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The Best Show on WFMU => Show Discussion => Topic started by: Mr. Science on May 16, 2009, 01:57:53 AM

Title: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Mr. Science on May 16, 2009, 01:57:53 AM
The Sports Dork, Bill Simpson takes a swipe at Zach Galifianakis on his podcast Friday.


Listen up:


http://x818.com/junk/toocoolforschoolcomics.mp3




Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Mr. Science on May 16, 2009, 01:58:13 AM
I think Dork Boy, once a writer for the Kimmel show, had a run in or two with the some of our contemporary comics. Probably because he thinks he's a laugh-riot - and he's not. 

ps. I know its the Sports Guy & Simmons
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Steve in North Hollywood on May 16, 2009, 04:17:51 AM
I didn't even listen to the clip yet.  But a swipe at Zach G. is a swipe at our higher selves. 
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Joe Rogaine on May 16, 2009, 04:33:52 AM
You do get the impression that he does some of those films for the check.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: todd on May 16, 2009, 04:59:02 AM
You do get the impression that he does some of those films for the check.

Yes, what a travesty.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: orator on May 16, 2009, 05:32:30 AM
 People work for money sometimes? What a strange concept, super-douche sports writer.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: yesno on May 16, 2009, 09:55:44 AM
Bill Simmons thinks Malcolm Gladwell is a genius. Which is like the Chipmunks being fans of Jem.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: nec13 on May 16, 2009, 11:52:55 AM
I don't really care for The Sports Guy. He is a complete Boston homer and offers no pretense of objectivity. And as a writer, he is hit or miss. That being said, in this particular soundbite, I think Simmons may be talking, at least partially, in jest.

BTW, Paul Lukas is the best thing about Page 2.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Mr. Science on May 16, 2009, 01:08:10 PM
I think Simmons may be talking, at least partially, in jest.

The distain in his voice when he says "with less star power" tells us more than he'd like us to know.

Later on they talk about live syncing Road House with the audience during a future podcast.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Tom Scharpling on May 16, 2009, 02:49:47 PM
Bill Simmons is okay sometimes - his discussions of new media and the death of newspapers - but can be so insanely off-base other times, like when he discusses the Writers Strike. When he said the strike was a waste of time for the writers, he was clearly getting his info from his buddy Jimmy Kimmel, who only had something to lose from the strike.

He's a ridiculous Boston homer, but it's not like he tries to hide it, so you know what you're getting when you read or listen to him. I always find myself enjoying him until I don't enjoy him; then I check out and come back a few weeks later.

But he's as dumb as the day is long as far as his take on alt comedy.

Tom.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: nec13 on May 16, 2009, 03:56:44 PM
He's a ridiculous Boston homer

This is precisely why I don't really enjoy his sports writing. He isn't a bad writer. But he pushes Boston teams to a ridiculous degree. Moreover, he seems to have limited knowledge of other sports besides basketball and baseball. It's downright painful to read his ruminations about hockey, for example.

I don't really care what he thinks about Zach Galifianakis. I think Zach is funny and Bill Simmons' opinion certainly won't change mine.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: ben on May 18, 2009, 03:16:57 AM
Well at least the idea he had on his podcast to do have people watch Road House while he comments on it is unique, right? 
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on May 18, 2009, 04:25:39 AM
I love the Boston teams as much as anyone, but Simmons ranks up there with Dane Cook and Ben Affleck as Boston celebrities/ national media figures that make me wish I was from Chicago or Toronto.

He can be an excellent and worthwhile read when talking about select subjects (like the NBA) and I won't be surprised if his Basketball Book is good, but he has collossal blind spots and sounds as dumb as anyone when caught in these subjects.  The podcast where he mentions Zach with Dave Dameshek (a wannabe poor man's Adam Corolla) he spends a good 40 minutes spouting pure bullshit about the NHL.  His hesitation on whether Minnesota should have and NHL franchise discredits any opinion he has on the subject. The fact that he leaves out the Bruins as one of his teams puts him right down there with the other 70% of Boston "sports fans" who only start caring when the team's won a championship. His weekly chats with JackO can be entertaining but he and his college buddy basically bring nothing new or intelligent to the Red Sox/Yankees discussion except when either of them have a hystrionic meltdown. 

The ironic thing about Simmons is the transformation he's undergone from the days when I first read him on Digital Cities.  His whole act was writing from the fresh perspective of a fan with a knowledge of pop culture, something that Deadspin and thousands of others have imitated, but by the end of the decade turns into the very same kind of privliged, lazy, uninspired sportswriter he wasn't when he started... only with the half the intelligence and ten times the column inches. He's almost turned into one of Tom's Gregorian Monks who've gone to Hollywood and ended up completely ruined by it.

While his discussions with Klosterman and the former ombudsman and his boss at ESPN on the changing media landscape were probably the best podcasts he's done, I'm still blown away by the grudge he still holds towards The Boston Globe for not hiring him straight out of Holy Cross as a columnist.  He instead starts on AOL, then moves to ESPN, then writes and produces for a network late night talk show and is now as prominent as any Globe columnist except Bob Ryan... seems like a pretty good trade off to me. He's made comments in the past blaming him not getting hired because he's a white male.  I bet he has pictures of Michael Holley and Jackie McMullen pinned to a dartboard at the Sports Guy Mansion.

Simmons is just a spoiled rich brat who habitually throws temper tantrums and lashes out at anyone who crosses him or doesn't bend over backwards for him.  Like Peteski's suggested, some 'too-cool-for-school comedians' must have justifiably made him feel dumb once.

Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on May 18, 2009, 11:23:29 AM
The ironic thing about Simmons is the transformation he's undergone from the days when I first read him on Digital Cities.  His whole act was writing from the fresh perspective of a fan with a knowledge of pop culture, something that Deadspin and thousands of others have imitated, but by the end of the decade turns into the very same kind of privliged, lazy, uninspired sportswriter he wasn't when he started... only with the half the intelligence and ten times the column inches. He's almost turned into one of Tom's Gregorian Monks who've gone to Hollywood and ended up completely ruined by it.

That's my big problem with him. I don't mind his homerism, because it's totally unabashed; he doesn't pretend to be anything other than a total homer.

But he went from being a fan who wrote a column to being a total insider, and I don't think he even knows it. He slips in these little touches into his columns now about awesome Super Bowl parties at Kimmel's house, or hanging out with some ridiculous celebrity. Nobody can relate to it, and worst of all, it's boring.

Plus, the guy has not updated his references in about 10 years. Still getting mileage out of The Karate Kid and Rounders and the same tired 80s references over and over. It's as if Family Guy and Robot Chicken teamed up to write a sports column.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Ralph Goldenmouth on May 18, 2009, 12:48:48 PM
Bill Simmons thinks Malcolm Gladwell is a genius. Which is like the Chipmunks being fans of Jem.

Laughed so hard I spilled coffee in my lap. Truly outrageous.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: nec13 on May 18, 2009, 02:08:21 PM
Does Simmons still write for Jimmy Kimmel Live?
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jamesp on May 18, 2009, 04:34:11 PM
While his discussions with Klosterman and the former ombudsman and his boss at ESPN on the changing media landscape were probably the best podcasts he's done, I'm still blown away by the grudge he still holds towards The Boston Globe for not hiring him straight out of Holy Cross as a columnist.  He instead starts on AOL, then moves to ESPN, then writes and produces for a network late night talk show and is now as prominent as any Globe columnist except Bob Ryan... seems like a pretty good trade off to me. He's made comments in the past blaming him not getting hired because he's a white male.  I bet he has pictures of Michael Holley and Jackie McMullen pinned to a dartboard at the Sports Guy Mansion.

Simmons is just a spoiled rich brat who habitually throws temper tantrums and lashes out at anyone who crosses him or doesn't bend over backwards for him.  Like Peteski's suggested, some 'too-cool-for-school comedians' must have justifiably made him feel dumb once.


I can't stand to hear him whine about the Globe job. Why would the Globe want a 25 year old sports writer doing columns when the newspaper's audience is probably age 35 and older. And what's he whining about affirmative action when he was clearly just a rich kid growing up? He said his dad lives on Beacon Hill and they've had Celtics season tickets for like decades.

Dameshek can be a pretty obnoxious guest. I hate how he calls hockey "puck." It reminds me of people in high school who called basketball "hoop", not even "hoops."
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jamesp on May 19, 2009, 06:17:59 PM
I think Simmons may be talking, at least partially, in jest.

The distain in his voice when he says "with less star power" tells us more than he'd like us to know.

Later on they talk about live syncing Road House with the audience during a future podcast.

I just got through the podcast and didn't read your post earlier about the Road House. Very odd coincidence.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on May 19, 2009, 09:50:04 PM
I also remember him talking shit about Arrested Development, basically saying that it was nothing more than a show a little too pleased with itself.

I've really enjoyed his 180 stance on Twitter.  He would routinely badmouth it and then suddenly he signs up and can't control his tweets.

Pretty much his only work that I really enjoy these days is his NBA stuff.  Despite the homerism, he actually knows what he's talking about and makes a lot of sense (though his GM campaign is dumb).  Others have mentioned how unfortunate it is that he still thinks he approaches things from an everyday fan's POV and I couldn't agree more with that.  When you're good buddies with the Rockets GM and have big time contacts around the league, and are making a ton of Disney money, it's a pretty hard claim to make.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: eastgrandforks on May 21, 2009, 10:33:56 AM
So, can anyone speculate why Zach was dining with the Olsen twins (as mentioned in the podcast)?
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: namethebats on May 22, 2009, 04:41:50 PM
But he went from being a fan who wrote a column to being a total insider, and I don't think he even knows it. He slips in these little touches into his columns now about awesome Super Bowl parties at Kimmel's house, or hanging out with some ridiculous celebrity. Nobody can relate to it, and worst of all, it's boring.

When the Patriots lost the Super Bowl, I was conflicted; I liked seeing such an exciting upset, but it would have been nice to see an undefeated team in my lifetime.

Then I read Bill Simmons' post-mortem. He'd been planning to write a feature about hanging out with Tom Brady at the post-game party. After that, it became the greatest win in NFL history.

Edit: Even with the homerism, I still think he's one of the best NBA writers out there. I just make sure to tune him out once football season starts.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: J. Garbage on May 22, 2009, 05:59:29 PM
I also remember him talking shit about Arrested Development, basically saying that it was nothing more than a show a little too pleased with itself.

I'm actually with him on this one.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: nec13 on May 22, 2009, 06:59:25 PM
I also remember him talking shit about Arrested Development, basically saying that it was nothing more than a show a little too pleased with itself.

Strongly disagree with The Sports Guy. What kind of comedy does he like anyway?
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Stupornaut on May 22, 2009, 07:26:16 PM
I also remember him talking shit about Arrested Development, basically saying that it was nothing more than a show a little too pleased with itself.

Strongly disagree with The Sports Guy. What kind of comedy does he like anyway?

Jimmy Kimmel.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: nec13 on May 22, 2009, 07:30:58 PM
Fair enough.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on May 27, 2009, 05:00:40 PM
When the Patriots lost the Super Bowl, I was conflicted; I liked seeing such an exciting upset, but it would have been nice to see an undefeated team in my lifetime.

Then I read Bill Simmons' post-mortem. He'd been planning to write a feature about hanging out with Tom Brady at the post-game party. After that, it became the greatest win in NFL history.

Edit: Even with the homerism, I still think he's one of the best NBA writers out there. I just make sure to tune him out once football season starts.

Oh god, I totally forgot about that. I've never read anything so "Let them eat cake" from someone who purports to be a just a regular dude. Yeah, that fact alone makes it the greatest Super Bowl ever.

I agree he's one of the best NBA writers there is. Problem is, he's become virtually insufferable on every other sport--including how he was suddenly "into" hockey when the Bruins got good, despite the fact that he declared hockey "dead to him" for years.

Oh, and check out the cover of his new book. Not exactly the work of a humble man:

(http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/deadspin/2009/05/simmonsbook_01.jpg)
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jamesp on June 04, 2009, 01:54:42 PM
It seems like Simmons is alone on trashing Galifianakis right now. Zach had that NY Times Magazine article on Sunday. I just read in the review in Rolling Stone: "What else to know? That Galifianakis - spell it, say it, learn it - is the new rock star of comedy." and Ebert wrote "Well, Zach Galifianakis' performance is the kind of breakout performance that made John Belushi a star after "Animal House."

Hooray for Zach! I'm really looking forward to seeing this tomorrow.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: nec13 on June 04, 2009, 02:12:52 PM
It seems like Simmons is alone on trashing Galifianakis right now.

We resent those things that we do not understand.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on June 16, 2009, 07:53:31 AM
At the beginning of a recent podcast (I think with his bowling/soccer announcer friend 'Stoner') while talking about The Hangover, his friend remarks on how good the film is and how Zach is the breakout star... Simmons responds by saying something to the effect of "Well, he's had enough chances"...

If someone I knew said that in my company, I'd call him on the carpet for such an assinine remark, yet no one in any of his podcasts, and probably in real life, with the exception of his Yankee fan nemesis Jack-O and maybe Klosterman calls him out on the wrongheaded garbage that spews from his mouth on every conceivable subject that's not Professional Basketball. 

I'm just now realizing that Simmons is actually my version of Tom's Kevin Smith.  I fucking hate him but read/listen to everything he produces.  It makes no sense.  In my paranoid mind I believe all his friends like Hench, J-Bug, Joe House, Stoner and even dudes from the Kimmell/Carolla septic tank like Dameshek and Cousin Sal are stupid enough to believe being his sycophants in his own version of the ViewAskewniverse will pay off big for them like it did for Jack-O... who probably gets nothing from his weekly chats but a Subway gift card and a fan club on Facebook.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Tom Scharpling on June 16, 2009, 09:45:01 AM
Just remember that Bill Simmons is getting all his opinions on comedy from Jimmy Kimmel. And never forget that.
Tom.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on August 17, 2009, 02:36:39 PM
I'm sure soccer fans are thrilled with his new embracing of the sport.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: nec13 on August 17, 2009, 02:40:03 PM
Colin Cowherd has also embraced soccer. That's all the endorsement of the sport I need.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Stupornaut on August 17, 2009, 07:47:51 PM
Colin Cowherd has also embraced soccer. That's all the endorsement of the sport I need.

BUT:

(http://static.rateyourmusic.com/album_images/613bbc55116991e22bbcd8d6750d066e/41771.jpg)
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Basil the Bulgar-Slayer on August 17, 2009, 09:15:30 PM
Dameshek can be a pretty obnoxious guest. I hate how he calls hockey "puck." It reminds me of people in high school who called basketball "hoop", not even "hoops."

(http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/columnists/2008/11/7/1226063997339/Barack-Obama-001.jpg)
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on August 17, 2009, 09:32:12 PM
I'm sure soccer fans are thrilled with his new embracing of the sport.

Did he really embrace it? All I remember is him picking Tottenham as his favorite team and never mentioning soccer again. (Granted, this was when I started phasing Simmons out of my life.)
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on August 18, 2009, 10:28:57 AM
I'm sure soccer fans are thrilled with his new embracing of the sport.

Did he really embrace it? All I remember is him picking Tottenham as his favorite team and never mentioning soccer again. (Granted, this was when I started phasing Simmons out of my life.)

He just wrote a column (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090817) on his visit to Stadio Azteca in Mexico City to see the US-Mexico World Cup Qualifier.  

I actually enjoyed the column quite a bit.  Despite my previous bellyaches in this thread on how much I hate him, what I feel has always been his greatest strength is simply his perspective as a fan and his ability to articulate that perspective in a cogent and entertaining way.
 
I can take or leave his tired 80's pop culture references and his often times weak grasp of basic facts  (e.g. his stupefying question to Jeff Ross in a recent podcast why there's no real stand up comedy scene in LA anymore)... Him sitting amongst 100,000 frenzied Mexican soccer fans and reporting the scene humorously and meaningfully is a glimpse at what made me first enjoy his work, and is the antithesis of the lazy old sports 'insider' he's become.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: gravy boat on August 18, 2009, 11:13:36 AM
I am a soccer fan (particularly of the US team) and I did not like the soccer column one little bit. He knows very little about the sport or the US MNT.  I hope he quickly loses interest and leaves the soccer writing to the pros. (I'm sure he will after he gets 10,000 emails calling him "gay" for liking soccer.)

I usually like his columns about the NFL but yeah the constant pop-culture references are tiring.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: yesno on August 18, 2009, 11:21:35 AM
I can't wait for his embrace of sepak takraw.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on August 18, 2009, 11:31:06 AM
I am a soccer fan (particularly of the US team) and I did not like the soccer column one little bit. He knows very little about the sport or the US MNT.  I hope he quickly loses interest and leaves the soccer writing to the pros. (I'm sure he will after he gets 10,000 emails calling him "gay" for liking soccer.)

I usually like his columns about the NFL but yeah the constant pop-culture references are tiring.

I agree about his knowledge of the game (I'm a hockey fan, and similarly wish he would leave hockey to more capable columnists when he decides grace us with his opinions on the Bruins and the NHL).  I just kind of admired his enthusiasm, which has been lacking in his columns as of late.  I'm sure he'll write a boring column about a football party at Kimmell's in the next few weeks that will make me hate him once again.

edit:  I just re-read the column and this line stood out:

Quote
I got rocked by Montezuma's revenge on the way home, which was strange because I am absolutely positive I have never done anything to Montezuma.

...And I am absolutely positive Bill Simmons is turning into Rick Reilly. ugh.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on August 18, 2009, 01:06:46 PM
I'm sure soccer fans are thrilled with his new embracing of the sport.

Did he really embrace it? All I remember is him picking Tottenham as his favorite team and never mentioning soccer again. (Granted, this was when I started phasing Simmons out of my life.)

He's been making a big deal lately about how he think it's really going to take hold in the US in the next decade because of HD and other reasons.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on August 18, 2009, 04:24:40 PM
That soccer article was pretty interesting. Still a little too insider-y for my taste; not too many regular fans get to ride to sporting events in bulletproof limos and watch it from ESPN's luxury suite.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: betheboy on August 18, 2009, 04:36:41 PM
My favorite portion of any Simmons podcast is the "Listen to Me Talk About Things I've Done No Research On" portion. For example his recent comments on Mad Men which made it sound as if he's seen the pilot and some promos but nothing since.  I found his Twitter feed to be equally ill informed and once  got tired of correcting him I stopped paying attention.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Kid Pain on August 18, 2009, 04:39:09 PM
someone please tell bill simmons to never write about, recommend, or reference popular music ever again
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on August 18, 2009, 05:10:29 PM
That soccer article was pretty interesting. Still a little too insider-y for my taste; not too many regular fans get to ride to sporting events in bulletproof limos and watch it from ESPN's luxury suite.

But he would've been murdered if he had mingled with the Mexicans!
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: betheboy on August 18, 2009, 05:12:44 PM
someone please tell bill simmons to never write about, recommend, or reference popular music ever again

So you don't agree with him that U2 is the greatest band in history?
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: namethebats on August 18, 2009, 06:07:43 PM
someone please tell bill simmons to never write about, recommend, or reference popular music ever again

So you don't agree with him that U2 is the greatest band in history?

What? They're right up there with The Bravery.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: nec13 on August 19, 2009, 12:59:09 AM
If/when ESPN tires of him, The Sports Guy could always latch on at Rolling Stone.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Topher on September 09, 2009, 07:09:33 PM
For what it's worth, Patton Oswalt is on today's Sports Guy podcast.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on September 10, 2009, 01:51:09 AM
For what it's worth, Patton Oswalt is on today's Sports Guy podcast.

I was kinda surprised to see that he was on, though Patton did do Carolla's radio show quite a bit.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on September 10, 2009, 12:14:57 PM
shit, that means I actually have to listen to it now? damn my completist ways...
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: betheboy on September 10, 2009, 12:22:37 PM
shit, that means I actually have to listen to it now? damn my completist ways...

I wish it was recorded in stereo so I could turn it all the way to the Patton side and not the Bill "I did the absolute minimum prep on this" Simmons.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on September 10, 2009, 12:31:00 PM
I'm listening to this now and as I thought would happen, Patton is blowing everyone of Simmons' half-baked, misinformed opinions on modern comedy out of the water.  It's startling, if not totally predictable, how Patton's wit and intellect just dwarf The Sports Guy's.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on September 10, 2009, 12:40:33 PM
I'm listening to this now and as I thought would happen, Patton is blowing everyone of Simmons' half-baked, misinformed opinions on modern comedy out of the water.  It's startling, if not totally predictable, how Patton's wit and intellect just dwarf The Sports Guy's.

Not enough Teen Wolf references, though.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on September 10, 2009, 12:59:12 PM
I'm listening to this now and as I thought would happen, Patton is blowing everyone of Simmons' half-baked, misinformed opinions on modern comedy out of the water.  It's startling, if not totally predictable, how Patton's wit and intellect just dwarf The Sports Guy's.

Not enough Teen Wolf references, though.

"Hey, it's not my fault it has been on cable a lot lately"

Also, as a Bears fan, I'm pleased that he picked the Packers to win the Super Bowl this year.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: orator on September 10, 2009, 01:21:46 PM
where can I listen to this Patton episode?
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: betheboy on September 10, 2009, 01:24:17 PM
where can I listen to this Patton episode?

The podcast section here: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/index 
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: orator on September 10, 2009, 01:25:26 PM
thank you
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on September 10, 2009, 01:26:59 PM
ugh. i'm not 5 minutes into this and I wanna smack Simmons.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: orator on September 10, 2009, 01:28:08 PM
wow, I didn't know podcasts had ads
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: betheboy on September 10, 2009, 01:31:10 PM
ugh. i'm not 5 minutes into this and I wanna smack Simmons.

I love the way Patton calls him creepy in the first 3 minutes. I've never heard Patton call Tom Creepy, at least not on the air.  Maybe Bill's friend Jack O will call in to ask Patton about the Yankees but I'll probably turn it off before then.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: orator on September 10, 2009, 01:31:49 PM
ugh. i'm not 5 minutes into this and I wanna smack Simmons.

that analogy may be the worst I've ever heard
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Christina on September 10, 2009, 01:32:30 PM
wow, I didn't know podcasts had ads

Oh, man, WFMU has spoiled us, haven't they?

It seems like all the podcasts I ever tried out had paid ads from adamandeve.com ...
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: betheboy on September 10, 2009, 02:01:34 PM
I will admit that Patton's GG Allin reference made this all worthwhile.  Bill must have had to Wiki that one.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: orator on September 10, 2009, 02:17:01 PM
that was good

Sports Douche wasn't too bad

that first few minutes were brutal, though

"Stand-up comics are kind of like women."
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on September 10, 2009, 02:34:22 PM
Best moments of the podcast were Patton's almost derisive laughter when Simmons topped off his 'Golden Era of Sports Movies' list with Teen Wolf, Simmons declaring to Patton that Dane Cook's "got a bad rap" and Patton answering with silence... and nearly five minutes later Patton half-jokingly admonishing Simmons to not steal jokes for his column.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Kid Pain on September 10, 2009, 02:40:23 PM
to be fair, I'm guessing the dane cook bad rap was a joke. Simmons is another one of Dane cook's public feud combatants.

Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on September 10, 2009, 03:32:33 PM
to be fair, I'm guessing the dane cook bad rap was a joke. Simmons is another one of Dane cook's public feud combatants.



Ah yes, I had forgotten about the great Cook-Simmons 'two way tie for last' feud of 2007.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on September 10, 2009, 04:53:05 PM
Regardless of your feeling re: Sports Guy, Patton is really wonderful here.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Christina on September 10, 2009, 04:53:47 PM

"Stand-up comics are kind of like women."

It's like you guys are daring me to listen to this.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: kevin_ on September 10, 2009, 05:06:09 PM
im an avid listener of the sports guy (sports douche?) and it was so refreshing to hear patton demolish all of his weird preconceived notions about stand up. the stuff about chappelle was interesting too.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on September 10, 2009, 05:11:18 PM

"Stand-up comics are kind of like women."

It's like you guys are daring me to listen to this.

I'm so used to hearing Patton talking to other comics that it was kind of nice to hear him butting up against someone who is outside of the scene.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: betheboy on September 10, 2009, 06:13:52 PM

"Stand-up comics are kind of like women."

It's like you guys are daring me to listen to this.

I mistakenly looked at his latest column which leads off with the same bit about women being crazy after having children.  He'll probably use it several more times this NFL Season. 

The problem here is clearly me though since I'm the dope who keeps reading.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Reeleyes on September 11, 2009, 12:18:05 AM
I listened to the Patton one today and thought it was pretty good. Simmons seemed better than I thought he would since 90% of it wasn't about sports or Big Fan. Patton was funny as usual.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on September 11, 2009, 12:55:58 AM

"Stand-up comics are kind of like women."

It's like you guys are daring me to listen to this.

I mistakenly looked at his latest column which leads off with the same bit about women being crazy after having children.  He'll probably use it several more times this NFL Season. 

The problem here is clearly me though since I'm the dope who keeps reading.


It's nothing new, pretty sure he's been using it since he had his 2nd kid.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: betheboy on September 11, 2009, 01:07:22 AM

"Stand-up comics are kind of like women."

It's like you guys are daring me to listen to this.

I mistakenly looked at his latest column which leads off with the same bit about women being crazy after having children.  He'll probably use it several more times this NFL Season. 

The problem here is clearly me though since I'm the dope who keeps reading.


It's nothing new, pretty sure he's been using it since he had his 2nd kid.

I object to your implying that he recycles terrible material.

Wait, what's the opposite of object?
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on September 11, 2009, 02:01:43 AM

"Stand-up comics are kind of like women."

It's like you guys are daring me to listen to this.

I mistakenly looked at his latest column which leads off with the same bit about women being crazy after having children.  He'll probably use it several more times this NFL Season. 

The problem here is clearly me though since I'm the dope who keeps reading.


It's nothing new, pretty sure he's been using it since he had his 2nd kid.

I object to your implying that he recycles terrible material.

Wait, what's the opposite of object?

Wanna meet in chat later to discuss Karate Kid?
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jamesp on September 14, 2009, 11:31:25 PM
Simmons has become annoying with this recent adoption of the "I'm a huge comedy geek" persona, because he's shown that he's actually just as familiar as any normal person in terms of comedy knowledge. It started when he had Jeff Ross on his podcast and asked stupid questions like, "Do young people still do standup?" You just get the feeling that he's probably never heard of Comedy Death Ray or Upright Citizens Brigade theater going on in L.A.

I found the Patton episode cringe-inducing at times when Simmons would make a dumb point or Patton made a reference that clearly goes over Simmons' head. Something tells me it was the first and last time we'll hear Tim and Eric and G.G. Allin referenced on an ESPN production.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Reeleyes on September 15, 2009, 12:38:07 AM
Simmons has become annoying with this recent adoption of the "I'm a huge comedy geek" persona, because he's shown that he's actually just as familiar as any normal person in terms of comedy knowledge. It started when he had Jeff Ross on his podcast and asked stupid questions like, "Do young people still do standup?" You just get the feeling that he's probably never heard of Comedy Death Ray or Upright Citizens Brigade theater going on in L.A.

I found the Patton episode cringe-inducing at times when Simmons would make a dumb point or Patton made a reference that clearly goes over Simmons' head. Something tells me it was the first and last time we'll hear Tim and Eric and G.G. Allin referenced on an ESPN production.

Definetly the first and last for G.G. on ESPN.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on September 15, 2009, 09:25:48 AM
Simmons has become annoying with this recent adoption of the "I'm a huge comedy geek" persona, because he's shown that he's actually just as familiar as any normal person in terms of comedy knowledge. It started when he had Jeff Ross on his podcast and asked stupid questions like, "Do young people still do standup?" You just get the feeling that he's probably never heard of Comedy Death Ray or Upright Citizens Brigade theater going on in L.A.

I found the Patton episode cringe-inducing at times when Simmons would make a dumb point or Patton made a reference that clearly goes over Simmons' head. Something tells me it was the first and last time we'll hear Tim and Eric and G.G. Allin referenced on an ESPN production.


Definetly the first and last for G.G. on ESPN.

I've definitely heard Scott Van Pelt make references to "I Kill Everything I Make Love To"
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on September 15, 2009, 11:16:05 AM
I've wasted enough words in Bill Simmons, but in his latest podcast discussion with SNL's Bill Hader, he agains pans "that crowd" of "too school for school comics" when Hader has Wet Hot American Summer as one of his favorite comedies of the last decade.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: orator on September 15, 2009, 11:23:51 AM
I've wasted enough words in Bill Simmons

That sounds vaguely painful.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on September 15, 2009, 11:44:38 AM
I've wasted enough words in Bill Simmons, but in his latest podcast discussion with SNL's Bill Hader, he agains pans "that crowd" of "too school for school comics" when Hader has Wet Hot American Summer as one of his favorite comedies of the last decade.

Seriously, he harps on that so much you'd think a bunch of comics gangraped him after an episode of Kimmel a few years back.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: eastgrandforks on September 15, 2009, 11:48:59 AM
Quote
I've wasted enough words in Bill Simmons, but in his latest podcast discussion with SNL's Bill Hader, he agains pans "that crowd" of "too school for school comics" when Hader has Wet Hot American Summer as one of his favorite comedies of the last decade.

That comment really puzzled me, because Janeane Garofalo is the only "comic" in that movie. Being resentful of Wain/Black/Showalter doesn't track, either.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jbissell on September 15, 2009, 12:32:17 PM
Quote
I've wasted enough words in Bill Simmons, but in his latest podcast discussion with SNL's Bill Hader, he agains pans "that crowd" of "too school for school comics" when Hader has Wet Hot American Summer as one of his favorite comedies of the last decade.

That comment really puzzled me, because Janeane Garofalo is the only "comic" in that movie. Being resentful of Wain/Black/Showalter doesn't track, either.

I assumed he was referring to all of The State people, not strictly "comedians".
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on September 15, 2009, 12:41:08 PM
I've wasted enough words in Bill Simmons

That sounds vaguely painful.

You know what? I've read him ever since he was The Boston Sports Guy and now I'm trapped against my will inside his hellish alternate reality of nasally podcasts and interminable columns like some ESPN-sanctioned version of 'The Prisoner'.  Any preposition would have worked there.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jamesp on September 15, 2009, 05:13:51 PM
I've wasted enough words in Bill Simmons, but in his latest podcast discussion with SNL's Bill Hader, he agains pans "that crowd" of "too school for school comics" when Hader has Wet Hot American Summer as one of his favorite comedies of the last decade.

That's what caused me to go off in my post last night. I just heard up to there and couldn't take it anymore.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: AllSussedOut on September 17, 2009, 11:09:38 AM
I've wasted enough words in Bill Simmons

That sounds vaguely painful.

You know what? I've read him ever since he was The Boston Sports Guy and now I'm trapped against my will inside his hellish alternate reality of nasally podcasts and interminable columns like some ESPN-sanctioned version of 'The Prisoner'.  Any preposition would have worked there.

well said.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Mr. Science on September 17, 2009, 08:32:18 PM
I listening now. Simmons can't hang with PO, and he's sweating it.



ps. "I don't do British" (Simmons on movies)
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: chrisfoll577 on September 26, 2009, 08:38:40 AM
According to the latest podcast with Jack O and Joe House, Bill Simmons absolutely loved the season premiere of Curb Your Enthusiasm... and still hates 'Too Cool For School' comedy like Bored to Death and Wes Anderson films.  Jack O and Joe House agree.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: jamesp on September 26, 2009, 08:29:30 PM
I can understand if somebody dislikes Wes Anderson or different styles of humor, but to repeatedly call it "Too Cool for School" just makes you sound like all you really mean is "Too Smart for Me." It's the sort of attitude where you're stuck in whatever year it was when you graduated college when in your mind everything peaked and you whine about new things.

Simmons has mentioned Seinfeld a lot in his comedy specific podcasts and he does one thing that always bothers me: exaggerating about Jerry Seinfeld's creative input on the show. When you look at the mediocre stand-up comedy that Seinfeld's always done and then look at the other stuff Larry Charles & Larry David have done since Seinfeld, it seems pretty clear who were the brains behind the show.

He also keeps calling Chris Rock the best stand up today. That'd be true if it was 1996 and Bring the Pain just premiered, but "Kill the Messenger" was leaps and bounds behind the stuff that Louis C.K., Todd Barry, Rick Gervais, and Andy Daly did in 2008.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: nec13 on October 05, 2009, 10:50:28 PM
Uh oh, apparently there's a feud brewing between The Sports Guy and Mike Franceser. Although, I must say, Franceser has a valid point about Simmons being an "ESPN stooge."

http://www.fantasy555.com/2009/09/16/article-simmons-francesa-trade-barbs/
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on October 06, 2009, 09:48:02 AM
Franceser also seems to share's Tom's views on Pod-trash.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: yesno on October 06, 2009, 10:08:08 AM
Even though I don't listen to it that often, at least the Sports Dork is trying to do something interesting with his podcast.  Fransescer is just keeping with his time-tested formula of talking to the shaved apes who call in and spouting disjointed gibberish.  He makes Simmons sound like Joe Frank.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: dave from knoxville on October 06, 2009, 11:08:17 AM
shit, that means I actually have to listen to it now? damn my completist ways...

You know, I heard Patton was on this other obscure podcast you wouldn't expect him to do, maybe 6 months ago. Or was it a year ago? I can't remember the name, or the theme of the podcast, but I am sure it's out there. Maybe you can find it!
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Topher on February 04, 2011, 11:22:04 AM
Sorry to bump this, but Bill Simmons had a bit on his podcast today where they pitched "Rambocky" right down to using the same title. Sort of weird, right on the heels of Patton's appearance.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: amiright?? on February 04, 2011, 07:51:36 PM
This most recent episode with Patton was the most aggravating interview I've ever heard. Patton was interesting, as usual, but he had no help from Simmons. NONE.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Greggulator on February 04, 2011, 10:55:01 PM
If you can't write a sports column without recycling the same jokes about The Wire, Good Will Hunting or The Shawshank Redemption every other paragraph, then you probably shouldn't have a sports column.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: buffcoat on February 04, 2011, 11:47:47 PM
[Bill Simmons]... shouldn't have a sports column.

Well said.  I agree with this.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: TheeChrisDee on February 06, 2011, 10:52:21 AM
at least he retired the 90210 references...oh wait, he didn't.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Matthew_S on June 21, 2011, 05:59:36 PM
[[ did not find this posted already , so let's put this here ]]


Bill Simmons (and friends) ' Grantland.com has launched.

Today, Chuck Klosterman posted a piece about his created rock "stat", the VORM.

Here is the link:

http://espn.go.com/espn/grantland/story/_/id/6674439/view/full/rock-vorp (http://espn.go.com/espn/grantland/story/_/id/6674439/view/full/rock-vorp)

Here is the relevant footnote:

The research for this portion of the abstract was modeled after the work of mid-'90s musicologist Ronald Thomas Clontle and surveys the same core demographics (Lawrence, Kans.; Gainesville, Fla.).

Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Mr. Spacely on June 21, 2011, 06:11:57 PM
Whoa!  That's great. I like Klosterman, but I never pegged him as a big comedy guy. Let alone a long-form indie radio comedy guy.

It's weird to think S&W now vaguely, distantly share a portion of the comedy Venn Diagram with Simmons.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: scratchbomb on June 21, 2011, 09:24:08 PM
The Best Show reference was great, although everything else about that piece drove me bonkers.But then I should probably disclose that Klosterman and I have a longstanding feud that only I know about.
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: amiright?? on June 22, 2011, 03:11:07 PM
He probably knows now, due to google alerts.

THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD!
Title: Re: The Sports Dork and "These too cool for school comics"
Post by: Greggulator on June 22, 2011, 03:59:11 PM
I think this is so funny on a few levels.

I'm really torn on Grantland. Simmons and Klosterman suck. Period. They are so ridiculously impressed with themselves. Dave Eggers, Malcolm Gladwell, Jimmy Kimmel and Mike Schur's involvement also do not bode well.

(NOTE: I appreciate Schur's contributions to American comedy, but I'm not a fan of his sports writing. And his piece on cricket was really hard to sit through, especially since cricket kind of rules. I would have footnoted this, BTW, to keep with the Grantland tradition, if possible.)

However, I really like Rafe Bartholemue (who wrote Pacific Rims, hilarious basketball book) and Davy Rothbart (of Found Magazine fame). The Masked Man from Deadspin writes some decent stuff about wrestling. Everyone else falls flat to me.

Anyways, it's pretty awesome that a very visible writer on a very visible website made a reference to TBS. It's just how they did it that irks me -- it's a nice little reference that the .01% of people reading Grantland will understand. There's no link to anything from there. By doing so, Klosterman's essentially making someone else's work his own clever little joke.

But what's really hilarious -- the whole conceit of Rock, Rot and Rule is to make fun of lazy, hackish, too-cool-for-school professional music writers... LIKE CHUCK KLOSTERMAN. I'm not sure if he's picking that up...