The Wire: Spinoffs!

[KickTheBobo]

How about Carver & Herc: Ghostblunderers.

With the newest budget cutbacks, Carver is forced to moonlight as a ghost hunter, trying to rid the abandoned buildings of the remaining spirits from Marlo's murder spree. He teams up with old pal (and newly unemployed) Herc, who serves as comedic foil to Carver's pragmatic psuedo-scientist.

Kinda like The Real Ghostbusters meets Laurel & Hardy meets X-Files.

BONUS: in every episode, they visit Lester, who provides them with the latest in paranormal technology (out of the trunk of his car).

[Sarah]

Very nice, KtB. 

I can't wait to read what Chris L. comes up with here.

[Wes]

The Wire: Time Patrol

With his master plan of becoming history's greatest criminal finally revealed, Marlo and company have escaped into the past via the Time Machine that Marlo forced Dukie to build. Fearing this could hurt his chances at becoming Governor of Maryland, Carcetti authorizes Daniels to form a Temporal Crimes Unit to follow the Stansfield crew into the past and prevent the head of Baltimore's drug trade from assembling an all-star team of history's greatest villains under his command.

In the pilot episode, a lead on Chris Partlow's whereabouts sends Bunk on a trip to London in 1888, while Beadie, Dozerman and Crutchfield arrive in 1192 just in time to meet the newest Sheriff of Nottingham, a man the locals call Charles the Slim.

[Dorvid Barnas]

Duqie's Dance Party.

[Chris L]

I can't wait to read what Chris L. comes up with here.

I won't even try to top Wes' post, but I'd like to see a Clay Davis talk show.  Maybe a Larry Sanders-esque behind the scenes satire, with Burrell in the Hank Kingsley role and Narese as the b. busting producer.

"If you promote this weed whacker on your final show, Clay, attention will be paid.  But if you go out there and make fun of the sponsor, you'll find yourself on the Shout! Network, out in the damn cold!" 

[bruce]

It's a McNulty Family St Patricks Celebration with music by The Pogues. Sponsored by Jameson. With Bunk dressed up like a pin stripped Leprechaun.

[TremblingEagle]

just dropping in to say
this is a awesome post

[Wes]

With their recent foray into a five-nights-a-week show, here’s a full night of Wire-related programming to go with Time Patrol and help HBO fill out their schedule.

8:00-8:30 PM: More With Lester
A Real Doll House!
After more than 30 years on the police force, Lester Freamon was sure he’d seen it all. But running the Major Crimes Unit didn’t prepare him for this! When Shardene’s new Dance Academy struggles to find its footing, Lester’s plans to run his doll furniture business full time are turned head over heels. Convinced to expand the business and train Shardene’s dancers on the finer points of his craft to help raise money for the Academy, the one-time smartest cop in Baltimore might be the one learning some lessons – in life and friendship – from these lovely ladies.

8:30-9:00 PM: Rap Shee(eeee-i)t
Welcome to the Wild, Wild West!
They say the game is to be sold, not told. Problem is, nobody told Clay Davis! Fed up with carrying water back east, the former Maryland senator has his sights set on some surf and sun when he switches coasts and heads to LA. But Clay Davis just can’t say no to a challenge, and soon he’s helping bring some hustle to the flow at his cousin Dre’s fledgling hip hop label. Is the City of Angels ready for this charismatic devil?

9:00-10:00 PM: The Wire: Time Patrol
The Crimes of The Centuries!

10:00-11:00 PM: The Wire: Tapped Out
The Most Dangerous Game!
When his prized students Justin and Spider go missing, youth boxing mentor Dennis “Cutty” Wise follows up on a Baltimore Sun expose of illegal underground fighting rings in the hopes of finding some answers.  But the former Golden Gloves boxer gets more than he bargained for when Cutty is kidnapped and forced into a nightmare world of high-stakes ultimate fighting, part of a secret tournament run by Baltimore’s elite. With no choice but to fight through this deadly game, where the only prize for the winner is his life, the one-time Barksdale soldier prepares for battle and makes plans to get to the man running the show…the Sun’s Executive Editor, James Whiting.

[Chris L]

The Cedric Daniels B'more Club Workout

Baltimore, MD was named "America's Fittest City" by Men's Fitness in 2006 and Deputy Commissioner for Operations Cedric Daniels is a perfect example why.  Daniels' chiseled physique and rapid career ascent have made him the envy of Baltimore's finest, and some are even calling him the "golden boy" of health and exercise in Charm City. 

Now Daniels has teamed with renowned local DJ and producer Rod Lee for his first exercise dvd.  "A lot of people think that a healthy way of life in Baltimore amounts to constantly stuffing your face with crabcakes and Utz potato chips," Daniels said.  "Frankly, that... is buuullshit."  For this dvd, Daniels and Lee have crafted a workout regimen that develops rock hard abs and improves conditioning while also imparting lessons on popular Baltimore club dances like the "crazy legs" and the "SpongeBob."  It's a routine that'll whip even a "big dummy" into shape in no time. 

And don't miss the special dvd bonus feature with ex-dockworker turned "rockworker" Nick Sobotka, who offers high energy fitness tips for "indie" fans, set to music from the likes of the Palace Brothers and Dead Meadow. 

Here's what a wide variety of Charm City residents are saying:

"Let me state unequivocablly that Cedric Daniels is the man helping to restore our fair citizens' physiques to their former, rippled glory. Furthermore, I occasionally enjoy bobbing along to many of these popular tunes while spending time with my friends and constituents in the eastern district." - Mayor Thomas J. Carcetti

"Watching this dvd every night gave me the physical strength and endurance to rescue a nearby family of three and their adorable little cocker spaniel from a burning apartment building shortly before the fire department arrived late last year." -- unnamed source, Baltimore Sun, January 30, 2008

"What the hell's wrong with the Ramones?" - Det. James McNulty, Baltimore PD

[pmuse]

Setting Sun:
A drama focusing on all that newspaper crap nobody wanted when it was on the Wire.

[JonFromMaplewood]

A new game show:

Juking the Stats with your host, Deputy Commissioner of Operations William Rawls.

Or perhaps a CSI-style spinoff:

The Wire: Maplewood

This season, they take on leaf pickup.

[orangewhip]

Wire Kidz

  Follow the madcap adventures of animated kid-versions of the Wire cast.  Rawls is still an adult and plays the "nanny" to the western districts "muppet babies".  The western district kids are always getting in wacky confrontations with kid versions of the drug dealer characters.  The actual kids from the Wire are babies in this one.

[orangewhip]

Prezbo

A "Welcome Back, Kotter" type sitcom.

[Shaggy 2 Grote]

Good god, Wes, you are a genius.  I want to tell the world about this thread.

[Dorvid Barnas]

The Absent Parent Drunken Furniture Assembly Battle of the Sexes.