I'd be very curious to see how James Garner and Dabney Coleman play short. And British.
Here's another take on the same trio: Eminem's mummy tells him that the man he always thought was his father is not and that he is in fact the by-product of a misguided threesome. Determined to confront his real papa, he tracks down the two male participants--played, of course, by Coleman and Garner--who are conveniently living in the same retirement community, where they have a "Grumpy Old Men" kind of relationship. Eminem gets a job as a handyman there, and hilarity ensues as he quizzes each geezer about his past, meeting with much crotchety resistance and many off-color reminiscences. Giving up on getting straight answers from either of them, he uses his access to the facilities to secure hair samples from the old coots' bathroom trash. Unfortunately, he manages to mix them up so that when he gets the results, he reveals all to the wrong man. Coleman (or Garner) is surprisingly thrilled to find out about his by-blow, but the excitement precipitates a heart attack. In the hospital, Eminem learns his supposed father's blood type and realizes that he could not be the man's son. Given his unfather's condition, he doesn't have the heart to explain the mistake, fearing the disappointment might lead to a final crisis. As he sits by the bedside, Garner (or Coleman) enters the room, heartbroken at the thought of losing his old friend/rival. The two settle down for a death watch. When the patient finally dies a touching death, his friend is devastated, having lost the only human being he cares about. Eminem reveals his true identity, and the surviving codger, overwhelmed with joy at the news that he's not alone in the world after all, has a fatal stroke. Eminem, having inadvertently caused the demise of both men, stares stonily into space. The end.
