The 25 Biggest Wusses in Music

[buffcoat]

http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?ID=1990

25 wusses - and Morrissey only merits a couple of comparative mentions?  I beg to differ, sirs!  Have these people never heard, "The Boy with the Thorn in His Side?"

[Emerson]

I always thought of James Taylor as more of a creepy, sarcastic, wife-beating mental patient than a wuss. And yeah, I'd put Morrissey up against any of these people, and Colin Meloy of the Decemberists is even more pathetic than the Moz. Do some research, Blender.

~EmD

[buffcoat]

Let me go on record as saying I love Morrissey's patheticness - I just didn't want to see him left out when he is so deserving.  It's like this list was made for him and he's not even on there.

Oh, well... we hate it when our friends become successful.

[Fido]

http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?ID=1990

25 wusses - and Morrissey only merits a couple of comparative mentions?  I beg to differ, sirs!  Have these people never heard, "The Boy with the Thorn in His Side?"

Wow, did that list ever miss the mark.  What marks did it miss?  To wit:

-- Any number of emo or emo-ish bands/artists of the last several years.  It's a genre practically premised on whininess. 

-- Who were those guys who sing the song with the lyric, "...my weakness is that I care too much"...?  They should be on that list.

-- And Morrissey should be near or at the top of the list.  Lyrics like "for there are brighter sides to life, and I should know, because I've seen them, but not very often."  Songs with titles like "Am I Still Ill?" and "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now."   How can this be anything other than an oversight?

I admit I might be conflating whininess with wussiness, but that list needs to be brought up to date.

[Emerson]

-- Who were those guys who sing the song with the lyric, "...my weakness is that I care too much"...?  They should be on that list.

Papa Roach.

Lyrics like "for there are brighter sides to life, and I should know, because I've seen them, but not very often."

Now that I think about it, Morrissey might have a great sense of humor. Or "humour," I guess - an altogether more subtle, powerful thing we yanks are loathe to comprehend.

With the entire genre of "rock" completely overrrun by wusses (Conor Oberst at one pole, that fucking atrocious Buffy-metal Angel Ashes Fall Funeral shit at the other), I'm not sure why Blender is still beating up on the same hapless, forgotten yacht-rockers. But it was born of Maxim, which ain't exactly the journal of rugged individualism - I'd take a shameless wuss over the sort of self-hating wuss-in-denial that reads that magazine as anything other than a running gag.

~EmD

[Sarah]

I've always thought that Morrissey is wonderfully and intentionally funny.  That's what drew me to him in the first place.  The first Smiths' song I ever heard was "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now," and I fell in love immediately with its combination of hilarity and depression.  Sure, he gets maudlin at times, but more often than not his whining is tempered by a lovely, wry, self-deprecating wit. 

[Jason]

Morrissey could beat seven shades of shit out of anyone on that list.
Even if they all came at him at once and, say, he was in a corridor in Korea armed only with a hammer, he'd still win.

Plus, he sung two songs about child murderers, something nobody else on this list has done with the exception of Hilary Duff.

[buffcoat]

Again, I love Morrissey.  I went to see him in Raleigh a few years back with all the dorks dressed all in black and throwing flowers up on the stage and hitting Morrissey in the face.  He said, "You're pissing me off but you probably don't even care."  They cheered and he said, "you're not even listening to me, are you?"

He played for literally 45 minutes because the third time some kid jumped up on stage and jumped on his back to hug him was enough for him.  He gave us a wry smile and walked off the stage.

His guitarist was the toughest looking dude in a moddish brown suit I have ever seen.  He looked like he was going to kill the proto-emo kids who kept harrassing the boss with their inappropriate love of him.

Come to think of it, I probably would have split, too.


Morrissey told us himself - "there is no one on earth I'm afraid of."

That said, seeing a pudgy Brit with long sideburns wiggle around in a mesh-y shirt in the desert in the "November Spawned a Monster" video probably qualifies him for this list by itself.

[Jason]

So, the first time I cam over for the record fair, in I think 2004, I was at JFK with my friends Debs waiting to board the plane.
There was a group of musicians hanging around in the depature lounge, they looked pretty rockabilly and far too pleased far too pleased with themselves, a few of them smugly brandishing guitar cases. I made a mental note to avoid looking at them, lest I boost their egos further into the stratosphere.
Later on the plane they were hanging around at the back of economy drinking, as was I, and one of them made a comment about a lady entering one of the toilets.
"I wouldn't mind giving you a hand love!", or words to that effect.
The next thing there's a a huge rugby player looking guy looming over them shouting "What did you say about my wife?".

The band guy apologised and, although the big guy was still angry, peace was restored.

Later on, waiting for our baggage at Heathrow we finally started talking and I asked what band they were in thinking I may have heard of them and have an amusing end of holiday story to tell.
You guessed it ladies and gentleman, twas none other than Morrisseys backing band.

[Fido]

Morrissey told us himself - "there is no one on earth I'm afraid of."

And I pretty much believe him.  Of course, that would make him one of the least wussy people on earth.  But at the same time, he beats the pants off anyone else on that list, at the same time, as was noted above. 

I guess Sarah's comment is right -- after reading it -- he's ironic and self-conscious about his schtick, I guess.  And I'm a big fan of the man, which doesn't seem apparent from what I wrote above, as I reread my remark.

[John Junk]

"Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me" is not really funny or ironic, but it's brave in a sense, because it's irredeemably wussy.  Like balls-out wussy.  Like two really small, defiant balls.