someone forwarded me a racist joke

[Dorvid Barnas]

14. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

Oh yeah, there's no drug use in the South at ALL.  This one is air-tight.

[John Junk 2.0]

Im assuming that that Amish joke was originally about "yanks" or "people from Philadelphia" or something instead of Muslims? 

But all that changed after 9-11.

As we all know, the Amish were among the most effected by those terrorist attacks.

[Dorvid Barnas]

21. Grow up to be incredibly ashamed that you have neighbors and relatives that are this dumb, force yourself to unlearn Southern dialect, move to large cosmopolitan city to start a new life 800 miles away from "home" without once looking back, realize there are probably even more dumb people in your new large city, with equally silly accents.

Fixed!

[joanna]

As we all know, the Amish were among the most effected by those terrorist attacks.

especially the german-speaking amish.

[bobby.]

Philly Boy Roy, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond.

Roy shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht.  Die Kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." (Which is German and means: "Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it.")

The kneeling man shouts back: "I'm from New Jersey, I don't understand you.  I speak English.  If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of English, don't speak at all."

So Roy yells: "Use two hands, you'll get more."

[bobby.]

Who on earth would drink water with only one hand?

[Denim Gremlin]

Philly Boy Roy, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond.

Roy shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht.  Die Kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." (Which is German and means: "Don't drink that wudder, drink one a nem Yuenglings instead.")

The kneeling man shouts back: "I'm from New Jersey, I don't understand you.  I speak English.  If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of English, don't speak at all."

So Roy yells: "Use two hands, you'll get more."

[bobby.]

Philly Boy Roy, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond.

Roy shouts: "Don't drink that wudder, drink one a nem Yuenglings instead."

The kneeling man shouts back: "I'm from New Jersey, I don't understand you.  I speak English.  If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of English, don't speak at all."

So Roy yells: "Use two hands, you'll get more."

[Stan]

14. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

Oh yeah, there's no drug use in the South at ALL.  This one is air-tight.

 No Dorvid, this is their way of saying, bring crystal meth or at least a lot of pseuoephedrine so we can cook our own.

 For it has been said: Give a man some meth and you fuck him up for a day. Teach a man to cook meth and you have a cottage industry.

[Stupornaut]

14. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

Oh yeah, there's no drug use in the South at ALL.  This one is air-tight.

You bring 'Meth' into my house, it better be crystal and not some rap guy from the deodorant commercials.

[AaronC]

For it has been said: Give a man some meth and you fuck him up for a day. Teach a man to cook meth and you have a cottage industry he'll eventually blow himself up in a meth lab explosion.

[Phantom Hugger]

this may be unfair and ageist, but it seems to me like the only email forwards i get are from family members and coworkers over forty.  they usually involve some either heartbreaking story or poem by a kid with a terminal disease, a chain letter, some stupid email experiment or racist, lewd or just plain lame jokes.  i've considered creating a filter to trash any email starting with "fwd:", but i'm paranoid and foolishly think something important might actually be forwarded to me.

youre right, it is with people 40 and over.  oddly, i have the same paranoia because i actually do get legitimate forwards from friends, like, fwd: "here's my itinerary info" or whatever. 


p.s. the aforementioned statement obviously excludes anybody on this board 40+

I think the Forwarded unfunny/racist joke e-mail  is the evolution of the unfunny/racist joke xerox from an earlier generation office mutants.

I remember seeing these things passed around my parents work places when i was a kid. They were kind of an unsavory reflection of the posting of bland Ziggy comics on the company fridge.

Does anyone else remember these things or was this some sort of local Midwestern phenomenon?

[buffcoat]

So I ask our below-the-Mason-Dixon FOT brethren: Are these really the Rules of the South as 'Bones' contends?

No.






That was easy!

[Pat K]

8. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

I hate hate HATE it when I drive my $70,000 Lexus around in the backwoods of the South looking for fresh sushi and the finest imported caviar, and I stop to ask some overall-wearing rednecks where I might procure these fine delicacies, and they just laugh and refer me to Rule of the South #8. They get me every time!!!!!!!

[jed]

As we all know, the Amish were among the most effected by those terrorist attacks.

And that they rallied behind the war-effort (typically).