;action=display;num=1055389272 (http://www.friendsoftom.com/board/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl?board=fotboard;action=display;num=1055389272)
Good times.
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I also like what the Parsis do with their dead.
Care to enlighten?
There's a lot of ritual crapola, but what I like about the setup is that, to quote Wikipedia, "the bodies of the dead are placed atop a tower—a tower of silence—and so exposed to the sun and to birds of prey." Neat, efficient, and nutritious.
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If you want to relive the thrill of me fighting on the internet with a fourteen year old and his mother then here you go:
http://www.friendsoftom.com/board/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl?board=fotboard;action=display;num=1055389272 (http://www.friendsoftom.com/board/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl?board=fotboard;action=display;num=1055389272)
Good times.
Boy, you were an old fart in those days, weren't you, Stan o' mine? Indeed, the whole board was more of an old fart back then. I would have been banned in no time, I so easily veer off topic.
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There's a lot of ritual crapola, but what I like about the setup is that, to quote Wikipedia, "the bodies of the dead are placed atop a tower—a tower of silence—and so exposed to the sun and to birds of prey." Neat, efficient, and nutritious.
What I like about the Tibetan Sky Funeral is...
On the day of the funeral, a sky-funeral master arrives to carry the deceased body up to the burial ground, with friends and a lama following closely behind. The master rips open the body of the deceased, then calls for the vultures to devour it. The skeleton is hammered into pieces as finely as possible for the vultures to eat. Sometimes flour is added at the end to mix the bone with the flesh. At a good sky funeral the whole body (including the bones) are eaten by the vultures. This means that the deceased was a pure person. The skull is kept at the site.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tibetan_people#Life_cycles
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Much more labor-intensive.
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Cremation is cheaper and better for the planet. Shopping for a coffin should shop for a coffin.
That's not true. In the UK 16% of mercury emissions into the atmosphere are caused by cremation, its a lower percentage in the US where cremations are less common. All cremations really do is save space and deprive angsty teenagers of places to hang out.
Resomation is a green alternative to cremation.
http://www.resomation.com/
I'd actually consider being resomated if the process had a better-looking website.
At present, little compares to the glamor and flash of the process of plastination:
http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/plastination/plastination_process.html
***Hey, that trip down message board memory lane reminded me how strict it used to be! Like AST or something! Chris and Gord ran a tight ship back then, I tell you. No wonder I got all fogey-time when Fotchan first appeared!--But that exchange seemed stilted and weird. Has it been edited a lot or something??
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An interesting message arrived in my email inbox yesterday, entitled "The Most Common Mistakes When Writing Your Will."
Foremost among these mistakes, it went on to suggest, is not having a will in the first place. The implication is that you'd better start writing your will, and that reminded me of shopping for a coffin. If you're already tired of hearing that so-and-so better start shopping for a coffin, you can always state that he or she better start writing a will.
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***Hey, that trip down message board memory lane reminded me how strict it used to be! Like AST or something! Chris and Gord ran a tight ship back then, I tell you. No wonder I got all fogey-time when Fotchan first appeared!--But that exchange seemed stilted and weird. Has it been edited a lot or something??
As the old fogey in that exchange, I remember there being a lot more but bear in mind there was an administrator at the time who carried the nickname 'Petey Deletey'. Also things weren't all that strict about off topic stuff, the problem was the fourteen year olds were using the place like a chat room which, on a single board proved disasterous.
All in all, I'm still glad I was mean to that kid and his mom.
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You know who should have went shopping for a coffin last week?
Charlton Heston.
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You know who should have went shopping for a coffin last week?
Charlton Heston.
too soon
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*insert cold dead hands joke*
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Skybus went shopping for a coffin, too.
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*insert cold dead hands joke*
I've been resisting those all day.
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I found a new favorite message board. It's EXTREMELY unmoderated.
http://www.friendsoftom.com/board/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl?board=fotboard
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I found a new favorite blog:
http://bestshow.blogspot.com/
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I found a new favorite wiki:
http://www.friendsoftom.com/fotpedia/index.php?title=Main_Page
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I found a new radio station:
http://www.kfjc.org/
oh wait,
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I know the guy that was the original "Jack Nicholson" caller. Needless to say we're all getting a kick of having Tom make fun of his voice for such a long period of time.
"You sound like an idiot."
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I am just listening to the entire episode on headphones; is that Mike in the background? If so, I am surprised he survived the episode, he's laughing like a hyena at some bites, but way back in the background.
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In this instance, I think you're hearing Small Change, Dave. I thought you would be familiar with my laugh by now.
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In this instance, I think you're hearing Small Change, Dave. I thought you would be familiar with my laugh by now.
When I get to talk with you, Mike, for those fleeting but enchanted moments, you are ALL business.
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This sad guy took FOT advice to heart, shopped for a coffin.
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2009/02/20/story_20-2-2009_pg9_7 (http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2009/02/20/story_20-2-2009_pg9_7)
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Wow, I just read that article, Dave ... How unlucky do you have to be to not even manage to kill yourself WITH A GUN ... Now he's gotta walk around with a bullet path through his face.
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Wow, I just read that article, Dave ... How unlucky do you have to be to not even manage to kill yourself WITH A GUN ... Now he's gotta walk around with a bullet path through his face.
A work-study student assigned to my department shot himself in the head around 1994. He was introduced to me as Herman, but the second time I saw him, I misremembered his name and called him Howard. That became our little joke, I called him Howard whenever I saw him.
He was a terrific, almost bubbly kind of guy, a little older than your typical community college kid, right at 30. He had served 6-8 years in the military, and then decided he didn't want that as his career, so he was coming back to school. We later learned that he was on a couple of anti-depressants, and he got into mood-swing trouble at home occasionally when he started drinking. On two different nights, he found a gun.
No one suspected a thing. The first shooting did not kill him, and in fact, the only long-term effects were that he lost some movement on his right side, like a stroke victim, and had to walk with a cane, and that his speech became slightly slurred.
I went with a group of my teaching ladies to visit him in the hospital three or four days after his suicide attempt. His face looked mostly normal, despite the fact that it was swollen; he was restrained in the bed. They could not move him to the psych unit until they stabilized him physically.
His mother had asked us to come because she thought it might do him some good to see some friendly faces. It was not a surprise that we were coming, he had OK'd it after his mother suggested it to him.
When we walked in, his face kit up like a Christmas tree. He immediately launched into a round of jokes, saying something about being Superman, challenging us to survive a gunshot to the head, asking if he could make us copies. We stayed about 10 minutes. He never stopped chattering, mostly trying to make us laugh, stopping for long enough to very vaguely talk about what happened. But the whole time we were there, he never stopped smiling, just like at work.
Over the next couple of years, he got pretty mobile with his cane. He finished up the two year portion of his program with us and moved on to the University, where he was struggling with the material, but well-liked by his professors, and more or less on track to become a civil engineer.
Within a couple of years he was gone. There was a spilled bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor where they found him. The police weren't all that interested in finding out where the gun came from, but down here, firearms are as easy to find as buttermilk.
God bless "Howard" and his poor sweet Mom.
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Sorry, Dave, I hope I did not offend.
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Sorry, Dave, I hope I did not offend.
Steve, how could you offend me? I have nothing but affection for you. Sincerely!
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Sorry, Dave, I hope I did not offend.
Steve, how could you offend me? I have nothing but affection for you. Sincerely!
And I for you, Dave. I know you're probably busy with school stuff right now, but I always enjoy your calls. MORE DFK!!!