FOT Forum
FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: yesno on June 06, 2008, 09:39:12 AM
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I'm thinking, referring to someone who helped you with something very dry and square as your "partner in crime."
I was just going through a transcript of a government meeting where one fellow referred to another fellow who helped him prepare a certain draft advisory report as his partner in crime. What? A crime against interestingness? A crime against good writing?
It's sort of in the same family as referring to your office as "crazy."
Any other ideas?
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Totally tubular.
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When someone is up against the ropes for being racist, and they announce that they "don't care if you're white, black, yellow or purple!"
Also, "up against the ropes".
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"douche(bag)" has gone from a fantastic break-glass-in-case-of-emergency slam against a person exhibiting an exquisitely rare level of smarminess to an all-purpose "I don't like him and he is a little arrogant" insult that's losing its impact from overuse. The "factory-wrapped" variation Tom used was legit funny, but that was also several years ago.
I also hate "fucktard". Not the most creative portmanteau if you ask me. It tends to evoke cheeto-fingered IT guys arguing with messageboard nerds about why they're wrong for liking Full Metal Alchemist or something.
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'monetize'
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a lady at work uses the expression 'schweet' almost everyday and how lame it is just grates on my nerves. my boss also likes to start confidential conversations with 'between you, me and the wall...'.
i tend to inappropriately say 'exactly!' a little too much in conversation when i agree with someone.
and in a similar vein, when someone says 'thank you!' in response to an opinion.
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When someone is up against the ropes for being racist, and they announce that they "don't care if you're white, black, yellow or purple!"
This one also irritates me.
As an aside, any time someone says, "I'm not racist, but..." you can take out the "not" and the "but."
Also, if you ever start a story with, "I shouldn't say this, but," especially at work, SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY. My old boss might still have some employees left if he'd followed this advice.
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"Level the playing field."
"You go, girl"
"McCain IS a viable candidate!"
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It tends to evoke cheeto-fingered IT guys arguing with messageboard nerds about why they're wrong for liking Full Metal Alchemist or something.
Hey, I enjoyed Full Metal Alchemist. Guess I'd be considered a fucktard in certain circles (possibly for other reasons as well).
my boss also likes to start confidential conversations with 'between you, me and the wall...'.
If you want to alienate him, the next time he does this you could always tell him it should be "among you, me, and the wall."
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A Ned Flanders that I work with replaces every potential cuss with the word booger.
Its wierd and gross and worse than actually swearing, thanks buddy now I'm visualizing boogers.
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Ever since hearing Tom rail on the phrase "bye bye" when ending a phone conversation, I've really noticed that one. Especially when I use it.
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I say "Same horse different eyebrows", I picked it up from my dad but I guess it must be a lame expression as I have never heard anyone else say it. Start saying it please, means same thing.
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Worst expressions are the ones used in offices:
"get some face time"
"i've got a lot on my plate"
Best expressions are the ones used in the south:
"it's hotter than two rats fuckin' in a wool sock"
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Writers of lifestyle features in magazines are often guilty of, well, lots of things, but the particular annoying phrase I'm thinking of is:
(Fill in the Blank), anyone?
Also, it's not exactly an expression, but I hate the use of the non-word "impactful" or the use of "impact" as a verb.
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Also, last week at work, I eavesdropped on a call between my boss and somebody looking for work. She was trying to break it to him easy that she didn't have a spot for him, when she suddenly pulled out:
"Look, Bob… I'm not gonna take you for a pickle ride here."
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Also, last week at work, I eavesdropped on a call between my boss and somebody looking for work. She was trying to break it to him easy that she didn't have a spot for him, when she suddenly pulled out:
"Look, Bob… I'm not gonna take you for a pickle ride here."
Are you kidding me? That's awesome!
I'm gonna start using that all the time!
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I think I am going to punch the next co-worker who uses "slam-dunk" in a non-basketball context.
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Also, last week at work, I eavesdropped on a call between my boss and somebody looking for work. She was trying to break it to him easy that she didn't have a spot for him, when she suddenly pulled out:
"Look, Bob… I'm not gonna take you for a pickle ride here."
Are you kidding me? That's awesome!
I'm gonna start using that all the time!
Man, that's a total Wursterism.
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as told by sarah silverman (jesus is magic), "can i steal you for a minute?" or "what a cute (cut)!"
essentially, the latter could be filled with anything.
parents (mothers) tend to use this.
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Nominations for WORST:
-Business people talking about a client/partner/vendor having "skin in the game"
-"ghetto" as an adjective
-"kooky"
-"don't go there"
Nominations for BEST:
--"cute like a stomach pump"
-"dumb as a box of hair"
-"a total goat-fuck"
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Nominations for WORST:
-Business people talking about a client/partner/vendor having "skin in the game"
-"ghetto" as an adjective
-"kooky"
-"don't go there"
Nominations for BEST:
--"cute like a stomach pump"
-"dumb as a box of hair"
-"a total goat-fuck"
im stealing "dumb as a box of hair"!
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Nominations for WORST:
-Business people talking about a client/partner/vendor having "skin in the game"
What on earth does this even mean?
I asked a friend how she was today, and she responded (completely offhand): 'busier than a one-legged whore at an ass-kicking contest."
I think she was mixing her terrible sayings a little.
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'homeskillet'
'food baby'
'honest to blog'
'forshizz up the spout'
'phuket, thailand'
'Yo Yo Yiggedy Yo'
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Sorry.
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Nominations for WORST:
-Business people talking about a client/partner/vendor having "skin in the game"
What on earth does this even mean?
I asked a friend how she was today, and she responded (completely offhand): 'busier than a one-legged whore at an ass-kicking contest."
I think she was mixing her terrible sayings a little.
thats FOUR terrible sayings mashed into ONE megawful saying.
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When I go on Scharplingesque rants, my dad thinks it's funny to say:
'But tell me how you really feel!!'
Pronouncing Target "Tar-zhay" is another one of his go-to jokes, even after flogging people with it for ten years. I think something's wrong with him.
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'homeskillet'
Is homeskillet worse than homeslice?
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dumber than a:
box of rocks
bag of hammers
mud hut
which is the best?
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"It is what it is." >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
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'homeskillet'
Is homeskillet worse than homeslice?
I think they're equally awful.
I find myself using friendo a lot lately.
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dumber than a:
box of rocks
bag of hammers
mud hut
which is the best?
Relatively funniest to least funny (or least lame to lamest):
mud hut
bag of hammers
box of rocks
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I find myself using friendo a lot lately.
Do you do a kind of lounge lizard pointing thing when you say it?
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"Look, Bob… I'm not gonna take you for a pickle ride here."
Pickle ride? That is incredible.
Do you take a pickle ride on the turnip truck?
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Nominations for WORST:
-Business people talking about a client/partner/vendor having "skin in the game"
This doesn't bother me so much. I prefer, having "a dog in this fight", however.
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There is a woman in our office whom is constantly overheard saying into the telephone, "Oh, rock on!"
Last friday she was all sorts of excited about seeing Van Halen at the local enormodome.
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This may be more irritating than lame, but I really can't stand "good thinkin, Lincoln."
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This may be more irritating than lame, but I really can't stand "good thinkin, Lincoln."
Who are all of you people spending your time with?
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This may be more irritating than lame, but I really can't stand "good thinkin, Lincoln."
Who are all of you people spending your time with?
Ha! That used to be a Breckman staple.
My personal revision of the "bag of hammers" thing for the last few years has been: "That guy's a real walking bag of hammers".®
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Basically anything swiped from South Park. You are not a sad panda, you're just sad.
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"[Anything]...Like a Rock Star" has solidified itself as the the least-'rocking' phrase in the Common Era.
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This may be more irritating than lame, but I really can't stand "good thinkin, Lincoln."
I don't think I've ever heard this, but I'll make a point of using it. Was it in Under Siege 2?
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Last night I got subjected to "at the end of the day" and "on the ground" within a single sentence.
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for realsies is a particularly bad one.
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"You're gettin' bad!"
"Who has the time anymore?"
Even though I use both expressions a lot.
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Referring to to some warmed over movie sequel or updating of old toy franchises as raping my childhood.
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if something is incorrect (as in dimensions on a set of blueprints), I'll sometimes hear: "well, that's just as wrong as two boys fuckin'" (it makes me cringe every time)
A good one for describing the weather, though: "it's hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock"
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My dad used to say of people who made him angry, "If he was on fire, and somebody was pissing on him to put him out, I would step in between them."
Which I kind of like, but it's safe to say my mother thought was at least (best?) lame, if not actionable.
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Being a huge grump in the morning, I tend to despise hearing "Rise and shine!"
"Rise and shine"???
Fuck off and get me some coffee!
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There is a woman in our office whom is constantly overheard saying into the telephone, "Oh, rock on!"
Last friday she was all sorts of excited about seeing Van Halen at the local enormodome.
That's cool though, if she's not being ironic. Right? Seriously, I would love it if any of my co-workers had a half of an ounce of that much personality.
Rock on FOTs.
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Nobody's willing to admit using some of these? I definitely have used Tar"zhay" for Target. It's something my dad always says...maybe I should stop stealing the older generations material. I also have used sad panda many times, maybe even on this board.
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There is a woman in our office whom is constantly overheard saying into the telephone, "Oh, rock on!"
Last friday she was all sorts of excited about seeing Van Halen at the local enormodome.
That's cool though, if she's not being ironic. Right? Seriously, I would love it if any of my co-workers had a half of an ounce of that much personality.
Rock on FOTs.
Rock on, Jed. Earnest slobs rule the day.
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I was sitting near a woman on the train who was chewing out her husband over the phone for forgetting to pick up something at Target. The odd thing was, in her stern chew-out voice, she was pronouncing it "tar-ZHAY". Why?! The effect was very unbalancing. Did she not know that people pronounced it that way to be whimsical? Or had she drained every drop of humor out of that pronunciation and neglected to discard it afterwards?
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Sometimes I find myself saying "I've gotta run that up the flagpole" at work. I don't even know what it means really, it just pops out of my mouth and it's lame.
Also, my coworker will say "God Bless America!" when she's mad about something. This is lame and wrong on several different levels.
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Sometimes I find myself saying "I've gotta run that up the flagpole" at work. I don't even know what it means really, it just pops out of my mouth and it's lame.
Also, my coworker will say "God Bless America!" when she's mad about something. This is lame and wrong on several different levels.
you know, my mom does this same thing, but instead says, "Good night nurse!" or just plain ol', "Good night...!"
ive attempted to educate her on how lame this sounds, but at some point, i suppose, you just dont care. so i stopped caring.
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anyhoo
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Sometimes I find myself saying "I've gotta run that up the flagpole" at work. I don't even know what it means really, it just pops out of my mouth and it's lame.
Also, my coworker will say "God Bless America!" when she's mad about something. This is lame and wrong on several different levels.
you know, my mom does this same thing, but instead says, "Good night nurse!" or just plain ol', "Good night...!"
ive attempted to educate her on how lame this sounds, but at some point, i suppose, you just dont care. so i stopped caring.
my Mom just says "Hell's bells!"
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exactamundo ;)
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Message board phrases that I vow to swear off:
Meh.
Bah.
Ugh.
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I bet Dave from Knoxville will disagree with me here, but:
(http://kickthebobo.com/c219ce12e76d07e6d9cf5742f53.jpg)
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Message board phrases that I vow to swear off:
Meh.
Bah.
Ugh.
But these are so useful during the quasi-conversations one conducts on message boards. We need our Internet grunts, I think.
My father's favorite curses used to be Chris' de Calvaire, Farciot Edouart, and Chakravarti (the name of a fellow with whom he shared an office for a stretch). Every now and then he'll bring one of these out again, and my heart melts with nostalgia.
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Message board phrases that I vow to swear off:
Meh.
Bah.
Ugh.
But these are so useful during the quasi-conversations one conducts on message boards. We need our Internet grunts, I think.
Psssch!
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Nmmmmgggggggghhh.
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Message board phrases that I vow to swear off:
Meh.
Bah.
Ugh.
Those are essential! Maybe not bah but meh and ugh are as important as any other word to express yourself. They sound dumb but everything else sounds worse.
One phrase I really need to stop using is "I'm not a big fan".
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I always say, "I'm not gonna lie...."
It's so stupid and I need to quit.
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you know, my mom does this same thing, but instead says, "Good night nurse!" or just plain ol', "Good night...!"
ive attempted to educate her on how lame this sounds, but at some point, i suppose, you just dont care. so i stopped caring.
I think "Good night nurse!" is awesome. I need to find new ways to curse around my kids.
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lame: laughter, followed by: "dude, that bumper sticker is hilarious."
as for good ones, whenever we'd take a long drive somewhere, my intensely catholic 90 year old italian grandmother would (at least once per trip) look out the window and utter: "this must be where god left his pants." i still have no idea what that means, but i do try and crowbar it into my everyday life as much as possible. i should also note that a "long drive," to her, was 20 minutes or more (sometimes less.)
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I bet Dave from Knoxville will disagree with me here, but:
(http://kickthebobo.com/c219ce12e76d07e6d9cf5742f53.jpg)
I would agree that it's lame, but in the same vein, how about this?
B(BBT(BBT)(BBT))(BBT)123
BBT(BBT)(BBT)(BBT1)23
B(T(BBT))(BBT)(BBT1)23
T(BBT)(BBT(BBT1))23
BBT(BBT1)(BBT)23
B(T(BBT1))(BBT)23
T(BBT1)(BBT2)3
BBT2(BBT1)3
B(T2)(BBT1)3
BBT1(T2)3
B(T1)(T2)3
T1(T23)
T231
321
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my intensely catholic 90 year old italian grandmother would (at least once per trip) look out the window and utter: "this must be where god left his pants."
What kind of scenery would you be passing when she made the comment? This could help us narrow down the meaning.
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my intensely catholic 90 year old italian grandmother would (at least once per trip) look out the window and utter: "this must be where god left his pants."
What kind of scenery would you be passing when she made the comment? This could help us narrow down the meaning.
Yes! I want to use this as soon as possible. I have kids who need to hear their father say stuff like this.
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Thanks, Andrew in Philadelphia!
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There's a category of expressions that are really lame but that I kinda like, and use occasionally, for that precise reason:
Cripes
Crimony
Geez Louise
My Lord/Good Lord
"Good night nurse" fits into that category. They all seem rather archaic...
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This may be more irritating than lame, but I really can't stand "good thinkin, Lincoln."
Who are all of you people spending your time with?
In this case, my mother.
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my intensely catholic 90 year old italian grandmother would (at least once per trip) look out the window and utter: "this must be where god left his pants."
What kind of scenery would you be passing when she made the comment? This could help us narrow down the meaning.
anything you'd see driving the backroads between philadelphia and wildwood, nj - diners, the world's biggest hubcap pyramid, some donut shack in the pine barrens run by nuns. you know, fun things.
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Hm. She could have been expressing wonder or disgust, then. Tricky.
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Hm. She could have been expressing wonder or disgust, then. Tricky.
i don't remember her ever expressing "wonder" at anything, but there was plenty of disgust. tons. constantly. from christmas presents and automobiles to facial hair and the television show "perfect strangers" - more or less everything got her blood boiling. she loved cooking, cigarettes, any type of fast food beef, alcohol, her family, earrings, gambling, stealing silverware and other cutlery from restaurants, and church. everything else was a target and usually got blasted pretty thoroughly.
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"Shit happens, man."
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There's a category of expressions that are really lame but that I kinda like, and use occasionally, for that precise reason:
Cripes
Yeah, I use cripes a lot. I've started saying crumbs too. :-\
Rhode Island-centric phrases that drive me batty:
"Not for nothin' but..."
"Side by each" (instead of side by side)
"Same difference" (this may be a not so local thing)
I also hate it whenever anyone says "irregardless."
I don't care for the term "wife-beater" as a term for a sleeveless tee-shirt anymore than I care for people beating their wives.
And finally, when people say "drive me batty." What the hell was I thinking?
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"Shit happens, man."
which always follows something shitty not happening to the inconsiderate souls who say this. i REALLY hate that one.
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i don't remember her ever expressing "wonder" at anything, but there was plenty of disgust. tons. constantly. from christmas presents and automobiles to facial hair and the television show "perfect strangers" - more or less everything got her blood boiling. she loved cooking, cigarettes, any type of fast food beef, alcohol, her family, earrings, gambling, stealing silverware and other cutlery from restaurants, and church. everything else was a target and usually got blasted pretty thoroughly.
She sounds sort of great, though a bit scary.
In any case, I think this suggests that anyplace where God left his pants is pretty awful. Why God leaving his pants somewhere should indicate this, I don't know. (I'm still recovering from the thought of God wearing pants at all and then doing something as prosaic as taking them off--one leg at a time, do you suppose, or in some miraculous godly manner? Boxers or briefs?).
Postscript: I just Googled "this must be where god left his pants" for the hell of it, and I think I found your blog. I feel like a spy. Sorry.
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Everyone knows God left his pants at The Madonna Inn.
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Rhode Island-centric phrases that drive me batty:
"Not for nothin' but..."
I always thought that was a Hudson County, NJ thing.
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"I'll wager dollars to donuts..." No you won't, SHUDDUP!
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i don't remember her ever expressing "wonder" at anything, but there was plenty of disgust. tons. constantly. from christmas presents and automobiles to facial hair and the television show "perfect strangers" - more or less everything got her blood boiling. she loved cooking, cigarettes, any type of fast food beef, alcohol, her family, earrings, gambling, stealing silverware and other cutlery from restaurants, and church. everything else was a target and usually got blasted pretty thoroughly.
She sounds sort of great, though a bit scary.
In any case, I think this suggests that anyplace where God left his pants is pretty awful. Why God leaving his pants somewhere should indicate this, I don't know. (I'm still recovering from the thought of God wearing pants at all and then doing something as prosaic as taking them off--one leg at a time, do you suppose, or in some miraculous godly manner? Boxers or briefs?).
Postscript: I just Googled "this must be where god left his pants" for the hell of it, and I think I found your blog. I feel like a spy. Sorry.
very intense might be a better word - but she could be scary to outsiders. when i'd show up to holiday dinners home from college, she'd grab my stomach when i came through the door and say, "you got heavy." this was her greeting, and from a woman who never weighed more than 90 pounds her entire life no less. a couple of times, completely within earshot (about 2 feet away,) i heard her say "i don't like her" about a girl my brother brought over to the house. "i don't like it" were usually the first words she said while opening a present etc. i don't think the scenery we passed was awful at all (to her) - i just don't think she liked anything (or not much.) cooking for her family and spending time with us and going to church were her passions - everything else fell under the immense shadow of god's trousers.
"write it on the ice" was another one. she'd say that if you asked her how much you owed her for something. my dad told me the thinking behind it was that by writing something on ice, eventually, it would melt and the record of debt be erased along with it - which made sense cause she'd never let us pay for anything.
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I forgot about the most obvious one (to me): "I could care less"
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good times, fo shizzle, peace out, crazy, hot
i hate when people type 'should of' when they mean should have
or 'then' instead of 'than'
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good times, fo shizzle, peace out, crazy, hot crazeehot
fixed
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i don't remember her ever expressing "wonder" at anything, but there was plenty of disgust. tons. constantly. from christmas presents and automobiles to facial hair and the television show "perfect strangers" - more or less everything got her blood boiling. she loved cooking, cigarettes, any type of fast food beef, alcohol, her family, earrings, gambling, stealing silverware and other cutlery from restaurants, and church. everything else was a target and usually got blasted pretty thoroughly.
She sounds sort of great, though a bit scary.
In any case, I think this suggests that anyplace where God left his pants is pretty awful. Why God leaving his pants somewhere should indicate this, I don't know. (I'm still recovering from the thought of God wearing pants at all and then doing something as prosaic as taking them off--one leg at a time, do you suppose, or in some miraculous godly manner? Boxers or briefs?).
Postscript: I just Googled "this must be where god left his pants" for the hell of it, and I think I found your blog. I feel like a spy. Sorry.
very intense might be a better word - but she could be scary to outsiders. when i'd show up to holiday dinners home from college, she'd grab my stomach when i came through the door and say, "you got heavy." this was her greeting, and from a woman who never weighed more than 90 pounds her entire life no less. a couple of times, completely within earshot (about 2 feet away,) i heard her say "i don't like her" about a girl my brother brought over to the house. "i don't like it" were usually the first words she said while opening a present etc. i don't think the scenery we passed was awful at all (to her) - i just don't think she liked anything (or not much.) cooking for her family and spending time with us and going to church were her passions - everything else fell under the immense shadow of god's trousers.
"write it on the ice" was another one. she'd say that if you asked her how much you owed her for something. my dad told me the thinking behind it was that by writing something on ice, eventually, it would melt and the record of debt be erased along with it - which made sense cause she'd never let us pay for anything.
It's a shame she never had a radio show, I think most of us would have been rabid fans.
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It's a shame she never had a radio show, I think most of us would have been rabid fans.
i don't think she liked radio either - but thinking of her doing her own show, and especially imagining what she'd call it, had me chuckling all morning. as for music - she did own 2 (count 'em - 2!) 8 tracks: "the best of louis prima" and something called "disco italiano" (which is exactly what it sounds like.)
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Andrew, I totally love that the show Perfect Strangers pissed her off. What an awesome character.
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Andrew, I totally love that the show Perfect Strangers pissed her off. What an awesome character.
she would literally flip the hell out if the tv was tuned to ABC on a friday night and she caught wind of the opening theme song. and yet she loved "sanford and son."
she was a trip though and we miss her lots. we usually spend the first 15 minutes of any family holiday meal going over various stories about her. i have to laugh sometimes listening to the best show because her diet was not unlike that of our beloved local hero philly boy roy (tasty cakes, meat, alcohol, NEVER any green vegetables.)
been noticing lately that my mom is acting more and more like her as the years go on (don't all kids, to some degree, eventually turn into their parents though? yikes..) i love her dearly, but she can be, well.. intense.
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"Havin' fun yet?" may be the lamest thing to ask someone who obviously is not having any fun.
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The last time anyone said that to me was almost a decade ago, when a cop asked me the question the third time he had encountered me within a couple of months (all occasions when I had committed no wrongdoing, I hasten to add--at least none of which he was aware). I think that's strong evidence of the lameness of the expression.
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peeps/homies
fo'shizzle (i second this)
you know what i mean?
dude (im guilty of this)
lots of these!!!!!!
:)
sweet dreams
im guilty of this
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working hard or hardly working?
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va-jay-jay
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"are you serious" is particularly bad.
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va-jay-jay
Most "whimsical" euphemisms for female anatomy are terrible. Super-awful: calling breasts "jubblies".
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When people say, "have a nice holiday, whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa..."
Like just the mere mention of Kwanzaa is comedy gold anymore.
I also really hate whimsical uses of afro wigs, pimps, and the 1970s in general. I think once the frat boys at the local college started having these really unfunny 'pimps and hos' parties that the reference was pretty beat.
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I absolutely hate "awkward turtle." Isn't adolescence all about awkwardness in the first place? Why do you need to bring in an animal and a stupid hand gesture to point out the obvious?
I also really hate whimsical uses of afro wigs, pimps, and the 1970s in general. I think once the frat boys at the local college started having these really unfunny 'pimps and hos' parties that the reference was pretty beat.
I have a friend who often has an afro-type hairstyle, which genuinely looks good on her, but frequently in public complete strangers will look at her and act as if she's just hilarious.
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I have a friend who often has an afro-type hairstyle, which genuinely looks good on her, but frequently in public complete strangers will look at her and act as if she's just hilarious.
Afro or Jewfro?
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I have a friend who often has an afro-type hairstyle, which genuinely looks good on her, but frequently in public complete strangers will look at her and act as if she's just hilarious.
Afro or Jewfro?
or WASPfro?
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I really hate hearing "cool beans", and yes, I still do hear it from time to time.
A favorite curse of my father's involves ranting about some evildoer, saying that someone should "break their legs and throw them down the stairs". He's from Philly--Fishtown, to be precise (it excites me when I hear it mentioned on the Best Show). I always picture them tumbling down the unforgiving concrete stairs (uppermost deck, usually) of Veteran"s Stadium.
My father's rants always make me smile, despite the cruelty--especially since they're generally reserved for people who really deserve it, people in the Cheney/animal abuser orbit.
Happy Father's Day!
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The Caddyshack line, "It's in the hole!" should be banned from all golf events.
For example, yesterday during the U.S. Open, every time Tiger Woods putted, someone would yell, "It's in the hole!"
Enough. It's lame.
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The Caddyshack line, "It's in the hole!" should be banned from all golf events.
For example, yesterday during the U.S. Open, every time Tiger Woods putted, someone would yell, "It's in the hole!"
Enough. It's lame.
AGREED 10000000000000000000000%
Do those people think they're in the movie Happy Gilmore?
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"are you serious" is particularly bad.
The correct usage is "Surely, you can't be serious."
To which the required response is, "I'm dead serious, and don't call me Shirley."
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Not so much an expression, but I HATE HATE HATE when someone uses the word "delicious" to describe anything other than food. So gross.
Speaking of weird grandma expressions, mine, when she was mad about something, would say "I'll have your guts for garters!" I'm kinda glad I didn't really understand what it meant when I was a kid because it's a pretty gross image.
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I got pretty tired of Gail Simmons describing food as "delicious."
I have an acquaintance who always calls sex "playing." It's revolting.
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I have a friend who often has an afro-type hairstyle, which genuinely looks good on her, but frequently in public complete strangers will look at her and act as if she's just hilarious.
Afro or Jewfro?
Afro. She's Dominican.
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How about
"I'm sorry."
TOTALLY lame. Overused. Manipulative. Cliched. Trite.
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How about
"I'm sorry."
TOTALLY lame. Overused. Manipulative. Cliched. Trite.
Do you have something against Canadians, Dave?
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FINALLY saw Juno tonight. I have enough lame expressions to take down the FOT server.
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It gets under my skin that so many people say "sorry" when they mean "excuse me," or "pardon me" (which no one under 75 probably ever says).
Other lame expressions:
stoked
jazzed
sweet
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I can't stand it when I hear people say that they're "over" something. Even worse when it's phrased as, "I'm SO over (this day at work) (high gas prices) (controversy over eating foie gras.)"
Please stop!
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I can't stand it when I hear people say that they're "over" something. Even worse when it's phrased as, "I'm SO over (this day at work) (high gas prices) (controversy over eating foie gras.)"
Please stop!
i'm SO over this thread
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"How's the weather up there?" As in, "Hey tall guy, how's the weather up there?"
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"How's the weather up there?" As in, "Hey tall guy, how's the weather up there?"
i get this as a shorty.
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Basically anything swiped from South Park. You are not a sad panda, you're just sad.
Thank you! Fa sheesy!
Also, using Simpsons quotations in lieu of an actual sense of humor. You know how the Simpsons writers make fun of obsessive Simpsons dorks? They do that because they HATE YOU.
PS: It's not my fault, but I reflexively throw punches whenever someone addresses me as "Guy."
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PS: It's not my fault, but I reflexively throw punches whenever someone addresses me as "Guy."
How 'bout waiters that call you "buddy"?
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Any guy who calls me "woman" when talking to my husband. "You need to learn how to control your woman." You wouldn't believe how often I hear that and everytime I hear it, I want to commit felonious assault against the speaker. Is that how you spell felonious? Is it feloneous?
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Any guy who calls me "woman" when talking to my husband. "You need to learn how to control your woman." You wouldn't believe how often I hear that and everytime I hear it, I want to commit felonious assault against the speaker. Is that how you spell felonious? Is it feloneous?
Hilarious!
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Any guy who calls me "woman" when talking to my husband. "You need to learn how to control your woman." You wouldn't believe how often I hear that and everytime I hear it, I want to commit felonious assault against the speaker. Is that how you spell felonious? Is it feloneous?
Similarly, my wife HATES when people refer to her as my "old lady."
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Slate hits one out of the park:
http://www.slate.com/toolbar.aspx?action=print&id=2194425
Throwing our attempts under the bus. This thread has now jumped the shark.
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"Coin" as in "dropping coin" or "saving coin." What, are the two syllables in "money" too much for you? I've only heard it used in a car commercial and a pizza commercial, but it drives me crazy.
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That's a good article.
I've got two people that I use as barometers for expressions and catchphrases - once it crosses either of their lips, it'll never again cross mine.
The notable exception being, "Wait, what?" My corny co-worker ran it into the ground, but I still use Wurster-ish variations of it sometimes.
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I have an acquaintance who always calls sex "playing." It's revolting.
Ewww.
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I tried searching and don't know if anyone suggested this but "vegging out" always bugged me.
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I don't like a lot of corny euphemisms for the human ass. "Kiester", "Duff", "Bum", "Fanny", "Tush". Yet among them, the worst for me is "bottom".
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Not to throw Ron Rosenbaum under the bus, but saying "catch" totally jumped the shark.
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I have an acquaintance who always calls sex "playing." It's revolting.
Ewww.
I'm glad someone has finally commented on the horror of this.
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"Nipply" in regards to the temperature.
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Similarly, my wife HATES when people refer to her as my "old lady."
That expression is a little more than simply lame.
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When I was younger my uncle would always say that he was going to "beat me like a red-headed stepchild" anytime we would play a game.
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Similarly, my wife HATES when people refer to her as my "old lady."
That expression is a little more than simply lame.
Oh yeah, I HATE it too. It's offensive.
Two more lame ones: "man up" or "cowboy up"
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- Hot enough for ya today?
- How 'bout them [sports team]? (So for me it's "How 'bout them Huskers?")
- You play the drums?! Wow! That's amazing! (cuz I'm a lady)
- How come you're so f**king stupid?!
Yeah, I get sick of hearing those phrases all the time .............................. okay, I'm the one who says that last one to myself a lot .....
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Similarly, my wife HATES when people refer to her as my "old lady."
That expression is a little more than simply lame.
Oh yeah, I HATE it too. It's offensive.
Two more lame ones: "man up" or "cowboy up"
Ew, "man up", to hell with that. Usually that shows up in response to somebody's actual legitimate concerns ("I have had too much work dumped on me"; "I am not feeling well"; "my girlfriend just broke up with me") and the person retorting with it is basically implying that you're some kind of weakling for not going through the day as though you are constantly re-enacting 300 or something.
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Is it possible no one has mentioned "been there, done that" yet? One of the more dismissive expressions out there. I dislike it.
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"Whatever."
Also, Conversational Terrorism: http://www.vandruff.com/art_converse.html
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I'm not sure if it's been said yet, or that this really applies (it doesn't), but -
"I don't have a problem with gay people, but if one tries to hit on me..."
Or some variation of that. Ugh.
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When I was younger my uncle would always say that he was going to "beat me like a red-headed stepchild" anytime we would play a game.
I hate the red-headed stepchild thing! I was one.
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When I was younger my uncle would always say that he was going to "beat me like a red-headed stepchild" anytime we would play a game.
Some variations on this phrase are used by hockey announcers referring to a scorer besting a goaltender:
"He beat him like a rented mule" and "He beat him like he owed him money"
I can't say I'm a fan of either. I prefer Mike Lange's other turns of phrase:
[youtube]SIHPd3vERUw[/youtube]
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Been there, done that is a staple of one of my supervisors at work, the one who yelled "blahbity blah blah blah...NOT!" a few minutes ago.
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"Everything must die sometime" and other similar sentiments.
No shit, sherlock. Is that going to make me feel any better? There's a time and a place for that. And when I tell people my cat is sick, and they ask me how old she is, and I tell them, and that's their reaction, I want to kill them.
How about just saying "oh well I hope she's going to be ok"
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I'm not sure if it's been said yet, or that this really applies (it doesn't), but -
"I don't have a problem with gay people, but if one tries to hit on me..."
Or some variation of that. Ugh.
i say this. and friends say it. although, it usually ends with, "...they'll be disappointed to find i dont like ______ (or _____)." i dont think theres anything wrong with that. its the truth. i dont like ______.
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I find it odd it even has to be said, though. Like, what situation warrants it? Besides being in a Kevin Smith movie or a Knocked Up budz-juzt-hangin' out scene?
I'm not saying everyone should be open to accept flirtatious nods here and there from the gender they're not into, or the fact you genuinely don't want gay people hitting on you, if anything because it could make an incredibly awkward situation (Oh, Withnail and I). Just that line.
"I don't have a problem with these gays, but if one tries to come on to me --"
Seriously, any variant of that.... Nothing comes off incredibly douche baggy?
Also, your ending of the phrase isn't as bad as what generally follows. But I don't know, I've just heard so many slobs say that. It's generally, "I don't have a problem with gay people, unless they hit on me". Seriously. I just dislike that whole, "People can do whatever they want in the privacy of their bedroom" type of attitude towards homosexuality. Like, it can exist, just not anywhere near/in front of me. It just feels like thinly veiled "I guess I gotta" acceptance of homosexuality.
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Oh hey it's ok to hate "No Shit Sherlock"
I don't use it often :)
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I already deleted the post because I felt bad and am a coward, but yeah, I don't mean to pick on you or anything! I just feel an instant knee-jerk "Gah" in reaction to it, for whatever reason.
I dislike the word, "stinky" for the same reason. It just -sounds- horrible.
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I have a friend who despises the word "panties"
So I like to sing the Panty Song whenever I'm near her. I made it up just for her and involves a little dance but no actual panties.
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Similarly, though a little more down the turlet, the words "cooter" and "pooter". Ugh.
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Similarly, though a little more down the turlet, the words "cooter" and "pooter". Ugh.
ugh, this i agree with. any variant of the word vagina generally tends to gross me out.
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How about the word "weenis"?
I go back and forth between loving it and hating it.
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I still find the word "bug" for "vagina" rather charming. I came to it late in life, and it took me by surprise. I don't use it, but I don't cringe when I hear it, as I do for most other such euphemisms.
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"I don't have a problem with these gays, but if one tries to come on to me --"
Seriously, any variant of that.... Nothing comes off incredibly douche baggy?
The disclaimer, "I have nothing against gays, but..." almost invariably states that the person DOES have something against gays.
It's about the equivalent to I'm about to say something offensive about said group, but it's okay because I say it's okay. Quite douchebaggy, I agree.
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"No worries."
No . . . . worries.
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Two more lame ones: "man up" or "cowboy up"
I just said one of these in Chinatown and was so revolted with myself that I came to this thread to post about how lame that expression is.
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I have a friend who despises the word "panties"
So I like to sing the Panty Song whenever I'm near her. I made it up just for her and involves a little dance but no actual panties.
I was just in a conversation with some lady friends about how much they hated the words "moist," "panties," and "slacks," which are pretty easy to put into a single sentence. Then that night, a linguist on this nerd forum I'm on posted that "moist" and "slacks" are two of the most despised words in the English language. I bet "panties" is in there too.
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"I don't have a problem with these gays, but if one tries to come on to me --"
Seriously, any variant of that.... Nothing comes off incredibly douche baggy?
The disclaimer, "I have nothing against gays, but..." almost invariably states that the person DOES have something against gays.
It's about the equivalent to I'm about to say something offensive about said group, but it's okay because I say it's okay. Quite douchebaggy, I agree.
I can't remember if I said this earlier, but who cares?
My old boss used to say, "I shouldn't say this, but..."
He was right EVERY SINGLE TIME.
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Generally speaking, people who are having offensive things said about them tend to care.
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I think he was saying "who cares if I've said this before?" not "who cares if someone says something offensive?".
Unless if he meant "I can't remember if I said this earlier, but who cares?" as a "lamest expression" candidate.
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Two more lame ones: "man up" or "cowboy up"
Don't forget "sack up."
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"hug it out" is something I've been hearing a lot lately, along with "bromance".
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Bro-anything is terrible. A guy I knew calls his fratty pals "brohemian". I don't think there's anything remotely bohemian about these dudes, so I don't even really think it works as a pun.
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I was OK with panties until Nick Cave put his hands down in some.
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let sleeping dogs lie
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Also, last week at work, I eavesdropped on a call between my boss and somebody looking for work. She was trying to break it to him easy that she didn't have a spot for him, when she suddenly pulled out:
"Look, Bob… I'm not gonna take you for a pickle ride here."
that's awesome. what other eavesdropping stories do you have? i used to eavesdrop on my boss's phone, but i only heard him complaining to his wife about his job.
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Also, last week at work, I eavesdropped on a call between my boss and somebody looking for work. She was trying to break it to him easy that she didn't have a spot for him, when she suddenly pulled out:
"Look, Bob… I'm not gonna take you for a pickle ride here."
that's awesome. what other eavesdropping stories do you have? i used to eavesdrop on my boss's phone, but i only heard him complaining to his wife about his job.
that's reminiscent of the lewis black eavesdropping story/joke/anecdote, "if it wasn't for my horse..."
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I still find the word "bug" for "vagina" rather charming. I came to it late in life, and it took me by surprise. I don't use it, but I don't cringe when I hear it, as I do for most other such euphemisms.
I kind of like "AIDS cave."
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"I'm high as Harlem."
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"I'm high as Harlem."
I think this is a winner.
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"I'm high as Harlem."
I think this is a winner.
I would accept this from Big L and precisely nobody else.
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"ghetto latte"
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I kind of like "AIDS cave."
That's because you're a shameless romantic.
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"ghetto latte"
Please let this be about coffee.
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"ghetto latte"
Please let this be about coffee.
It's when you make your own latte or whatnot by buying espresso and using the free milk.
Why people think that 1/5 espresso 4/5 milk is good is beyond me, ghetto or upscale.
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It's when you make your own latte or whatnot by buying espresso and using the free milk.
It's also the kind of thing that can get your dick punched (http://dcist.com/2008/07/15/murky_coffee_vs_teh_internet.php).
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It's when you make your own latte or whatnot by buying espresso and using the free milk.
It's also the kind of thing that can get your dick punched (http://dcist.com/2008/07/15/murky_coffee_vs_teh_internet.php).
I was following that controversy. I understand the shop's concerns about being ripped off, but there is no significant "quality" difference that would result from using ice with espresso rather than hot water (as for an americano), that wouldn't likewise be present for any cold drink. And if they really cared they'd make actual iced espresso, which is a totally different process that doesn't use hot water at any point.
The solution to ghetto lattes is to charge by cup size, and to kick people the f out if they insist on trying to rip you off, instead of inventing dumb coffee rules and then quite transparently lying about it.
When I worked as a barista, I would make whatever people wanted. I might tell them it wouldn't work (as in adding real fruit syrup to milk (curdles)) or that it would taste bad and be overpriced (as in making a large cappuccino (pointless)) but I would make it if they wanted it. Because who cares? I would also tell people, if asked, that I thought the only worthwhile drinks were tea, hot chocolate, espresso, and coffee, and that they'd be better off going to an ice cream shop if they wanted milkshakes. I was a dick about correct terminology, though.
When the dude linked to the video clip from 5 Easy Pieces, he won the argument.