I knew of this from an excerpt in the Harper's Readings sections a few years ago - the sleaziest part of the interview was placed right after a rant about how middlebrow culture, specifically represented by Terry Gross, was destroying everything. This whole thing is unbelievably great, like an S&W sketch, or that audio transcript of Lyndon Johnson ordering tailored pants and talking about his "nuts" and "bunghole."
Some favorite bits:
Gene Simmons: And Ace -- who's the spaceman in the group, you know -- has delusions of grandeur, and perhaps gravity doesn't quite affect him in the same way, which is to say that he doesn't have good equilibrium, which is a big word, come to think of it. Just like "gymnasium." This is NPR. That's why we're using big words.
***
Gene Simmons: The first thing you need -- besides air, which so far is free, and by the way if you went scuba diving, you're paying for air -- the other thing besides that is food, it's what we need to survive. I don't know what other tool I would use besides money to buy it. Although, as a woman of course you have the ability to sell your body, then get the money, and then, with that, get food. But ultimately money is part of it. And so --
Terry Gross: [laughs] You -- you -- you are weird.
Gene Simmons: Really? How do you get food?
Terry Gross: Well, not by selling my body. But --
***
Gene Simmons: Better research needed. Fire your research person. No fishnet stockings. Never. Not in this band.
***
Terry Gross: No. Let's get to the studded codpiece.
Gene Simmons: Oh yes.
Terry Gross: Do you have a sense of humor about that?
Gene Simmons: No.
Terry Gross: Does that seem funny to you? Are you --
Gene Simmons: No, it holds in my manhood.
Terry Gross: [laughs] That's right.
Gene Simmons: Otherwise it would be too much for you to take. You'd have to put the book down and confront life. The notion is that if you want to welcome me with open arms, I'm afraid you're also going to have to welcome me with open legs.
***
Gene Simmons: I was going to suggest that you get outside of the musty place where you can count the dust particles falling around you. And get out in the world and see what everybody else is doing.
Terry Gross: Having sex with you?
***
Gene Simmons: I would beg you guys to get something else on the air. Something with style. I'd change the call letters. NPR. I'd change it. Give it some oomph. Lexus! Locus! Something. See?
