The Allure of the Seas

[Sarah]

I'm finishing up the Depravity's Rainbow talent show, and all this talk of the Allure of the Sea is making me sick.  Below are the ships I've crossed the sea in:


(which I knew as the Aurelia)
 

(known to me as the Remuera)


(the Oranje)


(the Lermontov)

Now these are ships of proper proportion, damn it.

Other thoughts: 

* I'm fairly certain "port out, starboard home" had to do with not getting the sun in your eyes when you were in your cabin. 

* The longest I was at sea was for two three-week stretches, with only two stops along the way each time (and I only went ashore on one of them).  Mike and John Hodgman are lightweights.  Although in their defense, I was traveling with a much smaller crowd; I suppose the size of those cruise ships and the mass of human flesh contained therein could be pretty overwhelming.

* Like John Hodgman, however, I think being onboard a ship is one of the most soothing experiences in the world.

* I would hope that, if there were a Best Show cruise, Tom would pattern himself on the character played by the esteemed Steve Coogan in the movie Cruise of the Gods rather than behaving like Rob Brydon's ungracious alter ego.

* In conclusion, for the zombie aficionados among you, here is a Jonathan Coulton song you might enjoy:

re: Your Brains

[Denim Gremlin]

what was your rum ration on those ships?

[Sarah]

I was only of an age to drink on the last one (the Lermontov), and it was Carlsberg all the way, for some reason.  Oh, and Russian wine with supper.  Maybe one vodka with some obligatory caviar.

Henny Youngman was the entertainment one night.  Foncy!

[AllSussedOut]

I was lucky enough to travel on the Allure of the Seas in December, and had a wonderful, wonderful time.  Didn't figure myself a cruise person in any way, shape or form.... but... wow.

Mike undersold it substantially.  I hope he enjoyed it more than he let on.

[B_Buster]

I'm sorry I made you sick, Sarah. Unfortunately, because I am a common man from the hardknock streets of Bayonne (see Lights Out, FX, Tue. nights), my job doesn't allow me to get away for three week stretchs to hang around with the highfalutin crowd you're accustomed to. I do argree with you regarding the soothing qualities of cruising and will most likely book another one sometime in  the future (probably out of Bayonne or "Cape Liberty" as it's called to ease the fears of those who might be intimidated by Bayonne's innate grittiness).

[Sarah]

1. You never make me sick Mike; those monster ships, however, do.  Look how tiny those ships I was on were (they're all sunk or decommissioned now, I believe).

2. Me, pay?  I got my ocean voyages for free, baby.  But my associate-professor-at-SUNY father (ret.) and nonworking mother will be interested to learn how rich they were.

[Martin]

Long have I wished to take a transatlantic cruise from the UK to the New World. It seems that Cunard are still providing that service, but their website is awful and frustratingly non-informative:

http://www.cunard.co.uk/

What I want to know, for example, is how much is a one-way ticket? How many days is the cruise? You'd think these be simple questions. I'm getting the feeling they want to sort out the trash, and the people who really want to go, and have the cash to do so, don't care about mundane things like websites, they just call up their Personal Travel Agent who arranges all.

[Sarah]

From NYC to Southhampton and Le Havre to NYC both took five or so days.  I have no idea how much the voyages cost, and both took place a gazillion years ago, so that wouldn't be much help.  I have the impression transatlantic travel has become much more of a luxury than it was back then. 

I always wanted to make the trip on truly fancy ship.  But the kind I'd want probably doesn't exist anymore.  My ideal would be something like the passage from the US to England in the Jeremy Irons Brideshead Revisited.  Right down to the rough seas, which would uncrowd the conditions beautifully.  There were a couple of choppy days on the Lermontov, and it felt like the ship was my private clubhouse, so many people were stuck in their cabins vomiting (among them, my poor mother, who is not a good sailor).

later . . .

Martin, go here.  It looks like you could book passage for a five-to-seven-day voyage in the cheapest cabin (below the water line, which wouldn't be a big deal--you wouldn't spend much time there) for around a thousand bucks.  Not bad. 

I want to go! 

[Martin]

You're right, that's not too bad.

[Smelodies]

I saw dolphins on my last voyage.

"Dolphin Song"

[B_Buster]

Hey, I scooped the NY Times!

http://travel.nytimes.com/2011/02/13/travel/13allure.html?scp=9&sq=royal&st=cse

[Sarah]

Congratulations.  But that ship still gives me the creeps.