Moon Unit Zappa - Everyone is Going Mad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0s2JJ3_c1QLast week's call from the dood whose father has serious cancer and the attendant agony really tore me up. I lost someone close to me to that scourge over a decade ago, and I think that I am finally able to come to terms with it. I think, too, that Moon wrote this song about the loss of her father, and I played it over and over again to try to deal with the grief - well, that and this one by the Band o' Horses:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMFWFhTFohk.
Sad music and barrels upon barrels of
C2H5OH made for really bad coping skills for the next decade and more. I know, I know: who cares. But, someone might benefit from something in this ramble. Ya never know.
So, in case cancer touches you and yours, I'd suggest two things based on my very painful experience. First, contact a hospice early on. The person who is ill doesn't need to know, but cancer is may become a "hope-for-the-best-prepare-for-the-worst" type-deal and maybe rapidly. Hospices have tons of information about pain management, end of life care, etc., and, in my opinion, it is best to get ahead of things, rather than trying to figure out what to do when things get complicated, even more miserable, and crazy-making.
And that brings me to my second suggestion: family counseling. The hospital or the hospice will have a social worker who can help the family through each stage of treatment and care. My family and I ignored ours to our own peril. We had no experience watching someone die, and so a big part of us began dying along with our loved one. In short, there are professionals who have tons of experience working with families that are going through this terror, and asking for help is not a weakness - it is a strength. Our family fell to pieces during and afterward, and maybe that could have been avoided if we had professional help. We will never know.
Heh - I am only now taking care of it, as I am quite stubborn and do not ever follow the wonderful advice that I dish out to people who never asked for it.
Anyway, hope all of the FOTs get lucky enough to avoid this terrible disease. But if not, well, welcome to the club and know that there are healthy ways to get through it for you and your family. It will be hard enough without making it worse and worse and worse.
Note: That fan video of Moon's song is...fucking weird.
