Red Hot Chili Peppers

[SpaceBootz]

Dear Tom, I just listened to the 9/18/07 podcast of the Best Show and I wanted to let you know how much I loved your comments on the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I thought they were hilarious actually. I can't begin to add up the number of days I've had to listen to RHCP here at work. The people around me can't seem to get enough of them. Basically, it's either RHCP, Dave Matthews Band or, if I'm lucky, blessed silence. After enduring their music day in and day out, as well as listening to my co-workers ranting and raving about them, it was refreshing to hear your take on the vocal stylings of Anthony Kiedis.

[Sploops]

What do the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman have in common?
Well, Harriet Tubman was a herione to the slaves and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to the herion.
- N. Hmbrgr

[kenkwan]

Why did God invent Alan Alda?

To transport Goldon Globe awards to Hell.

N. Hamburger

[Dorvid Barnas]

Why did Madonna feed her baby Alpo dog food?

She didn't have a choice. That's just what came out of her breasts.

-N. Hamburger

[Josh]

Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanberry sauce.

 - N. Handburger

[paul]

what do you call it when decrepit old dogs regurgitate vomit before dying?
there's a medical term for that.



the rolling stones in concert!

[Forrest]

Geez, somebody just set up the Neil Hamburger thread already.

[Laurie]

You mean Neil Handburger, right??

[Matt]

Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby son out of a window?

Because he refused to finish his plate of sperm.

- Neil Ham/ndburger


(paraphrased)

[paul]

i think this one's my new favorite:


Why does Eric Clapton close his eyes every time he plays a guitar solo?


Cause his audience is so ugly!

[Tim K in DC]

That last one reminded me of perhaps the best Anal See-You-Next-Tuesday (band name obscured for filth-removing purposes) song title: "Conor Clapton Killed Himself Because His Dad Sucks." They ended up changing the title to something like "You Killed Yourself Because Your Dad Sucks" because of record company pressure. The title change was partly sad, because Seth Putnam is nothing if not a man of integrity, but also partly cool, because it allowed these sickos to get paid for producing more records with some of the most hilariously offensive song titles in the history of life itself. http://www.darklyrics.com/a/analcunt.html

[Tim K in DC]

Oh, wait, I forgot we were supposed to be dissing the Red Hot Chili Peppers on this thread.

I hate that band more than few others. They are the definition of once good but now crassly obsolete bands who should be destroyed (not unlike The Rolling Stones or U2) yet manage to make more money than ever by increasing their ubiquity (and wallets, for that matter) and not being destroyed. They are  the house band for my hate pit.

[Laurie]

That last one reminded me of perhaps the best Anal See-You-Next-Tuesday (band name obscured for filth-removing purposes) song title: "Conor Clapton Killed Himself Because His Dad Sucks." They ended up changing the title to something like "You Killed Yourself Because Your Dad Sucks" because of record company pressure. The title change was partly sad, because Seth Putnam is nothing if not a man of integrity, but also partly cool, because it allowed these sickos to get paid for producing more records with some of the most hilariously offensive song titles in the history of life itself. http://www.darklyrics.com/a/analcunt.html

I've seen them live, pre-stroke and post-stroke. I like Adolf Satan and Upsidedown Cross better than Anal Cunt, but AC has the best song titles. It's true. I love "You Went to See Dishwallah and Everclear (You're Gay)." Also, the simplicity of "311 Sucks" is true and wonderful. Other gems: "I Got an Office Job for the Sole Purpose of Sexually Harrassing Women," "No, We Don't Want to Do a Split 7" with Your Stupid Fucking Band," "You Are a Good Food Critic," and "Kyle from Incantation Has a Mustache."

[buffcoat]

I hate that band more than few others.

Wait, so you like the band?

[kenkwan]

That last one reminded me of perhaps the best Anal See-You-Next-Tuesday (band name obscured for filth-removing purposes) song title: "Conor Clapton Killed Himself Because His Dad Sucks." They ended up changing the title to something like "You Killed Yourself Because Your Dad Sucks" because of record company pressure. The title change was partly sad, because Seth Putnam is nothing if not a man of integrity, but also partly cool, because it allowed these sickos to get paid for producing more records with some of the most hilariously offensive song titles in the history of life itself. http://www.darklyrics.com/a/analcunt.html

I've seen them live, pre-stroke and post-stroke. I like Adolf Satan and Upsidedown Cross better than Anal Cunt, but AC has the best song titles. It's true. I love "You Went to See Dishwallah and Everclear (You're Gay)." Also, the simplicity of "311 Sucks" is true and wonderful. Other gems: "I Got an Office Job for the Sole Purpose of Sexually Harrassing Women," "No, We Don't Want to Do a Split 7" with Your Stupid Fucking Band," "You Are a Good Food Critic," and "Kyle from Incantation Has a Mustache."

I remember going to Tower records in high school, and finding an Anal Cunt record, and thinking it was the most hilarious thing I'd ever seen. Songs like, "Everyone in the Underground Music Scene Is Stupid", and "You Looked Divorced".