The Limits of Professionalism.

[John Junk 2.0]

Remember when Tom screamed at He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless on a Christmas Eve show in 200(2-?)?  I created just such a scary sound today at work, when I found out that some grad students had celebrated the end of the semester by tearing the ceiling down in their studio building.  This after having done 9 grand in renovations just one year ago on that very building and having countless "discussions" with the "group" about the "appropriate behavior" in the studios, and trying to protect them for basically my entire time at the school from getting busted by the fire marshall or the administration for countless petty-to-major firecode violations.  Again, these are GRADUATE STUDENTS.   Anyone else find themselves just screaming "WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!" to people at their place of work (not necessarily people you work for or with, but people at work).

[Sarah]

JJ, I wish you w(c)ould quit.

[John Junk 2.0]

JJ, I wish you w(c)ould quit.

the (c) is the operative thing.

Yeah, i guess nobody on earth has a similar situation.

[KickTheBobo]

Yeesh. I'll bet dollars to donuts that their Crash Worship-style deconstructivist drum circle/happening was "documented" by multiple sources (video, camera, cell phone), so I say: find the real culprits and do some public shaming.

Was this at your school where the chick dropped a deuce in the parking lot? - gross.

[John Junk 2.0]

That is hilarious. 

Thankfully, no, that was not my school. 

However, I did receive a report that during a party two young ladies responded to the appearance of the police trying to shut down their party by saying "We pay $30,000 to go here, we can do whatever we want!" and then dropping trou and urinating in front of them.  Proud moments.

There's that scene in Gung Ho where Michael Keaton talks to the union about the Japanese takeover and how people talk bad about Americans like they can't do anything right and they're fuck-ups and inefficient, and he always defends them and all the union guys are like "Yay!" and then Keaton pulls a switcheroo and is like, "But I'm starting to think maybe they're right!"  I feel like having a talk like that, except instead of union guys it's artists, and instead of inefficient it's "out of your fucking minds" and instead of the Japanese it's... like... the union guys.

[Andy]

I got so fed up at work today that I took my cell phone and unplugged my office phone and put them both into the bottom drawer of my secretary's desk.  Shut my door and closed outlook.  30 minutes later when I was done with what I had to do I had 5 messages, 7 voicemails and 36 emails I had to respond to.

Fucking subcontractors bidding a  job.  They wait until the 11th hour and then think that their questions/clarifications are the most important thing in the world.

also, totally not a regular thing.

[Gibby]

When I'm not at University, I have a job in ambulance control. One night, an ambulance broke down with a patient on board who was a thrombosis sufferer and needed to get to where he was going pretty sharply. I'd had no training on this, so I started blindly calling my superiors - my boss, her boss, his boss - no answers from any of them. I rolled the dice and decided to call the head of the company. Instead of giving me a step-by-step breakdown of how to help these drivers, and by extension, a very sick man, he started chewing me out asking why I sent an ambulance to wherever-it-was. Here is the critical part of the conversation.

HIM: Why did you send an ambulance to Shrewsbury?
ME: That's where the man needed to go.
HIM: Yes but why did you send an ambulance to Shrewsbury?
ME: I think we should talk about that later, though I've never been told that I can't and have done in the past. Right now we have a sick man and two stranded drivers to deal with.
HIM: Yes, but why did you send....(etc)

(five mins later of this same cyclical conversation)

HIM: But it's just not protocol. Surely you have been told that ambulances d....
ME (snappishly): Look, if you aren't going to help, then f--- off.
HIM: Do you know who you're talking to?
ME: I know exactly who you are, but you're not helping me and missing the point. I'm going to call someone who can help.


The next day, he asked me to see him, and said he was going to have to discipline me. I said I didn't mind, as I had two days left there, he could do as he felt like. He decided against it, and oddly, I'm back there over the holidays.

[John Junk 2.0]

The next day, he asked me to see him, and said he was going to have to discipline me. I said I didn't mind, as I had two days left there, he could do as he felt like. He decided against it, and oddly, I'm back there over the holidays.

Was he sitting on an orange crate when he said he would have to discipline you? 

He probably realized you're actually someone who gives a shit about people, unlike him.  Now you're like their #1 star employee.

[Gibby]

His office was kind of like Ben Gazzara's house in Road House.

[Jack from Arkansas]

My most shameful loss of professionalism occured a year ago on a construction site.  I was stressed from working five tens and two eights for months I guess.  I accused a coworker of taking something.  He frogged my knee while I was on a ladder and I came down and hit him on the top of his hardhat with some channel-lock pliars.  I pushed him and he stood there stunned.  Another coworker stepped between us. 
     Later, someone came and told me the coworker was crying.  I went and found him and appoligized for overreacting.  He insisted he was emotional because his parent's dog had to be put down.  Oh God, what a terrible scene; two dummies in a cold half-sheetrocked building, one crying and the other asking earnest questions about growing up with the dog.

[John Junk 2.0]

I'm at least proud of myself that I haven't yet slashed anyone's paintings as per Tom's suggestion.

[Andy]

My most shameful loss of professionalism occured a year ago on a construction site.  I was stressed from working five tens and two eights for months I guess.  I accused a coworker of taking something.  He frogged my knee while I was on a ladder and I came down and hit him on the top of his hardhat with some channel-lock pliars.  I pushed him and he stood there stunned.  Another coworker stepped between us. 
     Later, someone came and told me the coworker was crying.  I went and found him and appoligized for overreacting.  He insisted he was emotional because his parent's dog had to be put down.  Oh God, what a terrible scene; two dummies in a cold half-sheetrocked building, one crying and the other asking earnest questions about growing up with the dog.

were you working construction?

[Spoony]

Without destructive post-grads, we wouldn't have Brooklyn as we know it today.

I worked with a guy who loved to discuss the various ways that Snitches Could Get Stitches. He kept news clippings in his wallet with all of the graphic, violent parts highlighted, and showed me his gun in a diner during lunch one afternoon.

I defy you to finish your omelet when there's a loaded weapon at the table.

He was my manager at a toy company.

[John Junk 2.0]

Without destructive post-grads, we wouldn't have Brooklyn as we know it today.

I worked with a guy who loved to discuss the various ways that Snitches Could Get Stitches. He kept news clippings in his wallet with all of the graphic, violent parts highlighted, and showed me his gun in a diner during lunch one afternoon.

I defy you to finish your omelet when there's a loaded weapon at the table.

He was my manager at a toy company.

Horrifying. 

wrt the brooklyn thing, this is very true.  I quite literally have been thinking that the grad students need to start a kickball league. 

follow-up on the ceiling thing: some MFA students wrote me a letter sort of apologizing but not actually accepting responsibility for anything.  It had the words "relational" and "inimitable" in it.

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Man, that's a tough story Jack.