Get ready to meet my little friend

[Chris L]

There I was,  Alex, and my three bros, Chip, Freddy and Dirk, sitting around a bar that would only serve us milk, talking some kinda weird talk about what we were going to do sometime later that night. The bar we were at served milk-plus-Pepsi, milk smoothies, or Soy Bull, which was a new kind of energy drink. This would get you totally pumped for what we call "x-treme roughhousing."

[Steve of Bloomington]

You maniacs!  You screwed up the Statue of Liberty!

[Big Plastic Head]

Turn to the left!

Perfect.

[Steve in North Hollywood]

From the new Friday The 13th ...

Creepy Local:  "Let me just come out and tell you that there's a monster around here, named Jason, that kills everyone who goes anywhere near his camp.  So, that's why we all think your sister's dead and that you're wasting your time by looking for her.  You're also running a high risk of getting killed by Jason if you stick around.  Now that I've told you that, you can thank me for not wasting your time, slamming the door in your face, and making you go around town asking 5 other people if they've seen your missing sister.  Good day, sir!"

Clay:  "Are you sure you haven't ... ?"

Creepy Local:  "I said good day, sir!"

[Steve in North Hollywood]

From Synecdoche, New York:

"Are we ever going to get an audience in here?  This movie feels 17 years long."

[Steve of Bloomington]

The dog shelter near our house has a sign outside reading 'prepare to meet your new best friend', which always makes me think of this thread.

[Steve in North Hollywood]

You should steal that sign and change it "Get Ready To Be Introduced To Your Non-Cat."

[Big Plastic Head]

From Star Wars;

Uncle Owen: "Luke, go clean up those new droids."
Luke (whining): "But I was going into town to get laid."

[Martin]

My sister recently quoted Star Wars:

"I am your father, Luke."

[Steeley Chris]

From a Jeopardy Teen Tournament commercial from a couple of months back:

"C'mon punk, ya feeling lucking?"

[Hoboken Brian]

My girlfriend, at a recent party:

"Allow me to introduce you to my little friend"

[buffcoat]

Put the lotion in the basket.  Please, ma'am.

[scratchbomb]

"Don't worry about it Jake--Chinatown is where you are."

[Steve in North Hollywood]

My girlfriend, at a recent party:

"Allow me to introduce you to my little friend"

What're you, showing off?

Ray Parker, Jr.: "When I arrest ghosts, I feel really nice."

I cracked up so hard when I read that.

... and since my roommate is watching The Big Lebowski yet again ...

"I'm sorry, Smokey, you were over the line.  That's a foul.  Here come's my handgun."

[JustSheaNo]

Ronald: "Christina, I'd like the large knife, please. Would you hand me the large knife?"

Christina: "Ronald, I'd rather not"