Dear Tom:
I emailed you about this a while back and was planning on calling in about it, but (1) I can't figure out how to explain it without getting hung up on, and (2) my John From Cincinnati call aside, I don't think I am ever going to make a very interesting caller. It's OK, I know my limits, I'm good at other stuff, and I might give it another shot someday, if only to try and save the show from being overrun by mutants.
Anyway, I would like to know what you think about this strange phenomenon on the message boards for Jim Steinman, famed lyricist for Meat Loaf, Celine Dion, and lots of other terrible stuff:
http://www.jimsteinman.com/wwwboard/fantasy.htm On which his fans are asked what their fantasy evening with Steinman himself would involve. Excerpts:
"Me and Jim Steinman go for a walk on a sandy beach on a clear,
warm night and there is a full moon. I tell him all of my secrets and I cry
then he tells me all of his and he cries. Then we build a fire and watch
the night slip away with a silent understanding between us. To me, that's a
perfect evening."
"I confess all of my sins and he listens then forgives me."
"I get to shampoo that extraordinary gray hair of his! What a turn
on. Once I wash his hair I just keep on going."
"I'd really like to check out one of those radical places he eats
at and get to try everything on the menu. Jim Steinman is the coolest,
hippest, most totally unique guy in the world and the way he does this
proves it. Hey Jim, next time you're going out to eat, count me in -
please!!"
[note--this is a reference to his habit of going out to fancy restaurants
and ordering like half the stuff on the menu--ddw]
"The two of us listen to 900 numbers all night and he picks up the
tab."
"Me and Jim go shopping for clothes. He has a good sense of style
which I really admire. Those mirrored glasses, the leather jackets, those
enormous gloves. Of course if I dressed like him I'd probably look like an
asshole but he looks like Adonis."
"My fantasy night is at the hospital where I give birth to his
child as he lovingly stays by my side."
"I'd let Jim Steinman in through the back-door, if you know what I
mean. I usually wouldn't do it for anyone else but, for Jim, I'll make the
exception."
"Ride a motorcycle naked so I could feel the vibrations between my
legs and see Jim in front of me. (I have a reoccurring dream that I'm
actually having sex with a motorcycle and when I climax the bike always
turns into Jim.)"
"This question is really geared toward women or gays but since I
can't resist answering here is my fantasy with Jim Steinman - keep in mind
that I am 100% straight. We make out. I don't want to kiss a man but I
would kiss him. I'm very curious what a man that writes with such passion
and intensity would kiss like. I would probably learn a lot from this and
be able to put what I learn to use with girls. The logic here is that there
are a million or more women who'd want to kiss him and if I knew how to do
what he does, maybe they'd kiss me. There's a flaw in this logic, I
know...okay maybe I just want to kiss him. So, I'm 99.9% straight!"
"On my fantasy date we go for a motorbike ride and then Jim takes
me home and introduces me to his cats which take an immediate liking to me.
He can't believe it and exclaims 'These cats don't like anyone except me.
You must be the one! We will be married tonight!' Then we are wed and
consummate the marriage in a highly orgasmic (but too private for the
internet) manner. The very first time we have sex he gets me pregnant with
a boy child who we name Jim Steinman Jr. and we have a great life together.
It's like a Cinderella story for the 90's."
