Ok Bill Murray, this shit needs to end now.

[Sarah]

Guy, gal.  One of those.

[Christina]

Guy, gal.  One of those.

Pool or pond, anything would be good.

[Joe Rogaine]

I'm remembered a story where a guy passes Murray on (or perhaps crossing) the street and gets all excited, and Murray just looks at him and says, "I know!"

Yeah that was the story. Jesus my recollection of that story was bad.

[Sarah]

So was mine, since the guy was in fact Liz Noise, who is not a guy.

[cutout]

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/22/bill-murray-continues-to-be-bill-murray-as-bill-murray-week-continues/

"For a follow-up, he began his appearance Wednesday on “Late Show With David Letterman” with some literal Dumpster diving — as in, he went for a swim in a waste bin filled with water and what appeared to be some actual garbage."

[Chris L]

Boycott Bill Murray for a Better America (warning: deranged)

Mr. Murray likes to play the gentle, befuddled older man, one who could ask a child to help him find a puppy in a quiet corner of a public park. Yet once you agree, it’s too late. You’ve been drawn into his celebrity orbit, like some delicious secret Bill has deigned to share with the modest creature that is you. Yes, this is the Bill Murray experience, showering the simple with his celebrity charm in the dark alleyways of America. But what is the endpoint here? The pattern is familiar to criminologists and it’s not hard to draw similarities to the lives of Jeffrey Dahlmer or John Wayne Gacy. Murray has not yet been charged with anything more than narcotic arrests and drunk driving, but at the very least parents should be deeply concerned. Is it not better to be safe than sorry when dealing with a man who may be the next national scandal for his bloodthirst and perversion? Would you not do everything in your power to protect your children from death and failure?

[fonpr]

 We need adults who act like adults: grandfathers who impart patriotism on their offspring, dedicated employees who keep the engines of our economy greased irregardless of their aging, noble gentlemen who are humble before their great God. We do not need perverts like Bill Murray lusting after our beautiful children with a reckless almost urgent need to tear them from innocence so he can insanely explore his lost, burning childhood on their soft bodies on old couches in dirty apartments in the ghettos of America. What have we lost? What will we ever gain? What does it mean when we say that Jesus died for our sins? What has happened to the country I once loved!

[Bryan]

Oh my word!

He has also been spotted by gossip reporters and police investigators showing up uninvited at “hipster” parties in places like Williamsburg, Brooklyn, once a Jewish enclave now a secret community of bearded 20-somethings wasting their parent’s hard-earned money on cocaine and clothes.

A "secret community"?!

And then down at the bottom, a link to "Stephen Baldwin: Portrait of a Christian- American Hero."

Wait a second... this is a joke site, isn't it?

[cavorting with nudists]

Now, with posts like "With Unemployment Benefits Extended, Rates of Domestic Masturbation And Sodomy Are Poised to Skyrocket," why would you say that?

[fonpr]

Now, with posts like "With Unemployment Benefits Extended, Rates of Domestic Masturbation And Sodomy Are Poised to Skyrocket," why would you say that?

Idle hands do the Devil's work.

[cutout]

(Christwire is satire, FWIW)

[Chris L]

(Christwire is satire, FWIW)

For my sake I hope that would have been obvious had I actually paid attention to the other articles on the site (then again it should have been obvious by the time he brought up Williamsburg).

Are they making money off this site?  Maybe it should be called Christthesekidshavetimeontheirhandsforce.

[cutout]

They probably make some middlin' ad revenue but it's never been funny enough or fooled enough people to generate a ton of traffic. People have been linking to there for a couple years via Reddit, Urlesque, etc, but they don't seem to have the writing chops to be the next Onion or whatever.

[Bryan]

The comments section is where the lines really start to blur.

[Ojingeo]

Slightly off topic. Well not really. But I have heard Bill Murray is a follower of Gurdjieff. A Russian mystic who a number of famous people have followed. SOmeone in my family is quite deep into it, and says that if you go to the Gurdjieff meetings in San Francisco, you can hang out with him. Not sure if this is true. But quite interesting. In my experience the people that are into Gurdjieff are really intelligent and good people. There's a little too much indoctrination and overtly mystical stuff in if for my taste.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Gurdjieff