BPH - What do you think the boss should have said?
I will refrain from being sarcastic with you until I see your answer. But it's comin'.
He should of said, "If you are feeling stressed and are having a problem with a client, come to me as soon as you see an issue and we will work out a solution together before you have to meet with the client again. That is what I am here for. Don't bottle it up and take you anger home. If the issue arises while you are with the client, take a breath and remember that you can come talk to me later and we can work it out. Again, that is what I am here for."
In my opinion, buff, "screaming in to a pillow" helps the symptom (being frustrated) and does not cure the problem (client/worker relation). Screaming into a pillow at night does not cure the real problem of the client and the employee not seeing eye to eye. That problem will still be there tomorrow no matter how much pillow you chew on the night before. That is where management is supposed to come in: finding solutions to those client/employee issues whether it is the client who is failing and/or the employee.
And our manager is well known for his "ostrich-like" approach to management: head in the sand at the sign of any crisis. Telling your employees to take their anger home is Lazy Leadership 101, right up there with telling your employees that there are people, "...lining up for your jobs right now so you better shape up." (Which our boss ALSO did last year. Worst. Motivation. Tool. Ever. Four quality people left and their replacements are poor imitations.) There are better, more efficient moral building ways to motivate employees than telling them to go home with their frustrations.
OOH! OOH! Can I start the sarcasm!? OK...let me try...
<sarcasm>Uh, crack a book on quality leadership much there buff!? 'Cause I don't think you do.</sarcasm>
C'mon buff, you know I can take it! Give in to the Dark side! But that was very kind of you for your refrain. You are top shelf/notch IMO.
Aww, BPH, now I feel bad. I was all ready to get into a big argument, but your POV is spot-on. I'm glad I refrained from sarcasm.
I should have known a top-notcher like yourself would never take the positions I was concerned about. Unfortunately, "the customers are jerks, they deserve what they get" and "the customers just misinterpreted me, it's not my fault" and "this is the way I am - deal with it" are common refrains in some workplaces I know. Not mine, fortunately, although I'm not seeing a whole lot of sympathy for the management devil, either.
Your solution is to the point and well-stated. The manager absolutely should have stepped in to offer his support, counsel, even to take the brunt of customer rage when necessary. That's presumably why he's in that position. Screaming into the pillow, as I reread it, is a truly asinine suggestion, especially given his reputation.
I apologize for doubting you even for a moment!
If you're ever looking to move (south) east, and you decide you want to do something that has nothing to do with what you do now, drop me a note!
