Jimmy Kimmel is a humorless FWD

[Laurie]

I haven't read most of the Gawker blogs for some time, but there was a brief period of my life where I was obsessed with Defamer and Gawker. Of course, I occasionally check out Fleshbot. What do you expect from me? I most recently dropped by that site to see if there was anything on this new movie called Gaytanamo. I won a free DVD through the blog, and I registered with Dark Alley Media so I could check out the trailer to see what silver tongue had won me (link not work-safe!). It's like Billy Budd, the movie, but with more fisting. Anyhoodle, thanks Gawker for the free gay porn!

So, yes, I like Gawker. I do. I can't help it. This little panel hosted by Mr. Sarah Silverman only makes me want to read it more:

[youtube=425,350]2-avakrRUaU[/youtube]

Also, why oh why was Jimmy Kimmel asked to fill in for Hunchy McSuspenderson anyway?

[Dorvid Barnas]

5 years ago, I was in love with a young lady.  We would cuddle on my couch in Virginia and whenever Kimmel or Silverman came on, she would rant and rave about Kimmel, what a dick he was, what a misogynist, etc...  She also hated Sarah Silverman and would never ever smoke pot. 

Then - Two years ago she broke up w/ me, moved to Hollywood, and quickly got a receptionist job on HIS FUCKING SHOW!

Now?  She loves Jimmy Kimmel and gets high w/ Sarah Silverman on a regular basis. I've never gotten over her, even as I've slowly but surely fallen completely off of her radar. She was the only one I ever loved, and because of this, every glimpse of Kimmel or Silverman gives me brief pangs of sadness and anger.

Wow. I've never told that story in public before.  Cathartic.
But I'll never stop hating Kimmel, no matter how irrational my reason.

Also, The Man Show was evil.  I suppose that's a healthier reason for me to hate him.

[Omar]

5 years ago, I was in love with a young lady.  We would cuddle on my couch in Virginia and whenever Kimmel or Silverman came on, she would rant and rave about Kimmel, what a dick he was, what a misogynist, etc...  She also hated Sarah Silverman and would never ever smoke pot. 

Then - Two years ago she broke up w/ me, moved to Hollywood, and quickly got a receptionist job on HIS FUCKING SHOW!

Now?  She loves Jimmy Kimmel and gets high w/ Sarah Silverman on a regular basis. I've never gotten over her, even as I've slowly but surely fallen completely off of her radar. She was the only one I ever loved, and because of this, every glimpse of Kimmel or Silverman gives me brief pangs of sadness and anger.

Wow. I've never told that story in public before.  Cathartic.
But I'll never stop hating Kimmel, no matter how irrational my reason.

Also, The Man Show was evil.  I suppose that's a healthier reason for me to hate him.

I've always found the Kimmel-Silverman union to be disgusting.  It doesn't help that SS mentions his testicles in every interview.  I hope Rob Zombie casts her in WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE SS.

[John Junk]

5 years ago, I was in love with a young lady.  We would cuddle on my couch in Virginia and whenever Kimmel or Silverman came on, she would rant and rave about Kimmel, what a dick he was, what a misogynist, etc...  She also hated Sarah Silverman and would never ever smoke pot. 

Then - Two years ago she broke up w/ me, moved to Hollywood, and quickly got a receptionist job on HIS FUCKING SHOW!

Now?  She loves Jimmy Kimmel and gets high w/ Sarah Silverman on a regular basis.

Wow, Dorvid.  That girl sounds like an asshole.  You don't need that s-hit!

I think Gawker lady needs to take it dial it down a notch with the "whatEVER!"facial expressions.  That was a weird lynching-lite, though.  Like why was there a roundtable of grouchy old douchebags playing pinata with the gossip lady? 

She really zung him with the "piles of money to protect them from rocks" thing, and all he could get in was that it was a stupid thing to say.  This from a guy who made his millions off of girls bouncing on trampolines.

[Emily]

what's a FWD?

please don't call me one for not knowing this. please. you can pm me if it's too mean to post. thanks.

[Laurie]

Factory wrapped douche.

[Emily]

thanks.

[Chris L]

I think Gawker lady needs to take it dial it down a notch with the "whatEVER!"facial expressions.

I give the win to Kimmel based solely on that.  I'm not a fan but least he has people on his show like Zach Galifinakis and Neil Hamburger.

Can you imagine how confused Larry "I've never used the internet" King would be during this debate?  "So this person the Gawker is stalking Kevin Costner because he's fat?"

[John Junk]

Yeah, I'm kinda with you Chris L.  I've never been grilled on t.v. before, but I have had my art critiqued for a good five hours.  The poker face is essential.

[Dan B]

Jimmy Kimmel gets a W on this one.  That lady was wacky.

[Josh]

I kind of hate the idea that they won't get married until same-sex marriage is legal. Like their living in sin is fighting the good fight. Sheesh. I can just imagine Senator Tankerbell or any of those other Dixiecrats in Washington sweating that a toilet mouthed lady refusing to get hitched will push America over the edge.

[Jason]

I like Sarah Silverman, I liked her sitcom and I like her humps.

[buffcoat]

Chris L: Sorry to correct you, but I believe it's Neil HANDburger.

That is all.

[J W Buchanan]

Jimmy Kimmel can send that horrifying little gnome to harass people on the street and insult them through an earpiece*, but a non-celebrity can't tell people that they saw Jeremy Piven stuff his face at a Pizza Hut buffet bar?
Is the public supposed to be delighted to be unwittingly treated as a prop by a celebrity? Asshole.

*With all respect to Daniel Dratch

[Laurie]

Listen, if I see Cynthia Nixon on a crosstown bus, wearing no makeup and clutching a Zagat guide, I'm going to send my sighting to Gawker goddamnit. And I did. And it took me two full days to get around to submitting the sighting, as is the case for most of the submissions, I'm sure.