Very funny article. Scientology scares me, though. Although I have it to thank for my best off-the-cuff comment ever: when asked on a Boston street one time whether I'd like to take the personality test, I replied, "No, thanks. I don't want to have my illusions shattered." (I know I've talked about this before--in the chat, I believe--but I have so little to brag about, I hope you'll bear with me).
BMW, I'm sure your self-portrait does not do you justice. And I think "You'll find yourself at age 50 with no teeth left in your mouth because you've gotten in so many fights, and no friends left except people who hate themselves as much as you hate yourself" should be your signature here from now on.