Answering Machine: "Hi. You've reached Tom Scharpling. I cannot answer the telephone so please leave me a message. Thank you. Get off my phone." beeep
Clive Strammervent: "Hey heyyy Tommy! How are ya? Just wanteduh... call up and let you know I'm on your side! Ha. I, uhhh.. been hearing you're looking for a uhhhhhh new call screener? Well, I think I'm your man, Tommy, I really do.
"It's like, I just understand these things. These showbiz things! Y'know? It's like.... I KNOW how it can be. I uhhh, I heard you say that you need somebody to be like,...The Robin to Your Batman or something like that? Batman being you of course.... Well, I think we both know what kind of person you need to screen calls. You need somebody who gets kids. Someone who gets kid stuff. Y'know?? Heh! You better believe I got it up both my sleeves! Ha! I've been up on the kids' slang for, lessee... oh I don't know, the entirety of my twenties? Maybe even halfway through my thirties I think I was probably serving up vast streams of kid slang, whipperspeak, whatever the heck the kids are calling it these days. Wsshhh! Haha, I dunno..
"You see, Tommy, I go to Whole Foods a lot, which means I understand these kids. I buy that Tofutti, Tofunky er whatever that crap is called, so I see how things are now with these kids. Y'know every time I pass a corner I hear 'em over there jibbin' the jive, know what I'm saying? I just wanna reach out and give 'em all a high five and some spins. Haha! Usually I don't though, but I sometimes manage to dish out the shockwave! because I'm very cool, you see? Are you familiar with the shockwave!? It's a new word I just came up with for .. stuff that's.... shocking! Heh, I dunno.
[long pause]
what day is it again??"--clik!
