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FOT Community => Links => Topic started by: Greggulator on January 17, 2011, 12:06:33 PM

Title: Modern Butlers
Post by: Greggulator on January 17, 2011, 12:06:33 PM
www.modernbutlers.com (http://www.modernbutlers.com)

http://www.boards2go.com/boards/board.cgi?user=modernbutlers (http://www.boards2go.com/boards/board.cgi?user=modernbutlers)

There's a website I discovered called "Modern Butlers" which is by, for, and about the butlers of this modern era. There is also a message board. I've been known to infiltrate it on occassion (and have been banned about 500 times). It's completely bizarre. It's also 100% serious.

Topics discussed include "desert spoon placement" and "holding doors for party guests."

The proprietor of the website is Steven Ferry who is prompt with responses to all sorts of questions.

Once he was asked on how to best ask the master of the house for a raise:

Quote
Almost always a tricky situation that most of us meet when our employer is not the type to keep track of such matters. I understand one lady's maid stayed with her employer for four decades or so without receiving so much as a single pay raise. I think that betrays not so much loyalty as self abnegation.

So, to your question: Timing is important: pick a moment when you have had the opportunity to wow your employer in some fashion and you know he is relaxed, happy, and with nothing else on his mind or agenda. "May I have a few short words with you, Sir?" followed by "I was wondering, if you be happy with my service over the last three years and feel I have moved beyond the initial trial period, whether you'd consider an increase in my salary? am not seeking an answer now, but would appreciate your considering the matter." And then "May I freshen your glass, Sir?" and leaving.

Alternatively, send him a written note of the same import, and following a series of coups and actions that have left him wel pleased. It might be worth making one of these actions the submission of an annual statement of the household accounts, showing how much money was saved by your astute actions.

Enjoy.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Bryan on January 17, 2011, 12:36:54 PM
This is astonishing. Thanks!
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: effecT on January 18, 2011, 05:02:34 AM
I actually love this response.
Great scoop, Gregg!
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Shaggy 2 Grote on January 18, 2011, 04:59:28 PM
!!!

Quote
In Love With My Master's Daughter
IP: 69.64.213.2
Posted on October 5, 2010 at 06:50:17 AM by Butler Near The Sea

Hello All. I am in need of urgent advice and am glad I discovered this forum.

I have worked at a new estate for the past two years. The master and his wife are an incredible couple -- they give their largess to a variety of wonderful causes like the Tea Party movement and once a year open their grounds to a variety of poor orphans whom live in the area for a day of play and fun (although, I must say, these poor orphans make my life difficult as they dirty up the property!)

This couple has a daughter whom I have not met recently as she was away at college and then spent a year away from home to find herself when I was hired.

Upon the first time I saw her, I fell in love with her. Her eyes sparkle with the intensity of 1,0001 fireflies. She is smart (she has read poetry at area open mic nights!) She is funny -- the jokes she makes at Orphan's Day are amongst the funnies I've ever heard. She is everything that I have ever wanted in a woman.

Alas, the difficulties. She is the daughter of my employer! And now that she is staying at the estate, I am her employee of sorts as well. I know that I'm just the help and it's not my place to have these feelings.

It is quite the problem. I have also watched the fabulous movie The Bodyguard several times -- it's not about a butler, of course, but it's a similar theme.

I know the perils of being in love with an employer. But it's also one that I can't find myself escaping!

Any advice would be of extreme help.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: AllisonLeGnome on January 18, 2011, 05:22:12 PM
That post can't possibly be real, can it? Maybe I'm just reluctant to believe.

I think I've just found my next band name: The Blogging Butlers (http://bloggingbutlers.wordpress.com/)
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Greggulator on January 18, 2011, 05:38:05 PM
The author of the post in question is known to co-host a basketball podcast linked at the bottom of this post.

Ones that me or my friends wrote that have been taken down:

"How Do You Apologize to a Child?"

"Were Butlers Rewarded Enough in the Stimulus Package?"

"Case Study: Trying Not to Cry at Night"
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: cavorting with nudists on January 18, 2011, 05:56:59 PM
Too many typos and grammatical errors to have been written by someone fastidious enough to buttle.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Shaggy 2 Grote on January 18, 2011, 06:59:02 PM
Yeah, "the intensity of 1,0001 fireflies" is kind of a giveaway.  Still, I liked it.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: fish on January 18, 2011, 07:34:23 PM
Quote
I can't tell you how many times I have seen the so called professionals Butlers in Hotels chewing gum, feet and body leaning on the walls. you might even try some Military training...There is nothing sharper than those who have been trained by the military. The have a professional deameanor and stature. Sometimes you might just video tape your employees slouching,leaning on the desk, leaning on walls...then show it to them...see if they then get it...If not, look for someone who does...

These crazy butlers are OUT OF CONTROL!
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Senator Gothman (D-OR) on January 19, 2011, 12:59:09 AM
Maybe I didn't dig far enough, but I was looking for a thread wherein the participating butlers fanatically critique the butlering styles of famous fictional butlers played by actors William Powell (My Man Godfrey), Sir Anthony Hopkins (The Remains of the Day), and Christopher Hewett ("Mr. Belvedere").
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Greggulator on January 19, 2011, 09:18:21 AM
Maybe I didn't dig far enough, but I was looking for a thread wherein the participating butlers fanatically critique the butlering styles of famous fictional butlers played by actors William Powell (My Man Godfrey), Sir Anthony Hopkins (The Remains of the Day), and Christopher Hewett ("Mr. Belvedere").

Steven Ferry, who is *THE* Modern Butler behind the site, frequently touts Remains of the Day and Gosford Park to hopeful butlers.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Sarah on January 19, 2011, 02:35:55 PM
What's his position on Jeeves?  I'm talking both Wodehouse and Ames versions here.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Wes on January 19, 2011, 03:22:14 PM
I would be interested to learn the impact of the AskJeeves search site on the the modern butler. Were they consulted in its creation? Did they feel that the site accurately portrayed their industry insofar as how a modern butler's skill-set might theoretically be translated into the domain of search engines/site listings? Did its failure lower the confidence and performance of existing butlers and/or reduce the amount (and quality!) of newer potential butlers?

I would also be interested in hearing their answers to similar questions on that episode of Newsradio where Bill had his butler, Cadbury.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: fish on January 19, 2011, 03:41:17 PM
They seem to be very polite and accomodating. You have to wonder what they do to cut loose after a long day of butling.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Senator Gothman (D-OR) on January 19, 2011, 04:22:21 PM

I would also be interested in hearing their answers to similar questions on that episode of Newsradio where Bill had his butler, Cadbury.

 :D

"Come on, Cadbury, do a little dance."
"What kind of dance, sir?"
"Ohhh, I don't know. A boogie dance!"
"Very good, sir."
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Sarah on January 19, 2011, 04:36:02 PM
Then there's Mother Carlson's butler on WKRP.  I can't imagine he measures up.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Pidgeon on January 19, 2011, 05:24:27 PM
I wonder if there's a code of ethics specifically for butler witticisms.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: fish on January 19, 2011, 05:25:11 PM
Does anyone think this butler podcast might be worth checking out?

http://modernbutlers.com/media-store/podcasts.aspx (http://modernbutlers.com/media-store/podcasts.aspx)
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Sarah on January 19, 2011, 06:52:32 PM
I think it's obvious you need to go on a mission to determine the answer to that question and then share your findings with the rest of us.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: fish on January 19, 2011, 07:17:34 PM
I think it's obvious you need to go on a mission to determine the answer to that question and then share your findings with the rest of us.

Ugh, maybe.  I would just have my butler do it, but he's not allowed to listen to podcasts.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Greggulator on January 19, 2011, 09:43:12 PM
I have listened to the Modern Butler podcast. I loved it.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: fish on January 19, 2011, 10:01:49 PM
How was the Paul F Tompkins episode?
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Eric Fishlegs on January 19, 2011, 11:57:46 PM
What do you suppose makes butlers laugh? Who is the most popular stand up comedian amongst butlers?  It's quite a fascinating subculture.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Martin on January 20, 2011, 08:23:03 AM
What do you suppose makes butlers laugh?

I'm guessing P.G. Wodehouse.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: yesno on January 20, 2011, 09:29:58 AM
What's his position on Jeeves?  I'm talking both Wodehouse and Ames versions here.

What do you suppose makes butlers laugh?

I'm guessing P.G. Wodehouse.

Jeeves was a valet, not a butler--a gentleman's personal gentleman--so I would imagine butlers find that sort of humor hard to fathom.

Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Sarah on January 20, 2011, 09:37:55 AM
Quite right.  I'm mortified.

Maybe butlers make valet jokes, sort of like Polish jokes.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Martin on January 20, 2011, 09:51:41 AM
They're all servants to me.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Kim Kelly on January 20, 2011, 09:52:58 AM
Come to think of it, I don't know anyone who has a butler. Live-in maids and au pairs, yes. Butlers, no.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: cavorting with nudists on January 20, 2011, 10:03:04 AM
Actually, I can say for sure that I don't know anyone with a butler without even coming to think of it.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Greggulator on January 20, 2011, 10:56:14 AM
My friend wanted to start a Kickstarter account so I could attend the Starkey International butler school that the website frequently cites as the best educational facility for prospective butlers.

Also: I found this on the Butlers' Pantry section of The Butler's Blog.

Quote
My employer recently returned from a shooting weekend and informed me that many of his fellow guests had commented on how exceptionally smart and shiny his shoes were. I was delighted by the compliment.

There are then a few paragraphs explaining the best ways to shine the shoe's of a social better. It's very helpful.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: cavorting with nudists on January 20, 2011, 11:12:49 AM
If only the H-Man had had that information, how different things might be today.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Wes on January 20, 2011, 12:28:58 PM
My friend wanted to start a Kickstarter account so I could attend the Starkey International butler school that the website frequently cites as the best educational facility for prospective butlers.

Also: I found this on the Butlers' Pantry section of The Butler's Blog.

Quote
My employer recently returned from a shooting weekend and informed me that many of his fellow guests had commented on how exceptionally smart and shiny his shoes were. I was delighted by the compliment.

There are then a few paragraphs explaining the best ways to shine the shoe's of a social better. It's very helpful.

Now I'd like to hear/read a butler's commentary on the "Go get yer shinebox!" scene in Goodfellas. Probably a horrified "Why has he not yet retrieved his bootblacking kit?" stance.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Christina on January 20, 2011, 01:31:42 PM
Where do they stand on dogsbodies?
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: AaronC on January 20, 2011, 01:40:28 PM
They seem to be very polite and accomodating. You have to wonder what they do to cut loose after a long day of butling.

(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lctkq9clux1qd5bcwo1_500.gif)
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: AllisonLeGnome on January 20, 2011, 04:19:50 PM
It seems to be inactive, but I somehow ended up at a similarly weird internet community:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/archive/index.php/t-853.html (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/archive/index.php/t-853.html)
Quote
We have had numerous reports (reported-posts) about the rash of haircutting-videos that have been posted here at LHC. While we understand that the general reason these are posted is to "share the horror and we all band together to say how disappointing it is when long hair is shorn", the reality of it is that the vast majority of such videos exist for the sole purpose of gratification (yes, THAT sort of gratification, Grandma) and when WE link to them, the people who post them then can follow-back to our site. I can guarantee you that you don't want the video-owner to follow you back here, and neither do we.

There is a dark underbelly to such videos, and it's the exact sort of folks we don't want hanging around here, stealing our pictures and preying on our members.

For this reason, we have had to update the guidelines (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/index.php?page=tos (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/index.php?page=tos)). Please note that we are no longer allowing the linking of haircutting videos here unless the videos/pictures meet two specific criteria:

1) The video or picture is for the express purpose of demonstrating a styling technique or achieving a certain hairstyle,
AND
2) The video is not voyeuristic in nature, does not glorify the cutting of hair and also does not make the "customer" (the one getting the haircut) appear in any way to be a victim.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Greggulator on January 20, 2011, 04:39:00 PM
I think you stumbled on their archive.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/ (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/)

This looks REALLY active and something I will be posting on at some point tonight, despite having short hair.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: buffcoat on January 20, 2011, 06:06:55 PM
I like the way the English say "vallit" rawthah than "val-ay."
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: fish on January 21, 2011, 12:19:49 AM
They seem to be very polite and accommodating. You have to wonder what they do to cut loose after a long day of butling.

(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lctkq9clux1qd5bcwo1_500.gif)

This is why you don't want a sassy butler like G.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Eric Fishlegs on January 21, 2011, 10:04:26 PM
My friend wanted to start a Kickstarter account so I could attend the Starkey International butler school that the website frequently cites as the best educational facility for prospective butlers.

Also: I found this on the Butlers' Pantry section of The Butler's Blog.

Quote
My employer recently returned from a shooting weekend and informed me that many of his fellow guests had commented on how exceptionally smart and shiny his shoes were. I was delighted by the compliment.

There are then a few paragraphs explaining the best ways to shine the shoe's of a social better. It's very helpful.

Butler school could be a good alternative for you if you don't get the gig as Tom's protege. It's good to have a plan B in life.
Title: Re: Modern Butlers
Post by: Joe Rogaine on January 23, 2011, 09:59:27 AM
I expected the butler forum to be just a bunch of threads bashing Fonzworth Bentley.