Kevin Smith it: like Turk 182 it

[Richard_From_CHI]

Imagine, if you will, if Kevin Smith had a time machine, what movies would have been the most horrifying if he had directed them.

1) The Godfather - Don Corleone would have spent the whole movie hanging out with some pal by the local market, "I've gonna make you an offer you can refuse, snootchie boochies"

2) Harry Potter, as previously discussed. It'd be full of toilet talk, and chock full of drama like Degrassi, but much much worse. Harry would smoke lots of pot with Dumbledore, Ron would get Hermoine "in trouble". Awful.

3) Easy Rider, the whole movie would have been the acid scene and Peter Fonda would have worn a hockey jersey.

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[Chris L]

Dog Day Afternoon - Jay & Silent Bob hold up a bank to pay for Stan Lee's sex change operation.

Fanny & Alexander - Repeated jokes about the name "Fanny," accompanied by fart noises and The Band's "The Weight" on the soundtrack (EDIT: I just remembered there's already a fart joke in the movie, so we're halfway there).

Au Hasard Balthasar - 90 minutes of bestiality gags.  Plus, we can now hear the donkey's thoughts, as voiced by Ben Affleck.

[Pride of Staten Island]

A Touch of Evil- Tons of tasteless quasi-racist Mexican jokes, Jay and Silent Bob would have forced marijuana on Janet Leigh's character and she would have loved it and possibly slept with both of them, Orson Wells' character farting constantly

A Clockwork Orange- Alex and droogs portrayed as lovable scamps, rape scene played for laughs, Beethoven replaced with Alanis Morrissette

Kramer vs Kramer- Would be exactly like "Jersey Girl"

[Richard_From_CHI]

Schindler's List

Das Boat

Imagine those two played for laughs.

It'd be "To be or not to be" meets Hogan's Heroes and even less funny.