FOT Forum
FOT Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: BrotherBen on February 15, 2012, 03:59:56 PM
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In conjunction with a yet to be realized Storage Wars role-playing game, this thread is the place to crate and share your own character to compete in the Storage Wars universe.
name: Richie "Heartbreaker" Villacruz
hometown: Riverside, CA
catch phrase: "Shock to the system"
bid method: rattling a piece of sheet metal
area of expertise: car subwoofers
biggest score: June '08, U-Store-It, Oxnard - found an original Toho "Mothra" model behind a discolored mattress, $7500 to the right collector
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name: "Dandy" Dave Vinson
hometown: Knoxville Tn
catch phrase: "DHARMA KARMA"
bid method: spit take
area of expertise: Pop Culture items, years 1973 - first three months of 1974
biggest score: Accidentally stumbling upon a mason jar containing 1374 gold fillings from unspecified sources, after bidding $5200 on a locker that seemed to contain Yes and Blue Oyster Cult paraphenalia, all of which turned out to be water-damaged
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name: Clinton "Little Debbie" Clinton
hometown: Macon, GA
catch phrase: "Total cakewalk."
bid method: casual limp-fingered military salute
area of expertise: Grocery novelties
biggest score: A winning bid of $2200 on an assumedly PACKED locker of discontinued breakfast cereals revealed only out of print designs of in-production cereal. His precise arrangement and organization of the entire contents of the locker delighted the eyes of a curator at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, and "Little Debbie" was paid $45,000 through donations and grants for a show at the gallery. He completed his gallery work in less than 24 hours, calling it a "total cakewalk."
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name: Stephan "The Horned Magus" DeCastro
home town: Los Angeles, CA
catch phrase: "So mote it be!"
bid method: stroking his pointed beard while raising one eyebrow
area of expertise: ancient grimoires, talismans of the dark arts, Templar Knight artifacts, Beanie Babies
biggest score: discovered instructions for summoning the dark lord Azarel inside a box of old Readers Digest back issues - traded for a sweet ATV
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name: "Blind" Wendall Wyands
home town: Newland, NC
catch phrase: "the soundtrack drives the action"
bid method: extended manzello solo
area of expertise: able to determine the precise contents of a locked safe using only a tuning fork
biggest score: a comprehensive collection of smutty Hard Rock Cafe lapel pins; traded to another storage warrior for six Louis Malle films on LaserDisc
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Avery County represent!
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name: Doug Trendowski "The Trend"
home town: Chicopee, MA
catch phrase: "Let's get ready to dance!"
bid method: activates Steely Dan alarm watch
area of expertise: can appraise artwork, posters and prints inside a closed unit via a handheld GPS receiver and an astrology chart
biggest score: live siberian tiger hidden inside what looked like a covered vintage convertible (it was a nest made of paint cans under a tarp)
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name: Conway "Person of Interest" McFee
hometown: Lagrange, GA
catch phrase: "If you feel froggy JUMP!"
bid method: slides finger across throat
area of expertise: alcohol, tobacco & firearms
biggest score: a "sleeping"* Peter Criss
*(Quotes suggested by Buffcoat.)
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These are all gold. Keep 'em coming!
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name: Alfred "Tough Guy" Goldberg
home town: El Cerrito, CA
catch phrase: "These lockers are making me thirsty!"
bid method: giving crazy eye
area of expertise: can price action figures by smell
biggest score: $40,000 in negotiable T-Bills hidden inside a soiled Pringles can
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name: Jeb "The Perfessor" Spit
home town: Hanover, NH.
catch phrase: "I can feel it in my waters."
bid method: Air-horn
area of expertise: Superhero comics that do not feature superheroes.
biggest score: Storage locker filled floor to ceiling with cans of discontinued WD-41 and Duct-Felt.
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I'm calling it, even though it's only February: THREAD OF THE YEAR.
YUUUUUP!
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I'm calling it, even though it's only February: THREAD OF THE YEAR.
YUUUUUP!
DHARMA KARMA
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name: Conway "Person of Interest" McFee
hometown: Lagrange, GA
catch phrase: "If you feel froggy JUMP!"
bid method: slides finger across throat
area of expertise: alcohol, tobacco & firearms
biggest score: a sleeping Peter Criss
Very funny.
Maybe there should be quotes around "sleeping."
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Name: Andy "Slick Ricky" Vinson
Hometown: Knoxville, TN
Catch Phrase: "Scopophilians Unite!"
Bid Method: Throw rock at previous bidder.
Area of Expertise: 1970's carpet samples. Ceramic frogs.
Biggest Score: 1998 Sports Illustrated Swim suit edition.
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Name: Herman "The Herminator/Thurmanator" Thurman
Hometown: Oshkosh, WI
Catch Phrase: "O, M, G! We've hit the motherload!"
Bid Method: Sets beard on fire, then immediately extinguishes it (his beard is very long).
Area of Expertise: Marital aids. Erotica. Pez dispensers.
Biggest Score: A stack of misprinted Billy Joel album covers, mostly River of Dreams.
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name: Donny "The Eel" McCullough
home town: Lockport, NY
catch phrase: "Welcome to the funhouse!"
bid method: shakes a can filled with pennies
area of expertise: claims his joints ache whenever a unit is hiding baseball cards
biggest score: M1 Abrams Battle Tank dissembled and packed into garbage bags
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Name: Andy "Slick Ricky" Vinson
Hometown: Knoxville, TN
Catch Phrase: "Scopophilians Unite!"
Bid Method: Throw rock at previous bidder.
Area of Expertise: 1970's carpet samples. Ceramic frogs.
Biggest Score: 1998 Sports Illustrated Swim suit edition.
Father and son, dogs! SKOPOKARMA
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I appreciate that I've already made my contribution, but perhaps there's a call to redress the gender balance here. So, I give you:
Name: Maureen "Lady M" Thurgood
Hometown: Kalamazoo, MI.
Catch Phrase: "You know what time it is! (It's auction time.)"
Bid Method: http://sadtrombone.com/ (http://sadtrombone.com/)
Area of Expertise: Victoriana, juvenilia, Americana, Cavalleria Rusticana.
Biggest Score: Carried the boom-mic when Geraldo opened Al Capone's vault.
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name: Copper "Ghostlegs" MacCready
hometown: New Haven, CT
catch phrase: "I'll take that action!"
bid method: makes the international sign of cutting a hole into glass to pilfer a diamond
area of expertise: rock hammers, megaphones, non-novelty inflatables
biggest score: Bill Fagerbakke's locker, packed with Coach memorabilia