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FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: Andy on September 29, 2008, 05:30:16 PM

Title: master cleanse
Post by: Andy on September 29, 2008, 05:30:16 PM
who's coming with me?
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Martin on September 29, 2008, 05:46:57 PM
Please explain
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Andy on September 29, 2008, 06:01:41 PM
I kind of just want to see if I can do it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_cleanse
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Spoony on September 29, 2008, 06:03:08 PM
I know what he's talking about. Run Martin! Run like hell!

I tried it earlier this summer, and it was the biggest waste of health I've ever experienced.

You eat nothing for ten days, except for a concoction of water, lemon juice and maple syrup (not unpleasant, that concoction) and guzzle salt water in the morning, and drink laxative tea at night. The idea is to flush everything out of your body. You know, poo...chemicals..."toxins."

But really all you do is lose all your water weight and become a space case from the drop in blood sugar. And then you probably get the flu. "But it's the toxins leaving your body!" someone with a beard might say. Nope, your immune system is shot from having nothing to run on.

Please don't do this to yourself.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Martin on September 29, 2008, 06:13:00 PM
I'm running, I'm running!
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Andy on September 29, 2008, 06:18:23 PM
I heard its awesome and spoony just wants to hog I all for himself.

spoony- can you drink as much water as you want, or are you limited to the 6 drinks a day?
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Julie on September 29, 2008, 06:35:06 PM
Enough cheap liquor will clean you right out. And I'm suspicious of any cleansing that doesn't include pureed spinach and oranges. I will do the monkey diet cleanse, though. Anyone up for that?
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Spoony on September 29, 2008, 06:41:39 PM
(http://www.uncrate.com/men/images/2007/05/skeletor-pirate-tee.jpg)

I have achieved Skeleton Power and no one else may possess it!

You can drink as much water or lemon-juice mix as you want, but after a few days, you're still going to be walking into traffic.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Julie on September 29, 2008, 06:47:05 PM
(http://www.uncrate.com/men/images/2007/05/skeletor-pirate-tee.jpg)

I have achieved Skeleton Power and no one else may possess it!

You can drink as much water or lemon-juice mix as you want, but after a few days, you're still going to be walking into traffic.

Don't be a fool! This lemon water thing is child's play.

What about a bulemic cleanse?
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: cutout on September 29, 2008, 08:34:10 PM
C'mon guys.


http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/gastro.html

http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2006/07/your_friday_dose_of_woo_mere_regularity_1.php

http://www.ncahf.org/articles/c-d/colonic.html
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Gilly on September 29, 2008, 08:37:33 PM
Somebody watched The Office debut.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Spoony on September 29, 2008, 08:47:21 PM
Oh, I am decidedly in the Anti-Cleanse category. Please don't think I'm advocating this.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Andy on September 29, 2008, 08:56:17 PM
we have a guy in our office that's doing it.  his name is Kelly.

Seriously, now I just want to see if I can pull i off.  I know that any kind of fad diet/cleansing is too good to be true.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: yesno on September 29, 2008, 09:19:07 PM
if you're a beer drinker and stop, you'll lose 10 to 20 lbs and keep it off.

Another way to lose weight is rails/cigarettes.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: John Junk 2.0 on September 29, 2008, 09:20:46 PM
Also, what if it actually worked.  What then?  Stop eating?  You don't wanna muck yourself up again!  

My feeling is that people who get into this stuff are really just in the market for some kind of onanistic anal and/or scatological fetish that they can't get a handle on, and this is a socially acceptable way of exploring.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Andy on September 29, 2008, 09:20:59 PM
I don't really drink at all.  I just eat too much.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Gilly on September 29, 2008, 09:21:51 PM
if you're a beer drinker and stop, you'll lose 10 to 20 lbs and keep it off.


I thought that's been proven wrong and it's the foods you eat while drinking beer that cause the excess weight.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Andy on September 29, 2008, 09:22:36 PM
Also, what if it actually worked.  What then?  Stop eating?  You don't wanna muck yourself up again!  

My feeling is that people who get into this stuff are really just in the market for some kind of onanistic anal and/or scatological fetish that they can't get a handle on, and this is a socially acceptable way of exploring.
I can understand that with the colonics, but how would fasting have to do with an anal fetish?
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Gibby on September 29, 2008, 09:26:48 PM
A friend of mine and I did this: http://www.colonblow.com/

Recommended for stories.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: John Junk 2.0 on September 29, 2008, 09:28:53 PM
Also, what if it actually worked.  What then?  Stop eating?  You don't wanna muck yourself up again!  

My feeling is that people who get into this stuff are really just in the market for some kind of onanistic anal and/or scatological fetish that they can't get a handle on, and this is a socially acceptable way of exploring.
I can understand that with the colonics, but how would fasting have to do with an anal fetish?

Well, doesn't "cleansing" involve a lot of blowing-shit-out-your-ass?  You know, you like blowing cayenne pepper water out of your butt and you like finding weird bottom-shelf colonic detritus in your toilet that doesn't even resemble what we'd call "poop".  Jeez, do I have to spell everything out for you?
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Andy on September 29, 2008, 09:31:28 PM
I don't plan on going through my shit. 
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Pat K on September 29, 2008, 09:34:34 PM
I spent about a week with a friend who was doing this and he was not too far off from Spoony's description, with the sole exception of him also sleeping about 16 hours a day. Because of the whole "no food" thing. I think it's safe to say that he will actually live a shorter and not longer time because of it.

So in summation, pass the syrup!
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: yesno on September 29, 2008, 09:37:26 PM
gilly, I quit drinking 2 1/2 years ago and lost about 25 lbs which has stayed off. If it's for some reason other than actual reduced caloric intake from booze, to me that's a distinction without a difference.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Andy on September 29, 2008, 09:39:23 PM
I was trying to act like I'm not excited, but I just cannot wait to see what my shit is going to look like.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Gibby on September 29, 2008, 09:45:30 PM
I was trying to act like I'm not excited, but I just cannot wait to see what my shit is going to look like.

If it's anything like Colonblow, a DNA double helix made of peanut brittle.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Julie on September 29, 2008, 09:51:16 PM
if you're a beer drinker and stop, you'll lose 10 to 20 lbs and keep it off.

Another way to lose weight is rails/cigarettes.

That cigarette thing is a bunch of effing bullshit! "Size 10 or Lung Cancer?" Well, that was pretty exciting when I heard that and instead of smoking just to combat second hand smoke at bars, I ramped up the tobacco smoke intake. I'm not making this up, either! I'm so pissed off because in the past year, I've become addicted to cigarettes and I haven't lost one effing pound. GOD DAMN CIGARETTE MARKETERS!
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Pat K on September 29, 2008, 11:07:54 PM
if you're a beer drinker and stop, you'll lose 10 to 20 lbs and keep it off.

Another way to lose weight is rails/cigarettes.

That cigarette thing is a bunch of effing bullshit! "Size 10 or Lung Cancer?" Well, that was pretty exciting when I heard that and instead of smoking just to combat second hand smoke at bars, I ramped up the tobacco smoke intake. I'm not making this up, either! I'm so pissed off because in the past year, I've become addicted to cigarettes and I haven't lost one effing pound. GOD DAMN CIGARETTE MARKETERS!

Yeah, I always figured that any weight loss incurred from smoking is just evened out by the lack of activity and exercise that comes from losing your endurance and lung capacity.

Still doesn't stop me though.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Beth on September 30, 2008, 12:07:43 AM
I started smoking because all the girls in my ballet company did. They told me it kept the weight off. I'm not sure if it was that, the 15 hours of classes a week, the eating disorders we all clearly had, or a combination of all three. In any case, I quit ballet when I turned 17. I decided I'd rather have boobs and eat cheese than kill myself in order to possibly become a soloist.

I'm unfortunately still battling the cigarette thing, but I smoke like a pack a month so I'm probably okay.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: daveB from Oakland on September 30, 2008, 12:16:37 AM
I started smoking because all the girls in my ballet company did. They told me it kept the weight off. I'm not sure if it was that, the 15 hours of classes a week, the eating disorders we all clearly had, or a combination of all three. In any case, I quit ballet when I turned 17. I decided I'd rather have boobs and eat cheese than kill myself in order to possibly become a soloist.

I'm unfortunately still battling the cigarette thing, but I smoke like a pack a month so I'm probably okay.

Ballet is f-ed up. I saw a public tv thing about the damages ballet does ... they interviewed this one lady. Gorgeous, beautiful woman. Then they did a closeup on her feet when she took her slippers off. Ack! Bruised, gnarled hideous feet. Who's the sadist that invented ballet?
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Beth on September 30, 2008, 12:32:04 AM
I started smoking because all the girls in my ballet company did. They told me it kept the weight off. I'm not sure if it was that, the 15 hours of classes a week, the eating disorders we all clearly had, or a combination of all three. In any case, I quit ballet when I turned 17. I decided I'd rather have boobs and eat cheese than kill myself in order to possibly become a soloist.

I'm unfortunately still battling the cigarette thing, but I smoke like a pack a month so I'm probably okay.

Ballet is f-ed up. I saw a public tv thing about the damages ballet does ... they interviewed this one lady. Gorgeous, beautiful woman. Then they did a closeup on her feet when she took her slippers off. Ack! Bruised, gnarled hideous feet. Who's the sadist that invented ballet?

Louis XIV. But he didn't invent pointe shoes. That credit, it is rumored, goes to the father of the dancer Maria Taglioni, who choreographed a ballet to be danced en pointe especially for his daughter. The story goes that she had a gigantic nose, and he wished to draw the attention away, to her feet.
I wouldn't say all of ballet is f-ed up, no more than any other sport. It's very very VERY competitive, especially when you attend a dance school that feeds directly into a company, like I did. They're prepping you from day one (and in most cases, day one means age 5 or 6).  Athletes do horrendous things to their bodies to compete with others.
I found my experience to be that of an art  dominated by women, but ruled by misogynistic men. Very talented men (ahem, George Balanchine) but misogynistic nonetheless. I quit partly because my heart wasn't in it, and partly because I knew I'd never make it to principle dancer (very few do).  I still love to do ballet from time to time, but in much less rigorous settings.

But enough of that, back to the cleanse. I want regular poop updates if you do this, Andy, especially if it resembles a double helix.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: John Junk 2.0 on September 30, 2008, 01:02:31 AM
[youtube]3lYQojB2zdU&hl=en&fs=1[/youtube]

Nicole could probably use a cleanse.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Shaggy 2 Grote on September 30, 2008, 01:26:09 AM
I've thought about this, but there's no way I'm giving up caffeine.   Try taking up ballet, Andy.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: yesno on September 30, 2008, 01:51:52 AM
if you're a beer drinker and stop, you'll lose 10 to 20 lbs and keep it off.

Another way to lose weight is rails/cigarettes.

That cigarette thing is a bunch of effing bullshit! "Size 10 or Lung Cancer?" Well, that was pretty exciting when I heard that and instead of smoking just to combat second hand smoke at bars, I ramped up the tobacco smoke intake. I'm not making this up, either! I'm so pissed off because in the past year, I've become addicted to cigarettes and I haven't lost one effing pound. GOD DAMN CIGARETTE MARKETERS!

I notice you don't gainsay rails.

Also, meth is a good way to lose not only weight, but teeth.  Which in turn makes it harder to eat, which makes you lose more weight.... win/win!
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Spoony on September 30, 2008, 09:52:18 AM
I dropped dairy out of my diet and shed a few pounds right off the bat. Neil Numberman gave me some good advice, to never eat after ten. (But why were the evil Gremlins so much more svelt?) I've also laid off the bourbon and switched to the clear stuff if I'm out. In combo, all of this has had some good results.

A friend of mine just switched his routine to a bowl of cereal in the morning and a salad for lunch, and he dropped alot of weight.

C
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Martin on September 30, 2008, 09:57:18 AM
I've stopped using sugar in my tea. Stopped buying candy too. And I don't eat bread anymore. And as I was saying in that exercise thread, I might buy an exercise bike.

I guess we'll see what happens.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: jbissell on September 30, 2008, 10:49:06 AM
if you're a beer drinker and stop, you'll lose 10 to 20 lbs and keep it off.


I'd agree with this, since I've been out of school and my drinking has dropped to minimal levels there's definitely been a change.  Cutting out soda works wonders too.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Julie on September 30, 2008, 10:53:42 AM
if you're a beer drinker and stop, you'll lose 10 to 20 lbs and keep it off.

Another way to lose weight is rails/cigarettes.

That cigarette thing is a bunch of effing bullshit! "Size 10 or Lung Cancer?" Well, that was pretty exciting when I heard that and instead of smoking just to combat second hand smoke at bars, I ramped up the tobacco smoke intake. I'm not making this up, either! I'm so pissed off because in the past year, I've become addicted to cigarettes and I haven't lost one effing pound. GOD DAMN CIGARETTE MARKETERS!

I notice you don't gainsay rails.

Also, meth is a good way to lose not only weight, but teeth.  Which in turn makes it harder to eat, which makes you lose more weight.... win/win!

I have no experience with rails or meth. Or anything along those lines. Thank goodness I was afraid of them, because I'm sure I would have liked them and I'd be an absolute mess right now instead of a normal, functioning adult.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: yesno on September 30, 2008, 10:58:58 AM
I've stopped using sugar in my tea. Stopped buying candy too. And I don't eat bread anymore. And as I was saying in that exercise thread, I might buy an exercise bike.

I guess we'll see what happens.

Herring can be somewhat fattening I hear.  Not to mention gravlax.

I enjoy exercise because it makes me feel better.  I don't know that it actually helps me lose any weight.  I don't really need to lose weight right now, but maybe it does help my fat not just gather at my midsection.  I also have experience with gaining weight from exercise, 10 years ago when I was really thin.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Bryan on September 30, 2008, 11:09:13 AM
if you're a beer drinker and stop, you'll lose 10 to 20 lbs and keep it off.


I'd agree with this, since I've been out of school and my drinking has dropped to minimal levels there's definitely been a change.  Cutting out soda works wonders too.

Yep, me too. I haven't quit - just realized that 2 or 3 beers every single night is a dumb and unnecessary habit. Have returned to weekend indulging rather than habitual drinking, and my gut receded in no time.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Turf Out on September 30, 2008, 11:45:54 AM
if you're a beer drinker and stop, you'll lose 10 to 20 lbs and keep it off.


I'd agree with this, since I've been out of school and my drinking has dropped to minimal levels there's definitely been a change.  Cutting out soda works wonders too.

Yep, me too. I haven't quit - just realized that 2 or 3 beers every single night is a dumb and unnecessary habit. Have returned to weekend indulging rather than habitual drinking, and my gut receded in no time.

i've cut down on beer a lot in the past 2 months and i'm noticing a change already! yay for me.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: iAmBaronVonTito on September 30, 2008, 12:58:17 PM
no beer, no soda, no bread, minimal dairy, no smoking, no eating 3 hours before bed, and ive started exercising.  i started to drink strictly water and only non-concentrate juices. 

i think the exercise will make the biggest difference.  not to mention, im not always the best at making healthy food decisions (especially when im feeling particularly lazy).  there is PLENTY of unhealthy vegetarian food to go around, but when im home i prefer pasta with fresh garlic and pepper, extra virgin olive oil, and squash/red peppers. 



of course, none of these things were in effect this last week.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Bryan on September 30, 2008, 01:04:05 PM
What's so bad about bread? I could never give it up.

Couldn't you at least eat bread made with good, non-refined flours?
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Andy on September 30, 2008, 01:20:20 PM
I think the answer to your last question is yes.  It seems like I've heard that most breads are just empty calories because the ingredients are stripped of all of their nutritional values, but I'm probably wrong.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: AllisonLeGnome on September 30, 2008, 04:43:58 PM
I've been doing pretty well on the "live on a hill and have a broken refrigerator" diet/exercise plan.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Pat K on September 30, 2008, 04:51:24 PM
I've been doing pretty well on the "live on a hill and have a broken refrigerator" diet/exercise plan.

You know, now that I think of it, my "Live in the south and have no air conditioning for half the summer" regimen from a couple of years ago turned out some pretty good results.
Title: Re: master cleanse
Post by: Cotton on September 30, 2008, 10:43:47 PM
A friend of mine and I did this: http://www.colonblow.com/

Recommended for stories.

what, no super Colon Blow?