I really want to write about my trip to Chicago but have no outlet to do so except for here. So here is what we did!
DAY 1
We landed at the airport and were immediately impressed with how simple Chicago's mass transit system is to use (since Philly's sucks. Seriously, SEPTA -- you're the one thing holding us back from being the best city in the world!) We made it to our Red Roof Inn located downtown. Across the street from us was Garret's Popcorn -- we thought it was weird at first that a popcorn store existed, let alone one with a line extending halfway down the block! WTF is up with your popcorn scene, Chicago?
We had three reasons for going on this trip: Pizza, Baseball and to see some friends (in that order). So we went to Geno's East first. I dug the atmosphere since it reminded me a lot of Chickie's and Pete's in Philly, which is a local sports bar institution. We weren't so impressed with their deep dish, however. After that, we walked around some more and ended up going to Navy Pier. We realized this was a mistake as soon as we saw the Bubba Gump Shrimp Fiasco (or whatever it's called) and a Margaritaville. So we hopped on the Water Taxi to take it to the end of Grant Park.
I have taken many similar types of boats in my day. And I have never taken a boat ride quite like this in my life, one in which it made me wish I paid attention in the part of the trip where they tell you how to use a life preserver. The boat keps rocking back and forth at these really dicey angles and a few kids started crying. We ended up getting out at the end of the park and walked through the Taste of Chicago thing. We knew about this going in and were excited by it. But then we realized the crowds were insane -- like on one of those days when every single high school in the state of New Jersey is having a trip to Great Adventure-level crowd. So we just strolled through the rest of the park and then took a nap.
After the nap, we got together with my friend Becky and her husband who live in Lincoln Square. We were once again left impressed with how easy it is to get to an outlying neighborhood in Chicago. I walked past some bookstore on Milwaukee Ave. that had the word "blood" in the title and wanted to go in but it was closed -- didn't get a chance to check it out but it seemed REALLY metal and awesome. We ended up eating at Revolution Brewery -- I had a very good pork belly sandwich. The four of us then got TastiFreeze where I was mocked by everyone for getting a Fruit Punch Milkshake. Then we went back to my friends' place and me and Becky talked about college and bored my wife and her husband to death. Then we went back.
DAY 2 - SUNDAY
We woke up a little late because we had tickets to sit at one of the rooftops at Wrigley, which is something I've wanted to do since the first time I saw the Cubs play on TV when I was 4. I made the mistake of thinking you could get to Wrigley on the Blue Line which cost us some time, but we figured out how to get there via bus. We were shocked at the lack of horrific violence between Cubs/White Sox fans! The rooftop seats were awesome -- the tickets were more money than I would even spend on dental care, but it's all you can eat and drink and a truly singular American experience and something I'll never be able to do again. (I'm still justifying it.) It was quite honestly one of the best things I've ever done.
We were going to walk around Wrigleyville but quickly realized that it was Frat Central and not for us. I wanted to go to Boystown to take a picture of me next to a Boystown sign -- I've been the brains behind a fake boy band I created in college called BoyzTown for about 12 years -- but the crowds were alittle much so we went another route.
I figured out how to get to Wicker Park so we went down there. We walked through the park and then back to the main streets. We eventually found Quimby's Books and FELL IN LOVE. I got some Chunklet Hipster Quiz (I was sold when they made a joke about being in an all-white ska band from Florida) and my wife got some McSweeney's thing. I then saw that they had ACTUAL PRINT FANZINES at this place and was shocked since I haven't even contemplated print fanzines in ages! Then I saw they had a copy of GO METRIC, which blew my mind. GO METRIC is made by these guys from Staten Island where were in band called Egghead that played a ton of VFW shows that I went to as a kid. I wrote an article for them way back in the day -- my brother's a regular contributor and they're really good friends of his.
The guy at the bookstore told me that a lot of people have started a "Taking Print Back" movement where people make actual fanzines as opposed to dumb blogs. So I have decided to make my own fanzine this summer. Anyways, Quimby's could not POSSIBLY have been better.
After that, we went to Ukrianian Village and ate dinner at Roots -- it's a "Quad Cities" pizza place our friends told us about, since apparently they make pizza differently in Davenport and East Moline. This was fine.
DAY 3 -- MONDAY, 4th OF JULY
My wife woke me up a LOT earlier than I wanted to so she could go to the beach. I HATE the beach (being very Irish means I get sunburned during the dark of night) but she loves it so I had to go. We went to Oak Street for a while. It's pretty weird to think that beaches in Chicago are a really big deal -- who knew? I swam for a bit while my wife laid on a towel and I ended up getting grossed out when I saw a Band-Aid floating in the water and we left.
We ended up walking around some more and ended up going to the dumb restaurant on top of the John Hanckock Tower. The views were terrific. I could not NOT possibly have felt worst for the staff at this place. It has this chic kind of feel but it's filled with tourists wearing socks with sandals -- not a good matchup and it results in people complaining about how much their Amstel Light costs.
We were then on our way to see the White Sox/Royals play at US Cellular Field. This could have been the most obnoxious subway ride ever. This blob right in front of me decided for some reason to talk to everyone else on the train. He settled in on this one guy and pestered him with 20 questions. The best quote from the blob: "Man, I went to the Oregon State Fair one yet. That was the best music concert I've ever been to my entire life."
Before the game, I wanted to stop by this bar Schiller's Pump which is a few blocks away from the stadium. It's the oldest bar in Chicago supposedly and was the unofficial headquarters of the first Mayor Daley. This place was AWESOME and right up my alley -- a total dive bar with people with local accents and cans of beer and soda. We then went back to The Cell and stopped at the hot dog stand on 35th street right across the street and were BLOWN AWAY.
I wasn't expecting much from this stadium but -- WOW -- what a shockingly great place to see a game! The stadium itself is bleh but White Sox fans are terrific and very Philly-ish. I decided that if we lived in Chicago, my wife would be a Cubs fan since she's a lot more of a hipster yuppie than I am and I would be a White Sox fan since I like to pretend that I'm blue collar. They also serve elote (Mexican corn) at the stadium and it was delicious -- hilarious since they claim it's "healthy" even though it sits in a pound of melted butter. They also have a thing where fans can report on unruly behavior by texting it to security. It's called RISE ABOVE, which further endeared me because that sounds like an awful New Jersey Hardcore band. Gordon Beckham also comes out to The Outfield's "Your Love" and the crowd sings along which is great.
The game itself was really great -- Adam Dunn had a single and a home run and got standing ovations from the crowd both times since he's been AWFUL. I liked that. Then it ended in the bottom of the 9th on a BALK OFF! I'm sort of obsessed with balks and to see a game end like this was a true dream come true.
They had fireworks after the game which were amazing. Then on the way out, you could see fireworks shows from all over Chicagoland from the walkway out of the stadium. This was awesome.
After this, we went back downtown and ate at Lou Minalti's (or however you spell it). The pizza was incredible. Even better was what was going on at the bar. There was a guy there who was clearly the best looking man who ever lived -- imagine a cross between Bradley Cooper and Dane Cook but about 50,000 times more handsome and movie-star ish. These three women arrived and sat right by him and were clearly enthralled by him. Any corny thing he said elicited howls of laughter not heard of except for at Richard Pryor shows in his prime. He also talked about his career "consulting" and his adventure travel through Africa.
DAY 4 -- TUESDAY
We went up to Lincoln Park and grabbed lunch at a place called RJ Grubb's. Their burger and milkshake were quite good. We then met up with my friend Kent Haines (who was named Philly's Phunniest Comic in a local contest a few years back and had a set of his on some Comedy Central show -- one the funniest people I know and a fan of The Best Show) and walked around the zoo. Kent then took us to Wicker Park (where he lives) and we hung out at Peace for a bit before deciding to head back downtown.
When we were at the Jackson subway stop, the street performer there played one of the most surreal songs ever. He was a rapper and his song was roughly three times as long as "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant". And 85% of the song was him repeating the phrase "Chris Brown Ain't Got Nothing On Me." I have no idea -- and don't want to -- know what that means.
We were pretty wiped out and got Giordano's and ate it back in our hotel room and went to bed early.
DAY 5 -- WEDNESDAY
Our final day! We went to the Art Institute -- what a great (and free!) museum! We had a lovely time walking around but hightailed it out of there when we got to the more modern-y stuff. (Sorry if this offends any art folks out there, but I kind of thing Greco and those guys would shed a tear to see what the contemporary stuff of our era looks like.) At the bookstore, I got a book called CHICAGO DISASTER which has chapters on everything from the Great Fire to a deck collapse in 2003. This is easily the worst book I've read since the Spud Webb autobiography and am proud to own it.
We then got food at some place that uses pretzel bread around its sandwiches and walked around Grant Park one last time before we had to leave.
OVERALL -- Chicago, you are a fantastic city! We had a terrific time. Hopefully we will be able to come back some time! Thank you so much for having us!
