FOT Forum
FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: erika on August 14, 2008, 04:20:37 PM
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"Is that chocolate or rat poop?"
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Rough start in the new pad?
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Haha no I'm at work. The new pad only has rats outside. The downfalls of old buildings in the city.
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"I wonder what would happen if I stuck my finger in there?"
Dammit, it gets me into trouble every time.
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"Should I be this drunk at work?"
:-\
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"Did the guy who thinks he has rabies just drink out of my bottle, and does that matter?"
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"And exactly how much is this fistulectomy going to set me back, doctor?"
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"what can I do with all these left over enema kits, without actually giving myself an enema?"
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"but if i do it quick enough, i'll make it."
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"Is that chocolate or rat poop?"
Just call it "something French" and be done with it!
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"but if i do it quick enough, i'll make it."
I am sorry, Mr Trabek says you did not state that in the form of a question.
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Here's one I asked in college:
"Who puked on the dishes?"
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"but if i do it quick enough, i'll make it."
I am sorry, Mr Trabek says you did not state that in the form of a question.
thanks, dave...youre right. it should have said, "you think if i do this quick enough i'll make it?"
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are those maggots in my toenail wound?
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ANDY!!!!
NO!!!!
*I'm gagging*
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yeah, mine wasn't real.
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I figured but just the thought of it was enough to bring on the gags.
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true story
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"Has the statute of limitations run out yet?"
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"You're not married, are you?"
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"You're not married, are you?"
"Pregnant, huh? Uhhhh, did we last go out in November or February?"
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"You're not married, are you?"
"Pregnant, huh? Uhhhh, did we last go out in November or February?"
Dave, I hope that wasn't preceded by "Are you sure you're 18?"
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"You're not married, are you?"
"Pregnant, huh? Uhhhh, did we last go out in November or February?"
Dave, I hope that wasn't preceded by "Are you sure you're 18?"
it was preceded by, "are you sure i'm the right Dave?"
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"You're not married, are you?"
"Pregnant, huh? Uhhhh, did we last go out in November or February?"
Dave, I hope that wasn't preceded by "Are you sure you're 18?"
it was preceded by, "are you sure i'm the right Dave?"
or "You're Dateline NBC's Chris Hansen, aren't you?"
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"Do you think that garage fire will reach our house?"
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(To my roommates, before I head back to school tomorrow):
"Exactly how much of the kitchen is flooded?"
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"Are we really watching (either "Animal Planet" or "HGTV") again tonight?
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You did backup first, right?
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"So it's a serial killer zombie movie centered around Mixed Martial Arts?"
(sorry, Raad_Man, couldn't resist)
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You did backup first, right?
Oh yes.
Even better: "Shit. Did I back that up?"
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"Now, what did I come in here for?"
And its corollary: "Now, what was that thing I was supposed to remember?"
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"Now, what did I come in here for?"
And its corollary: "Now, what was that thing I was supposed to remember?"
A few weeks ago, some lady I interviewed asked, "Now, exactly what job am I interviewing for?"
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"it's only _:__ o'clock?!"
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me on the phone 10 minutes ago to HR:
ME: my last day here is September 17th, so how much are COBRA benefits?
HR: $960
ME: !@#$!@$@#$!@@#
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"How did the dogs get loose this time?"
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"Who farted?"
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Are they legally allowed to drill this early in the morning?
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Are they legally allowed to drill this early in the morning?
yes
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"Are these tennis shorts? You're sure they're not underwear?"
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why didn't my podiatrist give me a local aesthetic before he pulled my stiches?
also, why must my toe bleed so much?
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Now that we've showered, can we please walk back to the church [where my college pre-orientation program is staying] on an actual road?
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Oh yeah,
"Dude, you have athletes foot? I think I got it in your shower."
The couch-surfer's communicable disease.
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Oh yeah,
"Dude, you have athletes foot? I think I got it in your shower."
The couch-surfer's communicable disease.
You, sir, have successfully grossed me out a little.
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You, sir, have successfully grossed me out a little.
You're grossed out?!?! I'm wearing my sneakers in the shower!
C!
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So, all these people I want to get together with because I haven't seen them in a long time are getting together to watch UFC?
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in that same vein: "You like UFC?!"
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"Hey, how is this sticking to the wall?"
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"How can McCain still be close?"
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How can people be so stupid?
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How do I get this thing to stay in?
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How do I get this thing to stay in?
Where's that Shameful, Off-The-Record Replies thread when I really need it?! Now I'm gonna just have to bite my fist like a '60s insult comic.
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why do I sign up for so much shit?
why can't I just be happy playing video games in my free time?
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At what point should apply a medicated ointment?
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Did I have that mole last year?
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You can tell by how deep it's tunnel is and how many of your crops it's eaten... the more crops, the greater the possibility of it having a family.
(http://www.dumville.org/photos/mole_3a.jpg)
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How do I get this thing to stay in?
Where's that Shameful, Off-The-Record Replies thread when I really need it?! Now I'm gonna just have to bite my fist like a '60s insult comic.
Haha. Though I think the actual context of the question is maybe a little worse than the joke you have in mind.
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Why did I try to defend my 2000 Nader vote while drunk on tequila?
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Why did I try to put up that tent while drunk on tequila?
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While trying to defend that vote, to boot.
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Why did I try to put up that tent while drunk on tequila?
Dang close. Why did I try to take that tent down while hungover from tequila? Maybe that ER visit was to be expected.
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"should I rinse out the spit first before I throw this away?"
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"should I rinse out the spit first before I throw this away?"
Depends. Have they taken the sample already?
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oh, emma, I wish it were that simple.
today: "where's your flesh tooth?"
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"How many more a cappella groups are going to be singing?"
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"Is the girl sitting next to me at the bar talking to me only doing so to make her large skinhead boyfriend jealous?"
(answer: yes)
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"why dont you east in front in front me me?"
(from the mouth of my best pal, Julie "apotatojudge" Self)
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Is it really as creepy for a guy as old as me to be hanging out here as fotchan.com claims it is?
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I've been asking myself this question since I became a FOT. Usually, my answer is, "Yes, but who cares?"
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Is it really as creepy for a guy as old as me to be hanging out here as fotchan.com claims it is?
I don't think so. But then again you hardly ever try to flirt with me.
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how the fuck did I shoot a 101 today? why can't I hit my drive worth a shit?
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Why did I drink so much on a Sunday night? WHY!?!
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Did the cannibal finally chew his way out of the trash can?
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"Is Dusti in this issue of Jailbirds?"
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"how long 'til this staples cleans this human feces from the sidewalk in front of their store?"
answer:13 days, although they never did clean it. it just evaporated. worst part, I saw it get deposited. worster part, I was on my way to work. worstest part, it was christmas eve.
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worstestest part: it was Santa.
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worstestest part: it was Mrs Santa.
Fixed
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worstestest part: it was Mrs Santa.
Fixed
Bravo.
worstestest part: it was Santa.
Bravoer.
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"Is this guy for real?"
I posted something on the "free stuff" section of craigslist, and this guy, I won't give his whole email address but it has "skillz" in it, writes:
"o ok neva mind den thanks anywayz"
Which was after:
"Wil this fit a queend size funton mattress and where is is riped and how badd is it riped and can it still close up properkly on the mattress."
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As a frequent Craigslist-free-stuff-giver-awayer, I never give my email address. I usually put the junk outside and provide directions on how to get it. Once I see it's gone, I take down the ad.
Once I got some people to take away a huge pile of rotten mulch. That was great. Another time I had all these bricks. This one couple drove like 90 mph from the next town over to pick up these precious bricks within 15 minutes of my posting the ad.
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"Is that bigger than it was last week?"
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I think that's the way to go, yesno. I wanted to donate everything to the Salvation Army but they only come around here once a month (and they just came). I guess I'll just put everything out and put up a curb alert. It's just so satisfying to find people who could actually use your stuff.
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Yeah... Salvation Army is pretty picky about the furniture they'll take.
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"Why are her hands so large and hairy?"
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Yeah apparently metal is against their "code." Cannot fathom why. If anything I would think wood would be because it could have bedbugs or something.