FOT Forum
The Best Show on WFMU => Dear Tom => Topic started by: Mo Primo on November 16, 2008, 02:13:14 AM
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Yeah, what a paranoid, condescending douchebag that moron from Illinois was. It's weird, though, how the multiracial staff of the Afrocentric satire site The Peoples News have kind of the same opinion as this wackjob. Check out the list of recent posts centered around the headline "Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names," "Black Mother First Person Arrested for Naming Her Child," and "Condi Calls for Removal of Detroit ‘Naming Rights’ Judge."
http://thepeoplesnews.wordpress.com/2008/03/02/federal-judge-enough-with-the-stupid-names/
It's like there's some kind of interracial conspiracy going on! These fools must be stopped! I mean, who the hell is anybody to challenge a parent's right to name their kids Mursaydeez, or Shahnell, or Tysunn? If they can't pronounce Mercedes like someone who actually speaks Spanish, what does it matter? It's all part of the multicultural tapestry of America, right? It's not like it's going to contribute to the further stratification and atomization of modern society or whatever. Hell, if anything, the Freds and Pattys of the world should be doing their darndest to keep step with these cultural innovators. For every child named Lablaqkweena or Ty'Rayne, there must be a Cottonelle Sloompty Spandex-Mitterand or a Nutella Framblips Kleenex-Yamamoto. It's easy... almost... formulaic, even. That kind of brave emphasis on ultra-competitive uniqueness is one of those things that I don't think we'll live to see spreading through the world, though.
Oh... wait...
http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/01/07/news/venez.php
Yeah... shame on that twit for trying to steer a perfectly good discussion about mundane popular phenomena to something "important." There's a place for that kind of self-righteous trash, and it's not on The Best Show.
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what're you, Glenn Beck?
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I'm calling for the bar to be raised on names that are like caricatures of real names. If that's where we're going, if that's the way of the future, we might as well get started early. We can make the Jessica of today look like the Esther or Gertrude of yesterday in no time flat.... I'm thinking by 2015, perhaps? ;D
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I'll pay for the plane ticket to come fight you wherever you are. Bare hands or blunt/edged weapons if you prefer.
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i'm pretty sure you just jumped to that racial conclusion. that call was stupid but it struck me as just a poor attempt at observational humor.
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What's interesting is that The Onion, a rag to which our own dear Tom has been a contributor, no less, was on top of this nonsense ten #&@%ing years ago:
Most Popular U.S. Baby names
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37014
My humble opinion is that they never pushed the joke to its logical end because they also have to live with the rest of you when you get offended... in other words... they got all squeamish about it. I pledge not to make that same mistake.
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See, the Onion can make racially-tinged jokes because it's funny.
The moron from Illinois was not.
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If you actually read the stories at The Peoples News, I think your appetite for funny will be adequately sated. Or will it? See, if you check out the forums, you'll find that there are plenty of people who are pretty much apoplectic with rage over the same thing our favorite idiot from Illinois merely paraphrased. Now, I don't know if what TPN is doing is necessarily funny, as in frivolous-harmless-entertainment funny, but I do think that it certainly is, um.... what's the word? Oh, yeah.... EFFECTIVE.
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I read this thread and then went to that blog and all I can say is, if you don't give me my minute and a half back immediately, I'm sending Trembling Eagle over to beat your nonsensical ass.
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The Causes and Consequences of Distinctively Black Names (http://ideas.repec.org/a/tpr/qjecon/v119y2004i3p767-805.html)
Among Blacks born in the last two decades, names provide a strong signal of socioeconomic status, which was not previously the case. We find, however, no negative relationship between having a distinctively Black name and later life outcomes after controlling for a child's circumstances at birth.
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I've reached yet another peak in the roller coaster ride that is my overall opinion of Trembling Eagle.
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My God. You're... you're all.... absolutely right. How dare black people satirize each other? How dare white folks laugh right alongside them? I'm going to burn all my Chris Rock CDs, like, yesterday.
*Uncontrollable sobbing*
*Sniff... sniff...*
Now.... what I find totally fascinating is that not one person (excepting Cutout) has thought about this for longer than two minutes, and have simply let predictable left-liberal reflexive rage dictate their response. Even in the case of Cutout's not-entirely-helpful link to a subscriber-only academic paper, you have a calm, reasoned appeal to PC conventional wisdom.
[Heads up to Cutout: I read Leavitt's Freakonomics, and I have been keeping tabs on the Freakonomics blog at the NYT, and I've noticed that the debate about names is not entirely dead over there, either. To wit:
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/04/25/are-distinctively-african-american-names-a-thing-of-the-past/
.... and related topic:
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/07/how-much-does-it-cost-you-in-wages-if-you-sound-black/
I would also check out John McWhorter's scholarship. He gets into related matters in his books "Losing The Race" and "Winning The Race," which are not about the naming issue per se as they are attempting to diagnose and perhaps cure larger social ills. I don't always agree with him, but he's smarter than me, and it's food for thought.]
So! There's more than one kind of socio-political orthodoxy at work here, and it's pretty clear where most of the FOT populace tends to sit, if they sit anywhere at all.
I am saying this as someone who has embodied every left-liberal-radical cliché ever and recovered. I've browbeaten myself for being the Eurocentric phallocentric oppressor, tried veganism, marched in militant gay pride rallies, fellated and buggered men, eaten out of dumpsters (but only upscale dumpsters), chopped veg and swept floors at a goddamn "anarchist" Temporary Autonomous Zone, slept among homeless in the park, first (girl) love was from Sri Lanka, subscribed to every commie pinko rag in existence, speak one Euro language with fluency and am literate in a few others, went to an insane asylum for a while, volunteered with and donated to lots of bleeding-heart causes, card-carrying Amnesty Int'l./ACLU/former AFL-CIO, went to friggin' Ani DiFranco shows with a bunch of lesbians, and, uh, dropped a ridiculous amount of cash to ensure the global supremacy and longevity of hippie-noise station WFMU, because like any good full-of-shit liberal-leftist, I have inherited some money. Oh, and I voted for Obama in the primaries and the general election, and helped vote him into office as a senator. (I could go on, by the way. I am the cliché incarnate.)
So, I'm just saying, I've paid my dues as a liberal batshit lunatic.
AND YET.
I haven't drunk all of that particular batch of magic Kool-Aid.
I retain the right to a moderately conservative opinion regarding the phenomenon of people disrespecting their children with ridiculous names. It is a trend that does not bode well for us, I fear. I am not alone in that regard.
On the other hand, I fancy myself a pragmatist, so I am fully prepared to take that road, but only on the condition that we become much more creative and wacky and even, ugh, ironic, about the whole business. :P
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I've worked for 6 Republican presidential administrations and have won the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences for my work advocating the elimination of government handouts to welfare queens. I am a proud Son of the Old South. I have inherited a small fortune derived from selling arms to South Africa under apartheid. I have small stable of smooth asian boys with whom I take my pleasure, yet I donated over $100,000 to support Prop 8: because it's not "gay" if you're on top. I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. (Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.) I type these very words from a National Review-sponsored cruise.
I have drunk all of that particular batch of magic Kool-Aid.
AND YET.
I retain the right to point out that you're a dink.
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I retain the right to point out that you're a dink.
Dink... hunt?
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Aaaaaaaaaaand there's the end of the fight, Mo Primo has been knocked out of the ring by a truly crushing ad hominem from Will "Yum-Yum" F. Bukkleigh... some dude who looks like a lady has stepped in to ref the fight.... what's that? Mo Primo is crawling back into the ring? Does this fool have a death wish? Doesn't he realize that he is considered persona non grata here?
Oh... right... the discussion didn't go anywhere except BACK TO JUNIOR HIGH.
Try again. Try harder. Put some thought into it.... and provide something in the way of insight. I actually want to hear from Cutout again. He's probably the only serious one here. I could concede defeat if he could prove conclusively that naming your child YuNeeq or Sha'Wayne or Apple or Gimbulops is not a complete travesty, another step towards Idiocracy. Seriously, do we want Upgrayedd? Do we? Tom said something on the last show about how we need to grow up, having a grown-up president now, and all... how about it?
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I read approximately 20 seconds of this thread, can someone summarize it for me?
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I wish I could, emma. I'm speechless.
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Will "Yum-Yum" F. Bukkleigh
(http://img33.picoodle.com/img/img33/3/11/16/f_rightkaputnm_c3ff863.jpg)
You might give Spike a run for the money.
(http://img33.picoodle.com/img/img33/3/11/16/f_11036180x24m_30a3296.jpg)
Send in your application quickly!
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Mo Primo, I think you'd have more success at making your points if your posts were longer. I'd say shoot for 3 or 4 times as long to start, and then move upwards from there. I think a minimum of 3000 words would guarantee that you'd be taken very seriously.
Thanks,
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I think what Dubner's written on the subject is interesting and I do think it's unfortunate that certain parents potentially jeopardize their children's (and their own) dignity by assigning really stupid names. I don't feel particularly racist for saying so, and neither should you.
At the same time, I'm not sure why you're grinding the axe so loudly. I can't remember the original call very well, but I think Tom insinuated the guy was a "crypto-racist" or something. If you've heard the show more than once, you'll know that's half the joke - Tom always pretends to interpret comments as infuriating or offensive just so he can give them a heave-ho. Most of the radio show is hinged on this idea. The number of callers who's been jokingly characterized as racists is endless. So if you started this discussion in total sincerity, I can kind of appreciate where you're coming from, but I think you're misunderstanding Tom's response.
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a white person posts like this, but a black person posts like THIS, and mo primo posts like shit
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Cutout, I hugely appreciate your Smooth 'N' Mild responses, but showing this kind of patience and willingness to engage in dialogue is seriously going to endanger my dreams of being permaGOMP'd from the FOTrums and The Best Show as a whole.
Shall we summon The Great Crotchety One to arbitrate? I mean, not that each one of you who have responded didn't "bring the crotch," as the kids say, but I'm thinking that this mess requires no less than the presence of Poppa T.
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Cutout, I hugely appreciate your Smooth 'N' Mild responses, but showing this kind of patience and willingness to engage in dialogue is seriously going to endanger my dreams of being permaGOMP'd from the FOTrums and The Best Show as a whole.
Shall we summon The Great Crotchety One to arbitrate? I mean, not that each one of you who have responded didn't "bring the crotch," as the kids say, but I'm thinking that this mess requires no less than the presence of Poppa T.
"Smooth 'N' Mild responses?"
"permaGOMP'd"
"FOTrums"
It's not quite Spikese, but it's really really close, and really really annoying.
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I read approximately 20 seconds of this thread, can someone summarize it for me?
It's the best thread ever?
I don't know about you but
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Cutout, I hugely appreciate your Smooth 'N' Mild responses, but showing this kind of patience and willingness to engage in dialogue is seriously going to endanger my dreams of being permaGOMP'd from the FOTrums and The Best Show as a whole.
Shall we summon The Great Crotchety One to arbitrate? I mean, not that each one of you who have responded didn't "bring the crotch," as the kids say, but I'm thinking that this mess requires no less than the presence of Poppa T.
I was all ready to reason with you, then I read this. How many times do you go back through your post and change your verbiage in an attempt to "funny it up"? I bet a lot. I also get the impression you are a white male who gets frustrated with black culture for reasons that have no impact on you personally, which does indeed makes you at least a little racist, regardless of this unrelated liberalism you proclaim. These are just tentative guesses however, not judgments.
Now my only halfway reasonable answer to your query is that names are as individualistic as any other outward attributes we assign to ourselves and our children, like haircuts or clothing. In that, it's something completely harmless and well intentioned that you really can't do much about, nor should you. Besides that, it's beyond none of your business what names people find worthy of embodiment, particularly if you aren't a part of the culture that doesn't have any problem with it at all. If you don't like it, you can go name your kid Bill and eat a bologna sandwich on a porch with it. In short: I may not like the purple satin drapes in your mom's house, but that doesn't mean I won't wipe off on them after sodomizing her, before sodomizing you, after you have both been beaten senseless by Trembling Eagle, while Jason watches all of it and writes a play about it. Because I have respect for your culture.
Now, if you were 100% kidding about all the things you said, then I have to agree with whoever said that this is just a tired, worn-out joke, which is no longer acceptable as "humor" for those reasons, so why hammer it home. Honestly, it never really was any good, aside from the 2 months in 1989 when the first woman named her baby Mylanta and comedians could get away with it for a brief moment before it became even more cliche than your resume.
Do take note; I made this post really long, even longer than my other long boring posts, to let you know what it feels like to read your own long, cringeworthy posts on this thread. You could learn a lot from some of the other weirdos who've become beloved around here, just clean it up a little bit, realize when you are bordering on hacky and tone it down some. Either that or just go ahead and push the arrow through and hope nobody dies from the blood loss.
What with the giant truck nuts on you, you could soon become someone I want to read more posts from! Right now, I don't like your tone. That's straight from the horses mouth (me being the horse in that scenario).
PS: I just looked at those articles that you posted, and am not surprised to find that one was basically just an opinion piece authored by some white guy (imagine that!), and the second was just an explanation that the story about the judge jailing a woman over naming her baby was a myth. Did you even read past the headlines?
The sole point made in the first article is based on a study that very bluntly decided sounding black on the telephone is a professional hindrance. This study had nothing to do with their names, or anything of the sort. Even though that study made a point I would not disagree with, it's a huge stretch to rope that guys call last week into this not even 'crypto' racist argument. J'accuse, sir, of posting nonsense articles to make your white supremacist point. For shame. I dare you to post a .jpg of yourself in your full KKK regalia and have done with it.
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:D As I sit on mein kampfy sofa on the porch, chatting with David Duke and sipping Truly Fair Trade coffee (harvested by an elite cadre of genetically engineered super-slaves and fertilized with the ground up flesh and bones of my mud-race enemies) waving heil to Caucasian passers-by only, I fiendishly giggle at the thought of my underlings in the Bureau of Misinformation and the Department of False Satire churning out op-ed after op-ed which only appear to attack things which don't make sense but whose real purpose is to completely demoralize the untermenschen who stand in my way.
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That sentence is clearly not long enough.
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and FOTchan was bad?
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Don't you see? I'm trying to be like David Foster Wallace, only more racially pure. :D
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and FOTchan was bad?
No. And in all its incarnations, past and present (http://www.c-town.us), people rise to bait far less hastily.
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Let's revisit the mission statement page of TPN, which, as satire, is merely "baiting" and not doing anything like, say, pointing out nonsense which everyone has to deal with.
http://thepeoplesnews.wordpress.com/about/
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I think you need to lay off the speed, sir.
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If the more ADD-addled among you would drop some effin' Ritalin and respond like Cutout, YesNo, and Regular Joe, we could really get this party started. Otherwise, all I get is clumsy threats and "You're a poopy-head" blurtings, plus calls to make like Mamet or Hemingway.
Anyways, extra thanx to Cutout.
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Are you guys talking about ABC Family's hit original series Kyle XY?? I'm really excited about the new season!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHJxRsUOdrw&feature=related
Man! This January, I'm setting my Tivo for adventure!
Wait, you're not talking about Kyle XY?
Oh.
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...I am saying this as someone who has embodied every left-liberal-radical cliché ever and recovered...like any good full-of-shit liberal-leftist, I have inherited some money....
I would also like to suggest adding "out of touch white teacher in the hood" to the list of cliches you have tallied. Considering your hostility, you won't actually get hired--so in that case, donate your "inheritance" to a good Charter School or After-School Program. Guidestar.org will help you in your quest. Until you get things sorted out, no more speed and no more drugs cut with speed. Good luck.
I see he's trying to add "Smarmy Internet Forum Powerdouche" to his resume. Keep on truckin'!
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Yawn. Double yawn.
Notice how our most recent crop of commenters neatly, cravenly, gutlessly choose to miss the forest for the trees. The satire presented to them is simply swept under the rug. The problem doesn't exist. The absurdity can safely be ignored. It's better to fall back on the old standby of mindless name-calling. So much easier, right? Nobody gets mad about anything important that way.
Anyway, another interesting detail that isn't being discussed: My proposal to raise the bar on these names so that the process of making them the norm will be accelerated. In truth, they are ridiculous, but if that's where we must go, we can make the Todds and Emmas of today look like the Eustaces and Gladys' of yesterday pretty fast.
Extravagantly weird names..... FOR EVERYONE! HUZZAH! HUZZAH!
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Here's a serious answer: who gives a shit? People may be assholes for giving their kids stupid names, but it doesn't say anything about the kids who have been given those names except maybe that they have assholes for parents. And, historically, the real difference-makers tend to be raised by assholes, no matter what names they were given. Your point is a stupid one and you are a jerk who needs to shut up.
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Will "Yum-Yum" F. Bukkleigh
I've been thinking about this, and I think that "Wilhelm F.U. Blech-ly" would be more likely to get you in with MAD.
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Eartha Kitt - I Want To Be Evil
Refrain
I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks
I wanna be evil, and cheat at jacks
I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies
I wanna be mean, and throw mud pies
I want to wake up in the morning
with that dark brown taste
I want to see some dissipation in my face
I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad
But more that that I wanna be bad
I wanna be evil, and trump an ace,
Just to see my partner's face.
I wanna be nasty, I wanna be cruel
I wanna be daring, I wanna shoot pool
And in the theatre
I want to change my seat
Just so I can step on
Everybody's feet
I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies
I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries
I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze
(I want to be horrid, I want to make news)*
And whatever I've got I'm eager to lose
I wanna be evil, little evil me
Just as mean and evil as I can be
One of the best songs from one of the best songstresses ever.
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Yawn. Double yawn.
Notice how our most recent crop of commenters neatly, cravenly, gutlessly choose to miss the forest for the trees. The satire presented to them is simply swept under the rug. The problem doesn't exist. The absurdity can safely be ignored. It's better to fall back on the old standby of mindless name-calling. So much easier, right? Nobody gets mad about anything important that way.
Anyway, another interesting detail that isn't being discussed: My proposal to raise the bar on these names so that the process of making them the norm will be accelerated. In truth, they are ridiculous, but if that's where we must go, we can make the Todds and Emmas of today look like the Eustaces and Gladys' of yesterday pretty fast.
Extravagantly weird names..... FOR EVERYONE! HUZZAH! HUZZAH!
Yes, you're right - I didn't take you seriously because I was a COWARD. I ran like a cockroach from the harsh light of truth. But have mercy, good sir! My feeble mind may not be equipped to handle the profound gospels of Mo "The Way I See It" Primo... but I do have the capacity to learn! My parents named me Smarty Learnface for a reason! I WILL CHANGE FOR YOU. TEEEAAACCCHHHH MEEEEEEEE.
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Eartha Kitt - I Want To Be Evil
Refrain
I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks
I wanna be evil, and cheat at jacks
I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies
I wanna be mean, and throw mud pies
I want to wake up in the morning
with that dark brown taste
I want to see some dissipation in my face
I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad
But more that that I wanna be bad
I wanna be evil, and trump an ace,
Just to see my partner's face.
I wanna be nasty, I wanna be cruel
I wanna be daring, I wanna shoot pool
And in the theatre
I want to change my seat
Just so I can step on
Everybody's feet
I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies
I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries
I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze
(I want to be horrid, I want to make news)*
And whatever I've got I'm eager to lose
I wanna be evil, little evil me
Just as mean and evil as I can be
One of the best songs from one of the best songstresses ever.
One of the best songstresses ever? But how did she achieve anything in life with such a ridiculous name?
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Will "Yum-Yum" F. Bukkleigh
I've been thinking about this, and I think that "Wilhelm F.U. Blech-ly" would be more likely to get you in with MAD.
You are the best! You should change your name to yesyes.
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:D Eartha? Ridiculous? God bless her, but Eartha is positively tame and sober! We need to take it to the next level, people. I'm talking names that will make the royalty of all earthly nations look like Joe and Jane Blow from Peoria. FOR EVERYBODY. Todd, you called Smarty McLearnypants or whatever... you can have that one. It's yours. Not nearly long and weird and unpronounceable and likely to cause total communications breakdown enough for me. I'm going for the gusto with mine. I'll keep you posted. You'll need patience, because good things come to those who wait.
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No, really... what are you on?
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This clip (http://www.wfmu.org/listen.ram?show=18682&archive=26837&starttime=2:38:42&endtime=2:40:10) from The Best Show on WFMU clears the whole thing up, as usual.
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Gee, Regular Joe, it's weird how that clip pretty much epitomizes the forward-looking approach I've been suggesting... the one which everyone seems to be too chicken to actually go out and do, excepting Frank Zappa.
But now.... I want a show of hands.
How many people grew up speaking a language other than English at home? Doesn't matter which one, Polish, Chinese, Pashtun, Lithuanian, Yoruba, Norwegian, Tagalog, Arabic.... whatever.
Of those of you who are left, how many of your parents gave you a name from that language, that is to say, a non-standard-modern-Anglo name? A name that your average Peggy Smith from Dubuque would have kind of a hard time with? A name with no equivalent pronunciation in American Standard English?
Of those of you who are left, how many of you are proud of that name and the hundreds, if not thousands of years of history behind it? How many of you realize that your parents took great care in giving you this name, and placed great importance on it?
How many of you, then, upon contact with greater North America, were forced to adopt some wretchedly common nickname in order to "pass" and "get along" with your peers, to avoid being ostracized and mocked for having such a "weird" and "complicated" and "foreign" and therefore by default "gay" and "retarded" name? In short, to assimilate into the US?
How many of you went to great lengths to practice an appropriate regional pronunciation of your less-easily-concealed surname, perhaps giving it a nasal twang and twisting vowels in ways that would've made your grandparents shudder with revulsion if you did it in front of them?
In short, how many of you went to great, great lengths attempting to fit into American society, forgetting and burying your birthright, your real, true name, your parents' language, your mother-tongue, and go completely head-over-heels modern-Anglo-American?
How many of you, at this point, still feel a bitter twinge of resentment in your gut for the Jessicas and Bettys and Amys and Jims and Jakes and Jerrys, those carefree Americans with their plain and simple names, names that never aroused suspicion or confusion or flat-out hatred?
I asked for a show of hands.
Now. How many of you, after doing all this, after all this trouble, get sick to your stomach when confronted with people who treat names like interchangeable, disposable trash, or as a chance to parade a kind of cheap, pseudo-authentic, seperatist identity?
How many of you watched your parents constantly, constantly struggle to speak good English, and watched them slowly learn and improve, and feel enormous pride for them, and then live day to day with people who take that fine instrument and treat it like a worn and greasy shop tool, to be kicked and tossed around carelessly?
How many people have immediate family that came here, breaking their backs to be prosperous, well-spoken Americans with plain ol' American names, only to see people who have been here for generations treat all that effort to be American with total contempt?
As if the efforts of all recent immigrants to establish a life here were somehow completely invalidated by the things their ancestors suffered?
It's bullshit like that which makes me think about repatriating to where my parents came from. I still speak the language very well. I could get along there. Then I remember... I was born here. I feel an obligation to this country, despite its flaws. My whole life is here. Those are the cards I have been dealt.
How many of you know exactly of what I speak?
I would simply like a show of hands.
P.S. - To the idjits trying to slander me as a Klans-Wizard on crack... What I have described above is why I voted for Barack Obama THREE TIMES... he knows something about the sacrifices immigrants and their children make to put this country first, to be Americans, and to succeed as Americans. He knows, I think, what kind of crap you go through when you have a funny name in this country.
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"I'm not racist, I voted for Obama" is the new "Some of my best friends are _____". It doesn't just have to be for black people anymore!
How many of you know exactly of what I speak?
Not even YOU know what you are talking about. Who on gods green earth changes their name when they immigrate here? That may be common where you live, but I've never seen it and I voted for Obama. Nobody is less patriotic because their name isn't anglicized, the notion is utterly offensive to the fabric of this country. Considering the President we just elected, "funny names" (as you so racistly put it), are now common among the very leaders of our nation. This only further illustrates the fallacy of your argument that people have a harder time going through life with any other name than a good christian name. It just isn't true. The only one who has a harder time is you and people like you, and as well you should. Your dogma is whack and should only serve to make you look like an ass, which (thank the stars) it finally does in this day and age. Free at last.
In honesty I think you are being just being obtuse so you can troll with your white nationalist garbage, but on the slim chance you really do believe the drivel pouring out of your mouth, I feel obligated to correct you. Nobody cares if their name offends some antiquated notion held by Peggy Smith from Dubuque. Peggy Smith from Dubuque is just as ignorant as you are for wanting to continue imposing her history on everyone else in America. The problem you both share is indicated by the fact that you think being mocked is actually somehow worse than being the misguided mongoloid fuck doing the mocking. You have it 100% backwards, Cochise.
Take this personal example. My last name is the last name the slave owners who owned my dad's family gave us. I have absolutely ZERO connection to the history the name bears, so not only do I not care about this rich anglo-saxon history you simply cannot let go of, I actually resent it enough to want to change my last name to something ridiculous like Cheetos, which would be equally as arbitrary and meaningless as the brand slapped on cattle and a much cleaner start at that. I could probably even get the Frito-Lay company to pay me a ton of cash to do it.
Basically I just really think you should shut the fuck up and stop baiting reasonable people with a ridiculous argument, but far be it from me to make you stop showing up to your Klan rallies to speak your mind. Silence is just another one of those things that we don't impose on other people anymore, just like names, or opinions. You really should have known that already due to your extensive work with the ACLU.
Now get back in your time machine and go kiss a dinosaur you racist. The time of your reign is over, let the future give it a try.
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Please call in tonight, Mo Primo! Please please please!!
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OK, maybe I'm missing something here but surely any shit that arises from having a 'black name' (and I truly cringed whilst writing that) is the fault of the person giving the shit/making the insult/denying a job interview, rather than the named?
Anyway, this guy is doing his own show and we're all tuned in. Change the channel!
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Not even YOU know what you are talking about. Who on gods green earth changes their name when they immigrate here?
It's not that uncommon in my experience. My pal Kai Ling went by "Kathy" for the first 8 years she lived in N. America. My brother's girlfriend apparently hates her Portuguese name enough that she refuses to let anyone know what it is and goes by "Phyllis".
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Ok, I'll see you that, I'm sure there are plenty of people who come here with that mistaken impression of some nationally implied pressure to fit in, and change their names for that reason. I just have to add the caveat that I still don't think the pressure on immigrants to strictly use anglicized names, is as widespread as Mo Primo claims, as cultural identity is important enough to most people in this melting pot to supersede all the go-along to get-along nonsense.
So, I'm going to stop posting in this thread now, Gilly is right. My goat was gotten. Piece said!
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and FOTchan was bad?
No. And in all its incarnations, past and present (http://www.c-town.us), people rise to bait far less hastily.
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Please call in tonight, Mo Primo! Please please please!!
Uh oh. Things will take a dark turn if Tom's scheduled guest starts reading from his lists of hobo (http://e-hobo.com/hoboes/list/) and mole-men names (http://700molemen.com/list/).
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I do believe that PC will be in next week, not tonight.
Though I may be wrong.
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Ok, I'll see you that, I'm sure there are plenty of people who come here with that mistaken impression of some nationally implied pressure to fit in, and change their names for that reason. I just have to add the caveat that I still don't think the pressure on immigrants to strictly use anglicized names, is as widespread as Mo Primo claims, as cultural identity is important enough to most people in this melting pot to supersede all the go-along to get-along nonsense.
I've no proof but I would imagine a name change to fit in might be a regional thing, or possibly depending on the makeup of a specific population. My girlfriend's parents kept their Asian names when the moved to Chicago from Vietnam knowing that it wouldn't really be a problem. Recently her family moved to Kentucky and they literally doubled the Asian population of the town. Their names are constantly butchered and if they had started out in Kentucky instead of Chicago, they most likely would've adopted Anglicized names.
As far as the crazy names go, if the named have a big issue with their name, they can legally change it when they become old enough.
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Mo, please call in and discuss Bronx Mowgli Wentz.
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I maintain that the only one who really went the distance with this was Frank Zappa. Ms. Paltrow and the Simpson-Wentzes are but tattered leaves in the wind compared to this monolith. I mean, beat Dweezil, et cetera. Seriously. The bar was set a long time ago, and a challenger hath yet to approach, or catch up, or whatever.
Also... It's kind of a shame that Regular Joe dropped out of this fecal fling-fest, cuz I get the impression that he was just pissed on account of a pissant like me actually voting more times for Obama than he was legally able to do, as a resident of Washington State. Falling behind on a technicality like that has to sting a little. Also, I'd like to add that in my relatively brief span of active votership, I've probably voted for more black candidates from my district than there ARE black people in the Great Northwest, generally, not counting the Ying Yang Twins or Sir Mixalot.
So, Regular Joe, I'm not without pity on your behalf, you being like a peppercorn in a jar of mayonnaise and all. It's gotta munch nads. I suppose I can see where you might be coming from with your whole C.R.E.A.M. (Crackers Rule Everything Around Me) thing, and seeing as how you live closer to Jim Goad than I do, I can't blame you.... but... eh.... I think thou doth protest a bit much. Also! Have you changed your surname to Cheetos yet?
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Eartha Kitt - I Want To Be Evil
Refrain
I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks
I wanna be evil, and cheat at jacks
I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies
I wanna be mean, and throw mud pies
I want to wake up in the morning
with that dark brown taste
I want to see some dissipation in my face
I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad
But more that that I wanna be bad
I wanna be evil, and trump an ace,
Just to see my partner's face.
I wanna be nasty, I wanna be cruel
I wanna be daring, I wanna shoot pool
And in the theatre
I want to change my seat
Just so I can step on
Everybody's feet
I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies
I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries
I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze
(I want to be horrid, I want to make news)*
And whatever I've got I'm eager to lose
I wanna be evil, little evil me
Just as mean and evil as I can be
One of the best songs from one of the best songstresses ever.
This is by far the worst thing you've posted.
I didn't read any of the articles, I sorta glanced at the People's News thing and it seemed lame. Yes, I understand black people wrote it. I think getting upset that "stupid names" suggest a coming "Idiocracy" belies the idea that you honor names based on religious and ethnic inheritance over names based on cultural associations, secular, pop, and otherwise. These issues are more problematic for African Americans than most other groups in America for reasons that should be glaringly obvious. But it's a cultural issue and it's only as important as you make it, insomuch as it's not as important as, say, increasing acceptance of torture as a legitmate means to get information from prisoners. Therefore, when people say stuff like "you're a doo-doo head" and make fun of how long your posts are, they are justified. Seriously. I mean, Moon Unit Zappa has a dumb name, but if she's a decent person who cares? My father is an out of touch white man teaching in the inner city, and he has relayed some outrageously absurd names to me, and certainly these people haven't really been given a leg up with these names, but in certain circles, your regular-style last name will brand you as a member or outsider of one community or another,and be used as an occasion for prejudice, so in our project to be decent people we should remember that a name is not the measure of one's worth.
(http://z.about.com/d/dc/1/0/P/T/AbrahamLincoln.jpg)
Also, if you love cutout so much, why don't you marry him?
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I maintain that the only one who really went the distance with this was Frank Zappa. Ms. Paltrow and the Simpson-Wentzes are but tattered leaves in the wind compared to this monolith. I mean, beat Dweezil, et cetera. Seriously. The bar was set a long time ago, and a challenger hath yet to approach, or catch up, or whatever.
Also... It's kind of a shame that Regular Joe dropped out of this fecal fling-fest, cuz I get the impression that he was just pissed on account of a pissant like me actually voting more times for Obama than he was legally able to do, as a resident of Washington State. Falling behind on a technicality like that has to sting a little. Also, I'd like to add that in my relatively brief span of active votership, I've probably voted for more black candidates from my district than there ARE black people in the Great Northwest, generally, not counting the Ying Yang Twins or Sir Mixalot.
So, Regular Joe, I'm not without pity on your behalf, you being like a peppercorn in a jar of mayonnaise and all. It's gotta munch nads. I suppose I can see where you might be coming from with your whole C.R.E.A.M. (Crackers Rule Everything Around Me) thing, and seeing as how you live closer to Jim Goad than I do, I can't blame you.... but... eh.... I think thou doth protest a bit much. Also! Have you changed your surname to Cheetos yet?
ugh, I read this post after I posted my totally not-as-mean-as-it-should-be previous post. Way to brag about having more black people in your town than Regular Joe. And don't think I don't know you were trying to be ironic. You failed. You seem like a real asshole.
-
Eartha Kitt - I Want To Be Evil
Refrain
I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks
I wanna be evil, and cheat at jacks
I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies
I wanna be mean, and throw mud pies
I want to wake up in the morning
with that dark brown taste
I want to see some dissipation in my face
I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad
But more that that I wanna be bad
I wanna be evil, and trump an ace,
Just to see my partner's face.
I wanna be nasty, I wanna be cruel
I wanna be daring, I wanna shoot pool
And in the theatre
I want to change my seat
Just so I can step on
Everybody's feet
I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies
I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries
I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze
(I want to be horrid, I want to make news)*
And whatever I've got I'm eager to lose
I wanna be evil, little evil me
Just as mean and evil as I can be
One of the best songs from one of the best songstresses ever.
This is by far the worst thing you've posted.
I didn't read any of the articles, I sorta glanced at the People's News thing and it seemed lame. Yes, I understand black people wrote it. I think getting upset that "stupid names" suggest a coming "Idiocracy" belies the idea that you honor names based on religious and ethnic inheritance over names based on cultural associations, secular, pop, and otherwise. These issues are more problematic for African Americans than most other groups in America for reasons that should be glaringly obvious. But it's a cultural issue and it's only as important as you make it, insomuch as it's not as important as, say, increasing acceptance of torture as a legitmate means to get information from prisoners. Therefore, when people say stuff like "you're a doo-doo head" and make fun of how long your posts are, they are justified. Seriously. I mean, Moon Unit Zappa has a dumb name, but if she's a decent person who cares? My father is an out of touch white man teaching in the inner city, and he has relayed some outrageously absurd names to me, and certainly these people haven't really been given a leg up with these names, but in certain circles, your regular-style last name will brand you as a member or outsider of one community or another,and be used as an occasion for prejudice, so in our project to be decent people we should remember that a name is not the measure of one's worth.
(http://z.about.com/d/dc/1/0/P/T/AbrahamLincoln.jpg)
Also, if you love cutout so much, why don't you marry him?
I want to believe that you donned a Lincoln costume plus full prosthetic makeup and took this picture of yourself, john
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Way to brag about having more black people in your town than Regular Joe.
I'm pretty sure I've got more black people in my town than either Regular Joe or Laurie/Mo Primo, so I guess that entitles me to be really racist. I'm pretty sure it entitles me to something. A free Whopper?
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Way to brag about having more black people in your town than Regular Joe.
Laurie/Mo Primo
Wait... whuuuuuuuut?
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I'm pretty sure it entitles me to something. A free Whopper?
Be sure to go to Torino for it.
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Want to reply, but instead I'll talk a little bit about the skinhead who works at the am/pm I went to last night. When I finally got to the register, it was clear he indeed hated me (his demeanor and his racist prison tattoos said quite a bit along those lines), but as I was leaving he still said to me "thanks, have a good one".
It made me think. Why can't more white supremacists be as polite as this guy? Just because you want to see me hang is no reason be uncivil while you ring up my drink. I guess some neo-nazi's just get customer service, some don't!
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All moi can say is
Takeashita S. Lipshitz
ask me what the "S." stands for.
Stay on groovin' safari,
:o Tor Hershman :o
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Now, I can go the diplomatic route, and say that, in essence, we are having a disagreement over whether names are important or not. I say they are. Most of you say they're not. I say there's a potential for communications breakdown when names are not respected and respectable. Most of you think that view is obsolete, if not alarmist and reactionary. If I was to be civil about all this, I would say we'll simply have to agree to disagree, if you would allow it.
I have conceded that purposely confusing novelty spellings, brand names, non sequiturs, unpronounceable symbols, pop culture allusions, and generally anything never used before can and should be jammed into a name, but only on the condition that it is done aggressively and on a much wider scale, so as to hasten the onset of the inevitable future. For the most part, you have steadfastly refused this suggestion, which leaves me truly mystified. All tradition is garbage, right? Why... why aren't we... um... leaving it behind even faster? Change, you know? Like, get with the times, people!
But, yes, if I wanted to be diplomatic, I could invite, say, Regular Joe to offer his thoughts on the topic of what a person's options are when their naming tradition has been effectively erased, because that is a godforsaken tragedy that I truly would not wish upon even my enemies. I shouldn't even have to say that, but some of you think me willfully and happily blind to those circumstances.
But, see, now... I don't want to be diplomatic. Not anymore. Not in this case. I would really rather be a genuine, unrepentant asshole than a fake-ass nice guy, because you are selling nice at gunpoint, and I ain't buyin'.
Most of you, you're acting like some kind of Decency Mafia. If it was up to you, being an asshole would be flat-out illegal. It wouldn't just be unfashionable to genuinely enjoy Rotten.com, and Florence King's "With Charity Toward None: A Fond Look At Misanthropy," and Schopenhauer, and Boyd Rice, and Ambrose Bierce, and Ty Cobb, and The Exile... no, if you had your way, there would be legal repercussions for getting your kicks from them folks. I hope that you, all of you who have your tits in a twist over this whole business, I hope that you get stuck on an elevator with Doug Stanhope, Mark Ames, and Jim Goad at their most grizzled and bellicose, just so that you can die of distaste.
Having been an insufferable jagoff who needled complete strangers over trivial matters has been fun, especially when people lost their stoicism and their ability to play along with the absurdity of it all. People like that don't *deserve* diplomacy. They deserve schadenfreude!
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There's better things to do than be an asshole back to an asshole, Mo. Have a nice day reading your Jim Goad and listening to the Am Rep catalogue and loving how damn contrary you are (probable thread title on Doug Stanhope's awful, unreadable forum: 'watch me turn up on this forum and just shake their shit up!').
Meanwhile here we'll all continue to get along and think of you as a somewhat smarmy douche who'll be hopefully forgotten come next week.
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I would really rather be a genuine, unrepentant asshole than a fake-ass nice guy, because you are selling nice at gunpoint, and I ain't buyin'.
I hate people who think that being nice is phony and being a miserable dickhead is real. It all demands effort, you blowhard.
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Most of you, you're acting like some kind of Decency Mafia.
How are we the angry "mafia" in this analogy? I think the official FOT stance on weird names is: "Who gives a shit?" You're the one sounding the alarm on this, not us.
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So Decency Mafia is the new Love Nazi?
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Way to brag about having more black people in your town than Regular Joe.
I'm pretty sure I've got more black people in my town than either Regular Joe or Laurie/Mo Primo, so I guess that entitles me to be really racist. I'm pretty sure it entitles me to something. A free Whopper?
A free Dr. Pepper, actually. It's all part of the Chinese Democracy package.
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I just read this entire thread. Yeesh.
Mo Primo, if you like being the guy who shouts 'YOU PEOPLE JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT!' over and over to people who can more or less handle it, more power to you.
I do appreciate you supporting the station, which you mentioned halfway through your laundry list way back 100 pages ago.
Tom.
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Woah, I just discovered this thread. A few questions/observations:
Is Mo Primo the same person as Tor Hershman?
Is English Mo Primo's fifth language? Sixth?
This still makes me laugh:
Mo Primo, I think you'd have more success at making your points if your posts were longer. I'd say shoot for 3 or 4 times as long to start, and then move upwards from there. I think a minimum of 3000 words would guarantee that you'd be taken very seriously.
Thanks,
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Thanks, A.M. Every time I visit the boards, I pour a little bit of whatever I'm drinking on the floor in memory of the lost FOT board maniacs: Flooney, Mo Primo, Tor_Hershman. Where are they now?
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I e-stalked Flooney and found one other profile:
http://board.columbiatribune.com/index.php?showuser=6001
Clearly the same person. I think he/she is a person who learned English by reading Viarity.
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Thanks, A.M. Every time I visit the boards, I pour a little bit of whatever I'm drinking on the floor in memory of the lost FOT board maniacs: Flooney, Mo Primo, Tor_Hershman. Where are they now?
Wishful thinking?
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I miss Flooney
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Me too,
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Wishful thinking?
[/quote]
I'm a TorHead. Don't judge!
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I'm pretty neutral on the subject of Tor (in that I mostly don't bother to read his posts but I don't care if he makes them); I was just questioning Jasong's including him on his list of fallen FOT. Tor is, after all, newly reborn from his own cold ashes.
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I think it's funny because Tor probably came back because he was googling himself one day and found that the FOT were the only people who mentioned him in like ten years.
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I just miss the guy. Remember how he used to say, "keep on groovin' safari?"
What the world needs now is a modern-day Tor.