Basic things it took me forever to learn

[erika]

I have yet to master the art of knowing when a girl likes me.

More than a couple times in my life I've had a small crush on a girl, but didn't think it was reciprocal until a year or so later, when either they were moving away or they (or I) ended up dating someone else and then comes the reveal: "I liked you a lot" ... when there's nothing to be done about it.

Being oblivious to clues is lame.

Boy this is a good one.  To me it's one of those skills that you just have and while people are always giving out tips about "signs" and it seems like something that really shouldn't be that difficult to figure out, it's something that I doubt I personally will ever learn.  I think for me it probably goes hand in hand with fear of rejection or turning a good friendship into something awkward.  I'm lucky that my current girlfriend, after a year of being close friends, basically flat out told me she was interested in being more than friends because who knows if I would've been able to pull the trigger.

Yeah... after a full six weeks of emailing back and forth daily, inviting the boy to lunch/happy hour, and saying over and over again that "we just HAVE to hang out more often" he didn't get it until I actually sent him my phone number. THEN he understood that I definitely liked him and we were boyfriend and girlfriend within 2 days of that. We talked about it and he said he wasn't sure til he actually had the phone number. I told him he almost didn't get it because I was feeling like I was borderline desperate. Luckily I don't have that much pride and I sent it to him despite the fact that my friends told me "if he's interested you would know by now"

[buffcoat]

Realizing that you are doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons - and then stopping it, even if it means a temporary retrenchment, and even if it's something you've been expected to do for a long time - does NOT make you a "quitter."  People will think it's much less of a big deal than you think they will - they are much more focused on themselves than on you. 

Better to be a failure in a situation you like than a success in a situation you hate - but, odds are, you'll be far more successful at something you like, anyway.  (23 and again at 27)


Find a woman (or man) who is as smart as you are, and smarter about some things.  The closest people in your life should make you better, and you should make them better.  The same goes for people you work with (if you have any choice at all in the matter).

[Gagneaux]

Find a woman (or man) who is as smart as you are, and smarter about some things.  The closest people in your life should make you better, and you should make them better. 

so what do you do if you're a dummy?

[Sarah]

Then you just have more choices.  Be grateful.

[Gagneaux]

Good point Sarah

[Beth]

*How to blow a bubble with gum

* Quick keys in general

* I can't just eat what I want and not exercise

[Sarah]

* I can't just eat what I want and not exercise

Sure you can, as long as you're willing to put up with the consequences (at least, as long as the pleasures of unrestrained consumption are greater than your distress over the drawbacks).

In any case, aren't you just a young lass, Beth?  Surely you're allowed to live in the present a little while longer.  Please, for my sake, don't start fretting unduly about this stuff until you're twenty-one at the earliest.

[Laurie]

*How to blow a bubble with gum

Oh, me too! I couldn't do this when I was a little girl, so I would stretch the gum OVER my mouth and then blow, and it would kind of work. Once I learned how, I would throw two or three pieces of Bubblicious or Bubble Yum into my mouth, and it took me three haircuts to learn to pull back on the bubble blowing.

I also had trouble learning how to blow soap bubbles.

Also, I can't whistle.

Also also, this is for the wiseacre who makes a crack about me blowing things.

[Beth]

* I can't just eat what I want and not exercise

Sure you can, as long as you're willing to put up with the consequences (at least, as long as the pleasures of unrestrained consumption are greater than your distress over the drawbacks).

In any case, aren't you just a young lass, Beth?  Surely you're allowed to live in the present a little while longer.  Please, for my sake, don't start fretting unduly about this stuff until you're twenty-one at the earliest.

I'm 24 (25 in September) but I definitely still qualify as a "young lass."

This revelation occurred just this year, when I realized that (gasp) my metabolism was slowing down. Also, I was a ballerina in my teens and danced quite regularly until recently...so I'm not used to regimented exercise.
But  it's okay. I've been biking the hilly countryside now that the weather is nice, and with a few more days like this, simply practicing cello in 90 degree heat seems to be enough to make me sweat off some pounds.

It's more a question feeling fit (and not having to buy new jeans) I think I look fine, and am quite comfortable with my body. I'm not fretting, I promise!!!

[Sarah]

I take it back:  you're an old, old lady.

[yesno]

This revelation occurred just this year, when I realized that (gasp) my metabolism was slowing down.

I started putting weight in mid-twenties too.  A couple of years ago I quit drinking. Exercise never did squat.  Elimination of beer = 20 lbs loss. 

Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain:  fact.

[masterofsparks]

This revelation occurred just this year, when I realized that (gasp) my metabolism was slowing down.

I started putting weight in mid-twenties too.  A couple of years ago I quit drinking. Exercise never did squat.  Elimination of beer = 20 lbs loss. 

Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain:  fact.

Yeah, getting married packed the pounds onto me. Of course, I was really skinny when I got married (6'2" 165 lbs), so this wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

[joanna]

Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain:  fact.

yup. also, having a kid causes weight gain in both mother and father: fact.

[joanna]

Monogamous relationships also cause weight gain:  fact.

yup. also, having a kid causes weight gain in both mother and father: fact.

i'm so proud this is the post that led to my becoming a "rapist."

[dave from knoxville]

that authority figures like parents and teachers are just as flawed and imperfect as anyone else and have a disproportionate ability to fuck things up.  (early to mid twenties)

to learn what good music is... it took me until well into my freshman year in college to go deeper than the staple beatles, kinks, dylan and neil young and the usual modern dreck.

that girls aren't all that interested in the quiet guy. (mid twenties)

Why "disproportionate"? Be gentle.