It's the Quote Your Insane Neighbors thread!

[DoodleJump!]

I guess the oddest neighbor thing I've experienced happened when I was 10 years old. We lived in a tiny town deep in the old South, where everyone knew everyone, a visit to the library and post office happened on the same blck, etc. I unfortunately did not witness this, but one day as my parents and brother stood on our porch, a bloodied man limped/ran down our street, yelling and glancing behind him. Seconds after, a woman ran/limped down the street after him, yelling and waving a really big knife.
They called the po-lice, but never heard what went on. Domestic violence was pretty common in our area, though.

[iAmBaronVonTito]

this wins.  put some roller skates on it and it wins at life.

[andrew in philadelphia]

i've been feuding with a crew of local drug dealers who tried to set up shop in front of my family's home for the better part of a year now. i'll be the first to admit that i've been more than antagonistic in my dealings with them (hey, it's the philly way.) i've since toned it down in hopes of easing the tension on our street. the lead moron in charge has personally told me:

- "you'd better watch it or you'll end up on the side of a milk carton..." - i didn't have the heart to tell him they don't do that for missing adults. also, i hate milk.

- "yeah, well... all that glitters isn't gold..." he said this in response to me telling him he was "all talk" in terms of his badassness. i laughed so hard when he said it i was certain i was going to get punched for my response. the best i could muster was a laughter-riddled "you don't even know what that means!"

- "you should be thanking us - we're here protecting the people on this block" this was in response to my wife confronting him and his crew about their rowdy behavior, blatant drug dealing and disrespect.

there have also been many other, less quotable incidents. like the time he picked a metal shovel and hockey stick out of someone's garbage and tried to bludgeon his mother and brother with them in a dispute over $20. or when he got shot and refused medical treatment and the police nearly had to force him into the ambulance at gunpoint. and who could forget the time during our annual block party when, in another family dispute, he threw a cinderblock and beer bottle into a crowd of people nearly missing a group of small children.

one of the first times i ever called into the best show, i actually had to walk around the corner with my phone because he and his family were fighting so loudly i couldn't even hear mike screening my call. i can only imagine tom's reaction to the litany of swear words coming from the background on that call had i not found a better location.

[Tyrannosaurus Rocks]

On moving into a place, oh so long ago, my upstairs neighbor goes "You like music? Yeah? That's cool. The great thing about the landlord? He's 97, completely deaf. Me and my surf band will play until 3 in the morning! Sometimes the house next door calls the cops. But they're bitches."

I also once heard, yelled through the door of their apartment, a neighbor say "You just piss where ever you want, you little freak." I think they were addressing their new puppy. They were really nice guys. Once they went to get groceries, bought an extra 30-rack of beer, left it in front of my door, immediately turned around and went to play a show, and left a note.

It read "Bought you guys some beer. Want to come up and chill? We'll be back at 1 AM. We're going to watch a movie."

t

[fonpr]

he threw a cinderblock and beer bottle into a crowd of people nearly missing a group of small children.

He didn't miss?

[Sarah]

That's what made it so hilarious.

[Mark in Helsinki]

A few days before Christmas half of the radiators in our apartment go cold. It's -4 degrees Fahrenheit outside and forecasts said it would drop to -10 for the next week.

I complained to our 65-year-old chainsmoking landlady who lives across the hall that the two small electric space heaters (circa 1975) that she provided just weren't doing the job and our apartment was very cold, especially at night. I asked if the heating would be fixed by Christmas.

She said "no, it will be after the New Year."

As I became aware of our situation, my voice started to rise, echoing in the granite stairway. I said that that at least we needed more heaters and her "offer" of a 4500 watt industrial blower-heater (that they use to dry worksites out) wasn't going to work out.

"YOU ARE NEVER HAPPY!" She said, slamming her door.

[fonpr]

"You yell at my kid again and we're going to rumble."

I responded, "Rumble?"  Went inside and played Link Wray.

[Sarah]

In some other "Quote Your Insane Neighbors" thread on some other board, that guy is at this moment posting about you, Fredericks.

[fonpr]

It was a woman who said it.  She had a triathlete standing behind her though.

[andrew in philadelphia]

he threw a cinderblock and beer bottle into a crowd of people nearly missing a group of small children.

He didn't miss?

my mistake fredericks. touché.

fredericks from new port richey: i wish you were my neighbor. oh, the adventures we'd have...

[Pidgeon]

The neighbors on one side are my grandparents, and the other my uncle.

I don't know where to start; it's like Everybody Loves Raymond: Southern Edition.