FOT Forum
FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: yesno on June 07, 2008, 03:38:54 PM
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# Have to change oil in cars regularly (lesson learnt at age 18, after ruining first car)
# That the primary purpose of "food" is things like protein, fat, fiber, etc, and not "vitamins" (lesson learnt: not sure.)
# That cheap clothes that fit well make you look better than ill-fitting clothes of any quality (mid 20s)
# That everybody is faking it (late 20s)
# pluck, don't try to shave unibrow (late teens)
# Inspiration doesn't matter, hard work does (mid to late 20s)
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# pluck, don't try to shave unibrow (late teens)
This is a very accurate assessment. I had a friend freshman year of high school that tried to shave his unibrow and in addition to totally messing them up, got a nasty case of razor burn.
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# pluck, don't try to shave unibrow (late teens)
But it hurts!
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that authority figures like parents and teachers are just as flawed and imperfect as anyone else and have a disproportionate ability to fuck things up. (early to mid twenties)
to learn what good music is... it took me until well into my freshman year in college to go deeper than the staple beatles, kinks, dylan and neil young and the usual modern dreck.
that girls aren't all that interested in the quiet guy. (mid twenties)
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I don't have a unibrow, but plucking HURTS. Waxing is practically painless, and anyone who says otherwise is a pussy.
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# Inspiration doesn't matter, hard work does (mid to late 20s)
Not to get all "Oprah" up on this thread, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it doesn't matter. You can't always sit around waiting for the bolt of lightning, but you also ought to remain open to the possibility of it striking and the value of it when it does, no?
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# Inspiration doesn't matter, hard work does (mid to late 20s)
Not to get all "Oprah" up on this thread, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it doesn't matter. You can't always sit around waiting for the bolt of lightning, but you also ought to remain open to the possibility of it striking and the value of it when it does, no?
Of course. Not to get all "Yogi Berra" up on this thread, but it's probably 90% hard work, and the other half is inspiration.
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i cant STAND using a tweezer to pluck my eyebrows. I just don't have the patience.
I use these mini Noxzema razors - they work great, no razor burn or anything.
http://www.buzzillions.com/dz_93274_womens_noxzema_eyebrow_shaper_reviews
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this thread owns.
- there is a direct proportion between how hateful people are and how much they hate themselves.
- (this one might start fights but) a college eduction isn't really important and when an expensive college education results in a 21-year-old being 30-200K in debt, that is a serious travesty.
- credit cards are bullshit, a.k.a. don't live beyond your means.
- and when i was in my 20s, i realized that teenagers know NOTHING. and now that i'm 30, i realize that people in their 20s know NOTHING. so i'm accepting that there is a pattern in this and will not be so quick to rattle off my opinion about things, particularly subjects with which i have no personal experience, which leads me to:
- people who don't have kids should seriously shut their damn mouths about child-rearing, unless they're talking about out-and-out abuse. unless you have a kid, you have no idea what you're talking about.
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- (this one might start fights but) a college eduction isn't really important and when an expensive college education results in a 21-year-old being 30-200K in debt, that is a serious travesty.
I don't think a formal education is necessary in terms of gaining actual knowledge. You may have influential professors here and there, but education is a personal responsibility. But I think having a couple of magic tickets tends to open doors. It's a shame the way it works, because too many poor people are still excluded from college degrees while middle and upper class dimbulbs can always find a way.
Tweezer vs. shaving issue:
You really want eyebrow stubble? Tweezing doesn't hurt after a while. You lose sensitivity.
Me, I have positively senatorial eyebrows.
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- people who don't have kids should seriously shut their damn mouths about child-rearing, unless they're talking about out-and-out abuse. unless you have a kid, you have no idea what you're talking about.
With that said (and I agree whole heartedly) I will add that if you truly do NOT want to have children, get a vasectomy and commit to that ideology. I love my friends kids and am (I think) a good influence on the next generation, but ladies sometimes don't believe you when you say that you don't want to breed. The vasectomy lays all the cards on the table from the get go and will prevent sorrow and wasted time for both parties.
snip snip.
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x Almost everybody I know is so self absorbed that it has become nauseating.
x Friends can sometimes be more family than your actual family.
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- and when i was in my 20s, i realized that teenagers know NOTHING. and now that i'm 30, i realize that people in their 20s know NOTHING.
HEY! I already know everything and I'm younger than you. So that proves you're wr...oh. Um.
Actually I don't know anything except for the fact that there should exist, somewhere or somehow, a picture of TL with the lolcats-style caption "don't make me get all Oprah up on this thread." Though I might be wrong about that, too. One never knows.
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I don't think I ever learned the credit card thing, to my current regret.
My list includes:
-Tying my shoes
-Riding a bike
-Driving
Also: I agree with Yesno re. college/class and TL re. inspiration.
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-- Now that I am 40, I feel surrounded by people in their 30s who have failed to figure a lot of things out, but think they have (present company excluded).
-- My conclusion that a lot of people haven't figured out things that they should know by now is fairly subjective, if not downright solipsistic. Concluding that you have life figured out is a very illusory proposition (in other words, I realize how much I don't know and probably can't know)
-- Invest in assets as wisely as possible, e.g. real estate and securities, but DO invest, if at all possible. Make your money work for you while you are out there toiling away. No matter how old you are, it's probably not too late. Building equity in your own business seems like a great way to go, if that is an option.
-- My own experience, for what it's worth: hard work and inspiration are both needed in order to really get somewhere satisfying. It's best to have both, not to have to choose between them
-- Lotteries and casinos are great big scams, but gaming can occasionally be fun. Lotteries are for misplaced dreams.
-- Some weird shit definitely went down in Roswell, New Mexico*
-- Love and meaningful work are the two most important things in life, in that order
* haha, just kidding
Wait a minute, this sounds too much like Mitch Albom. Who am I to hand out advice? Sorry if this is too nauseating.
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I still haven't learned how to whistle. :(
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I still can't whistle. :(
Have you tried the inhaling way as opposed to the exhaling way?
Loads easier. For serious.
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- and when i was in my 20s, i realized that teenagers know NOTHING. and now that i'm 30, i realize that people in their 20s know NOTHING.
HEY! I already know everything and I'm younger than you. So that proves you're wr...oh. Um.
i should have said present company excluded! but! i also (somewhat circuitously) said that i knew nothing. i just meant that people shouldn't speak with authority about circumstances that require life experience. that is all!
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I agree with Fido in that pretty much anyone who claims to not be totally confused and baffled by life is a fool. There are very few wise people and I think, in my life, I have met maybe one.
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Recently:
- How to carry on a conversation (still working on it).
- How to have a good time (still working on it).
- That fruits and vegetables are worth eating every day and make me very happy.
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I have yet to master the art of knowing when a girl likes me.
More than a couple times in my life I've had a small crush on a girl, but didn't think it was reciprocal until a year or so later, when either they were moving away or they (or I) ended up dating someone else and then comes the reveal: "I liked you a lot" ... when there's nothing to be done about it.
Being oblivious to clues is lame.
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Yeesh, my inspiration crack was based on the idea behind the Chuck Close quote, “Inspiration is for amateurs. I just get to work.” But like the Neils Bohr quote, "A great truth is a truth whose opposite is also a great truth." I feel like a rabbinic scholar. I just meant that it took me a while to learn that it's better to just get off my ass sometimes.
It also took me a long time to appreciate color.
It wasn't until last week that I learned that good salmon is not fishy tasting.
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It is COMPLETELY okay for people to be into things that you don't like. (Very early 20s)
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I have yet to master the art of knowing when a girl likes me.
More than a couple times in my life I've had a small crush on a girl, but didn't think it was reciprocal until a year or so later, when either they were moving away or they (or I) ended up dating someone else and then comes the reveal: "I liked you a lot" ... when there's nothing to be done about it.
Being oblivious to clues is lame.
I am the worst ever at this. It's not really an issue for me anymore since I'm married, but I'm sure I blew my chances with a young lady I liked a couple of times during my unattached days.
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I don't have a unibrow
Bragging?
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I am the worst ever at this.
Bet you're not.
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- Don't ever take the job for the money/security (unless you have someone that can hold you to your "I'll only do this for 6 months/a year/2 years"). You'll regret it in the end, even if you get to go on vacation because of it. (20s)
- Know when to leave/give up on something (after giving an honest effort). (20s)
- Sometimes you have to do things to convince people of your worth that you know don't have a whole lot of worth in order to get where you want to be. (grad school years)
- Don't do something for the accolade and attention that you wouldn't want to also do in obscurity, because your own joy in it is the only thing stable.
- Learn some decent knife skills and you can cook almost anything.
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I have yet to master the art of knowing when a girl likes me.
More than a couple times in my life I've had a small crush on a girl, but didn't think it was reciprocal until a year or so later, when either they were moving away or they (or I) ended up dating someone else and then comes the reveal: "I liked you a lot" ... when there's nothing to be done about it.
Being oblivious to clues is lame.
Boy this is a good one. To me it's one of those skills that you just have and while people are always giving out tips about "signs" and it seems like something that really shouldn't be that difficult to figure out, it's something that I doubt I personally will ever learn. I think for me it probably goes hand in hand with fear of rejection or turning a good friendship into something awkward. I'm lucky that my current girlfriend, after a year of being close friends, basically flat out told me she was interested in being more than friends because who knows if I would've been able to pull the trigger.
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If I ever have to change a flat tire, I'm screwed.
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If I ever have to change a flat tire, I'm screwed.
This is why I have a AAA membership.
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I have yet to master the art of knowing when a girl likes me.
More than a couple times in my life I've had a small crush on a girl, but didn't think it was reciprocal until a year or so later, when either they were moving away or they (or I) ended up dating someone else and then comes the reveal: "I liked you a lot" ... when there's nothing to be done about it.
Being oblivious to clues is lame.
Boy this is a good one. To me it's one of those skills that you just have and while people are always giving out tips about "signs" and it seems like something that really shouldn't be that difficult to figure out, it's something that I doubt I personally will ever learn. I think for me it probably goes hand in hand with fear of rejection or turning a good friendship into something awkward. I'm lucky that my current girlfriend, after a year of being close friends, basically flat out told me she was interested in being more than friends because who knows if I would've been able to pull the trigger.
Yeah... after a full six weeks of emailing back and forth daily, inviting the boy to lunch/happy hour, and saying over and over again that "we just HAVE to hang out more often" he didn't get it until I actually sent him my phone number. THEN he understood that I definitely liked him and we were boyfriend and girlfriend within 2 days of that. We talked about it and he said he wasn't sure til he actually had the phone number. I told him he almost didn't get it because I was feeling like I was borderline desperate. Luckily I don't have that much pride and I sent it to him despite the fact that my friends told me "if he's interested you would know by now"
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Realizing that you are doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons - and then stopping it, even if it means a temporary retrenchment, and even if it's something you've been expected to do for a long time - does NOT make you a "quitter." People will think it's much less of a big deal than you think they will - they are much more focused on themselves than on you.
Better to be a failure in a situation you like than a success in a situation you hate - but, odds are, you'll be far more successful at something you like, anyway. (23 and again at 27)
Find a woman (or man) who is as smart as you are, and smarter about some things. The closest people in your life should make you better, and you should make them better. The same goes for people you work with (if you have any choice at all in the matter).
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Find a woman (or man) who is as smart as you are, and smarter about some things. The closest people in your life should make you better, and you should make them better.
so what do you do if you're a dummy?
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Then you just have more choices. Be grateful.
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Good point Sarah
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*How to blow a bubble with gum
* Quick keys in general
* I can't just eat what I want and not exercise
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* I can't just eat what I want and not exercise
Sure you can, as long as you're willing to put up with the consequences (at least, as long as the pleasures of unrestrained consumption are greater than your distress over the drawbacks).
In any case, aren't you just a young lass, Beth? Surely you're allowed to live in the present a little while longer. Please, for my sake, don't start fretting unduly about this stuff until you're twenty-one at the earliest.
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*How to blow a bubble with gum
Oh, me too! I couldn't do this when I was a little girl, so I would stretch the gum OVER my mouth and then blow, and it would kind of work. Once I learned how, I would throw two or three pieces of Bubblicious or Bubble Yum into my mouth, and it took me three haircuts to learn to pull back on the bubble blowing.
I also had trouble learning how to blow soap bubbles.
Also, I can't whistle.
Also also, this (http://www.instantrimshot.com/) is for the wiseacre who makes a crack about me blowing things.
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* I can't just eat what I want and not exercise
Sure you can, as long as you're willing to put up with the consequences (at least, as long as the pleasures of unrestrained consumption are greater than your distress over the drawbacks).
In any case, aren't you just a young lass, Beth? Surely you're allowed to live in the present a little while longer. Please, for my sake, don't start fretting unduly about this stuff until you're twenty-one at the earliest.
I'm 24 (25 in September) but I definitely still qualify as a "young lass."
This revelation occurred just this year, when I realized that (gasp) my metabolism was slowing down. Also, I was a ballerina in my teens and danced quite regularly until recently...so I'm not used to regimented exercise.
But it's okay. I've been biking the hilly countryside now that the weather is nice, and with a few more days like this, simply practicing cello in 90 degree heat seems to be enough to make me sweat off some pounds.
It's more a question feeling fit (and not having to buy new jeans) I think I look fine, and am quite comfortable with my body. I'm not fretting, I promise!!!
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I take it back: you're an old, old lady.
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This revelation occurred just this year, when I realized that (gasp) my metabolism was slowing down.
I started putting weight in mid-twenties too. A couple of years ago I quit drinking. Exercise never did squat. Elimination of beer = 20 lbs loss.
Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain: fact.
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This revelation occurred just this year, when I realized that (gasp) my metabolism was slowing down.
I started putting weight in mid-twenties too. A couple of years ago I quit drinking. Exercise never did squat. Elimination of beer = 20 lbs loss.
Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain: fact.
Yeah, getting married packed the pounds onto me. Of course, I was really skinny when I got married (6'2" 165 lbs), so this wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
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Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain: fact.
yup. also, having a kid causes weight gain in both mother and father: fact.
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Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain: fact.
yup. also, having a kid causes weight gain in both mother and father: fact.
i'm so proud this is the post that led to my becoming a "rapist."
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that authority figures like parents and teachers are just as flawed and imperfect as anyone else and have a disproportionate ability to fuck things up. (early to mid twenties)
to learn what good music is... it took me until well into my freshman year in college to go deeper than the staple beatles, kinks, dylan and neil young and the usual modern dreck.
that girls aren't all that interested in the quiet guy. (mid twenties)
Why "disproportionate"? Be gentle.
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that authority figures like parents and teachers are just as flawed and imperfect as anyone else and have a disproportionate ability to fuck things up. (early to mid twenties)
to learn what good music is... it took me until well into my freshman year in college to go deeper than the staple beatles, kinks, dylan and neil young and the usual modern dreck.
that girls aren't all that interested in the quiet guy. (mid twenties)
Why "disproportionate"? Be gentle.
yeah... maybe i was a little unkind. funny thing is that my father's a teacher, too.
i've also had amazing teachers that gave me a lot of guidance and encouragement. i guess what i meant was that i had a handful of terrible teachers to whom i gave much more credit than they deserved just because they were adults. now that im an adult i realize teachers are just as likely to go to work everyday and mail it in as anyone else.
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up until the day that i turned 25 i kept my passport, birth certificate and social security card in various haphazard locations. never did i lose any one of those items. the day i turned 25 i decided to try my hand at responsibility and put all of those items in a large envelope and stored it away for safe keeping.
four months later, when i have a opportunity to travel out of the country for work...the envelope is nowhere to be found.
childhood: 1
adulthood: 0
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that girls aren't all that interested in the quiet guy. (mid twenties)
You're nuts. I had a mad crush on Robin John Gibb in junior high because he was the quiet kid. Ever since, I've continued to crush on quiet guys. I think most girls of all ages go for the shy, quiet guy.
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This revelation occurred just this year, when I realized that (gasp) my metabolism was slowing down.
I started putting weight in mid-twenties too. A couple of years ago I quit drinking. Exercise never did squat. Elimination of beer = 20 lbs loss.
Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain: fact.
Yeah, getting married packed the pounds onto me. Of course, I was really skinny when I got married (6'2" 165 lbs), so this wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
Yeah, I've been in a monogamous relationship for a few years now--that could totally have something to do with it. My boyfriend, who is 29, remains however, as skinny as always. I swear, he has the highest metabolism in the history of mankind. He radiates heat in a way no other person does...it's crazy.
I can't give up beer at this point in my life, because I enjoy it far too much.
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I'd rather run more than give up beer and I'd rather give up beer than drink light beer. Not that light beer is really much better.
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This revelation occurred just this year, when I realized that (gasp) my metabolism was slowing down.
I started putting weight in mid-twenties too. A couple of years ago I quit drinking. Exercise never did squat. Elimination of beer = 20 lbs loss.
Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain: fact.
Yeah, getting married packed the pounds onto me. Of course, I was really skinny when I got married (6'2" 165 lbs), so this wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
Yeah, I've been in a monogamous relationship for a few years now--that could totally have something to do with it. My boyfriend, who is 29, remains however, as skinny as always. I swear, he has the highest metabolism in the history of mankind. He radiates heat in a way no other person does...it's crazy.
I can't give up beer at this point in my life, because I enjoy it far too much.
Beth, that radiating heat thing will fade, and he'll struggle along with ye. Metabolism slowdown strikes a lot of men in their early to mid 30s, in my experience. Fortunately, it's often a slow decline rather than a huge one. You have a little time to kick the midmorning snack of multiple Krispy Kremes.
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I never learned to whistle and if one more person tells me I'm holding my chopsticks the wrong way, I'm going to scream.
I like to hold them the way I do! It took me a really long time to learn how to use them at all :)
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Yeesh, my inspiration crack was based on the idea behind the Chuck Close quote, “Inspiration is for amateurs. I just get to work.”
Yeah, well, his work is completely formulaic. And I don't mean that as an insult. He just does what he does. Over and over. Still, I think there's a kick of inspiration, where you're obligated to write things down or draw or whatever, and then the real stuff comes later. It's when you just work on that seed, but that seed is something nobody else really needs to see or hear about because the seed itself is probably not presentable to anyone but you.
Also, I hit 30 this year, and my man-breasts are really ripe. I'm feeling yeasty and bloated after a night of drinking beers. I'm actually thinking of drinking less without anyone even mentioning an intervention!
Anyway, a thing I learned:
Crisis and calamity are pretty much inevitable in life, so appreciate what you have today because it is impossible to hold onto things forever. Also, don't get too worried about avoiding crisis, because you can't. (late 20's) Sounds Cliche, but actually realizing it in full was intense.
Ed.--not basic and too nebulous and subjective
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Also, I hit 30 this year, and my man-breasts are really ripe.
Pic?
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Here I am relaxing over the weekend.
(http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/02_01/nicholsonDM0302_468x436.jpg)
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How was the hoagie?
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A little dry.
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Something I learned towards the end of my college years:
It is acceptable to go to a concert or movie by yourself. There were many times I didn't go to concerts because I couldn't convince anyone to go with me. It reached a point where I decided there was no reason to deprive myself of a good show, just because no one would go with me. Now I'm at the point where I almost prefer to go to concerts by myself (at least in small venues).
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It reached a point where I decided there was no reason to deprive myself of a good show, just because no one would go with me. Now I'm at the point where I almost prefer to go to concerts by myself (at least in small venues).
I notice that I like to be quiet and people watch while I'm at shows, and that's hard to do with any friends (let alone the dramatic ones I have.) The thought of going to one of my beloved local hip hop shows alone is a welcome thought!