FOT Forum
FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: erika on May 06, 2008, 11:32:53 AM
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It is not OK for you to ask me to pay 200+ dollars to attend your bachelorette party. You are my good friend, and I want so badly not to disappoint you, but your party plans have put me in a position where I have to be a pooper and sit this one out.
The day-trip sounds like a LOT of fun, but I wonder if we couldn't have as much fun in a manner that does not involve driving 5 hours down Rt. 95 on a Saturday in August to go to an amusement park and stay in a "spa" hotel for an evening.
And yes, I realize that "you" are not in control of this situation, as your bridesmaids have taken it upon themselves to plan the party as etiquette dictates. But you could have set a price limit of, say, a hundred dollars? Or maybe even less, considering that in the 10 years I've known you, you've never had more than 20 dollars to spend in an evening.
Let's go out for a night on the town! A nice, reasonable, night on the town. It'll be fun!!
And I won't have to save up for it for weeks beforehand.
I love you! Have fun at your party!
Erika
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FOTchan thread
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What does that mean? It's dumb?
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You said it, not me. ;)
Amusement park? I have an idea for the bridal gift:
(http://www.costore.com/productimages/380886E.jpg)
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Ohhh ok. I get it. Thanks!
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Marriage seems so 19th century
why are we as humans still doing it?
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Marriage seems so 19th century
Why?
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Well, there are legal, social and economic benefits to marriage.
But weddings? Weddings are hideous. If you haven't yet experienced perfectly reasonable people going insane around wedding-time, count yourself lucky. But it will happen to you. And when you don't want to participate in the madness, everyone will think that you're being the psycho.
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I abstained from my own brother's bachelor party because it would've cost me like $500. I would've had to take a plane to Colorado to stay in a cabin for four days with a bunch of his friends. It would've been fun, but it was like 2 or 3 weeks before his wedding in New York, which I had to fly to as well, so it was like "Sorry my beloved brother, but I must sit out on your bachelor party."
Creepiest bachelor party I've ever been to:
Strip club in a converted warehouse in Philly, where they had no liquor license, so you'd bring in a case of beer, but you had to give it to a bartender who'd keep your case behind the bar and hand you your own beer on request. People also had pizza delivered to this place.
Most bachelor party bachelor party:
Vegas.
Worst bachelor party:
Went to a fucking Dave & Busters. Dave and Busters is an arcade with a bar. It's essentially a Chuck E. Cheese for adults. Except that it's still for children anyway, of course. We went to the smoking patio and everyone looked like they were 17 years old.
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Worst bachelor party:
Went to a fucking Dave & Busters. Dave and Busters is an arcade with a bar. It's essentially a Chuck E. Cheese for adults. Except that it's still for children anyway, of course. We went to the smoking patio and everyone looked like they were 17 years old.
Don't forget the shuffleboard tables. You mustn't ever forget the shuffleboard tables.
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I love you! Have fun at your party!
Erika
Thanks, Erika. The girls and I will miss you.
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Well, there are legal, social and economic benefits to marriage.
But weddings? Weddings are hideous. If you haven't yet experienced perfectly reasonable people going insane around wedding-time, count yourself lucky. But it will happen to you. And when you don't want to participate in the madness, everyone will think that you're being the psycho.
true story
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so you can't just live together and get the same effect?
(tell it to me like I'm a 5 year old)
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so you can't just live together and get the same effect?
(tell it to me like I'm a 5 year old)
Here's an example from my real life: My wife and I moved to England shortly after we were married. She had a student visa, and because we were married I was entitled to work, without restrictions. We met another couple in a similar situation, but who were unmarried, and therefore hubby could only work in the industry that he was trained in: glass-blowing. And because (for zoning reasons) there were no glassworks (If that's what they're called) allowed in Oxford, he had to commute to London to work. To save money and time on the commute, he wound up sleeping in the stairwell of the factory he worked in!
So - Marriage:1, Common-law:0
Also, if you're planning on having kids, marriage is a tidy way to express long-term commitment, and establish legal rights and responsibilities w/r/t the children.
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Go to the damn parties people, no matter how much they cost. ::)
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Go to the damn parties people, no matter how much they cost. ::)
right on...erika, sounds like someones got your back on that $200+ party fee.
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Ha! Don't get me wrong, I want a nice, semi-formal wedding someday. I want fancy finger foods and a big chocolate cake with the design of my choice on it. And a pretty white dress and bridesmaids in red dresses, and blah blah blah.
But I won't get all caught up in wedding "etiquitte" about what a bride can and can't plan, and I will NOT ask people to spend hundreds of dollars on one night on my behalf. I couldn't have fun knowing that's what they were doing...
My father, on the other hand, can spend some $$ on the event and that's ok ;) Cuz he's my Doddy.
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I won't get all caught up in wedding "etiquitte" about what a bride can and can't plan, and I will NOT ask people to spend hundreds of dollars on one night on my behalf. I couldn't have fun knowing that's what they were doing...
From my experience, the biggest problem is OTHER people spending all their energy on telling you what you can and can't do. Seriously, if you want to experience everyone getting up in your stuff about everything that is none of their business (and that they are probably not even going to pay for), get married.
And skip the finger foods - they're the biggest markup.
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I won't get all caught up in wedding "etiquitte" about what a bride can and can't plan, and I will NOT ask people to spend hundreds of dollars on one night on my behalf. I couldn't have fun knowing that's what they were doing...
From my experience, the biggest problem is OTHER people spending all their energy on telling you what you can and can't do. Seriously, if you want to experience everyone getting up in your stuff about everything that is none of their business (and that they are probably not even going to pay for), get married.
And skip the finger foods - they're the biggest markup.
Skip the finger foods?!?! What? No, no, that won't do at all.
Skip the flowers first, don't hire a wedding photographer - you'll have enough creative friends snapping pictures, and dial down on the entree. The food at the cocktail hour is the most important food. Senor is right though about "Other people." Mothers of both sides in particular seem to relish the opportunity to hyper-plan these things.
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so you can't just live together and get the same effect?
(tell it to me like I'm a 5 year old)
Here's an example from my real life: My wife and I moved to England shortly after we were married. She had a student visa, and because we were married I was entitled to work, without restrictions. We met another couple in a similar situation, but who were unmarried, and therefore hubby could only work in the industry that he was trained in: glass-blowing. And because (for zoning reasons) there were no glassworks (If that's what they're called) allowed in Oxford, he had to commute to London to work. To save money and time on the commute, he wound up sleeping in the stairwell of the factory he worked in!
So - Marriage:1, Common-law:0
Also, if you're planning on having kids, marriage is a tidy way to express long-term commitment, and establish legal rights and responsibilities w/r/t the children.
ok.
It would be great if government could work out something similar to the civil unions gay people have but for breeders.
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ugh...i see this going south fast.
im outta here.
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I'm with you, TremblingEagle.
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I'm with you, TremblingEagle.
Thankyou
it just seems odd to me in this age when we have the internet
we have people dressing up in costumes, grown educated women being "presented" by their fathers
to some guy....and the ring and all that. Why not a barn raising and a witch trail to round it out?
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I'm with you, TremblingEagle.
Thankyou
it just seems odd to me in this age when we have the internet
we have people dressing up in costumes, grown educated women being "presented" by their fathers
to some guy....and the ring and all that. Why not a barn raising and a witch trail to round it out?
I like your posts a lot Eagle, but, with all due respect, you're all over the place. You knock marriages, then wedding ceremonies (two completely different things) and then take a shot at parents -- "breeders"? And I have no idea what you meant about the civil unions for gays.
I do agree with you though that the internet is evil.
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I don't see what's so offensive about marriage...
If you've got some hangup about the ceremony, just go to a courthouse and get a certificate. It's the same thing as a civil union, yes? Just a piece of paper that can be anulled or whatev.
You could even get yourself a patriotic gown for the occasion:
(http://tristero.blogspot.com/Pictures/somethingspecial1.jpg)
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I'm with you, TremblingEagle.
Thankyou
it just seems odd to me in this age when we have the internet
we have people dressing up in costumes, grown educated women being "presented" by their fathers
to some guy....and the ring and all that. Why not a barn raising and a witch trail to round it out?
I like your posts a lot Eagle, but, with all due respect, you're all over the place. You knock marriages, then wedding ceremonies (two completely different things) and then take a shot at parents -- "breeders"? And I have no idea what you meant about the civil unions for gays.
I do agree with you though that the internet is evil.
I'm just blowing off steam
I don't mean any of it
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I'm with you, TremblingEagle.
Thankyou
it just seems odd to me in this age when we have the internet
we have people dressing up in costumes, grown educated women being "presented" by their fathers
to some guy....and the ring and all that. Why not a barn raising and a witch trail to round it out?
I like your posts a lot Eagle, but, with all due respect, you're all over the place. You knock marriages, then wedding ceremonies (two completely different things) and then take a shot at parents -- "breeders"? And I have no idea what you meant about the civil unions for gays.
I do agree with you though that the internet is evil.
I'm just blowing off steam
I don't mean any of it
FOTchan thread
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FOTchan thread
Dear Brides to Be: Fuck you, fatties.
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Dialing it up a notch in 2008.
fixed, you obophobe
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Dialing it up a notch in 2008.
fixed
Just imagine when Junk gets to be my age. Look out, world!
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I know! It's sort of awe-inspiring.
By the way, I think in FOTchan my post saying I agreed with TremblingEagle on the subject of marriage would have been answered at some point by someone saying, "Let me guess--you're single, right?" At which point, if I were in the mood, I would have acknowledged the accuracy of the guess and perhaps gone on to explain laboriously why that didn't make my point of view invalid. Fun for everyone, right?
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I know! It's sort of awe-inspiring.
I've got the novel based on his senior years all worked out.
"A Piece Of Land And A Shotgun: One Man's Journey"
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Creepiest bachelor party I've ever been to:
Strip club in a converted warehouse in Philly, where they had no liquor license, so you'd bring in a case of beer, but you had to give it to a bartender who'd keep your case behind the bar and hand you your own beer on request. People also had pizza delivered to this place.
yeah, "daydreams." was there only once for a bachelor party a couple of years ago. that place was maybe too intense - like being drunk in a casino (as in: very disorienting..) also saw people chowing down on food there - which is, um.. unsettling? what a weird place..
don't think i've ever been to a bach party for any friend that cost me more than $50 - which is decent and reasonable. anything higher is kind of an imposition i think. not everyone has tons of cash to throw around on these things.
as for weddings themselves - it's a little creepy how worked up people get over those things - and even more obscene how much dough people plunk down for them. we did ours on the cheap - and did just about everything ourselves. told people to wear jeans and not to get dressed up (the only ones who were was me and the wife,) got a friend to act as photog, my uncle jackie rolled up his sleeves to tend bar when things got hectic, made a bunch of the food ourselves, and i, much to my delight, got to pick all the music played. it might have been the 1st time anyone ever used pavement's "here" as a wedding slow song - or played alice cooper's "raped and freezin'" during cocktail hour. 'twas nice..
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??? I don't understand how a person could expect to spend less than 50 dollars... An average night on the town costs almost as much as that in the big city. Factor in other typical bachelor party events, the fact that the bachelor won't be paying for anything and maybe dinner and a taxicab (might as well just rent out a few hotel rooms instead of getting a taxi all over the place) and you're well over 50 dollars. It's the nature of the game. Most of the time you know well in advance that the bachelor party will be taking place so there is plenty of time to plan accordingly. Assuming 50 dollars is not planning accordingly.
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I love a good wedding, as long as it's not my own...! THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT
Seriously though, I love weddings. What's not to like? At least if you're a guest with no responsibilities like holding a speech (I spoke, and DJed, at my sister's wedding). Ideally, and I've found this to be the case with all weddings I've attended, it's a declaration of love between two people you probably know and like, there's awesome food, plenty of booze, lots of happy people, lots of music (sometimes shitty, sometimes not). And it's often in the summer. Maybe I've just been lucky.
The whole ceremonial aspects of weddings, that's a whole other can of worms. I see TremblingEagle's POV. I'm not a religious guy at all, so I prefer a non-religious ceremony, but whatever rocks that particular couple's boat.
As for bachelor parties, I could tell you some stories that will make you want to murder every human being in the world.
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I know! It's sort of awe-inspiring.
By the way, I think in FOTchan my post saying I agreed with TremblingEagle on the subject of marriage would have been answered at some point by someone saying, "Let me guess--you're single, right?" At which point, if I were in the mood, I would have acknowledged the accuracy of the guess and perhaps gone on to explain laboriously why that didn't make my point of view invalid. Fun for everyone, right?
but you're single, right?
anyway, here's some random crap because I am so happy to have the world wide web back.
!) the parties have gotten out of control
2) best bachelor party- my camping trip, worst- my buddies shotgun wedding b.p. at a strip club where you had to bring in your own beer (and we were all underage so we snuck it in in apple juice containers. we were so slick)
3) nobody likes weddings, so make them laid back. we had mexican food, no speeches/dances/garter toss/etc... it was fun, but it was still a TON of work. Too much, in fact.