John Mayer, WTF were you thinking?

[mackro]

So, I thought all the John Mayer flare ups online today were because of a random campaign to rib on the guy... so I played along innocently.

Then I saw the playboy mag interview excerpt.

Christ on a battered stick, is he trying to fight Boyd Rice for the Lunkheaded Shock Value crown, now?  I can't fucking believe it.

[cutout]

http://www.playboy.com/articles/john-mayer-playboy-interview/index.html?page=2

His parents must be proud.

[fletcher munson]

ew

[fonpr]

ew

Taylor Swift is in his Spank Bank, I hear.

I am so disappointed I know this.

Thanks, Best Show.

I spent years avoiding this kind of crap.

I feel dirty.

Where's Dr. Science?

[mackro]

And I compared this guy to Henny Youngman -- HENNY YOUNGMAN! -- earlier today before I read this interview.  In either case, Shame on me.  Shame Shame Shame.

[KickTheBobo]

too long of an interview to read, given that I don't give a shit about the guy.

some folks say that he can play decent guitar.

[DoodleJump!]

too long of an interview to read, given that I don't give a shit about the guy.

Amen.

That, and I just wasn't able to read the article because my school blocked the webpage.

BUT yeah.

[fonpr]

too long of an interview to read, given that I don't give a shit about the guy.

some folks say that he can play decent guitar.

I thought you liked the "Blues", Kick.

Screw Johnny Winter he weren't  pretty.

[erechoveraker]

too long of an interview to read, given that I don't give a shit about the guy.

This. Summarize or die.

[TacoSmith]

Here's a particularly unpleasant exchange:

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

[erechoveraker]

ha, what a dummy.

Thanks. Now I'm gonna go back to not really knowing who he is again, yeah?

[Trembling Eagle]

bad form kissing and telling, he'll never develop into world class coxsman like Tony Curtis or George Clooney doing that.

[Christina]

My opinion of John Mayer before Playboy interview:

Solipsistic tool.

My opinion after:

Solipsistic tool with diarrhea of the mouth.

[Dan in Chicago]

Good to know you can still be publicly racist in America. Maybe not racist as much as dangerously stupid, but if he wasn't John Mayer I'm guessing anyone african american within a mile radius would have tried to kill him.

[Matt]

First he offends the Pakistani community, and now this. Your cock ain't the only thing David Duke about ya, John!

Anyway, this story is about John Mayer’s attempt at stand-up at the Slipper Room last week, and the story comes directly from a comedian named Kumail Nanjiani, who not only witnessed Mayer’s act, but was the one to fall victim to Mayer’s racist douchery.

A quick word about Nanjiani: he’s an up-and-coming Pakistani comedian who has spent the last year performing on late night shows for David Letterman, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Saturday Night Live. He’s been named one of the “Ten Comedians To Watch” and he’s making deals all over the place. Basically, he’s a funny guy, and he does this for a living, with great joy.

Here’s what happened when Mayer showed up at the Slipper Room, told by Nanjiani and New York Magazine:

John Mayer showed up at the Slipper Room unannounced last Tuesday night and asked the evening’s emcee, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon’s Seth Herzog, if he could do five minutes of stand-up. According to Nanjiani, who was originally scheduled to take the stage when Mayer showed up, Mayer then proceeded to bomb for not five minutes, but for twenty, eating into Nanjiani’s performance time. Which would have been fine, except Mayer then decided to come back out onstage AGAIN in the middle of Nanjiani’s set.

This is when things got weird.

To hear Nanjiani tell the story, he was somewhat rattled after having had his set time cut by John Mayer, but things got awkward after Mayer referred to the Pakistan-born Kumail as “Kabul.” Whoops! Making matters even worse, Mayer apparently then began heckling Nanjiani onstage, telling him that “he looked like a brown guy but sounded like a white guy.” Double whoops! Now, Nanjiani was careful last night not to accuse Mayer of being a racist, nor does he seem to hold a real grudge against Mayer; rather, he was just relating a hilariously surreal story of a recent stand-up gig to a bunch of comedy nerds (like us!).

When Mayer was discussing the incident to The Comic’s Comic, he described what went down as: “I’m blind and I’m an idiot. I go in and I smash things with my big, dumb Hulk hands. I don’t know how to do it yet. I don’t know how to bomb. It was combative in the sense that the crowd didn’t really accept the fact that the jock, the guy who gets the girls, was at a place where the guys go who talk about how they don’t get the girls.” So… Mayer’s not a racist, he’s just a guy who gets laid, and all of us are jellus h8ters? Right.