This Ross Character ... Your chance to be a Forum Fisticuffsman.

[Steve in North Hollywood]

So, at the end of the show on 04/08, that Ross guy called up and tried to chew out Tom and made a big mistake by saying that Tom should be removed from the air.  Furthermore, he made his plans known to us that he does indeed plan to carry on his Tom-hating nonsense.

Now, as the FOTs, I know most of us are already onboard with the idea that Tom will just rise above this nonsense, and I think we should too and keep it off the phones.  But, why not post some of your own Telephone Tough-guy (or Forum Fisticuffsman) stylings here in the forum? 

  You're standing outside the WFMU studios, this Ross FWD comes walking across the street saying he's gonna give Tom and Mike "what for."

  You have one paragraph to explain what you'd do to him for threatening The Best Show on WFMU.

  My ideas:
    Ross comes storming across the street with hate on his tongue.  I hear him mouthing off about the Best Show, so I stop him in his tracks and say something like "Yippy Ki Yay, mother-father."  He swings at me, so I take a good knuckle sandwich to the chin, but it's worth it because I get in close enough to deliver a crane-head strike to his adams-apple.  With my wrist still on his throat, I simply twist my hand so I palm his neck.  Then I manuever him so he's now facing away from me.  I give him a good shoe to the backside to start him walking across the street away from the studio, and I say "You're Welcome."  He realizes his mistakes and keeps walking.

[Regular Joe]

That was pretty good.

I can't do fan fiction from the perspective of WFMU's door security. After the Barn Owl Bill incident, it wouldn't be right. I could MAYBE do it from the perspective of Barn Owl Bill AS the door security of WFMU, but you would have to give me something like a prize, or money.

[ericluxury]

steve's post

Have you ever heard Patton's joke about how his new TiVo wants to be the best TiVo it can be and get the Grape Job sticker? Sometimes you remind me of that, Steve. I don't mean this as an insult exactly but you are burning too hot even on the thread. You are a friend of Tom, you listen to the show, you call and you pledged. Why are you trying to be the top dog with so much force?

[B_Buster]

I think Steve is a go-getter, a real Sammy Glick. He reminds me a little of another regular caller named Steve, or more specifically, Stevie.

[Julie]

steve's post

Have you ever heard Patton's joke about how his new TiVo wants to be the best TiVo it can be and get the Grape Job sticker? Sometimes you remind me of that, Steve. I don't mean this as an insult exactly but you are burning too hot even on the thread. You are a friend of Tom, you listen to the show, you call and you pledged. Why are you trying to be the top dog with so much force?

Are you jealous?

[Josh]

I think Steve is a go-getter, a real Sammy Glick. He reminds me a little of another regular caller named Steve, or more specifically, Stevie.

or the pornographer, Steve E. Bleu

[Fig Neutron]

I give to Ross a combination of what every caller who 'lost there cool' did in their stories. 

[Phantom Hugger]

I think Ross needs to test drive all the phony pre-topic topics, then go coffin shopping.

[Fig Neutron]

Thanks for reminding me to finally check out Garfield Minus Garfield.   

[masterofsparks]

I think Steve is a go-getter, a real Sammy Glick. He reminds me a little of another regular caller named Steve, or more specifically, Stevie.

Interesting comparison. The question now becomes "Does this guy have the juice?"

[Steve in North Hollywood]

steve's post

Have you ever heard Patton's joke about how his new TiVo wants to be the best TiVo it can be and get the Grape Job sticker? Sometimes you remind me of that, Steve. I don't mean this as an insult exactly but you are burning too hot even on the thread. You are a friend of Tom, you listen to the show, you call and you pledged. Why are you trying to be the top dog with so much force?

I have heard that joke, and I love it ... And according to TiVo, Patton loves the horsey shows!!!

I've been showing up on the boards so much because I'm chained to a desk from 11pm to 7am, five nights a week, listening to the Best Show archives, with no access to AIM, Myspace or Final Draft 7, and no time to just kick back and read a book.  I didn't think I was trying to be the top dog, but hey, if you see greatness here ... then your concept of greatness is tragically skewed.  Nevertheless, I do wake up every day, peel a fresh "Grape Job!!!" sticker off the sheet and adhere it to my left bicep as a reminder to everyone.  Everyone.

[Shaggy 2 Grote]

As someone who posts 15 times a day when I am supposed to be working on other stuff, and posts faster than he can think, I can say that I don't think anyone is responding to your presence so much as...  well, you seem like a nice fellow, Steve, just a tiny bit...  how shall I put this... overcaffienated.  Keep on posting, just don't forget to breathe.

[yaysarcasm]

All I know is the whole scenario of Tom fighting Ross from "the hotel to the Colgate clock" is hilarious to me, because I've been working in jersey city for the past four months now and nobody I know has been there, let alone described an imaginary fight to the death using it as a setting.