FOT Forum
FOT Community => Links => Topic started by: Sploops on June 19, 2007, 02:31:37 PM
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A thread for all us preverts to post all things profane and prurient (and funny)
First up: Fart Porn (http://www.boreme.com/boremerigid/funny-2004/fart-porn-p1.php)
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Not safe for Petey!
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Ugh, at least it's not cumfarting, which is Not Safe for Anyone, if you ask me (you didn't). And, you know, I'm usually opposed to creative spellings of "come," but "comefarting" just doesn't look right.
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That struck me as contrived and implausible even for porn.
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That struck me as contrived and implausible even for porn.
While we don't usually agree about porn, I think you've hit the nail on the head in this case. Also, Mrs. Cocker is right: Not safe for anyone, indeed.
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While we don't usually agree about porn . . .
Really? I thought we did. Oh well.
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That struck me as contrived and implausible even for porn.
Based on this, I'd like to nominate Sarah as the board's resident porn reviewer. Sorry, Laurie, but I'm looking for a more jaundiced take on things.
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Shall I forward her my copy of Gaytanamo, then? And The Fist and the Furious II?
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No, thanks, Laurie. My life is dull enough as it is without adding porn into the mix.
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My life is dull enough as it is without adding porn into the mix.
You're only making me further lament what might have been.
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The first time I ever saw a porn flick, I seriously annoyed my viewing companion by pointing out all the continuity problems and laughing uproariously at the over . . . acting. That was sort of fun, but it's been downhill since then. Although I do recall being touched by the plight of the star of another masterpiece because he had two penises. Think of the difficulty finding comfortable trousers.
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When did getting raped become the new getting hit in the nuts? Seriously, what's up with that?
(http://pr0n.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/f/f5/Surprise-buttsecks.jpg/200px-Surprise-buttsecks.jpg)
(http://sc.tri-bit.com/images/1/15/4JQUCUJ6YPGSB4IQ7HNVGBSFE5AEL6XT.gif)
(http://www.cartoonsforgrownups.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/handbanana.jpg)
(http://sc.tri-bit.com/images/c/cb/S35TXXW32YL74SQE5NFBHPY6KBB727ZY.jpg)
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That first lolcat one confirms my suspicion that lolcat captions are written by repressed future child murderers.
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(http://boobz.animatedboobs.com/animatedboobs.com-097.gif)
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You pervs have probably already seen THIS (http://jj.am/gallery/v/Porn/Corn_001/). It's the one with the fat guy eating corn and fornicating with some young ladies.
Warning: this WILL haunt your dreams, I know it has mine. ::shivers::
Here's an altered SFW preview
(http://jj.am/gallery/d/27596-1/corn7shop.jpg)
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I shan't click on that link. Your SFW preview is already going to haunt my dreams. :(
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What the hell is the point of this? I mean, why corn? Why would anyone specifically be interested in seeing a hefty guy eat corn while fucking? Pornography is depressing and dopey enough without bringing canned vegetables into it.
I suppose I should just be grateful he wasn't eating canned peas (canned corn is bad enough, but canned peas are really nasty, although I'm well aware they have their devoted fans, my uncle Beezer among them).
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To be fair, Sarah, that is not professional porn. That is amateur crud. Some dude bought a tripod for his camera and though it would be funny to pork his lady friend whilst eating corn. I hope she made him pay extra for that.
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Well, at least he wasn't getting paid. On the down side, she might not have been, either.
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Well, at least he wasn't getting paid. On the down side, she might not have been, either.
No, I'm pretty sure you have to pay someone to do that sort of thing. My sexual behavior prof used to tell us stories about his studies of prostitutes. I remember he told us one of the women he interviewed said a guy would pay her $500 just to crush an egg with the heel of her shoe onto his chest. Or something like that. I don't remember all of the details, I just remember that was pretty much all she had to do for her payday with that date. People are weird.
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Worst thread ever.
(http://www.progets.com/simpsons/pics/the%20comic%20book%20guy%20pondering.gif)
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agreed.
srsly who wants a thread full of shite like this:
[youtube=425,350]-k98bRUOb4g[/youtube]
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Once again, after reading comments on youtube, I am compelled to say, "Yikes!" Christ, there are some fucked up people on the intertubes.
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(http://pics.livejournal.com/twoflower/pic/0002e4dt/s640x480)
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Three comments:
1. Those young man sure do like that box. Could it be they heard the slang term and were confused as to its meaning?
2. I wonder how much time those kids spend practicing in front of a mirror.
3. Why on earth should this clip arise such racist ire among the YouTube community? I'm puzzled.
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I'm puzzled.
You can say that again. I thought air sex was a solitary activity.
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More than anything, they reminded me of my new pup when he was just discovering the joys of humping. Sometimes, my old lady dog would just walk away from his clumsy attempts, and he'd be left convulsing in midair. Being a teenager and a boxer, he is built like those young men and similarly flexible.
Actually, come to think of it, when they were working on the box, they called to mind my sister's dog, whose favorite hobby is to mouth a particular afghan (a throw, not a dog) while languidly humping it. She's a girl dog, by the way.
P.S. You'll all be glad to know that Zach was snipped last Thursday, as I mentioned elsewhere. Unfortunately, he is suffering complications from the procedure (the upside of this is that it allowed me to start a thread called "My dog's scrotum" on another board). It's time for me to ice his groin right now, as a matter of fact.
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agreed.
srsly who wants a thread full of shite like this:
[youtube=425,350]-k98bRUOb4g[/youtube]
Now that I've seen this it makes a lot more sense that some dudes I know made this.
[youtube=425,350]aEMG9YwnNvw[/youtube]
Cause I honestly was at a loss before.
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They're feeling much better now, thank you very much. The improvement is so dramatic that I foresee being able to forgo a trip to the vet, since my sister Martha is willing to resurrect her medical skills briefly and take his stitches out for me.
In other news . . .
Weather conditions in Lubec today: 50 degree Fahrenheit and dense fog. I plan to take advantage of this to plant clover in my front yard, which I recently had rototilled for just this purpose. No more fretting about lawn mowing for this cookie.
How's this for a totally off-topic post?
I do my best.
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I thought that was going to be about Zach Galifianakis.
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I had no idea he has exticles, too!
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He might have neuticles.
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I just threw up :-[
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(http://www.zachgalifianakis.com/images/gal/gal17.jpg).