FOT Forum
The Best Show on WFMU => Show Discussion => Topic started by: Nicholas Tanek on January 10, 2013, 10:44:50 AM
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Remember when Tom asked "What if GG Allin went back in time and replaced (or switched places?) with Elvis when he did Ed Sullivan?"
If Kevin, or you may know him a GG Allin went back in time and took Elvis's place....
- Andy Kaufman's act would a little different
- What would hip-hop be like?
- Would electronic music sound like those songs on "South Park" in that one episode where Stan finally grows up?
- I think the dumb Juggalo culture may change
- Most importantly, what happens when GG Allin meets Richard Nixon?
- What happens to the bands who rebelled against Elvis in some way.
- How would you answer that question, "Are you an Elvis person or a Beatles person?"
This last one is for you....
- What would this do to Led Zeppelin?
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An altogether different persona for Nicholas Cage.
And this guy's obsession certainly takes a disturbing turn:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/13/AR2007081301133_5.html (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/13/AR2007081301133_5.html)
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Would the time jump also have an affect on GG Allin? Would he have also gotten into sequenced jumpsuits in the early 70s?
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I said these on twitter during the show. They're not the best but I'm putting them here for posterity.
* We would have the cultural reference points "Fat GG" and "Skinny GG."
* Rather than on one, GG Allin would probably die in a toilet.
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I feel like certain Las Vegas wedding chapels (and casinos all over come to think of it) would be much messier endeavors.
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On the original Sullivan appearances, rather than training the camera above the waist, they probably would have just tilted the camera up to the ceiling. And turned the sound off. This would be the aboveground cooptation of John Cage's 4'33", (1952) and teenagers across the land would have whispered to each other, Did you see that?. Across the nation, in every town, girls would have started fainting and speaking in tongues when exposed to the spectacle of nothing in particular happening except the random coughing and tittering of fellow attendees at the concert hall, and guys with shaved heads and goatees would try to get in the gravy train by picking up their guitars and doing nothing for the length of a song--OK, I think I've milked that joke as far as it can go.
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This would be the aboveground cooptation of John Cage's 4'33", (1952) and teenagers across the land would have whispered to each other, Did you see that?. Across the nation, in every town, girls would have started fainting and speaking in tongues when exposed to the spectacle of nothing in particular happening except the random coughing and tittering of fellow attendees at the concert hall, and guys with shaved heads and goatees would try to get in the gravy train by picking up their guitars and doing nothing for the length of a song.
Talking Seattle grunge band Todd Snider (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmxSMIN3-WI#)
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G.G.'s film career would be fascinating. His military service even more so. Elvis served in a tank battalion, right? Tiny vials of G.G's "sweat". How would G.G.'s tombstone be misspelled?
Rumors that G.G. is still alive and working at a Burger King in Kalamazoo don't see all that weird.
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I actually think this could be quite plausible if we're talking about "Jabbers"-era GG ... if that was most people's first exposure to rock'n'roll, that would have worked out pretty well ... possibly even better than life actually did.
If we're talking about "poo-flinging, woman-fighting, etc"-era GG, then rock'n'roll as we know it wouldn't have stood a chance.
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what about the band Elvis Hitler? would they be GG Hitler? not sure if that really has the same ring.
i mention this because Tom just mentioned Disgraceland and that's the name of EH's first album...
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if the Velvet Elvis is a peanut butter and banana sandwich I hate to imagine what the Velvet GG would be.
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G.G.'s Graceland would have to be the Ice Pick in Muskegon.
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Jailhouse Rock would be a Samuel Fuller movie where GG gets thrown in prison after he ________ with ___________________________ in the face.
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It's 1985 in the new timeline and your mom takes you to Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party with pizza. While your friends are drawn to the Time Pilot '84 machine and the skee-ball prizes, you wander into a low-lit room covered in maroon carpeting. On a stage, frozen in the shadows, stands an animatronic dog/man. All you can make out is the aviator glasses draped over his snout.
You put in three tokens. The eyes open, the strobes flash, and you realize that the dog is dressed to resemble G.G. Allin, that man whose face is on the covers of many of your dad's old records, and also the figure from most of your nightmares. Before going dark again he performs "You'll Never Tame Me."
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On the other hand, would Elvis have been the protagonist of this story?
GG Allin " My mind is a machine gun, my body the bullets, and the target is the audience." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZAxGFlLfO0#)
After all this time, I can't tell whose haircut is more offensive: G.G. or the newscasters.
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I think they would cut to a commercial or the music just wouldn't go over that well. I think there's a wrong assumption with most of these predictions that if anyone other than Elvis was on the Ed Sullivan show these days they would have the same level of career as Elvis. I think that rock music wouldn't have taken off with the mainstream and would still be considered "colored" music for another decade. White people would still be into big band until the 70s. GG Allin might become a folk hero to a small few but that's it.
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In Forest Gump, a young Forest would play a crucial role in the formation of GG's stage presence.
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The G.G. version of Having Fun With Elvis On Stage would be AMAZING
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Honky Tonk Man, the greatest WWF Intercontinental Champion of all time, would work a GG gimmick in the ring.
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- R.E.M.'s "Man on the Moon" would ask if Andy's "goofin' on G.G.," with a quick imitation of "Bored to Death." It also would've given Jim Carrey a more challenging role in the movie of the same name.
- A young Declan MacManus would be persuaded by his manager to change his name to G.G. Costello.
- A defiant Chuck D would declare that "G.G. Allin was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me!"
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Note that Extreme Elvis has already sort of fulfilled this prophecy (http://www.extremeelvis.com (http://www.extremeelvis.com)).
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Sometime in the mid-seventies, the world would have been set on its ear when three members of Allin's inner circle went off the reservation to publish GG, What Happened?, a blistering tell-all revealing GG to be a stable, loving family man whose greatest pleasure was to stay in of an evening and work on his stamp collection.
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This:
(http://a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/101/8685072b35604493be386587763d2a19/l.jpg)
... but painted on a velvet canvas.
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G.G. Stojko
G.G. Grbac
G.G. Dumervil
G.G. Andrus
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Last one for the night:
(http://spb.fotolog.com/photo/43/20/86/akire1981/1295669989470_f.jpg)
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I ate breakfast at a Mel's Diner today. Think about that joint post GG, yikes.
edit: I thought Mel's Diner was a national chain, apparently its only out here in California:
http://www.originalmelsdiner.com/ (http://www.originalmelsdiner.com/)
(its a generic "50's" diner.)
Not to mention "American Graffiti" would have probably been a scat/snuff film
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I ate breakfast at a Mel's Diner today. Think about that joint post GG, yikes.
edit: I thought Mel's Diner was a national chain, apparently its only out here in California:
Great pie a la mode.
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Honky Tonk Man, the greatest WWF Intercontinental Champion of all time, would work a GG gimmick in the ring.
The Toilet Rock Man? A few years later an older Greg Valentine would adopt a Merle Allin gimmick and they'd team up
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A Dino Sex gimmick would be even better. Those "special" drum sticks of his would be doubly deadly.
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the New England Patiots logo would change, as it often referred to as 'the Flying Elvis'
(http://z.hubpages.com/u/78516_f260.jpg)
It would have Kevin's visage with a brownish/yellowish smear trailing it as opposed to the red/white/blue
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I have no idea who GG Allen is.
Would my life have different if I never knew who Elvis was? Would reported sightings of GG Allen in Southampton Waitrose Supermarkets and Leeds branches of Kwik Fit make me chuckle?
Would I call GG Allen 'The King'?
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"Wild at Heart" would be a better movie, but Willem Dafoe's and Crispin Glover's characters would be exactly the same.
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Dave Hester would be selling thousands of GG newspapers
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- A defiant Chuck D would declare that "G.G. Allin was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me!"
Actually that would take on a whole new meaning...
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KCRW's GG Mitchell would host "The Excrement" - a weekly interview show dedicated to transgressive cinema.
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- A defiant Chuck D would declare that "G.G. Allin was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me!"
Actually that would take on a whole new meaning...
"GG was a hero to most, but he never threw shit at me."
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instead of shooting his tv, gg would have pooped on it. gross!
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G. G. Allin's '68 Comeback Special
Fat GG and Fatter GG
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Like Elvis, G.G. went through a number of phases. The slim/fat Elvis eras are analogous to the G.G.'s pre/post coprophagia periods.
Like Elvis, poser G.G.fans are keen on praising his early work but G.G.'s swan song "Bloodshed And Brutality For All" is a classic punk album. What was Elvis doing in 1977? Nothing as powerful as "Highest Power" or "Legalize Murder" that is for sure.
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Like Elvis, G.G. went through a number of phases. The slim/fat Elvis eras are analogous to the G.G.'s pre/post coprophagia periods.
Ooh, this reminds me, you know how when theme diners or cookbook authors want to do a "White Trash" or "Trailer Park" theme they always come up with some variation on peanut butter and bananas on white bread and call it an "Elvis Sandwich" or some such?
Well--maybe better to leave to the imagination what would be in a "GG Sandwich."
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Well--maybe better to leave to the imagination what would be in a "GG Sandwich."
Forsooth. Obviously you are referencing human excrement. In reality, G.G.'s cupboard would contain much more variety than you suggest. Please cease and desist with the simplistic fecal obsession.
Just a few items in G.G.'s culinary repertoire:
Jim Beam- "Hangin' Out With Jim"
Peanut Butter Sandwiches and Whiskey- "Outlaw Scumfuc"
Hard Candy- "Hard Candy Cock"
Rectally Discharged Hotdogs- "Hated"
Meat- "Young Little Meat"
Maize- "Cornhole Lust"
Leftovers- "Eat My Leftovers"
Secret Ingredient- "Drink From The Pissing Snake Mouth"
...now if you posit that Elvis was the proto-bacon sweets innovator, things get interesting. Inappropriate bacon creep is now acceptable to the American palate- bacon candy bars, bacon pie, bacon lollipops etc. Let your imagination run wild. What if G.G. took Elvis' place? Can you imagine the wacky menu items one could sample at the Wisconsin State Fair. Think G.G.-style cheese curds...
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Admittedly in my simplistic fecal obsession I forgot about the rectally discharged hot dogs! But well played, Sir!
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What would be the equivalent of Graceland?
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What would be the equivalent of Graceland?
The Ice Pick in Muskegon.
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Johnny Bravo would look way different.
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Fried peanut butter and *what* sandwiches?!
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Hey, hey GG Allin, I wrote you a song
'Bout a funny ol' world that's a-comin' along.
Seems sick an' it's hungry, it's tired an' it's torn,
It looks like it's a-dyin' an' it's hardly been born.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES6mdRgKHJQ)
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Hey, hey GG Allin, I wrote you a song
'Bout a funny ol' world that's a-comin' along.
Seems sick an' it's hungry, it's tired an' it's torn,
It looks like it's a-dyin' an' it's hardly been born.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES6mdRgKHJQ)
That sounds like quite a Father's Day.
Also, please, please tell me they threw out that chair between segments.