Top Chef D.C. (Season 7)

[Omar]

Sorry, Omar!

I actually thought he was going to survive after Alex's dish was referred to as a "little nightmare."

[Trotskie]

Also, see the Village Voice for a pretty rough mauling of Ed's NY restaurant.

[ben]

Also, see the Village Voice for a pretty rough mauling of Ed's NY restaurant.

Those photos are pretty spot on, very similar.  I'm going to miss Stephen, even though he was pretty much a disaster in most challenges, he brought some of the humor and humanity that is missing this season.

Tiffany is bringing it on, of the chefs left she is the one who has both the talent to win it, and the personality that makes me want her to win.

[Sarah]

So Kenny is gone, and I am very grateful, for I was very, very tired of hearing him describe himself as a beast in the kitchen or, worse, threatening to "unleash the beast."  If he had such an unbeatable champion caged within him, why, one wonders, did he never avail himself of its powers?  Though he blustered at the end of "After the Knife," "Now the beast is gone, it's anybody's game," he hasn't been a serious contender for weeks.  Of the dishes served by his "restaurant," both of his got the worst rating.  The guy's a hack with fantastic prep skills, and I'm glad he's gone, even though watching Angelo act as though he's got the competition sewn up is going to be unpleasant (but won't it be just grand if he loses?).

Confession:  After weeks of trying to persuade myself that Alex was worth supporting, after watching him be an ass to the wait staff during Restaurant Wars, I give up.  I could forgive his sloppy and apparently inept cooking, but bullying?  Nope.  At least, Omar, your loser was a sweetie pie.

[Omar]

At least, Omar, your loser was a sweetie pie.

Indeed!  As usual, I have nothing to add to your analysis.  I recommend reading Gail's blog on the episode as she also effectively sums up the problems with the self-proclaimed "beast" who seems unable to make an edible salad.

[ben]

I thought it was nuts when that guest judge/food critic Frank Bruni complained about his glass of water being close to half empty.  Close to half empty?  So mostly full?  What an arrogant jerk. 

[Omar]

I thought it was nuts when that guest judge/food critic Frank Bruni complained about his glass of water being close to half empty.  Close to half empty?  So mostly full?  What an arrogant jerk.

Bruni is definitely a cretin.

[senorcorazon]

Blah blah blah. I'm so very annoyed that there is a wealth of mediocre in this season. SO we're supposed to pick between Angelo (read: "evil") and Tiffany? Yawn. Sure, I'm still going to watch every episode and complain until it's down to the final three, but I'm THIS CLOSE to renaming this thread "Top Chef, oh fuck it, wasn't Louie great this week?" Kenny definitely turned into a blowhard but at least I was interested in what he'd put together once the REAL cooking started on this show.

Also, time to rename Judge's Table to "Phoning It In Because This Show Should Have Ended Two Seasons Ago  Table". Their attempts to concoct some justification for producer's choices is tiresome.

Waaahh.

[Sarah]

Since I've given up on Alex, I have decided to root for Amanda because everyone hates her.  This is despite the fact that I hate people who pout.

You know, in seasons past, I've always watched every episode twice.  I feel no such inclination this round.  It comforts me, though, that everyone seems to be similarly bored with the D.C. installment.  At least that way I know my lack of engagement is not symptomatic of any new joylessness in my nature.  That's a relief, anyway.

And now Work of Art is done, too . . .

[thom]

The producers (and editors, assuming they have some narrative control) of Top Chef should make the fucking show be about food. They must have to sort through hours and hours of "boring food technique talk" to find a minute of bitching.

With a little stopping and thinking, the show would become an argument for why it is necessary to judge and criticize the goddamn stuff in the first place.

There is a stupid formality in the way the winners and losers are presented. I would really like to see the conversation the judges have without the winner and loser being obscured. It would be fun and new TV to see a legit argument over who gets the boot rather than editing around it and filling that time with tense heartbeat music and b-roll. And then Tom walks into a big room of everyone and points and says, "Hey Slick, your lamb rocked our faces off. Hey Goober, your foam soup was horseshit."

That, or just script the thing from start to finish and include a few murders.

[waltkellysghost]

What's the deal with foam, anyway? Looks like a flavored loogie on your plate. None for me thanks.

Also the "streaking" sauces just looks like you half-assed tried to wipe something up. Not very appetizing.

[Sarah]

I guess someone has to say something about the last installment. 

* No more Alex.  He did pretty well for a guy with only six years of experience (I was unaware of that detail till this show).  I will miss him slightly, because he was the only one of the remaining contestants who was occasionally vaguely entertaining.  He did make my skin crawl a little bit, though, especially when I realized he has the wide-eyed stare of a chronic liar (such a damning tell that is).

* Amanda is now going to be the only reliable source of amusement, and no doubt she's next for the block.  She sure said some dopey things this round.  I mean, how many mystery box challenges has she faced in her life that she could describe this one as the hardest?  And she wants to vamp the KGB?  And how about the tasteful Helen Keller remark?  (About which:  since the dishes were supposed to taste like the originals, surely HK should have been able to identify them all?)  She is a dum-dum who is consciously trying to be cute.  Still, I hate her less than Leah of yore, and out of sheer orneriness I wish she'd trounce everyone.  But she won't, 'cause she sort of sucks.

* Kelly irritated me hugely this week by putting air quotes around the "twenty thousand" of "twenty thousand dollars."  What, were they virtual numbers?  Stupid.  And I was appalled that she had never cooked Chinese food before.  And what about the whole "Yuck, I have to cook my rice on top of the stove" and "Boo hoo, how can that possibly be done in only thirty minutes?" (yeah, yeah, I know she's used to high-altitude cooking--big deal) crapola?  (Why do I like convoluted and often awkward syntax so much?  It's such an obnoxious affectation.  Sorry.)   Still, she, like Kevin with the Indian food, managed to do a good job with a cuisine with which she was totally unfamiliar, and I must acknowledge her competence. 

* Could not believe Angelo used frozen puff pastry.

* Was shocked--SHOCKED!--that both Wylie Dufresne and Eric Ripert ate off their knives.  What goops!

* Tiffany strikes me as a tad smug, anyway, and I think she'd better be careful:  four wins in a row might go to her head.

* Important final observation:  during a Stouffer's commercial I was forced to endure on Hulu, a frozen, microwaveable sub was described as being made with melted cheese. 

[Sarah]

How can I be so long-winded over so little?  Christ, imagine what I'd do if I actually had something to say.  The thought makes me shudder.

[senorcorazon]

Your bravery at trying to describe this snoozefest is admirable. Trying to make Angelo seem like a possible elimination candidate was dumb, and all of the "my favorite spy was the one with the gun" meant that many of the dishes were shown for a split second. I almost wish they'd just freeze frame for a minute and cut out a lot of the shopping montages instead.

Go home Kevin, go home Amanda, and then leave Ed. TIffany, Kelly and Angelo have some real cooking to do. Or at least, to put us out of our misery. As with every season I will probably declare "never again!" and then promptly return to watching it.

[Sarah]

Really, I want them all to lose.