FOT Forum
FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: harris on January 03, 2010, 06:19:40 PM
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So I had the idea for a thread about something I think that we can all benefit from. My roommates boyfriend who is ultra hipster is kinda starting to wear on my nerves. See every time I listen to music in my room then go out to use the bathroom or get food he'll say "Nice Big Star." or smile at me and say "Velvet Underground." The point is that I never know what to say so I usually just say "Yep they're the best" and exit swiftly.
Also I'll ask if he likes something and he'll give me a dead end answer. Me: "By the way, do you like Neil Young?" Him: "After the Gold Rush. Harvest."
He also said "Oh yeah that's the one with Ricky Gervosian. I heard it was great." when I told him I saw Invention of Lying.
And when I wanted to recommend Beegees 1st. I asked "Hey have you heard early Beegees." and he said quickly "Yes. AMAZING." And I realized he probably wouldve said that to anything because why would I ask him if he knew of terrible music. Thats why I can't wait to see him to ask if he's heard early BBMak.
Any help with quick quips or anything? His mistaken and dead end namedrops are too funny to let be.
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Just make up a bunch of fake bands.
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Go Newbridge. Gas Station Dogs, Mother 13, Sister Sheila, MickNickPickMickNick, etc.
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Just make up a bunch of fake bands.
I might speak highly of the newest group like MickNickPickMickNick. How about ChanCabDeerOldhamCollective?
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You: Do you like x?
Him: Yeah, they're great.
You: Not me, I can't stand them.
Also:
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/your-band-sucks/how-fake-it.php
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You: Do you like x?
Him: Yeah, they're great.
You: Not me, I can't stand them.
Also:
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/your-band-sucks/how-fake-it.php
You're welcome to use Momentum Flux
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The Southern response is, brightly, "Well, bless your heart!"
Try this one, sotto voce the first time: "You don't know what the hell you're talking about, do you?"
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Do you like Gary Cherone-era Black Sabbath?
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kind of related, but whenever someone (ok, invariably a chick I was digging) gives the whole "My boyfriend is in a band" line, I used to use the stock response "of course, he is".
I did that for years until I stumbled upon a better stock response.
Chick: "So yeah, my boyfriend plays circuit-bent Casio in this noise project. You should check them out, they're really good!"
Me: "Your boyfriend is in a band?"
Chick: "Yeah, totally. They're playing this awesome art space downtown that used to be a butcher shop."
Me: "That's so cute!"
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Me: "That's so cute!"
COLD BLOODED!
Whenever someone asks me how I know a certain bit of information I just presented them with I like to say quite pompously: "Well (name), I watch TV."
Or whenever I ask someone if they like a show like the Wire or something:
Me: "Hey do you like The Wire?"
Them: "I don't watch TV."
Me: "Right, but do you like The Wire?"
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Great line, KtB - "That's adorable!" would be another one.
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Great line, KtB - "That's adorable!" would be another one.
"How precious!"
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Or wince and say, "Gee, I'm sorry. That must be tough."
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Great line, KtB - "That's adorable!" would be another one.
I've used this before too!
I love this thread. I know / have known lots of kids who, upon mentioning the name of a band / film / director / whatever, will do nothing but quote related things (dialogue, album / film titles, whatever) to show you that they have THOROUGH knowledge of what you're talking about and that they approve of the fact that you like things that they like. That is the ENTIRE CONVERSATION. I met a kid at a party a while back who heard I liked indie music, and he cornered me and made me list bands and records that I liked so he could note how much he hated some of them (literally all he did was go "They're terrible" and then move on). After the party I found out that he really liked talking to me. Ugh.
One time I was in a "listversation" and I slipped this in.
Me: Do you like Ponys?
Kid: Oh yeah...they have a pretty cool sound.
Me: The animals?
This was before a band called Ponys came into existence. I think it's hilarious that people will lie about knowing bands / whatever just so they maintain their cultural wizardry stature. I'm guilty of having done this in the past (thankfully, I'm reformed), and I'd always ask myself why I felt the need to lie about something so stupid. It's ok not to know everything about everything!
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I've used this before too!
I love this thread. I know / have known lots of kids who, upon mentioning the name of a band / film / director / whatever, will do nothing but quote related things (dialogue, album / film titles, whatever) to show you that they have THOROUGH knowledge of what you're talking about and that they approve of the fact that you like things that they like. That is the ENTIRE CONVERSATION. I met a kid at a party a while back who heard I liked indie music, and he cornered me and made me list bands and records that I liked so he could note how much he hated some of them (literally all he did was go "They're terrible" and then move on). After the party I found out that he really liked talking to me. Ugh.
One time I was in a "listversation" and I slipped this in.
Me: Do you like Ponys?
Kid: Oh yeah...they have a pretty cool sound.
Me: The animals?
This was before a band called Ponys came into existence. I think it's hilarious that people will lie about knowing bands / whatever just so they maintain their cultural wizardry stature. I'm guilty of having done this in the past (thankfully, I'm reformed), and I'd always ask myself why I felt the need to lie about something so stupid. It's ok not to know everything about everything!
If you've ever found yourself trapped in a game of oneupsmanship with a Culture Wizard (thank you, I am going to use this term in the new decade), I find the following a great trick shot:
You: "So what are you listening to these days?"
Wizard: "Real esoteric stuff, man. like AIDS Wolf."
You: (pause) "I don't know what that is."
edit: I figured that I had to dracsearch AIDS Wolf since I dropped the reference and all (and have never actually heard them). They are exactly how I imagined them to sound. (http://popup.lala.com/popup/1657606146920869410)
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A good
tack tact is to pretend to only listen to jazz, opera, etc. Just to be very dismissive of "simple children's music" generally.
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One of my favorite things to do to someone like this, once they've figured out that I'm a music person and attached themselves to me so they can drop references like Wolf Eyes to let me know how cool they are, is to wait for them to ask me what I'm currently listening to and say something like, "I'm really into Heart these days." This will provoke either an uncomfortable laugh followed by uneasy silence or else they'll suddenly remember someone else they had to talk to.
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One of my favorite things to do to someone like this, once they've figured out that I'm a music person and attached themselves to me so they can drop references like Wolf Eyes to let me know how cool they are, is to wait for them to ask me what I'm currently listening to and say something like, "I'm really into Heart these days." This will provoke either an uncomfortable laugh followed by uneasy silence or else they'll suddenly remember someone else they had to talk to.
I'm one of those people, except my queries are genuine and not used as an aid to impress others. There is so much music out there and I don't have time to find it all. I love listening to the music on TBS, Tom and this forum have introduced me to lots of stuff I never would have heard on my own. It helps me cut through all of the garbage that is out there...also, I like Heart. Now I feel bad. Sorry MOS and Jeremy. When I started working in Toronto many years ago, my workplace was filled with what could be identified as knowledgeable music store clerks...they sorted me out and I needed the help. I give them and others who have brought aid, full credit when asked about certain artists.
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One of my favorite things to do to someone like this, once they've figured out that I'm a music person and attached themselves to me so they can drop references like Wolf Eyes to let me know how cool they are, is to wait for them to ask me what I'm currently listening to and say something like, "I'm really into Heart these days." This will provoke either an uncomfortable laugh followed by uneasy silence or else they'll suddenly remember someone else they had to talk to.
I'm one of those people, except my queries are genuine and not used as an aide to impress others. There is so much music out there and I don't have time to find it all. I love listening to the music on TBS, Tom and this forum have introduced me to lots of stuff I never would have heard on my own. It helps me cut through all of the garbage that is out there...also, I like Heart. Now I feel bad. Sorry MOS and Jeremy. When I stared working in Toronto many years ago, my workplace was filled with what could be identified as knowledgeable music store clerks...they sorted me out and I needed the help. I give them and others who have brought aide, full credit when asked about certain artists.
I like Heart also, and I enjoy discussing music with people who are genuinely enthusiastic and not dropping intentionally obscure names just to show off their cultural superiority (which is why the positive mention of Heart pains such people). I can usually tell within a minute or two which type of person I'm dealing with. I would drop the Heart line with the second type as an alternative to just saying "Go away."
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This brings up another good topic. Say some new person asks what you are into. But just at first sight you can gather that they aren't going to share many interests or they are like a friend of your parents or something. Do you find yourself toning down your tastes?
If that situation arises I usually just say "Neil Young and The Rolling Stones." In this situation Big Star, The Faces, My Morning Jacket and even a name like Leonard Cohen would all receive blank stares.
I originally faced this with a friend who liked awful noise crap and Jandek. I asked him what he says. He is always just a dick and says something like "Well I don't really listen to music anyone's heard of."
Do yall see what I am saying?
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I originally faced this with a friend who liked awful noise crap and Jandek. I asked him what he says. He is always just a dick and says something like "Well I don't really listen to music anyone's heard of."
Do yall see what I am saying?
You should ask how they know it's actually music, like if an experimental musician cuts a fart in the forest, will a know it all music nerd call it the best record of 2009?
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I originally faced this with a friend who liked awful noise crap and Jandek. I asked him what he says. He is always just a dick and says something like "Well I don't really listen to music anyone's heard of."
Do yall see what I am saying?
You should ask how they know it's actually music, like if an experimental musician cuts a fart in the forest, will a know it all music nerd call it the best record of 2009?
Don't get me started. One time I got him to listen to Angry Mr. Bungle fan. He totally didn't get it. And just to piss me off he said "This guy is right, Tom doesn't know shit."
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Yesterday I missed the news the Wilco is coming to town and last night my roommates boyfriend came is asking me if I had heard about Wilco. He began to excitedly tell me about Wilco coming to town and doing like a storytellers thing. He went on for like five minutes then I asked if he was in and he said "Nah man the tickets are probably gunna be too much." I looked and said "Only $40, see?" And he said "That's too much for Wilco dude." and walked away.
I was speechless.
In retrospect I should've said something like : "I just wasted $40 of my time listening to your poser fanboy bullshit." But I'm to nice for that and he gave me the tip. I guess I can be thankful for that at least.
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You'd have to pay me $40 to see Wilco.
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I usually have a fun time in these sorts of situations, because I listen to as much ragtime and early-1900s wax cylinder-type music as I do to "indie/hipster/whatever" music that dudes like this listen to. So if things ever start going south, all I have to do is start talking about Chubby Parker or George Formby or whoever, and it quickly becomes clear to these types that we do not have as much in common as they originally thought.
This was before a band called Ponys came into existence.
Are those guys still together or what? They were hot shit.
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You'd have to pay me $40 to see Wilco.
I grew up a Wilco fan, from "Casino Queen" onward. In around 2004 I paid $35 to see them. It was a large seated theatre, and Jeff Tweedy actually stopped the show and asked a young couple who were standing to please sit down. They weren't blocking anybody's view, they were just "too distracting", he said. He was not funny about it. That's about when I decided that me and Wilco were just not on the same page anymore.
(Not to hate so much on Wilco, harris. Whatever floats your boat - I listen to shitty cornball ragtime music, after all.)
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You'd have to pay me $40 to see Wilco.
I grew up a Wilco fan, from "Casino Queen" onward. In around 2004 I paid $35 to see them. It was a large seated theatre, and Jeff Tweedy actually stopped the show and asked a young couple who were standing to please sit down. They weren't blocking anybody's view, they were just "too distracting", he said. He was not funny about it. That's about when I decided that me and Wilco were just not on the same page anymore.
(Not to hate so much on Wilco, harris. Whatever floats your boat - I listen to shitty cornball ragtime music, after all.)
I friend of mine is slightly deaf in her left ear because there was a dude next to her at a Wilco show in the late 90s that kept screaming "TWEEEEEEDYYYYYY!" the whole night and the crowd was so packed she couldn't move away.
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I'm on the fence about seeing Wilco, although I'm bummed that I didn't get to last summer's minor league ballpark tour when they came to Keyspan Park (I think Yo La Tengo opened for them too).
I was talking to a friend yesterday about being over the need to have what we liked be accepted and enjoyed by close friends / relatives: we were talking mainly about attempts to slip an occasional "try this book / cd / whatever" to one of our parents or siblings into conversations or as holiday gifts. Sometimes it would work out if you'd find some common ground (my classic rock-loving dad liked the copy of The Black Keys' Attack and Release I gave him), but usually it ends in tears (my western-loving dad did not like Dead Man).
This brings up another good topic. Say some new person asks what you are into. But just at first sight you can gather that they aren't going to share many interests or they are like a friend of your parents or something. Do you find yourself toning down your tastes?
I find myself doing this a lot with relatives and co-workers. I also try to be somewhat polite about their own tastes, even if I don't agree with them. One of my friends has a giant Kurt Vonnegut tattoo, but we can still be pals and talk about other stuff. I mean, I might privately question every recommendation you make about books (hell, even general advice on how to live) from here on out, but we can still grab a beer.
It's funny when you forget that some people don't care about stuff in the same way that you do. For example, I saw Sherlock Holmes last week with my parents and one of my brothers. We all liked it, but on the car ride home I made the mistake of saying "Boy, they really didn't shy away from the homoeroticism in that movie!" I immediately wanted to kill myself. And the sad part is, I actually thought better of saying "homosocial" because I knew my parents and brother would have no idea what I was talking about. Which, in retrospect, makes me want to kill myself even more.
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A good tack tact is to pretend to only listen to jazz, opera, etc. Just to be very dismissive of "simple children's music" generally.
Or say "Their guitarist must not be left handed, because if she was, I would know them."