I heard it today.
I'm no enemy of schmaltz, saccharine or the bloated; I endorse rock folly where I can find it and find nothing more heartwarming than a triumph of perfectionism regardless of the pressures of time, critics and fanbase. After all, Immanuel Kant took eleven years off before producing A Critique Of Pure Reason. The establishment was confounded, and a new era in thought and evaluation was born.
Over the years, I have built up a tolerance to all kinds of music. I can enjoy the brapping and splapping of Albert Ayler over breakfast. When in a supermarket, I will find myself nodding along to the banal radio mush piped in. Once in a while, I will admit that the music of Neil Finn is vastly superior to that of Thurston Moore (well, his solo career, anyway). Bad music doesn't exist. The maxim of John Peel stuck with me - there must be a reason they made this and believed in this. If I don't like it, it is a fault with me. That's a paraphrase, by the way.
My relationship with Guns'n'Roses is limited. I remember at high school, someone brought in a boombox and played 'Get In The Ring' really loud and I remember liking the monologue verse which ends 'I'LL KICK YOUR BITCHY LITTLE ASS'. Other than that, I know their singles and videos. I even liked Slash's ostentatious piano-top solo in 'November Rain'. They were a fun little band for a while.
I also don't think that replacing and sacking band members leads to creative ruin. I love Bob Stinson but Slim did the job too. The Fall remain consistently creative, as did Volcano Suns and The Red Krayola, with rotating line-ups. To me, it always felt like the vision of W. Axl Rose and whoever played back-up was secondary. All things considered, I was in a good place to stream their album from Myspace and give it a fair listen.
It is the worst album in the history of the human ear. There is not one good melody, rhythm, vocal or idea expressed on it. At times I felt honoured to be hearing such an exquisite formation of tastelessness; industrial squall here, knowingly old-school 'riff' there, several lengthy solos, weedy auto-tune vocals...this album has the works.
To say it suffers from a weight of expectation for me is wrong - I never really listened to the band in my youth, so I expected nothing, hoping to be pleasantly surprised. I can now truly say there is bad music and Guns'n'Roses have created it.
