Author Topic: Humorless Politics Thread  (Read 973164 times)

nec13

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1920 on: April 18, 2012, 08:21:49 AM »
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”If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

Yet another reason to vote for Obama. Come on, people, do your part!

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Nobody ever lends money to a man with a sense of humor.

fonpr

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1921 on: April 18, 2012, 09:42:40 AM »
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”If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

Yet another reason to vote for Obama. Come on, people, do your part!

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Kormod

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1922 on: April 19, 2012, 12:41:04 PM »
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In a campaign stop Tuesday outside Pittsburgh, Mitt Romney made what many locals considered a tasteless remark about cookies from a local landmark bakery.

    With a plate of cookies in front of him, Mitt Romney speaks at a Tax Day roundtable event at the Bethel Park Community Center on April 17, 2012 in Bethel Park, Pa. (Photo by Jeff Swensen/Getty Images)

Mr. Romney, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, met with four couples at the Bethel Park Community Center to talk about the deficit, health care and education. The meeting got off to a rocky start, however, when the governor sat down at a picnic table set with food and made an apparent attempt at humor.

“I’m not sure about these cookies,” Mr. Romney said. “They don’t look like you made them,” he said turning to one of the women at the table. “Did you make those cookies? You didn’t, did you? No. No. They came from the local 7-Eleven bakery or wherever.”  (The video from the local CBS station is here.)

The cookies, in fact, were donated from the popular Bethel Bakery around the corner from the community center, and once Mr. Romney’s comment was broadcast on local airwaves offended residents took to Facebook and Twitter to complain. The episode was inevitably called “CookieGate.” The bakery is offering a CookieGate special Wednesday and Thursday: free half dozen cookies with every dozen purchased.

“Initially, we were incensed that he would think that Bethel Bakery is comparable to the 7-Eleven,” said bakery owner John Walsh, a Republican. Mr. Walsh, whose parents opened the bakery in 1955, said he thinks the comment was made in jest and would like Gov. Romney to try the bakery’s offerings in the future.

But some bitterness remained. “Let him eat cake next time,” Mr. Walsh said.

Margaret Chabris, a 7-Eleven spokeswoman, said people at the company got “a chuckle” out of the incident and didn’t take Mr. Romney’s remarks as being critical of the chain. “Actually Mitt Romney got it right,” she said. “There are bakeries dedicated to making cookies every day for our 5,500 stores.”

Haha. What a dick.

Smelodies

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1923 on: April 19, 2012, 12:57:14 PM »
Forgive me, but that article started out promising and let me down bigtime.

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1924 on: April 19, 2012, 01:11:55 PM »
Natural politician, that guy.

It doesn't matter if they serve you stale Lorna Doone shortbread cookies smeared with e. coli--you flash a big smile and gush about the delicious home-baked cookies, you dolt.
"Another thing that interests me about The Eagles is that I hate them." -- Robert Christgau

Kormod

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1925 on: April 20, 2012, 10:55:29 PM »
A dystopian comic book, starring a one-eyed, half-cyborg Sean Hannity:






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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1926 on: April 28, 2012, 10:49:02 AM »


Mitt Romney electrifies the Otterbein University student body with a barn-burner about how they should stop whining about the rates on their student loans and go borrow 20 G's from their parents to start a business, like his good friend Jimmy John, of Jimmy John's fame, did.
"Another thing that interests me about The Eagles is that I hate them." -- Robert Christgau

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1927 on: April 28, 2012, 10:50:15 AM »
"Oh, and one more thing--I'm bringing back the draft. That oughta wake you little punks up. Iran in '13, bitches!"
"Another thing that interests me about The Eagles is that I hate them." -- Robert Christgau

Kormod

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1928 on: April 28, 2012, 11:49:52 AM »
I remember him saying a couple months ago that anyone could find an affordable college if they just "shopped around" (he said that this was proof that the free market worked), and if you somehow couldn't afford college, you could just get a scholarship by serving in the military. So many amazing options.

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1929 on: April 29, 2012, 11:29:23 AM »
More on Mitt's Otterbein stem-winder:

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The central theme Romney drove home was the fact that “sometimes appearances do not conform with the facts or reality,” and he applied it to such topics as the office supply industry, the intricacies of tax filing law and Dodd-Frank financial legislation.

“I have several examples of disparity between appearance and reality,” Romney said, launching into a lengthy monologue about his time as a private equity investor, when he discovered — to his critics’ chagrin! — that potential annual savings on office supplies were significant enough to justify an investment in bigger stores that could make their profits on higher sales volume rather than bigger mark-ups.

“What we found was they were spending a lot more than that I thought on copy paper and toner and supplies and software and so forth,” he said.

I hope the Otterbein University suicide hotline is staffing up, because once those heedless nappers start waking up and finding out what they missed, call volume is going to spike through the roof.
"Another thing that interests me about The Eagles is that I hate them." -- Robert Christgau

Kormod

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1930 on: April 29, 2012, 12:30:57 PM »
He probably realizes that when he's speaking in front of college students, going after Obama like a vicious attack dog won't go over too well, so his only option is to resort to sleep-inducing tales about office supplies. Sucks for the college students. I'm sure most of them would rather just listen to his paranoid wingnut routine, given how painfully boring the alternative is.

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1931 on: April 29, 2012, 03:11:50 PM »
You think? I dunno, if it were me, as soon as a speaker announced as his thesis that “sometimes appearances do not conform with the facts or reality," my ears would be all pricked up, like "OK, Bub, you've got my attention now--let's see you pull this one off!"
"Another thing that interests me about The Eagles is that I hate them." -- Robert Christgau

buffcoat

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1932 on: April 29, 2012, 10:11:02 PM »
I would like to announce that I am voting against the NC anti-everything but one man-one woman marriage amendment.  I imagine that other Tar Heel and transplanted Tar Heel FOTs will be doing the same.

I suspect it's going to pass, but by a lot less than it would have even a year ago.  And that it will be overturned in the next, oh, 15 years. 

If it fails, that will be the proudest I've ever been of my fellow citizens, and I love North Carolina.
I really don't appreciate your sarcastic, anti-comedy tone, Bro!

Kevin from Pittsburgh

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1933 on: April 30, 2012, 09:42:04 AM »
Hear, hear.  My carpetbagger vote counts as much as the others.  I've heard more people have a negative view of the amendment than I thought.  There is always hope!

And we can always look forward to this:
Styx, REO Speedwagon, and Ted Nugent Concert in Charlotte on May 17 at 7 p.m. (Up to 49% Off). Two Options Available.
Does anybody have the new issue of Wizard?  Mike is getting his issue of Wizard from his bag.

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Re: Humorless Politics Thread
« Reply #1934 on: April 30, 2012, 11:26:52 AM »
Salute!
"Another thing that interests me about The Eagles is that I hate them." -- Robert Christgau