gross.

[joanna]

i can't think of my own so i have to use my best friend. she called me four years ago and said, "i just ate a cinnamon candy that i found in my desk and i don't know how old it is, is that gross?"

"no," i said.

"what if i know for a fact that i didn't put it there, so it's been there from the previous person who had the desk?"

"that makes it a little gross."

"what if i tell you that it was partially unwrapped?"

"oh god, melissa, that is gross."

"what if i tell you that after i put it in mouth, i started to suspect that someone else had already started eating it, and that's why it was partially unwrapped, but instead of spitting it out, i just shrugged and kept on eating it?"

[gravy boat]

I mixed my wife's pumped breast milk into my coffee. Kept drinking it after I realized the mistake.

[Sploops]

I PICK MY SCABS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I EAT MY SCABS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[John Junk 2.0]

I used to leave half-empty (i mean half-full!) glasses of water all over my apt.  One time I picked up a glass that I thought was *current* and cold.  I took a drink and was like "Woah!  This is room temperature and there's like a leaf in it from a house plant or something.  Woops I guess it's old.  I will now pull this leaf out of my mouth."  Pull the "leaf" out and guess what ---it's a cockroach.

[ericluxury]

I picked up a Coke can that I had left in the sun for a half-hour while helping garden at my parents house and took a big drink. It was lumpy for some reason. I looked inside and a swarm of ants were inside of the can. I spit out about 150 ants after swallowing who knows how many.

[henry]

i worked on a dairy farm.  there were a lot of experiences on the farm that can be classified as gross. 

- we milked twice a day (morning/night).  twelve cows (milked 100 a day) would enter the milk house at a time.  six on either side of you, with there udders at about chest level.  if something spooked any of the cows, they would shit.  if one shat, all of them would shit.  if you were at the far end of the milk house and couldn't get to door before the shit switch was fully flipped you were gonna be covered from head to toe.

- still born calves or calves that we couldn't find after they were born had to be put on the four-wheeler and driven to the top of the mountain and disposed of.  a real bummer job.

- new born calves that hadn't started walking needed to be carried to the calve barn.  slimy job, but rewarding if you gotta help the little guys take there first steps.

- once dropped my hat in the cow barn before i started to clean it for the day.  it was completely soaked in the previous nights supper.  i took it to the hose and put it back on. 


i worked on a hog farm for a while when i was younger.  that is a whole other list of gross.




 

[Laurie]

Eric, I just said EWWWWWWWWWUUUUUUCH!!!

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWUCH!

[todd]

These stories are so much grosser than I was expecting. I've got the willies.

[emma]

You would think I would be smart enough to avoid this thread while eating.
Actually, maybe you wouldn't. Because clearly I'm not that smart.

[Sarah]

I want to hear more about the dairy farm and the pig farm.

And I sort of like your friend Melissa, joanna.

[joanna]

And I sort of like your friend Melissa, joanna.

you should! she's the greatest, for this and many more reasons. the cinnamon candy incident, as we refer to it now, only endeared her even more to me.

[Gilly]

You would think I would be smart enough to avoid this thread while eating.

[Martin]

Once at a dimly-lit cocktail party, I fell victim of the "glass full of cigarette butts, ash, and some punch" thing. After a mortifying sip, I put it away and pretended like nothing happened. I'm nothing if not a class act.

[dania]

this is gross:

                                               -Anne Geddes

[Dorvid Barnas]

Once at a dimly-lit cocktail party, I fell victim of the "glass full of cigarette butts, ash, and some punch" thing. After a mortifying sip, I put it away and pretended like nothing happened. I'm nothing if not a class act.

That you are, sir!