FOT Forum
The Best Show on WFMU => Show Discussion => Topic started by: TL on August 05, 2008, 10:16:22 PM
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For the record, it's not just Starbucks that does this, but it was what immediately popped to mind, and even at Starbucks, it's not the "tall," "grande," "venti" that I have a problem with - if I want a grande, I order it as a "grande" - I don't say "medium," for exactly the reasons Jason brought up. But it took me long enough to figure out that they call a grande iced coffee with a shot of espresso in it an "iced grande red-eye," but almost as soon as I started ordering it that way, they changed up on me and started throwing in this "iced grande iced no classic coffee with an add shot" thing, and then often, not always, but often, seemingly resenting me for ordering a simple red-eye.
That's all.
Carry on...
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I thought you were for the working man, I guess success changed you.
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I thought you were for the working man, I guess success changed you.
I'm complicated.
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The thing about Starbucks is that it has upped the ante on all coffee now. In the past I would order breakfast at a diner and half the time the coffee would be stale brown water. Now, people are getting the idea that it isn't that hard to make good coffee. These days the bad cup of coffee is a rare thing. Which is nice.
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I can't bring myself to say it. I can't say "venti." I just can't. They can have my money, but they can't have my soul.
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I can't bring myself to say it. I can't say "venti." I just can't. They can have my money, but they can't have my soul.
You know, the thing is, that actually makes more sense than the others - it's "twenty" in Italian, as in "20 oz." The one I have the problem with is "tall" for "small."
Why am I seriously having this discussion???
(Oh yeah - 'cause FOTchan's gone)
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I can't bring myself to say it. I can't say "venti." I just can't. They can have my money, but they can't have my soul.
Doesn't panhandling with a Starbucks cup make people less likely to give you change Spoony?
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I usually order by saying "grande" if that's what I'm getting because I feel like they would know I'm being an asshole on purpose if I asked for a medium, but I still say "small" instead of "tall," since it's obvious what I mean and it sounds similar.
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When I used to barista I found that people who "came up" in Starbucks didn't know how to order coffee in a regular cafe. I can't remember anything specific, but I think macchiato's were a big confusion point. Plus they were always shocked that whipped cream and chocolate didn't come with everything.
I hate the jargon nazis though either way.
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You know, the thing is, that actually makes more sense than the others - it's "twenty" in Italian, as in "20 oz." The one I have the problem with is "tall" for "small."
Why am I seriously having this discussion???
(Oh yeah - 'cause FOTchan's gone)
Hey, tonight's about the little things. I concede to the logic of the "Venti," but marketing gimmicks like that shake my soda. As for the "Tall" and "Grande," those titles are un-redeemable. You can't fit a baby's fist into a "tall." Oh well, I'm shouting at giants. At least they provide soy milk.
Doesn't panhandling with a Starbucks cup make people less likely to give you change Spoony?
Yes, no one hands it over to the kid with a Starbcucks cup. This kids a pauper because he didn't economize when he had it. He had to throw it away on the fancy stuff. Even worse with an Illy cup. You get kicked.
The ideal pan-handle is an orange peel full of change, on top of a mangy dog's head. If you can't find a mangy dog, then try to look like a chimney-sweep from Olde West Minster. Soot's easy to fake.
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A macchiato is a shot of espresso with a tiny bit of foam on top.
To the extent that Starbucks confuses the issue by calling other drinks by that name, it needs to be destroyed. Their regular brewed coffee is better than that of 99% of small coffee houses though, because they realize that caffeine and not taste is what matters.
Calling the dumb non-drink "latte macchiato" a macchiato is like calling a vodka martini a "martini." I don't even drink and that pisses me off.
Also, there are only two valid naming schemes for drinks: (1) Small-Medium-Large and (2) Actual # of ounces in the cup.
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I can't say "grande". I want coffee not nachos.
And "venti" means friday in some language, I'm pretty sure. Friday coffee? on Monday? forget it.
"Tall" better be tall. Like, Richard Kiel tall.
small, medium, and large,
-Ajax
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I use LIKE IT, LOVE IT, GOTTA HAVE IT even when I'm NOT at Cold Stone Creamery
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It's so bad at the movies now that I just point to the pop corn and drink I want and say "that one".
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if they didn't use those exotic and fancy names, people would be less willing to pay so much for it. and you can't argue with their success.
we've been manipulated successfully marketed to.
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I thought you were for the working man, I guess success changed you.
You don't get to be "Rockstar" by going to Dunking Doughnuts.
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I refer to Starbucks coffee sizes with the following terms:
fart
shart
twenty minute deuce
Farewell, Fotchan.
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When I used to barista I found that people who "came up" in Starbucks didn't know how to order coffee in a regular cafe. I can't remember anything specific, but I think macchiato's were a big confusion point. Plus they were always shocked that whipped cream and chocolate didn't come with everything.
I hate the jargon nazis though either way.
This is totally true. Starbucks has a macchiato that's a completely different drink than the rest of the planet's macchiato. I don't remember what either of them are anymore, except that the Starbuck's version is like some child's fantasy of a fancy coffee drink; it's like a half inch of caffeinated beverage and two inches of whipped cream and caramel or some such nonsense. It's like some sick joke they played on the rest of the world's barristas, to have people come in and get mad at them for not having the Starbucks menu.
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I'm a jargon enforcer when there is genuine ambiguity as to what exactly you are talking about.
Another sizing issue is that number of shots of espresso in a drink needs to be an entirely separate metric than the total amount of liquid. You should have to specify both for each order.
The other issue is that most coffee drinks totally stink and are pointless.
Another knock against the Adbusters crowd: You can talk smack about Starbucks or Barnes and Nobles, but my hometown in NJ and most places in flyover country, before beautiful capitalism, had no way at all to get their hands on snooty big city things like espresso and trade paperbacks. And no way to get sizzlin' fajitas before Chiles.
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I know that Starbucks originally only had two sizes: short (6 or 8oz -- i believe) and tall (12oz). Once they began expanding across the country, people wanted more coffee so they introduced the grande (16oz) and eventually people wanted even more so they added the venti (20oz).
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"Tall" better be tall. Like, Richard Kind tall.
Fixed.
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I know that Starbucks originally only had two sizes: short (6 or 8oz -- i believe) and tall (12oz). Once they began expanding across the country, people wanted more coffee so they introduced the grande (16oz) and eventually people wanted even more so they added the venti (20oz).
this is true. have you seen people drinking coffee in old movies, especially from europe?
small cups.
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Another knock against the Adbusters crowd: You can talk smack about Starbucks or Barnes and Nobles, but my hometown in NJ and most places in flyover country, before beautiful capitalism, had no way at all to get their hands on snooty big city things like espresso and trade paperbacks.
Yup, right there with ya man. I grew up in a flyover state that had only shitty coffee and not a whole lotta trade paperbacks. It wasn't easy. Now they have Starbucks and other, somewhat improved coffee, and Barnes & Noble's. Say what you will, they think it's great and I gotta say, it's an improvement.
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trailer to the new paul rudd has a "mis-ordering coffee" gag.
http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/08/help_me_decide_if_this_role_mo.php
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Ok so that movie looks pretty good. I'm a sucker for Paul Rudd.
Also... I really do love Starbucks mochas more than any other place. They use a slightly bitter chocolate and it just tastes less like candy and more like an espresso drink. I think they're stuff is more consistent so I occasionally go there.
That said, I'm pretty happy they started backing out of some of their stores and closing them up. The oversaturation is just crazy. In San Francisco there's one literally every 2 blocks around union square.
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the only reason i have a hard time supporting starbucks is because i enjoy strictly coffee and cream- done. i cant bring myself to spend 2-3 times more than i have to for such minimalism. sorry.
however, that does not include the seasonal lip smacker "pumpkin spice latte"...one pump, no whip!
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Now a complaint aimed at fellow Starbucks customers. If your order is more than ten words long, you should re-evaluate your life needs. That goes double if your order ends with a temperature.* That kills me!
*Unless you're ordering for a child, and then you could just say "Not too hot please, it's for a kid"
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Now a complaint aimed at fellow Starbucks customers. If your order is more than ten words long, you should re-evaluate your life needs. That goes double if your order ends with a temperature.* That kills me!
*Unless you're ordering for a child, and then you could just say "Not too hot please, it's for a kid"
Yeah, agreed. Having worked at a Starbucks before, I was able to design my drink to my liking (certain amounts of syrup, etc), but if I were ever to order it at a store, I'd just get a regular. I'm not going to bug people by giving an order that's easy to screw up (because it's' so specific) and look like a douche when it's just a cup of tea/coffee.
I saw that new Paul Rudd trailer before Pineapple Express and am delighted to see Mr. Bobb'E J. Thompson is getting work. He's probably the best part of that trailer.
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Also, there's absolutely no need for TWO tea bags in a large tea. What is this, a contest? It's tea!!
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Now a complaint aimed at fellow Starbucks customers. If your order is more than ten words long, you should re-evaluate your life needs. That goes double if your order ends with a temperature.* That kills me!
*Unless you're ordering for a child, and then you could just say "Not too hot please, it's for a kid"
Jon, you order coffee for your kids? No wonder they look so exuberant.
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Also, there's absolutely no need for TWO tea bags in a large tea. What is this, a contest? It's tea!!
YES
I have so many starbucks tea bags just floating around my backpack. I can't stand to waste them!
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Now a complaint aimed at fellow Starbucks customers. If your order is more than ten words long, you should re-evaluate your life needs. That goes double if your order ends with a temperature.* That kills me!
*Unless you're ordering for a child, and then you could just say "Not too hot please, it's for a kid"
Jon, you order coffee for your kids? No wonder they look so exuberant.
well he's certainly not letting them watch Dark Knight. but he'll bring small pleasures to them until that day.
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I saw that new Paul Rudd trailer before Pineapple Express and am delighted to see Mr. Bobb'E J. Thompson is getting work. He's probably the best part of that trailer.
Off Topic: Bobby J is by far the best part! That kid is gonna take over the world some day. McLovin doing this as his next big thing seems to be a tricky choice though. That particular dweeb typecasting could last for yeaaars, if it isn't a unique enough film.
On Topic: I used to be a starbucks subsidiary barista. I really didn't care for it, due to the clientele who are nothing at all like the commercials. For the large part caffeine addicts are just like twitchy, legal, crack heads, without the reverence for their dealers or the need to dance.
The scariest part about that company to me was a scene at the very end of their training video. In it, we start at a birds eye view of scenic nature then slowly zoom out to fix on a shot of the earth from space. As the narrator espouses at length the virtues of the Starbucks corporation, the globe begins to morph into a gigantic, planetary starbucks logo. It was honestly bone chilling in its implications.
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Now a complaint aimed at fellow Starbucks customers. If your order is more than ten words long, you should re-evaluate your life needs. That goes double if your order ends with a temperature.* That kills me!
*Unless you're ordering for a child, and then you could just say "Not too hot please, it's for a kid"
Jon, you order coffee for your kids? No wonder they look so exuberant.
well he's certainly not letting them watch Dark Knight. but he'll bring small pleasures to them until that day.
Haven't you wiseguys heard of a hot cocoa? Although my daughter does seem to like the sips of coffee we give her. And wine.
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I saw that new Paul Rudd trailer before Pineapple Express and am delighted to see Mr. Bobb'E J. Thompson is getting work. He's probably the best part of that trailer.
Off Topic: Bobby J is by far the best part! That kid is gonna take over the world some day. McLovin doing this as his next big thing seems to be a tricky choice though. That particular dweeb typecasting could last for yeaaars, if it isn't a unique enough film.
I thought he was great in Superbad for a debut role with no acting experience. Seeing that trailer makes me feel like he could very easily become the next Jon Heder. His next big role is in Year One, which has a great cast (Michael Cera, David Cross, Paul Rudd, Hank Azaria, & Oliver Platt), so I guess we'll have to see.
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I'd kinda forgotten about this thread because I never visit Starbucks when I'm at home. However, I'm in Louisville on a business trip and my local coffee place obviously isn't around, so I went into Starbucks yesterday, ordered a medium whatever, and immediately felt like a jerk when she corrected me.
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Did she correct you or did she just call out your order in a different way while writing it on the cup? Cuz that's what happened to me yesterday...
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Did she correct you or did she just call out your order in a different way while writing it on the cup? Cuz that's what happened to me yesterday...
She was nice about it. She just said it correctly when reading the order back to me.