FOT Forum
The Best Show on WFMU => Show Discussion => Topic started by: masterofsparks on April 16, 2008, 09:13:56 AM
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We devote a lot of discussion to our favorite JW calls and sayings, but I’d like to mention a few of my favorite things Tom does during the show:
1. When someone calls with a song request and Tom promises to get it on the air, only to play “Heat of the Moment” or “Porcupine Pie” or something similar
2. When someone mistakes Tom for the call screener and tells what they’d like to talk to Tom about and Tom pretends to transfer them to wrong department after wrong department.
3. When Tom, in the middle of a call, adds echo to his voice (a modulator, maybe?) and poses as another caller.
What are your favorites?
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I like it when someone calls back, like Herbie last night and gets as far as:
"You hung up on me last ti..."
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The four-five fake topics he tosses out before announcing the real one.
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The four-five fake topics he tosses out before announcing the real one.
Hate Pit spin-offs
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I'm really enjoying his a-capella singing and scatting and whatnot. Last night's little medley towards the end of the show was fabulous.
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The four-five fake topics he tosses out before announcing the real one.
Hate Pit spin-offs
Yeah, I wasn't sure if it had become an established enough trend to mention, but it's made me laugh every time.
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When Tom disagrees with a caller and supports his argument by pretending to look it up on the internet (i.e. Shirley Jones wrote the Lottery, The Cubs beat the Yankees in the 2000 World Series).
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I doubt he does it on purpose, but I always laugh when this sequence of events happens:
1. A caller gets tom really riled up about something
2. The call ends.
3. Tom picks up another caller, who introduces him/herself and preambles their call a bit.
4. Tom's blood is still up, and he begins angrily finishing thoughts from the last call, and the current caller has to just hang on the line awkwardly and wait for Tom to cool down and redirect the conversation.
It's fun to hear how different callers handle it - some try to join in, some try to ignore it, some hang up, some hang on the line for minutes on end. It gets me every time.
When Tom disagrees with a caller and supports his argument by pretending to look it up on the internet (i.e. Shirley Jones wrote the Lottery, The Cubs beat the Yankees in the 2000 World Series).
This is unbelievably funny every time it happens. And it always seems to work!
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Lately, it's been when Tom James'd James. There's such satisfaction to it on so many levels, I love it.
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Lately, it's been when Tom James'd James. There's such satisfaction to it on so many levels, I love it.
Jamesing James during the otherwise DOA April Fools show might be my favorite best show moment ever. The show went from 0 rpm to 100000 rpm in 3 seconds. I literally almost had to pull my car over.
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Lately, it's been when Tom James'd James. There's such satisfaction to it on so many levels, I love it.
"Is this James? What's wrong with you, you sicko?"
i die every time
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I like it when someone calls back, like Herbie last night and gets as far as:
"You hung up on me last ti..."
Another version of that is when a caller says something like "You're gonna hang up on me, right?" and Tom denies it, then lets them talk for another few seconds. Then right when their guard is down, he hangs up. Not even a GOMP, just an unceremonious silence while he moves on to the next call. It's like poetry, only good.
Anytime a caller sets themselves up to be hung up on is my favorite moment of any show. Maybe it's hard to be that aware when you're on the phone, but as a listener I can practically see Tom's finger reaching for the button well in advance. But I'm powerless to stop it. I can only listen in amazement as the caller is foisted by their own petard.
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I like it when Tom makes it so that a caller can't hear him speak. The caller goes on some ridiculous spiel and Tom talks over them and makes fun of 'em and stuff.
A good recent example would be when Michael K. and Henry were going back-and-forth, and Tom said he might as well just leave and let them do the show. There's a better example that I can't remember right now; some caller went on a five-minute rant and Tom was letting him have it. It's wrong, but so funny.
Hopefully some of that made sense.
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I don't think he's done this recently, but I love hearing Tom talk to himself.
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I like "Mike's doing his own show out there" if Mike has any sort of conversation with a caller or laughs.
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I like "Mike's doing his own show out there" if Mike has any sort of conversation with a caller or laughs.
yeah..."Mike sounds furious!"
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I never get tired of the old Andy Milonakis gag. Especially since it still works 90% of the time no matter how nonsensical his role is.
Also, claiming that the current show that is going on will probably be the last show.
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"Which brings up to tonight's topic.. Tonight's topic is: if you had a giant spring who would you launch into outer space... NO THAT'S NOT THE TOPIC! The real topic is.. if you could shrink anyone down to an inch, who would that person be.. NO THAT'S NOT THE TOPIC!!"
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Anytime Tom makes up new stories that add to the mythology of Call Screener Mike. Mike's in no position to rebuke, so Tom can make claims that paint Mike as this total monster and you almost want to believe it.
Similarly when Tom uses Mike's name as substitute for his own thoughts. Like when Tom says "Mike says I got to move on", it really means "This call is dragging on too long. I want to hang up but don't want to be the bad guy".
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Asking to speak to a young caller's parents.
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When Tom says given 2 days/2 weeks doing any activity he can master it:
"I've never played chess in my entire life, but again I'll guarantee if I played chess for 2 days I would be winning awards...just like Fisher, what was her name? Bobbie Fisher."
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Scharpling staples:
Get off my phone!
How dare you!
Who are you, ______? What's this, a _______? and variations.
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"What are you, bragging a little bit?"
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I love whatever you would call the little sound Tom makes when he hangs up from a good call.
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I love whatever you would call the little sound Tom makes when he hangs up from a good call.
I think it used to be just a quick high pitched "bye". Over the years it devolved into "buh~" and by now it's just a cluster of indecipherable vowels.
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I love whatever you would call the little sound Tom makes when he hangs up from a good call.
I think it used to be just a quick high pitched "bye". Over the years it devolved into "buh~" and by now it's just a cluster of indecipherable vowels.
For the first few (well, several) months I was listening I thought that was some sort of cathartic sigh of relief that he hadn't just talked to some kind of mutant.
Here's an oldie-but-goodie: going over the songs he's just played and claiming that while some DJs might have played the song from a CD reissue/compilation, he only uses the super-rare limited-release original vinyl pressings worth hundreds/thousands of dollars.
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Oh ______, what are we going to do with you?
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When Tom pretends not to know what something is.
examples...
1: Yoga
2: "Fugazi, the limo company?"
3. Waterboarding
etc.
SOOO funny
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Claiming 'I played bass on this song'.
An oldie, but a goodie.
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More than once, a caller gets curious about the bed music (usually Trans Am or Ghostface). Paraphrasing:
CALLER: "What's this music? Who does this?"
TOM: "It's something I wrote and recorded myself. It's called 'Tom's Theme'."
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People call up and ask for Tom. Tom says "hold on" and then comes back with a silly voice.
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If Tom had a basketball move, it would probably be:
Fake left; fake right; fake left again twice; smash opponenet's face with basketball.
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When a call comes on and the caller's voice is pretty loud, and Tom reacts as if taken aback. (That's not a good description.)
Tom: WFMU, you're on the air
Caller: HI TOM
Tom: Ah!
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I like when Tom brags about doing something horrible. Like vandalizing bathrooms or walking out of a bowling alley with a bowling ball. It doesn't seem to come up all that often, but it's great when it does. It's a move that truly comes out of nowhere every time.
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My favorite Tom On-air Move has to be:
Caller: Hey Tom, can I request a track? Can you play _____, by _____?
Tom: And what instrument do you play in _____?
Caller: Oh, I'm not in the band. They're on the ______ label though.
Tom: Found it! Why don't you go ahead and announce it like you're the DJ.
Caller: This is ______, by _____ on the Best Show on WFMU
Tom then plays "Only Time Will Tell" or "Heat of the Moment" by Asia ... I'd hate it, if I didn't love "Only Time Will Tell" so much.
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"I thought it was ______. Wait, which one is _____ again?"
or
"I thought it was _____. Wait, what's the opposite of ______?"
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how could no one mention the best Tom move of them all:
"I don't like it......I LOVE it!"
I also like it when Tom acts like he's really Republican
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I like it when Tom makes it so that a caller can't hear him speak. The caller goes on some ridiculous spiel and Tom talks over them and makes fun of 'em and stuff.
YES!
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- guessing zip codes
- Hylan Boulevard
- and I'm your host of this week's installment of THE BEST SHOW
- made up neighborhoods in Brooklyn (Cocaine Heights) and related Brooklyn bashing
- the cranky "what?" after an egghead comment
- "uh huh uh huh i know yeah yeah", "i don't even want to know about that", "easy on that stuff", or "abupbupbupbupbupbupbupbupbup" when the caller starts to get preverted
- punching someone's nose down his throat
- "horrifying"
- asking anyone in the South about the Klan (also the variant when he asks Bonnie if she grew up in Georgia, or, as the natives call it, "N'awlins")
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Been awhile since he's done this, but when back-announcing the music he's played, he'll hesitate and pretend to stumble over the name of a huge major label and then give the mailing address and encourage you to write and ask for a catalog.
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When a call comes on and the caller's voice is pretty loud, and Tom reacts as if taken aback.
Often I don't think this as a move. Most of the time it seems like an honest reaction from wearing sensitive headphones and having the caller scream in his ear.
Another personal favorite...
When Tom welcomes us to this week's installment of the Best show titled "Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Murder!"
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Getting a caller to seemingly mispronounce something as many times as possible in a call. Both the "Mark & Mindy" and the "crum-bumper" calls this month have been great.
Letting someone get fired up on a pro-Best Show rant until they inevitably refer to the show with a "we" - causing Tom to cut in with a "Wait, what's this 'we' business?"
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Getting a caller to seemingly mispronounce something as many times as possible in a call. Both the "Mark & Mindy" and the "crum-bumper" calls this month have been great.
Letting someone get fired up on a pro-Best Show rant until they inevitably refer to the show with a "we" - causing Tom to cut in with a "Wait, what's this 'we' business?"
that was great! and Abraham... i love it when Tom messes with Abraham.
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Mirth, Music, and Mayhem.
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Another one he hasn't done in awhile, but I really liked the couple of times he interviewed "outsiders" (i.e. folks who don't know about the show) in a cheesy morning zoo-type voice. I remember this happening with a restaurant in PA that sells oversize handburgers, an author named Marsha Marks, and a woman who works at ElleGirl. The ElleGirl one was particularly interesting because the woman was a fan of the station and even claimed to have heard Tom's show before, so you can hear him struggling to decide whether to continue the ruse or not.
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"That's hot stuff, Jack."
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"Okay, run a line through that..."
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Asking children if they have to pick their own switch.
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Yelling at the chat.
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Initiating love-connections.
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Yelling at the chat.
Hahaha this always cracks me up!
I also like how he unwaveringly supports the decisions of our president.
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'Thumbs down, _______!'
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"Your kid was just on the radio, bragging about smoking pot."
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I like when Tom says "admittedly"
"Admittedly I was eating in a barn."
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"I thought it was ______. Wait, which one is _____ again?"
I've been doing this a lot lately, much to the grief of those near and dear to me.
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I like when Tom says "admittedly"
"Admittedly I was eating in a barn."
That is a classic quote, and I think it caused a Tom Laffs moment.
"I've been at places where they've offered salt. They had a salt lick, and the guy had a hunting knife. Admittedly, I was eating on a farm." - Tom, countering a caller who's enraged by waiters offering freshly-ground pepper
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I like when Tom says "admittedly"
"Admittedly I was eating in a barn."
That is a classic quote, and I think it caused a Tom Laffs moment.
"I've been at places where they've offered salt. They had a salt lick, and the guy had a hunting knife. Admittedly, I was eating on a farm." - Tom, countering a caller who's enraged by waiters offering freshly-ground pepper
you both beat me.
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Pretending to never know who Petey is when he calls.
Panera bread.
God's Green Herb.
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Answering the phone, hearing a dial tone, and repeating "Hello? Hello?" an absurd number of times.
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'The Isle of Staten.'
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Answering the phone, hearing a dial tone, and repeating "Hello? Hello?" an absurd number of times.
I love that!
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I like it when someone calls back, like Herbie last night and gets as far as:
"You hung up on me last ti..."
haha! can't believe i was foolish enough to do that. should have known better.
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Tom's fake promos for the next show are always great.
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The "Highland Blvd" voice that he does when people from Staten Island call the show.
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I'm really enjoying his a-capella singing and scatting and whatnot. Last night's little medley towards the end of the show was fabulous.
There was one improvised song about "The things I like to do..." that killed me. It had lines about eating sandwiches and going down the street "in my new sneakers"...etc. A hearing impaired caller had enlisted the help of a kind of operator service, and Tom was passing the time till it got set up. The caller ended up bailing, but that's beside the point.
I like it when Tom whispers stuff about Mike - stuff that Mike definitely hears. It always ends with "...he's so weird."
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Ughhh.. I don't even wanna know/talk about it.
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When he says something exaggerated, then immediately corrects himself. As in:
"I got a new table from Ikea, it's beautiful. It's not beautiful."
He did this last week but I forget what it was. Omah?
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Something about showering with that guy, but not WITH him. Forgive my lack of total recall, but it was along those lines.
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When the calls are dead and he starts griping about all the action the chat is getting
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When he explains how email works. He doesn't seem to do this anymore, but back in the day he went into a lot of detail all the time about the instantaneous nature of email and how it zipped through the wires.
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"That guy's running a little hot."
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It's also great when Tom reminds the listening audience that his High School nick name was 'Tommy Too-Cool'.
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A hearing impaired caller had enlisted the help of a kind of operator service, and Tom was passing the time till it got set up.
I still wonder if this was real or not. How could a hearing-impaired person listen to the show?
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A hearing impaired caller had enlisted the help of a kind of operator service, and Tom was passing the time till it got set up.
I still wonder if this was real or not. How could a hearing-impaired person listen to the show?
chances are, it was real. i used to be one of those operators and its possible that this person wasnt hearing impaired but speech impaired, in which they would need to enlist the help of the same phone operators the hearing-impaired do. or they have hearing problems in which they have to listen to TBS at high volumes, but the impairment makes phone calls difficult.
theres a number of possibilities.
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The way Tom asks, "Who's this?" when a person who hasn't identified themselves call.
I can only describe the way Tom says it as "slightly disgusted."
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I almost forgot---when Tom is talking about a less than quality movie, like Fred Clause, he'll say he tried to go see it in the theater over the weekend but it was sold out, sometimes throwing in a line about how much the scalpers were selling tickets for.
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When Tom has a good cry before starting the show and then rises like a phoenix from the ashes: "I can't...I can't do it...wah...waahahaaaaa--BEST SHOW'S BACK!!!"
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I like when Tom spontaneously bursts into that "Kids Today" song.
The first time I heard it, my mind exploded.
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I like when Tom spontaneously bursts into that "Kids Today" song.
The first time I heard it, my mind exploded.
I listened to the movie quotes show last night (sept. 25 2007 I think) and lost my shit when that part came up. I especially loved that right after the song ended, there was 5 seconds of silence..... then he answered the next phonecall without acknowledging it at all.
So great.
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I love the generic "writer" douchebag voice Tom uses whenever he reads an article from a magazine or newspaper.
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I like when Tom spontaneously bursts into that "Kids Today" song.
The first time I heard it, my mind exploded.
Remember the one time the woman on the line sang along? That just about killed me.
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"Bring me Pangaea, Mike, bring me Pangaea..."
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I love the generic "writer" douchebag voice Tom uses whenever he reads an article from a magazine or newspaper.
YES.
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Caller: "So, what's going on?"
Tom: "Oh, not much. Just doing a radio show."
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Whining, then psyching himself up for the show along to the scratchy record.
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I love it when Tom becomes suspicious of a caller within two seconds.
He gives them a wary "Okaaay, what can I do for you?", and then dumps them before they finish answering his question.
"I didn't trust that."
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I love it when Tom becomes suspicious of a caller within two seconds.
He gives them a wary "Okaaay, what can I do for you?", and then dumps them before they finish answering his question.
"I didn't trust that."
I remember there was a show a year or two ago where Tom GOMPed somebody in a situation like that, and then remarked that the call had raised all three of his secret personal red flags for a bad call, and then went on explain what those were. I remember one of them was when the caller doesn't say hi or anything and launches right into their spiel, which is usually the sign of fakery or schtick. I think the second one was hearing people laughing in the background. I forget what the third one was. It was funny, though.
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He didn't reveal the third one.
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when tom asks mike whether or not the next call is going to be good
as opposed to a loud, angry gomp, when tom just hangs up on somebody and calmly says "gooodbye".
anything rope-a-dope related. once you listen to it long enough you really do tune in to when tom is gonna absolutely hate a caller within like 3 seconds. i just love being able to tell when he's totally leading them on and setting up a gomp or whatever.
when tom talks about how hard the show is ("i got the weight of the world on my shoulders!" or "you think i wanted to come here tonight!? you think i wanted to be here!?")
i know it's been said, but i like "i don't like it.....i LOVE IT!"
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I like when Tom spontaneously bursts into that "Kids Today" song.
The first time I heard it, my mind exploded.
I listened to the movie quotes show last night (sept. 25 2007 I think) and lost my shit when that part came up. I especially loved that right after the song ended, there was 5 seconds of silence..... then he answered the next phonecall without acknowledging it at all.
So great.
That totally blew me away as well.
There was one from last fall or last summer? A caller from jersey city creeped out tom so he said 'By the way, if anyone is hanging around outside the studio after the show I'm wearing (i'm paraphrasing here) Blue jeans, a yellow shirt, sneakers and I answer to the name 'Mike.'"
killed me.
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When Tom has a good cry before starting the show and then rises like a phoenix from the ashes.
Wow, how allegorical! The best show IS like a phoenix, it just keeps coming back.
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When Tom has a good cry before starting the show and then rises like a phoenix from the ashes.
Wow, how allegorical! The best show IS like a phoenix, it just keeps coming back.
But doesn't that mean it's dead?
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When Tom has a good cry before starting the show and then rises like a phoenix from the ashes.
Wow, how allegorical! The best show IS like a phoenix, it just keeps coming back.
But doesn't that mean it's dead?
Undead. Why?
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i know it's been said, but i like "i don't like it.....i LOVE IT!"
"i don't like it.....i LOVE IT!"...? I don't like it.....I LOVE IT!
Thank God there's no ban on meta.
Oh wait
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When Tom has a good cry before starting the show and then rises like a phoenix from the ashes.
Wow, how allegorical! The best show IS like a phoenix, it just keeps coming back.
But doesn't that mean it's dead?
Undead. Why?
I guess the symbolic "death" here is when Tom feels that he's had a bad show and he can't keep going, but he always does. Renewal!
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Or the death of all our souls when the show is over at 11.
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I also like when they're talking about Werner (or maybe Rutager) and finish each other's sentences.
He looks like...
...Rutger Hauer
Except he's got that...
...Mustache.
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Talk...ing... out... the wooooords when heee types them...in...to search on the....inter...net
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I know it's only happened twice, but the Coffin Talk voice is priceless.
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Talk...ing... out... the wooooords when heee types them...in...to search on the....inter...net
oh! this reminds me that i love when he pretends to cross a topic off the list he's brought of things to talk about, but the topic (usually a rant) was obviously spontaneous.
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Talk...ing... out... the wooooords when heee types them...in...to search on the....inter...net
oh! this reminds me that i love when he pretends to cross a topic off the list he's brought of things to talk about, but the topic (usually a rant) was obviously spontaneous.
despite this, I've always gotten the impression he really does have a notebook full of things to talk about that he's crossing things out from.
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1. Tom singing along with Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway"
2. Tom railing against all Enemies of Tom, real or imaginary
3. "Porcupine Pie"
4. Tom challenging a caller as to the accuracy of a particular fact, insisting upon something that he knows is incorrect
More lately, it's been very amusing to hear Tom (falsely) ascribe some opinion to Mike that shows very poor taste in music/movies/etc.
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Talk...ing... out... the wooooords when heee types them...in...to search on the....inter...net
oh! this reminds me that i love when he pretends to cross a topic off the list he's brought of things to talk about, but the topic (usually a rant) was obviously spontaneous.
despite this, I've always gotten the impression he really does have a notebook full of things to talk about that he's crossing things out from.
i agree on both accounts. i believe he does pretend to cross off things on the list he REALLY has that aren't/weren't on the list. either way, he's got it together.
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"You enjoy the work of mister Robert Zombie, do you?"
I'm afraid that it's only a matter of time before Tom will be referring to "mister Frederick Durst".
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I worry a bit that this thread is ruining it for Tom. :'( Maybe it's just me, but if I were him and I were to read all this stuff, I'd feel like I was being put under a microscope a bit.
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I worry a bit that this thread is ruining it for Tom. :'( Maybe it's just me, but if I were him and I were to read all this stuff, I'd feel like I was being put under a microscope a bit.
As opposed to every other thread on this board? ;D
I do kinda know what you mean, but the board is called "Show Discussion."
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I worry a bit that this thread is ruining it for Tom. :'( Maybe it's just me, but if I were him and I were to read all this stuff, I'd feel like I was being put under a microscope a bit.
Ah, stop it. Tom loves this.
I like when Tom talks about being in the Panera Bread or some other chain store in order to do Show-related work (writing out the Best Show Awards in his notebook).
Tom almost chokes on his own words because the jokes and chuckles all come bubbling up at once on him. He's done this a million times, but I remember it recently when he was talking about Bee Movie. He begins a sentence and then thinks of something else, something better, and blurts that out. All through winded laughs. He can't wait to rip it.
I enjoy when August has called recent times and Tom has "tested" him on knowledge ONLY August would know because Tom doesn't believe this voice could really belong to "young August".
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So WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
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Nervous breakdown singalongs
See: January 21, 2003 -- 0:57:00
December 29, 2004 -- 1:40:05 (the most surreal radio experience I've ever had—sad and amazing)
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I don't think he's done this recently, but I love hearing Tom talk to himself.
"You're BETTER than them."
I also use "ease off the gas pedal" at least once a day.
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I know it's only happened twice, but the Coffin Talk voice is priceless.
i seriously hope that we haven't heard the last of coffin talk.
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I know it's only happened twice, but the Coffin Talk voice is priceless.
i seriously hope that we haven't heard the last of coffin talk.
Maybe that's the 3 minutes of bad radio that he was threatening last week.
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I know it's only happened twice, but the Coffin Talk voice is priceless.
i seriously hope that we haven't heard the last of coffin talk.
Maybe that's the 3 minutes of bad radio that he was threatening last week.
oh god i hope not.
coffin talk is painful when obnoxious people call in trying to be funny with it. otherwise, i enjoy coffin talk.
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"You enjoy the work of mister Robert Zombie, do you?"
I'm afraid that it's only a matter of time before Tom will be referring to "mister Frederick Durst".
MISTER FREDERICK DURST!!!!
I hear that in his voice and it is hilarious. You win Babyfeet.
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or maybe "mister andrew milonakis"
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When he threatens a caller with physical violence.
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"how dare you"
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"Really?"
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I just heard this one and it cracked me up ...
Tom bids adieu to a caller:
"Thank you _____, ... you did it! Good night" (click)
(1 second pause , then Tom sighs heavily and says ...)
"He didn't do it."
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I just heard this one and it cracked me up ...
Tom bids adieu to a caller:
"Thank you _____, ... you did it! Good night" (click)
(1 second pause , then Tom sighs heavily and says ...)
"He didn't do it."
That was in response to my call, and the source of your laughter is the source of my pain.
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Jon, I laughed hard when you said, "I'm all shaky!" It was so earnest. I loved it.
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Jon, I laughed hard when you said, "I'm all shaky!" It was so earnest. I loved it.
Thank you, Dorvid. I appreciate it. It's good to know someone got something out of it.
I will hit myself with a palm frond less vigorously.
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This thread has gotten so long I've forgotten if anyone's said this, but if they have, I'll just second/third/whatever it: I like when Tom actually sings some phrase instead of just saying it. The prime example is the "youuuu are creeeeee-py an' I'm hangin' up-on-you, BOING" bit from the opening, but I think I first really noticed it outside that context when listening to some show from a while back, where he actually sang (paraphrasing) "grinding this show to a halt" in this kind of whimsical Broadway musical cadence. It completely floored me and I couldn't stop laughing for some reason.
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This thread has gotten so long I've forgotten if anyone's said this, but if they have, I'll just second/third/whatever it: I like when Tom actually sings some phrase instead of just saying it. The prime example is the "youuuu are creeeeee-py an' I'm hangin' up-on-you, BOING" bit from the opening, but I think I first really noticed it outside that context when listening to some show from a while back, where he actually sang (paraphrasing) "grinding this show to a halt" in this kind of whimsical Broadway musical cadence. It completely floored me and I couldn't stop laughing for some reason.
"different strokes! for different folks! thank you for calling, Lauuuuuurie."
i have no idea when this was from or what it was about but it just kind of got lodged in my brain permanently.
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This thread has gotten so long I've forgotten if anyone's said this, but if they have, I'll just second/third/whatever it: I like when Tom actually sings some phrase instead of just saying it. The prime example is the "youuuu are creeeeee-py an' I'm hangin' up-on-you, BOING" bit from the opening, but I think I first really noticed it outside that context when listening to some show from a while back, where he actually sang (paraphrasing) "grinding this show to a halt" in this kind of whimsical Broadway musical cadence. It completely floored me and I couldn't stop laughing for some reason.
Yes! I enjoyed Tome singing the P.C. Richards theme, incorporating lyrics about stealing from P.C. Richards.
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errr...that was supposed to read "Tom"
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after my first ever call this past week (which, admittedly, was pretty horrible in retrospect) - i like how tom told me i was "top notch" before i hung up. can't tell you what a boost that gave to an otherwise rough day. the problem was i only called in that night and wasn't able to listen live, so when i pulled up the archive the next day and heard tom explain, after i had hung up, how truly "bottom notch" i was (he said it twice) - i gotta say it left me feeling pretty amused. i figure if it's funny when i hear him do it to someone else, it must be just as funny when the tables are turned on me.
i also like when he made the lady who liked the dylan movie a ghost.
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I feel your pain, Andrew in Philadelphia.
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I was quietly listening to some Best Show archives and this one killed me: "We just heard from the White Strips, and their album Get Behind me Stan."
He does this all the time but this one killed me. It was just so matter of fact.
7-05-2005
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this must've been before tom declared death to jack white. "i'll make you the red stripes - red with your blood" or some such.
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this must've been before tom declared death to jack white. "i'll make you the red stripes - red with your blood" or some such.
"I'll give you a red stripe. OF BLOOD. Across your forehead."
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I was quietly listening to some Best Show archives and this one killed me: "We just heard from the White Strips, and their album Get Behind me Stan."
He does this all the time but this one killed me. It was just so matter of fact.
7-05-2005
A fond memory, thanks yesno.
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this must've been before tom declared death to jack white. "i'll make you the red stripes - red with your blood" or some such.
"I'll give you a red stripe. OF BLOOD. Across your forehead."
When I heard all about the Jim Diamond thing I sided with Jack because it kinda stank of "you're famous, I'm not, gimme money and/or recognition". Is there some detail or another I missed? 'Cause Jim kinda lost that suit.
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Did it have to do with the Billy Childish/Jack White feud?
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When I heard all about the Jim Diamond thing I sided with Jack because it kinda stank of "you're famous, I'm not, gimme money and/or recognition". Is there some detail or another I missed? 'Cause Jim kinda lost that suit.
To be fair, he lost the case on statute of limitations, not due to any of his claims being rejected.
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Did it have to do with the Billy Childish/Jack White feud?
I only wish that would have turned into an honest to goodness feud.
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Did it have to do with the Billy Childish/Jack White feud?
I only wish that would have turned into an honest to goodness feud.
I like what I've heard of Billy Childish's stuff, but he apparently thinks that the White Stripes' alleged sounding like Led Zeppelin (and, ergo, Led Zeppelin themselves) is something to be ridiculed. I do not agree.
Actually, angry garage rock revivalists in general kinda creep me out. Tim Warren especially.
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"I'll give you a red stripe. OF BLOOD. Across your forehead. farhead."
fixed
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I love it when a caller goes into a long and detailed story, Tom starts pressing the caller for more insignificant details. Usually, the caller is so wrapped up in their story, they don't notice that Tom is poking fun at them.
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I love it when a caller goes into a long and detailed story, Tom starts pressing the caller for more insignificant details. Usually, the caller is so wrapped up in their story, they don't notice that Tom is poking fun at them.
A classic example of this is not-the-Andrew from Philadelphia's story about packing for his camping trip during the 5/20 show, especially:
"Andrew is still packing, a (seemingly-epic) task that required 40 trips up and down the stairs. Tom requests some additional details about each of these trips. Andrew says he was just carting a bunch of camping gear."
I loved the fact that someone declined to provide boring details about something boring that Tom jokingly wanted to hear more about. However, Andrew did come through with a very good ending -- the two crazies circling him in prayer to rid him of germaphobia.
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"More noodles than the Ronzoni factory." 6/10/03
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I love how Tom calls something "sick" in this Bob Grant way when referring to something that annoys him.
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"ra na na na na na, BOING!"
He hasn't done that in awhile, and he may have only done it once, but it was hilarious.
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i didn't read most of this thread, but just in case it hasn't been brought up yet.
1. When Tom gets extra "righteous" and talks about stuff being filthy toilet stuff.
2. Tom's "fake ignorance". Naming movies and albums and bands and stuff wrong and misquoting stuff. or pretending to have never heard of something.
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I like...
Laurie: Hi, this is Laurie.
Tom: From?
Both: Miami.
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2. Tom's "fake ignorance". Naming movies and albums and bands and stuff wrong and misquoting stuff. or pretending to have never heard of something.
Yeah, I love when he mispronounces the names of famous and well-known bands. Like "Jim E. Hendrix". Or the "White Strips". I'm sure there's many other examples, but that's what comes to mind right now.
Speaking of the Whitestrips, it seems that Tom used to be a proponent of them and then turned against them at some point. More specifically, I recall him recently speaking of Jack White in hate-pittish terms (if not actually throwing him in). Where did Tom turn against Jack White? Was it when JackWhite punched out that other dude from that other Detroit band? Or was it just for general accumulated creepiness?
Personally, I think the Whitestrips have some awesome songs, but I find it hard to sit thru an entire album. The accumulated creepiness of Mr. White's vocal affectations get to be a little much over the course of an ElPee or CeeDee or FlashDrive or WaxCylinder or whatever.
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I think Tom was let down by a whiny multi-millionaire who wouldn't kick back a measly few bucks to some of the
producers in Detroit who helped the band form their sound (and probably got paid $500 for all their hard work at the time). The fact that Jack White didn't
give any points to Jim Diamond for the first two records is just a straight up dick move.
Jerk White.
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There would be no Jack White without Mick Collins. I've told Collins this, and he doesn't disagree.
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Is it still OK for me to like the White Stripes if I promise not to like the Raconteurs?
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There would be no Jack White without Mick Collins. I've told Collins this, and he doesn't disagree.
yup.
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Is it still OK for me to like the White Stripes if I promise not to like the Raconteurs?
i'd say vice versa, dfk
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I love it when a caller goes into a long and detailed story, Tom starts pressing the caller for more insignificant details. Usually, the caller is so wrapped up in their story, they don't notice that Tom is poking fun at them.
A classic example of this is not-the-Andrew from Philadelphia's story about packing for his camping trip during the 5/20 show, especially:
"Andrew is still packing, a (seemingly-epic) task that required 40 trips up and down the stairs. Tom requests some additional details about each of these trips. Andrew says he was just carting a bunch of camping gear."
I loved the fact that someone declined to provide boring details about something boring that Tom jokingly wanted to hear more about. However, Andrew did come through with a very good ending -- the two crazies circling him in prayer to rid him of germaphobia.
that call was a disaster. i was so nervous, which always equals me transforming into captain windbag. i couldn't even listen to it - had to skip over it on the podcast. it was a funny recap though. great, actually. always.
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I've always appreciated the disclaimer "It's hard to find things you like in this world..." You don't get that kind of thing on other radio shows.
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I like when Tom asks the caller "right?" Because it usually follows some weird thing, and not a concept that can be agreed with.
A lot of callers either ignore it or miss it, but the best is when he asks a second time: "right?"
Speaking of, say, the monkeys in Indiana Jones:
Tom: Those monkeys, right?
Caller:...
Tom:....right? The monkeys?
Like, what does the caller say, "Right, the monkeys"
....I love it.
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i didn't read most of this thread, but just in case it hasn't been brought up yet.
1. When Tom gets extra "righteous" and talks about stuff being filthy toilet stuff.
2. Tom's "fake ignorance". Naming movies and albums and bands and stuff wrong and misquoting stuff. or pretending to have never heard of something.
i enjoyed the ignorance card this week, especially since Tom had that creep in his car buying the dvds he posted on craigslist/gregslist.
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Tom imaging Spike's method of travel being that of Waldo Jeffers in VU's "The Gift", and then he started "singing" the song - that killed me.
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Yeah, I love when he mispronounces the names of famous and well-known bands. Like "Jim E. Hendrix". Or the "White Strips". I'm sure there's many other examples, but that's what comes to mind right now.
I was quite disappointed to find that there was no such artist as "Jim E. Hendrix". I'm not sure what I thought it was going to be but it took a while for me to accept the fact that I wasn't going to find anything under that name.
Along those same lines I remember:
Caller: (Something about) Superchunk.
Tom: What is it? Supertongue?
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Has anyone mentioned when Tom says "I'm sorry" after a caller says where they are from? I'm pretty sure that on more than one occasion this has driven callers to either hang up immediately or get offended and attempt to engage Tom.
I'm from Houston, so undoubtedly this would happen to me if I were to call.
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It doesn't happen that often, but occasionally Tom will call someone a pet name while saying goodbye. It always throws me for a loop, especially since he only seems to do it to guys.
Stuff like, "Bye, darling" or "thanks, Sweetheart."
The first time I heard it happen, my girlfriend and I looked at each other and she said, "Do you think he called him that by mistake?"
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I love it when Tom does that. "Honey" is another one he uses.
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can someone link me to the call where tom sings "the gift"?
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Isn't "The Gift" more of a recitation?
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I'm from Houston, so undoubtedly this would happen to me if I were to call.
i'm from houston, too! high? five?
wait i guess i should say i grew up in houston. i haven't lived there in... 12 years.
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can someone link me to the call where tom sings "the gift"?
It was like two episodes ago, where Tom suggested that Spike's method of travel was through the mail in a cardboard box ala Waldo Jeffers. That killed me. ;D
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It's only a little thing, but for some reason I always like when Tom announces himself as the host of "tonight's installment." It just adds an element of unpredictability to the only entirely predictable thing about the show.
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can someone link me to the call where tom sings "the gift"?
It was like two episodes ago, where Tom suggested that Spike's method of travel was through the mail in a cardboard box ala Waldo Jeffers. That killed me. ;D
YES! This was hilarious. But did he actually sing part of The Gift? I might have depodded at that moment.
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can someone link me to the call where tom sings "the gift"?
It was like two episodes ago, where Tom suggested that Spike's method of travel was through the mail in a cardboard box ala Waldo Jeffers. That killed me. ;D
YES! This was hilarious. But did he actually sing part of The Gift? I might have depodded at that moment.
He sort of "hummed" part of the "melody." You wouldn't have really been able to tell what it was without his identifying it.
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Tom replying to a caller when they ask him how he is doing. High pitched---"I'm alright" Get's me every time
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The really enthusiastic-sounding "Who's this?!"
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Good lord what's next, you like the way Tom breathes? Enough already with the microscope.
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I have been listening to the archives, and I like on the old episodes, when someone would compliment the show and he would say thanks, in almost a sarcastic tone.
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Good lord what's next, you like the way Tom breathes? Enough already with the microscope.
Ha, that's so funny, I love the way Tom breathes! Especially exhales.
Inhales are also good - i would take an inhale over no breathing at all.
-Ajax
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Good lord what's next, you like the way Tom breathes? Enough already with the microscope.
Oh god, deal with it already.
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It's not too audible but I like hearing his pen/pencil drop/get thrown at the table when he's done writing something down that makes him angry.
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"Huh!"
The impressed and interested "well there you go!" sound he makes.
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Good lord what's next, you like the way Tom breathes? Enough already with the microscope.
I don't think microscopes are very useful in tracking breath patterns.
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"fair enough"
Sorry, Dania, to reinsert this thorn in your side.
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I'm liking the new tier of "quality callers" that's forming right below the power callers.
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My favorite Tom On-Air move is when he allows me to stay on the line until the call reaches an agreeable conclusion.
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I'm liking the new tier of "quality callers" that's forming right below the power callers.
Please, "quality callers" are neither above or below power callers. We walk side by side!
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There are other "moves" I like more, but I believe they have already been exhaustively cataloged, so I will instead contribute Tom asking someone like Spike or Julie "Now, what does a Spike do for Christmas". It seems that he'll only phrase his questions this way for people like them, suggesting that his interest is more like that of an anthropologist than genuine curiosity, and that amuses me greatly. I would have thought it impossible to make the inclusion of an article into a joke, but evidently it is not.
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Tom telling everyone to listen to the bed music when he has to do something off mic.
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when Tom gets so exasperated that he runs out of breath, like when he did the topic "hot streak, cold streak" and jason called in the best show=hot streak.
Tom: yes! ive been waiting for someone to say that. why do you think i even did this stupid topic?!
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I am so in the flesh right now.
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I like Tom's "go to" move where he calls the Mike show.
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from 12.12.06...
to the tune of 'byyyy mennen'
'you'rrrrre rascist!'
made me lose it!!!
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I appreciate it a lot when Tom whimpers over the opening theme in a caricature of a big baby. There is something truly funny and cathartic about hearing someone else who also really, really does not want to start something that is a part of their weekly routine.
I think John Hodgman nailed it when he said Scharpling was "the voice of aggrievement."
SIDE NOTE: How many of you also repeat things like "It's Obama Time!" or "Splash some cold water on your face!" in your head to get motivated? I know I do.
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When Tom has a good cry before starting the show and then rises like a phoenix from the ashes: "I can't...I can't do it...wah...waahahaaaaa--BEST SHOW'S BACK!!!"
This is what I was talking about.
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I appreciate it a lot when Tom whimpers over the opening theme in a caricature of a big baby. There is something truly funny and cathartic about hearing someone else who also really, really does not want to start something that is a part of their weekly routine.
I think John Hodgman nailed it when he said Scharpling was "the voice of aggrievement."
SIDE NOTE: How many of you also repeat things like "It's Obama Time!" or "Splash some cold water on your face!" in your head to get motivated? I know I do.
i have to tell myself that, yes. and i yell it (lacking all sympathy) when friends/acquaintances want to lay in the street, defeated.
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I always love when Tom GOMPS somebody he likes, immediately feels remorse and then stands up for them with a "Look he is a really good guy and all but.."
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I always love when Tom GOMPS somebody he likes, immediately feels remorse and then stands up for them with a "Look he is a really good guy and all but.."
Or he GOMPs someone for very little reason, just because he thinks it'll be funny to do it at that moment, then says, "Wait, why did I do that?"
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I always love when Tom GOMPS somebody he likes, immediately feels remorse and then stands up for them with a "Look he is a really good guy and all but.."
Or he GOMPs someone for very little reason, just because he thinks it'll be funny to do it at that moment, then says, "Wait, why did I do that?"
Also: wrong place/wrong time GOMPs-by-proxy. (Of which I have been a victim.)
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As a relatively new listener, I still die every time Tom drops a "Heave ho!" or a "Get off my phone!" Every time he whispers about AP Mike is genius ("Seriously, I gotta get outta here. If anybody wants to screen calls, seriously, anybody at all....this guy's crazy").
I started to drive my wife crazy after the first few shows I listened to because I kept saying, "Oh, boy" and "Oh, brother" like Tom, constantly.
His demolition of Spike lately has been incredible. "Let's get this over with. Hellooooo, Sharpling..."
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when Tom describes what Evan "Funk" Davies will have on in his show: that part is always just terrific.
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SIDE NOTE: How many of you also repeat things like "It's Obama Time!" or "Splash some cold water on your face!" in your head to get motivated? I know I do.
Whenever work or work superiors are crushing me, I say "I should be home reading a comic book."
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SIDE NOTE: How many of you also repeat things like "It's Obama Time!" or "Splash some cold water on your face!" in your head to get motivated? I know I do.
Whenever work or work superiors are crushing me, I say "I should be home reading a comic book."
Next time try this; "Maybe you should shop for a coffin."
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from 12.12.06...
to the tune of 'byyyy mennen'
'you'rrrrre rascist!'
made me lose it!!!
+1
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Don't know if it's been mentioned, but I love it when he is riffing with someone and then he turns on them and says something like "You just made that up, Heave ho!"