The FOT's own Dutch?

[Chris L]

If Tom can create Dutch as a composite of every bad one-man show character in existence, I think the Friends of Tom could collaborate on an idea for a Juno-style, audience-coddling, surefire hit faux-indie movie about a plucky high schooler who quips his/her way through some sort of crisis.  I propose "Plunko" as a potential titular character name (originally I thought of "Plinko" but we wouldn't want to get sued by The Price is Right).  We'll need some self-consciously quirky dialogue, a wispy hipster soundtrack, a marketable video store clerk/stripper backstory for the film's auteur, and some sort of crisis -- perhaps a Middlesex-style sudden onset of hermaphroditism?   I'm sure there are better ideas than that floating out there amongst you, so let's see if we can turn this into something here.  Or we can let the thread die a quick death! 

[KickTheBobo]

I really want in on this.

[B_Buster]

What if Plunko was allergic to pot and has to quip his way out of all the awkward scenes that occur as a result of his allergy.

Also, as a backstory, what if the writer has been in a coma for the past couple years and his screenplay has taken on a life of its own as the writer's own life hangs in the balance.

[erika]

I would like to be in charge of clever and "retro" props. I propose incorporating the following into at least 50% of the scenes in the movie:

- Tiny cans of Shasta cola (like you would get in the hospital)
- Slap Bracelets
- Someone wearing a fedora

[Jason]

perhaps a Middlesex-style sudden onset of hermaphroditism?

So maybe the film starts off being about a popular cheerleader and all the attendant shallow bitchiness. She somehow becomes a guy and is shunned by her former social circle but finds acceptance among a group of disgusting neckbeards, weirdos and self-harmers.
She forms this group into a rival cheer leading squad that take cheer leading to the next level with the use of experimental dance, obscure music, prosthetics and special effects. Each member of the group has an area of expertise that Plunko utilises to make a spectacular performance.
The group become more popular than the original cheerleaders and eventually replace them, Plunko is transformed back into a hot girl but has, of course, undertaken a journey of self discovery and does not revert to her old ways.

[B_Buster]

Love it, Jason. Here's the pitch: Bring It On meets X-Men.

[Chris L]

Tying together some of these suggestions, maybe there's an unexplained environmental catastrophe at the Sashta cola processing plant, so that the five people or so who drink it at this high school develop some weird biological or personality quirk that causes them to end up on Plunko's ragtag, mixed-gender cheerleading squad.  One punk-ish girl could suddenly become good at martial arts; one nerdy kid might become a great dancer and start looking and dressing like Elliot Gould in his prime (maybe these two could be rivals for Plunko's confused affections); one of the stoners might suddenly hate pot, as B. Buster suggested, and become intensely religious.  Even the schlubby school principal might pop open a can and become a suave ladies' man who tries to woo a pretty French teacher.  They revert somewhat back to normal at the end after Plunko's wisecracking doctor isolates the cause of their transformations. 

[Beth]

The soundtrack should be middle of the road indie bands covering Elliot Smith songs.

[Sploops]

Plunko should smoke a corncob pipe.

[erika]

The soundtrack should be middle of the road indie bands covering Elliot Smith songs.

Hmmm.... Not quite current enough.

I'd go for middle of the road bands covering (and perhaps remixing?) songs by the Shins. I could totally go for a techno version of Caring is Creepy.

Also, at least one of the main characters needs to wear a Richie Tenenbaum-style headband. In various colors, just to mix it up a bit.

[Beth]

You bested my suggestion, Erika. I like it.

[Matt]

The soundtrack should be middle of the road indie bands covering Elliot Smith songs.

With some requisite "oldies" - someone should snap up the Kinks' "Young and Innocent Days" before Wes Anderson does.

[Sploops]

Plunko should call people "meathead" and tell them to "sit on it" and other sitcom insults.

[Beth]

There has to be gratuitous indie band name dropping throughout the movie, Plunko is an outcast because it wears a sweatband and listens to "edgy" music like The Smiths or something.

Plunko should also have a weird "quirky" food habit, like dipping prunes in mustard. And obviously, Plunko should wear big headphones, but listen to a cassette walkman instead of an ipod.

[KickTheBobo]

Gotta up the thrift store irony production design with some string art: