FOT Forum
FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: theyellowchair on November 29, 2008, 01:51:38 PM
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Last night I went on a blind date. The conversation was moving along, albeit tentatively, until my date began passionately discussing her recent experience at Family Guy Sings! at Carnegie Hall.
Ew boy. Then she mentioned her love for Stadium Arcadium, and I knew it was ovah.
Please share your tales! What nuances or suggestions have effectively ended your evenings?
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Not a date situation, but a co-worker quasi-friendship situation with this guy in a cube adjacent to me at a job I no longer work at. He discovered I was a rap nerd and we talked about our favorite artists and albums over the course of a few days, and then eventually he dropped this amazing pearl: "I think these days, white MCs are better than black MCs." I tried to give him an out and asked "you mean, in indie rap?" and he replied "nah, in general". We kinda stopped chatting shortly afterwards and then I wound up moving to another desk far away from him.
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I found out this library security fella believes 9/11 was an inside job. NO THANK YOU.
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Circa: 1976, Porkland, Whoreregun –
WifeyWu and moi were entering a Fred Meyer’s when a wee female questionnaire asked us to sign a petition for “Something.”
Well, moi does recall that it was a “Something” that I agreed with sooooooo I singed it. Then I made moi’s obligatory yammering about ‘how crappy the world is’.
She looked up at moi and said, “I’d have to say that there are some bright spots in Russia.”
To which moi retorted, “In that case I’ll have to take back my signature.” Which I did by scratching it off though she did protest moi’s counter-action.
Hence the LAST petition ever signed by moi, and the salty ball of mud spins on.
Heck, I did think about moving WifeyWu and the kids to the USSR, but, if I were there I’d have no Constitutional Rights or Civil Liberties. I’d be crazy to move for that! I got all that right here.
Stay on groovin'
(They were/are right, it REALLY IS a jungle)
safari,
:o Tor :o
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recently, i discovered a good friend, who i generally have a good time with, believes we came from aliens. once that was out of the bag, it became the longest road trip ever.
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Pretty obvious but...
A friend of friend of mine was telling an anecdote at party.
I was with him until he dropped the "n" word.
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At a flatwarming on Saturday I got caught talking to the guy who doesn't like metal unless 'it's intelligent, like Tool.' He repeated this phrase at least four times, all to no reaction.
I left right after that. His girlfriend was comically attractive too, fate was really pissing in my eyes that night.
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At thanksgiving, my cousin showed me a 'hilarious' picture he'd been forwarded on his phone. It was just disgusting. Viral, I guess.
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At thanksgiving, my cousin showed me a 'hilarious' picture he'd been forwarded on his phone. It was just disgusting. Viral, I guess.
same thing happened to me. except it wasnt a hilarious picture but a text message that said: "for christmas, i'm going to get you a shirt and a dildo.* if you don't like the shirt, then you can go fuck yourself!"
*this is where they lost me.
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I was at a get-together in October - everyone was discussing the election and what their #1 issues were. A friend's sister broke out with, "My #1 issue is illegal immigration." Everyone sort of looked down awkwardly and someone started talking about something else.
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In one weekend, my sister-in-law:
- Told my mother she married my brother for his health insurance (if she doesn't believe in marriage for emotional reasons, fine, but why tell my mother that?)
- Failed to speak to most of our family at Thanksgiving dinner, including my 80 year-old grandmother.
- Informed me (unprompted) that she despises my father and says he is her "least favorite person in the world" and she "hates him"
She pulled her own fucking eject button on that one.
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recently, i discovered a good friend, who i generally have a good time with, believes we came from aliens. once that was out of the bag, it became the longest road trip ever.
OH MAN this happened to my mother once, except it was a psychiatrist she was seeing. Not as bad as a friend on a road trip, but possibly more confusing.
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In one weekend, my sister-in-law:
- Told my mother she married my brother for his health insurance (if she doesn't believe in marriage for emotional reasons, fine, but why tell my mother that?)
- Failed to speak to most of our family at Thanksgiving dinner, including my 80 year-old grandmother.
- Informed me (unprompted) that she despises my father and says he is her "least favorite person in the world" and she "hates him"
She pulled her own fucking eject button on that one.
sounds like a real gem. why did your brother marry her, again?
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I always thought she was sweet and thought of her as a sister. But now I'm not so sure.
She's super quiet and really really smart (like mensa-smart) and shy. And she comes from a very quiet family. But now I'm starting to realize what's underneath isn't so nice.
He's super-smart too and very logical... so he can be a little insensitive sometimes too. But always polite, at least.
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recently, i discovered a good friend, who i generally have a good time with, believes we came from aliens. once that was out of the bag, it became the longest road trip ever.
OH MAN this happened to my mother once, except it was a psychiatrist she was seeing. Not as bad as a friend on a road trip, but possibly more confusing.
I'd say hearing your shrink spout off nonsense like that is way worse than hearing a friend do it.
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But at least you're usually not stuck in a car with your psychiatrist.
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In one weekend, my sister-in-law:
- Told my mother she married my brother for his health insurance (if she doesn't believe in marriage for emotional reasons, fine, but why tell my mother that?)
- Failed to speak to most of our family at Thanksgiving dinner, including my 80 year-old grandmother.
- Informed me (unprompted) that she despises my father and says he is her "least favorite person in the world" and she "hates him"
She pulled her own fucking eject button on that one.
Isn't she a cat killer as well?
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recently, i discovered a good friend, who i generally have a good time with, believes we came from aliens. once that was out of the bag, it became the longest road trip ever.
Yeah, I've got one those friends too. Were were on the train this summer and he was going on and on about the new world order and I pretty much had to pretend he was just a crazy guy that had sat down next to me and just started rambling.
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In one weekend, my sister-in-law:
- Told my mother she married my brother for his health insurance (if she doesn't believe in marriage for emotional reasons, fine, but why tell my mother that?)
- Failed to speak to most of our family at Thanksgiving dinner, including my 80 year-old grandmother.
- Informed me (unprompted) that she despises my father and says he is her "least favorite person in the world" and she "hates him"
She pulled her own fucking eject button on that one.
Isn't she a cat killer as well?
Nah, that's my boyfriend's sister-in-law. But she stopped trapping the kitties and started donating to the ASPCA so I guess she saw the light :)
I really do love my sister-in-law but I just can't believe she said this shit to me/my family. She has no filter.
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Sorry for the long post, but the topic strikes a nerve for me. These were two very close friends.
1. I had a friend in college who was always "almost my girlfriend" with only one or two drunk exceptions. We were insanely close and spent days and days together at a time. After college, we both happened to move to NYC. We still hung out, but not quite as often. The "When Harry Met Sally" charm ended one day when she told me that she burned her hand with some Starbucks coffee and her new sleazy boyfriend recommended suing Starbucks. I kinda shrugged it off, thinking she would never really do it. The next time I saw her, she had started the legal proceedings. I have spoken to her about four times in the past ten years. I have no love for Starbucks, but I have even less love for frivolous lawsuits.
2. This involves a friend of mine since fifth grade who i see about once a year now. In all of that time, I had avoided talking with him about politics because I knew his parents were hawkish, and he's never been the type to bring it up anyway. A little more than one month ago, a bunch of my high school friends got together. After a few drinks, we got talking about politics (which was obviously in the air right before November 4th). We were not even talking about 9/11 when this guy blurts out, "I SWEAR. AFTER 9/11, WE SHOULDA JUST FLOWN OVER AFGHANISTAN AND GLASSED THE FUCKERS." In my infinite stupidity, I decided to actually debate this point instead of walking away. But ultimately, and obviously, it was pointless. I have lost an old friend over what I see as a truly sinister comment.
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Last night I went on a blind date. The conversation was moving along, albeit tentatively, until my date began passionately discussing her recent experience at Family Guy Sings! at Carnegie Hall.
Ew boy. Then she mentioned her love for Stadium Arcadium, and I knew it was ovah.
Please share your tales! What nuances or suggestions have effectively ended your evenings?
you will die alone
and you deserve it
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Politics have been a major eject button ~ particularly since the Bush Jr. administration ~ conservative viewpoints create a major roadblock on the road to friendship now.
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2. This involves a friend of mine since fifth grade who i see about once a year now. In all of that time, I had avoided talking with him about politics because I knew his parents were hawkish, and he's never been the type to bring it up anyway. A little more than one month ago, a bunch of my high school friends got together. After a few drinks, we got talking about politics (which was obviously in the air right before November 4th). We were not even talking about 9/11 when this guy blurts out, "I SWEAR. AFTER 9/11, WE SHOULDA JUST FLOWN OVER AFGHANISTAN AND GLASSED THE FUCKERS." In my infinite stupidity, I decided to actually debate this point instead of walking away. But ultimately, and obviously, it was pointless. I have lost an old friend over what I see as a truly sinister comment.
Jesus. Crazy. Good tale though. A similar thing happened to me when a friend said, whilst reading an online story about how an Islamic group plan to build a mosque on land that they own, "THEY bomb OUR country and yet WE give THEM this?". After calmly explaining the issue, I quietly muttered that "I don't think we can be friends anymore." She tried to laugh it off and claim dumb-blondeness overcame her, so I reconsidered until relaying the story to the rest of the band, they said she was always coming out with junk like that.
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She tried to laugh it off and claim dumb-blondeness overcame her, so I reconsidered until relaying the story to the rest of the band, they said she was always coming out with junk like that.
as long as youre not sleeping with her, let her do her thing.
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She tried to laugh it off and claim dumb-blondeness overcame her, so I reconsidered until relaying the story to the rest of the band, they said she was always coming out with junk like that.
as long as youre not sleeping with her, let her do her thing.
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I was at a small Thanksgiving dinner once at a friend's apartment, when I approached the host and her neighbor and asked where I could find the washroom. The neighbor, a seemingly normal woman in maybe her early 30s (whom I had never met before, and had maybe said 5 words to up until then) says this:
"What're you gonna do in there?...(insert a long string of vocal fart sounds)"
I wasn't so much offended than I was bewildered.
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KTB wins.
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I was at a small Thanksgiving dinner once at a friend's apartment, when I approached the host and her neighbor and asked where I could find the washroom. The neighbor, a seemingly normal woman in maybe her early 30s (whom I had never met before, and had maybe said 5 words to up until then) says this:
"What're you gonna do in there?...(insert a long string of vocal fart sounds)"
I wasn't so much offended than I was bewildered.
Obviously your reputation preceded you.
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another time that I really wanted to hit the eject button was once when I was waiting for the Greyhound. A young skinhead-looking fella, maybe in his late twenties sat down beside me in the seating area outside. I could tell something was off about him right away, and of course he struck up a conversation. I can't recall the exact details of his story, but apparently what happened was that he had been working construction and had been shot in the head with a nail gun. He then went on to tell me about how he had just got out after having spent some time in the "hospital" and was glad to be out. It was kind of hard to keep talking with him because he would occasionally go catatonic for a few seconds mid sentence. then I made the dumb mistake of asking him "so, how long were you up there"? and he's like "where?" and I say "the hospital".
the next thing I know, our eyes are locked (he's sitting in the chair right next to me) and I see nothing but pure rage in his face. My fight or flight immediately kicked in, because I knew that I was about to be stabbed or attacked in some way. I made an awkward "hey, I gotta get going" excuse (which was tough because my adrenaline was surging) and got up and checked out the arcade inside the bus station until I saw him tailing me. got in a cab and got the fuck out of there.
next time I'll tell you about how I somehow found myself at the family dinner table with two crack smoking skins who spent the whole meal verbally abusing their grandmother right to her face. good times.
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A young skinhead-looking fella,
two crack smoking skins
Lot of skinheads in Rhode Island?
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A young skinhead-looking fella,
two crack smoking skins
Lot of skinheads in Rhode Island?
not so much any more. The nailgun guy was in seattle, and the brothers where in NY state though.
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Thank you YELLOW CHAIR for this great topic. I think I might like to use it on the air tonight if that's cool with you.
Tom!
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Thank you YELLOW CHAIR for this great topic. I think I might like to use it on the air tonight if that's cool with you.
Tom!
No problem! Should be fun.
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I was at a small Thanksgiving dinner once at a friend's apartment, when I approached the host and her neighbor and asked where I could find the washroom. The neighbor, a seemingly normal woman in maybe her early 30s (whom I had never met before, and had maybe said 5 words to up until then) says this:
"What're you gonna do in there?...(insert a long string of vocal fart sounds)"
I wasn't so much offended than I was bewildered.
The age doesn't quite fit, but I'm gonna go ahead and mentally cast the neighbor as Rear Window-era Thelma Ritter whenever I read this post, which will probably be daily.
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A good friend of mine once told me that while in one of his annual trips to his motherland Germany, he and his German friend meditated for hours and a big ball of light floated into the room from outside the window and hovered between them for a minute and then faded away. He told me in all seriousness that this physically happened and I could tell that he wasn't joking. I lost a whole lot of respect for this guy right there and then but couldn't say anything because of our history. Instead, I just pretended to be amazed by his story.
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Boyfriend eject button.
I once dated a guy for about seven months while I was on the rebound from a severely trampled heart. He was a little wacky, but I found it refreshing at the time, I suppose.
We were at my friend's birthday party, having a grand time, when someone, in typical party fashion, picked up one of the guitars that was laying around and started playing "You're Just What I Needed" by the Cars. Everyone smiled and started singing along. My ex was not singing along. He rolled his eyes, then proceeded to pull the guitar out of this dudes hand, turn up the amp, and tell him "I play art rock, dude---watch out!"
ARGH UGG! EJECT!
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Boyfriend eject button.
I once dated a guy for about seven months while I was on the rebound from a severely trampled heart. He was a little wacky, but I found it refreshing at the time, I suppose.
We were at my friend's birthday party, having a grand time, when someone, in typical party fashion, picked up one of the guitars that was laying around and started playing "You're Just What I Needed" by the Cars. Everyone smiled and started singing along. My ex was not singing along. He rolled his eyes, then proceeded to pull the guitar out of this dudes hand, turn up the amp, and tell him "I play art rock, dude---watch out!"
ARGH UGG! EJECT!
Profoundly awful. I just disintegrated reading that.
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Boyfriend eject button.
I once dated a guy for about seven months while I was on the rebound from a severely trampled heart. He was a little wacky, but I found it refreshing at the time, I suppose.
We were at my friend's birthday party, having a grand time, when someone, in typical party fashion, picked up one of the guitars that was laying around and started playing "You're Just What I Needed" by the Cars. Everyone smiled and started singing along. My ex was not singing along. He rolled his eyes, then proceeded to pull the guitar out of this dudes hand, turn up the amp, and tell him "I play art rock, dude---watch out!"
ARGH UGG! EJECT!
Profoundly awful. I just disintegrated reading that.
Seconded.
Here's a recent one, where I haven't really pulled the ripcord cause it's too complicated, but let's just say this guy's on notice inside my head. My girlfriend and I were having another couple over for dinner. The woman is someone my girlfriend is going to grad school with and the dude is her boyfriend who moved out here to be with her. It's important to note that the dude is a pretty unassuming indie rock guy with semi-mod bowl cut and glasses. It's like a week after the election.
ME: (jocular) So, did you guys go out and get hammered on Election Night and then have a hangover from hell like me?
DUDE: Well, we didn't go out, but I passed out on the couch and pissed in my pants.
(Dude's Girlfriend gives him "How the Fuck Did You Think It Was Okay To Tell Them That" look)
ME: Heyyyyyyyyyy. Okay.
DUDE'S GIRLFRIEND: yeah, you ruined my couch.
DUDE:
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Guys, don't peak too early, this is all gold.
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JJ, I think that guy sounds like someone whose friendship you should cultivate. And I'm not joking.
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I figured I'd use that one on the board because it's literally toilet talk.
also, Sarah, I've already got a best friend who sleep walks when he drinks and does stuff like pees on the houseplants, thinking that he's outdoors and that they are trees. A little less abject, and definitely more funny.
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"I play art rock, dude---watch out!"
ARGH UGG! EJECT!
Haha! That's freaking hilarious... as long as your not the person dating him.
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"I play art rock, dude---watch out!"
ARGH UGG! EJECT!
Haha! That's freaking hilarious... as long as your not the person dating him.
My relationship with that dude was a serious of cringes. This was what tipped it over the edge.
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What does art-rock guitar playing even sound like that's so diametrically opposite to The Cars?
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I don't know. He liked the Cars but had a serious aversion to cover bands, which I got. But a dude at a party playing the guitar for fun?
This is a guy who entertained such friends such as a schizophrenic wannabe Mormon who gave him his prescription pills so that the two could drive around town high and crash his car into various medians. Also he would go out with other girls until five or six in the morning, and I'm pretty sure that he had sex with them. This is partly because every girl he introduced me to, he had slept with previously. Oh, and he set himself on fire once. On purpose. After I dumped him, he started dating a 17 year old. He's a winner.
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What does art-rock guitar playing even sound like that's so diametrically opposite to The Cars?
Ha! The more I think about this, the more I think you are awesome.
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SN conversation I just had with a coworker who was asking if I would play bass in his band:
Marc says:
ok, will do. what sort of tunes does your band play?
Co-Worker says:
we have a bunch of extremely nervous people in sao paola waiting for this lol
Co-Workersays:
stuff like this
Co-Workersays:
http://www.myspace.com/gunsnroses
Marc says:
lol
Co-Workersays:
I'm a big hard rock, classic rock fan
Marc says:
oh really
Co-Workersays:
think new bands are filled with pussies and emo wankers
Marc says:
you're just not listening to the right stuff
Co-Workersays:
i was a hard drinking, hard fighting punk in my day and am trying to regain my lost youth lol
Marc says:
awesome
Co-Workersays:
believe me I listen to it all
Co-Workersays:
although i also like 80's hip hop, old skool reggae/ska, and electronica, like prodigy, meat beat manifesto, lords of acid etc.
Co-Workersays:
sweet, chinese democracy has 6 incredible songs on it
Co-Workersays:
you can listen down the page
Co-Workersays:
here are my faves
Co-Workersays:
chinese democracy
shacklers revenge
better
scraped
riadnbedouins
IRS
Co-Workersays:
a little bit too much guitar wanking and pro-tools fx, but as far as great, not vanilla, well written tunes, top notch!
Co-Workersays:
in my opinion any way
Co-Workersays:
Marc says:
alrighty, will give it a go.
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alrighty, will give it a go.
Pinky, you handled that with 100x the diplomacy than was deserved. Well done.
Ha! The more I think about this, the more I think you are awesome.
You are awesomer, JJ. But I was actually serious or maybe I just don't understand what qualifies as art-rock guitar playing. Keith Fullerton Whitman? Van der Graaf Generator?
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I think it's a great point. I'm sure that by someone's estimation, The Cars were considered an "art rock" band themselves ~ at least at one point in time. They were a post-punk band too, afterall.
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I honestly don't even know what the phrase "art rock" means. Just that pretentious assholes often invoke it to make their crappy music sound more appealing.
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Recently, a friend of mine made a racist comment and when I called him on it
he said: "I'm not a racist. I'm a separatist". His "friend" status has been downgraded
to "acquaintance".
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I just don't understand what qualifies as art-rock guitar playing.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v240/heartonastick/bumblefoot1.jpg)
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I went to summer school a few years ago so I could finish taking math a year early. One day, I saw a really really familiar-looking guy chain-smoking at the bus stop, so I went up and started talking to him, figuring I'd work out where I knew him from as we talked. Eventually I remembered that he was a guy I'd gone to elementary school with. I remembered him being a pretty normal kid, if a little strange - he'd come to school one Halloween dressed in a large yellow cardboard box and yellow tights, and when I'd asked him what he was, he gave me the most withering look possible, sighed and said "I'm BUTTER. DUH."
Anyway, when I asked him what he was taking in summer school. he said "Oh, well I got kicked out of school, so I'm just making up the courses I missed." Which, you know, fair enough. The real social ripcord moment came when I asked him what he'd been kicked out for, and he answered "Oh, drugs mostly. And fighting. I get in a lot of fights." He narrowed his eyes and glared at me, and then, very slowly, raised one of his fists up in front of my face. He held it there for like half a minute, and then brought it down to his side, again, very slowly. "I love my fists."
All I could think to say was "Oh, really? That's....awesome."
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Oh, Toronto.
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The "art rock" response to The Cars was Steel Pole Bath Tub (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steel_Pole_Bath_Tub).