Gee, Regular Joe, it's weird how that clip pretty much epitomizes the forward-looking approach I've been suggesting... the one which everyone seems to be too chicken to actually go out and do, excepting Frank Zappa.
But now.... I want a show of hands.
How many people grew up speaking a language other than English at home? Doesn't matter which one, Polish, Chinese, Pashtun, Lithuanian, Yoruba, Norwegian, Tagalog, Arabic.... whatever.
Of those of you who are left, how many of your parents gave you a name from that language, that is to say, a non-standard-modern-Anglo name? A name that your average Peggy Smith from Dubuque would have kind of a hard time with? A name with no equivalent pronunciation in American Standard English?
Of those of you who are left, how many of you are proud of that name and the hundreds, if not thousands of years of history behind it? How many of you realize that your parents took great care in giving you this name, and placed great importance on it?
How many of you, then, upon contact with greater North America, were forced to adopt some wretchedly common nickname in order to "pass" and "get along" with your peers, to avoid being ostracized and mocked for having such a "weird" and "complicated" and "foreign" and therefore by default "gay" and "retarded" name? In short, to assimilate into the US?
How many of you went to great lengths to practice an appropriate regional pronunciation of your less-easily-concealed surname, perhaps giving it a nasal twang and twisting vowels in ways that would've made your grandparents shudder with revulsion if you did it in front of them?
In short, how many of you went to great, great lengths attempting to fit into American society, forgetting and burying your birthright, your real, true name, your parents' language, your mother-tongue, and go completely head-over-heels modern-Anglo-American?
How many of you, at this point, still feel a bitter twinge of resentment in your gut for the Jessicas and Bettys and Amys and Jims and Jakes and Jerrys, those carefree Americans with their plain and simple names, names that never aroused suspicion or confusion or flat-out hatred?
I asked for a show of hands.
Now. How many of you, after doing all this, after all this trouble, get sick to your stomach when confronted with people who treat names like interchangeable, disposable trash, or as a chance to parade a kind of cheap, pseudo-authentic, seperatist identity?
How many of you watched your parents constantly, constantly struggle to speak good English, and watched them slowly learn and improve, and feel enormous pride for them, and then live day to day with people who take that fine instrument and treat it like a worn and greasy shop tool, to be kicked and tossed around carelessly?
How many people have immediate family that came here, breaking their backs to be prosperous, well-spoken Americans with plain ol' American names, only to see people who have been here for generations treat all that effort to be American with total contempt?
As if the efforts of all recent immigrants to establish a life here were somehow completely invalidated by the things their ancestors suffered?
It's bullshit like that which makes me think about repatriating to where my parents came from. I still speak the language very well. I could get along there. Then I remember... I was born here. I feel an obligation to this country, despite its flaws. My whole life is here. Those are the cards I have been dealt.
How many of you know exactly of what I speak?
I would simply like a show of hands.
P.S. - To the idjits trying to slander me as a Klans-Wizard on crack... What I have described above is why I voted for Barack Obama THREE TIMES... he knows something about the sacrifices immigrants and their children make to put this country first, to be Americans, and to succeed as Americans. He knows, I think, what kind of crap you go through when you have a funny name in this country.
